The House Of Heat

U of A Sports Debacle Instructions

2008-02-12T11:31:00.000-07:00

The following .pdf document was discovered by Devils Digest moderator Big E. It was apparently sent out to all wildcat fans following the Sun Devil basketball sweep that concluded on Sunday. It seems that their fallback rally cry of "wait 'til basketball season!" has grown stale and they don't even have the promise of football recruiting to look forward to any longer.

This Sun Devil dominance has left many cat fans clueless and unprepared (just like their degrees do- Zing!) for encounters with Sun Devil fans who have been basking in the glory of their recent success. Apparently Arizona Athletic Director Jim Livengood felt they should all be on the same page.

The findings:

When it rains it pours

2008-02-11T14:35:00.000-07:00

Arizona State University: Makin' it rain on dem wildcat hoes since 1885.

In light of getting swept by the Sun Devils in their beloved cash cow men's basketball, one would think this would be a good week for the University of Arizona to lie low and wait it out until softball season starts, but leave it to our good friend Jeff Metcalfe to pile it on when some piling needs doing. Metcalfe, the ASU beat writer for the Arizona Republic, has been the only Republic journalist that has treated ASU like a hometown team as long as I've been reading it (about a decade) and today may be his finest hour. We'll get to Jeff in a moment.

In a story that should have already died (thanks internet!), Mike Stoops used part of his signing day press conference to badmouth the recruits that originally pledged committments to UA but later switched to ASU. He also made sure to include a potshot about rival Arizona State and their academics, stating the following: "Obviously Arizona State has turned into a JC, and we're a four-year college. According to all the players, they say it is easier to go to school there, easier to get in. I thought we had the same requirements."
Wow. I've had a number of thoughts regarding the situation since it came out last Wednesday.

1. The academic requirements are identical at ASU, UA and NAU, as set forth by the Arizona Board of Regents.
This is true! There was such a large request for information after this story broke that the University posted two academic FYI articles on the official athletics website.

2. Every other team in the country is talking about the players they signed, how bad are yours that you're discussing the ones you lost?
Not great but it could have been worse. Stoops signed the top DB in the west in Robert Golden, but the overall class was ranked 39th by Rivals, 39th by Scout, and 32nd by espn. A 36.6 average out of 119 D1 teams sounds pretty good, but 36.6 out of the 66 BCS teams comes off as pretty meh, ranging somewhere near the 45th percentile. In a day based on potential where everyone wins, somehow Arizona loses.

3. Dennis Erickson fucking owns you.
Also true! Stoops got one of the top 18 recruits in the State of Arizona while Erickson got six. Also, DE is 1-0 against Stoops lifetime, and while one doesn't usually make a trend, you know it's a trend. By the way, ASU's recruiting class landed a ranking average of 20, good enough for the 70th percentile.

4. Koetter never even pulled any shit like this, you buffoon.
He hated the media, and the media hated him back. If Koetter had done something this stupid, you would have known about it. This means one very important thing: Koetter loses the "horse's ass" moniker, for Lord Stoops has rightfully claimed it as his own!
At least Stoops didn't punt during the presser.

5. I bet those UA nutjobs will rally around him again, using JuCo! as a battle cry for years to come.
Example A. Example B, they chanted "J-C! J-C! J-C!" during Sunday's loss to ASU in hoops. Case closed.

6. What kind of a message does this send to Stoops' commits? Should they not be the star of the show?
The verdict's still out on this one since Tucson isn't exactly a hub of information or unbiased journalism.

7. What kind of a message does this send to the three players that switched commitments?
Which brings us to today's article by Jeff Metcalfe. I would make the entire thing my smartass subtitle at the top of the page, but Blogger has a character limit. Metcalfe took the time to interview RB Ryan Bass, WR Gerrell Robinson, and WR Jarell Barbour- the three big name recruits that spurned UA for ASU- to find out what they thought. Bring on the quotes! (emphasis mine) Barbour said ASU associate athletic director Jean Boyd, is the "main reason why I'm there." Boyd directs ASU's academic support for football and other sports. "He sat me down and said this is what you need to do to be eligible to play football," said Barbour, who feels his comments were misused by Stoops.

"He put my business out in the open. It was cruel. I didn't want to go there because their football team is horrible. They stunk it up bad. I didn't want to be a part of it. I want to be on a good football team that's going to go places."

Running back Ryan Bass of Corona (Calif.) Centennial also was expressed disappointment in Stoops: "I felt he was out of bounds with his comments. I hope he didn't make those comments because I switched to Arizona State. Everyone knows it's the same to get in. It didn't sit too well with me. I'm glad he (Stoops) apologized."

"I've worked too hard these past four years to say I have grade issues," said Robinson, who has a 3.0 grade-point average and 1490 SAT score that are good enough for admission to Notre Dame. "We all have reasons why we decommitted and why we committed in the beginning. We're 17- and 18-year-old kids. He's a grown man. You'd expect him to take the high road. If anything, you'd expect one of the three of us to say something like that, not the grown man in the situation.

"ASU has done nothing but help get Jarrell and Ryan on the right track. I don't think Arizona was adamant about doing that at all. I was there 15-20 times myself and never once saw anything about academics. It was poor judgment on my part (to initially commit to UA). ASU on junior day showed us around to all the educational categories they have."

Barbour also is more than ready for his first Territorial Cup.

"I can't remember the last time Arizona beat Arizona State," he said. "We're going to take it out on the field, and it's not going to be pretty. It'll be the best game of my life, I promise that."
A note to Mr. Stoops: when you're in a hole, step #1 is to stop digging. Please cease and desist any and all digging immediately. We at ASU would like to see nothing more than a lengthy contract extension for you.

I can't believe that just f___ing happened!

2008-02-10T18:57:00.000-07:00

Is it dead? Damn skippy. The Sun Devils played true team basketball today to drop the Cats for the second time this season, sweeping UA on the season and winning at McKale for the first time since 1995. James Harden was limited by a flu virus and was held out of practice for most of the week, but he was able to play a majority of the game, doing all of the little things that are usually overshadowed by his scoring touch. Three steals, five rebounds (two on offense), and plenty of hustle on defense made him a factor even if he wasn't the factor. That honor belongs to Jeff Pendergraph, who dropped an ungodly 29 points on the Cats.

Pendergraph's offensive explosion didn't happen all by itself, as the Sun Devil team played in the spirit of Norman Dale's Hickory team in Hoosiers- "five pistons firing as a unit." Soph PG Derek Glasser played like a fifth-year senior, a floor general whizzing passes that even the ASU players couldn't see coming at times. I think a large fraction of Sun Devil fans let out a collective "oh crap here we go again" when Glasser fouled out (on a bullshit charge call oh by the way) with 3:33 remaining. Jamelle McMillan filled in nicely for Glasser however, sinking a driving scoop shot and sustaining the lead without turning the ball over in the waning moments of Sunday's victory. Ty Abbott and Jerren Shipp still don't seem to have the outside shooting touch many of us were expecting this season, but they ran through the offense with precise cuts and sharp passes while refusing to yield on the defensive end, holding Chase Budinger to a whopping FOUR points.

Arizona State's matchup zone was unbelievable, doing exactly what it's designed to do: reduce a team to five individuals. Jordan Hill, a monster on both ends in the first matchup in Tempe, wasn't able to get involved in UA's offensive scheme, but then again neither was anyone not named Jerryd Bayless. And seriously, Jerryd with a "Y"? maybe his pops was a big Jackyl fan in the 1980's. Oh happy day, look who's playing Tucson on May 10, because you can't make stuff like this up. Wow, what a day this has been! Getting back on track, the non-Bayless wildcats totaled a meager 15 points on the day.

Regarding Harden's flu bug, it may have helped the team's outlook on playing in such a challenging environment. During the recently ended five game losing streak and especially against USC, the offense was doing a lot of standing around, as though they were waiting for Harden to make a play. The entire gameplan appeared to be geared to get James the ball on the right wing and let him dribble-drive down the lane. Knowing he wouldn't be up to carrying the load today, the Sendek offense played it's best 40 minute stretch I've seen since his arrival in Tempe, getting the ball to all five players on a consistent basis. There were lob passes, down screening, and back door cuts that, when utilized in combination with one another, appear to be a pick-your-poison predicament for opposing defenses. If this team keeps this level of play up and then starts hitting threes, look the fuck out.

How sweep it is!

Up next for this new basketball sport is #9 Stanford, who the Devils led by ten in the first half on the road before succumbing to the Cardinal and losing by double digits. That game was a microcosm for this season in Sun Devil basketball. The offense was fluid in the first half and ran through Pendergraph in the high post, making the Lopez twins virtual non factors by attacking the basket from every spot on the court. As soon as Jeff got into foul trouble and off the floor the ASU offense was reduced to the James Harden solo act, which got outscored by 20 in the second half. These are the joys of having three true freshmen in the starting lineup, though: they are nothing if not inconsistent. Let's not thrust these Sun Devils into a postseason selection just yet; at some point in the near future they will play far worse than they did today, but hopefully for very short stretches.

A fun fact brought up by Hode over at Devil's Digest: Since the start of the 2007-2008 athletics season, ASU is undefeated against UA, including the following:

Two wins in basketball
Two wins in Women's basketball
One win in soccer
One (another) win in football

How do I bitchslap thee, let me count the ways. It's a great time to be a Sun Devil.

Sullivan better than Carpenter? HELL NO

2007-12-31T02:06:00.000-07:00

You've got to be kidding me. People are jumping ship on Carpenter after a couple of bad outings and are calling for backup Danny Sullivan to compete for the starting job when spring camp begins in March. Arrogant? Yes. Erratic and unconventional? Guilty. But Sullivan is NOT better than Carpenter, and to declare him so after a good stint of mop up duty in awfully harsh.

Danny Sullivan had moderate success during mop-up duty in the Holiday bowl. He went 7-14 for 118 yards with a pick and a score, which is ok but not job promotion good. Besides, Texas had softened their coverage, playing a bit of umbrella/prevent passing defense, which we all know doesn't work. In other action this season, he stepped in to the UCLA game and turned a nearly locked-up game into a nail biter by fumbling the ball away to the Bruin defense. That fumble was no fluke, if you watch tape on Sullivan he (just guessing here) probably fumbled in more than half of his career appearances. As previously noted on this site, the ball won't give you cancer, Danny.

Paying little mind to the Holiday Bowl, Carpenter is 21-10 as ASU's starter and is on track to break school records in career games won, passing touchdowns, and passing yards. He is taking entirely too much blame for ASU's three losses, when in fact he should be given credit for carrying the offense after losing one of the Pac-10's top running backs in Ryan Torain and surviving that abysmal pass blocking.

Rudy Carpenter is one of the top quarterbacks in the Pac-10, a conference known for producing top-notch quarterbacks. Based on returning starters for 2008, it's hard to say he won't be an all-conference selection heading into next season. It's probably still too early for Jake locker, and don't try to sell me that Tuitama lemon. Ok, maybe Longshore, but is that something you want to gamble away by putting your faith in a backup with zero starts and fewer that 40 career passing attempts over two years?

Carpenter is definitely a polarizing figure, and another quarterback competition/controversy could prove detrimental to team unity, especially this early in Erickson's tenure. A promising 2006 team never got a chance after the Sam Keller switcheroo incident finishing a very meh 7-6, and the suggestion of Carpenter splitting practice reps with Sullivan would likely lead the Sun Devils down the same path. those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it. You don't lose your job going into your senior season. An ASU coach tried that once, and it blew up in his face eventually costing him his job. The suggestion is ludicrous, and Rudy has proven himself on the field. He gives his all on every play and he's a fiery competitor that should be leading ASU in the Pac-10 title hunt next season.

Sullivan better than Carpenter? HELL YES

2007-12-31T01:20:00.000-07:00

Danny Sullivan stepped in to the Holiday Bowl against Texas' starting defense and marched the Sun Devils down the field for two scores, throwing 7-14 for 118 yards including going 5-5 on his first drive. He's had some serious butterfingers his entire collegiate career but he showed all of us on Thursday that he's capable of running this team. He obviously possesses a stronger arm that Carpenter, and he's able to throw the ball with zip in addition to airing it out on the long bombs. Sullivan appeared to have better field vision (being taller helps), and for someone with so little game experience he did a good job of making his progressions and reads without locking on to a single receiver, something Carpenter is guilty of doing every so often. Despite being bigger, Sullivan isn't the concrete-footed sloth we're used to seeing in the maroon and gold pocket. (see Walter, Andrew and Keller, Sam) In fact, he looked far more elusive than the smaller Carpenter. Remember how early on in the season Carpenter's mobility was supposed to be a strength? My how times change.

The most important and noticeable difference between Carpenter and Sullivan in the Holiday Bowl is that Sullivan seems to be able to lead receivers on passing routes, which is what Erickson/Olson's offense is designed to do. If you look at the delicious 41-9 Fiesta Bowl massacre of Notre Dame, Erickson's Oregon State team burned the Irish secondary with catch and runs by Chad Johnson and TJ Hooshmazoo. Carpenter's receivers always seem to be leaping, diving, and contorting themselves to make spectacular catches where they immediately fall to the ground or out of bounds. As a former hockey goalie, I was taught that the spectacular saves you see on NHL 2Night were the result of the goaltender being out of position, not because of some sort of freakish skill. If he were in position, the save would have been made in lackluster fashion, the puck would have been covered, and a faceoff would have ensued. Dominick Hasek was the exception, but any goalie coach will tell you to never watch Hasek for technique. Where was I? Oh yes, leading the receivers. Chris McGaha is an incredible athlete- he won a slam dunk contest in high school- his athletic ability would be on some serious display if he was able to catch and run rather than snare all of Rudy's over/underthrown balls. Kyle Williams has Shaun MacDonald explosiveness (not hands, obviously) and pre-injury Brandon Smith (remember him?) was garnering comparisons to Chad Johnson in fall camp. Hard to say what Mike Jones can do since he usually runs out routes, but you don't play Pac-10 football and baseball by being a slouch. All four of these guys return next season, along with athletic Kerry Taylor and Nate Kimbrough. It would be nice to take advantage of them.

And finally, I'm not hanging out with the players but Carpenter seems like a locker room cancer and his rumored smack talking coupled with the sideline tirades are embarrassing our school. I hate to say it, but he looks like a budding Mike Stoops. The offensive line hasn't been great this year, but not everyone responds well to being called out in front of 71,000 people. There's a reasonable possibility that the pass blocking wasn't that great on purpose. Despite the negative attention another QB controversy would bring to ASU, it's time for an open competition under center.

Basketball!

2007-12-15T15:24:00.000-07:00

It looks like Texas isn't the only Holiday Bowl participant that is "now a basketball school" as ASU hoops gets a quality win over a ranked nonconference opponent. Xavier is seen as one of the top mid-majors and they're a sexy pick to go deep into the tournament in March, but it all came crashing down in Tempe this afternoon as the Sun Devils walk away with a 77-55 victory in an echo-filled Wells Fargo Arena. Arizona State played their best start-to-finish game in a very long time, easily since Ike left town and probably longer than that.

I fucking love love love Ty Abbott. He rebounds like a starving man fighting for a buffet ticket and he chucks threes with reckless abandon. He's a little fella too, straight scrappy. Plays tough defense, and isn't afraid to use his body. Marques Johnson pointed out that Abbott "hip-checked" a Muskateer while scrambling for a loose ball. James Harden is getting a lot of the attention this season, but Ty is my boy early on. He has a lot of Jason Braxton/Alton Mason in him, and if you know who either of those guys are I'll give you a shiny nickel because you, sir, are a true fan. Nineteen points is a prett good total for somebody who's "that other local guy" among this year's freshmen.

I was going to post a pic of Scrappy Doo, but Abbott is more like the chickenhawk. Besides, I never liked Scrappy anyway and the chickenhawk is a badass.

The one-three-one defense! Xavier is a tremendously talented team, at least physically, and the 1-3-1 gave them fits for most of the day. ASU has enough hustle and raw speed on defense that using this cover package can negate obvious physical mismatches, but no one is saying we're going to roll UCLA, Arizona, or the rest of the conference; ASU got a ton of bounces and had a staggering field goal percentage today. Add to that, Xavier looks like they went out to Mill Avenue last night. Maybe it's because it's right after finals and maybe it's jet lag, but I kept waiting for them to turn it on and they simply couldn't.

Good job on not rushing the court. Way to act like you've been there before.

That's right, two posts in one day after months of silence. I do what I can. I'll gladly accept auditions for a second contributor to the blog, preferably one that lives in/near Tempe and can actually watch/go to the basketball games. Just email me something that includes 1) a story about ASU athletics and 2) an anecdote about something stupid you and your friends did while under the influence- we're obviously running a tight ship here. Zap them to me via the intertubes at houseofheat of the gmail variety.

Holiday Bowl Warm up

2007-12-15T10:21:00.000-07:00

I've never cared too much for Texas, and growing up in Oklahoma I didn't find too many folks who did. They weren't the hated archrival that they are today; in the 1980's the Horns were in a relative slump and Oklahoma was contending for the National Championship every season. Our bitter rival was Nebraska, as more often than not the winner of that game would play against Miami in the Orange Bowl with major title implications. Texas wasn't even a conference game in those days, as they were still the overlords of the old SWC. Obviously times have changed, but I still have loyalties to the Sooners. This game will be a lot of fun for me, even though I'll be watching it from my couch.

We're not just playing the University of Texas- we're playing the whole state, which happens to be a republic. Despite a number of quality football programs in the Lone Star state, the people of Texas unite around the Longhorns the same way they do with the Cowboys. This game will be very special for the eight Native Texans on the ASU roster.

# Name: Hometown (high school)
1 Mike Jones: Sugarland, TX (Fort Bend Austin)
20 Jonathan Clark: Arlington, TX (Seguin)
23 Chris Baloney: Houston, TX (Langham Creek)
31 Dmitri Nance: Euless, TX (Trinity)
46 Jeff Bereuter: Irving, TX (MacArthur)
48 Chad Lindsey: Houston, TX (Cypress Ridge)
71 Saia Falahola: Euless, TX (Trinity)
78 Julius Orieukwu: Houston, TX (Bellaire)

Leading up to big games against USC, Coach Kush was notorious for motivating the Sun Devil players who were California natives by taunting them during practice for never having been recruited by the Trojans. Dennis Erickson may or may not employ this strategy, but there ought to be at least some sort of chip applied to the shoulders of each of the aforementioned Texans.

Dmitri Nance received no recruiting attention from the Horns having split backfield time in his junior year, and he took it upon himself to recruit the Sun Devils leading up to his breakout senior year where he finished second all-time in single season yards in Texas 5A high school football history. Number one, of course, is Texas alum Cedric Benson.

Mike Jones was on Texas' radar but wasn't exactly a priority for Mack Brown's staff. From a 2003 Scout.com article:

Texas ATH Michael Jones has had good December trips to Oklahoma St and Arizona St. Missouri is set for this weekend. But if Texas comes calling, those trips won't matter much.

Sugar Land Austin (TX) WR/ATH Michael Jones says he'll commit to the Texas Longhorns if they come through with an offer. "They haven't talked to me about offering," says Jones. "But they've told me to keep them in mind. If they offered, I'd commit.

The offer never came but Jones isn't exactly ho-humming around Tempe, he's busy catching game-winning passes against U of A.

Who? MIKE JONES!

Heeeeey Pardner! For the rest of you who will be watching the Holiday Bowl on tv like me, take solace: Brent Musberger will be calling the game. Sure, we'll have to deal with him calling us "Wildcats" every so often (as he did during the 2005 Insight Bowl), not to mention the constant polestroking of Texas from the powerhouse Big XII sponsored by Dr. Pepper Jackaroooot, but there's one thing that will soothe the pain: the Brent Musberger Drinking game. Win or lose, you'll drink more booze.

If you're going to the game, the shirt shown above is available in maroon at Hornhater.com. The website, which is affiliated with no single school in particular, also accepts special orders on other colors (ahem, GOLD) so get cracking and be sure to get a batch in time for the trip to San Diego.

The Pacific Life Holiday Bowl
Thursday, December 27
8 pm EST on espn
www.holidaybowl.com

All is right with the world...AGAIN

2007-12-06T12:32:00.001-07:00

What's the greatest nation in the world? DOMINATION!

Three in a row. Seven of the last nine. UA's bowlless streak is nine and counting while ASU will go to their fourth straight. 364 more days of knowing we're better than them. So what if we're not going to the BCS. Unless you're in the title game, big freaking whoop (there's also several million dollars at stake, but I digress). A tilt with Texas in the Holiday Bowl is nothing to sneeze at, especially since one important fact seems to be overlooked: ASU is co- Pac-10 Champions!

I'm not as butt hurt as most seem to be about the snub, but the only solace I can take is that even though ASU got the shaft, Missouri got the double-ended multi-pronged gas-powered behemoth of a shaft, having beaten two BCS participants in Kansas and Illinois yet still sit on the outside looking inward. ASU controlled it's own destiny and lost it's two biggest challenges against Oregon and USC. Tough titty, but a two-loss team shouldn't be in the BCS anyway. If it's any consolation the Holiday Bowl has been labeled by the talking heads as on of the best non-BCS matchups.

The silver lining in all of this: look who still has a job!

A fun tidbit to think about before your focus shifts to Texas: when was the last time anyone rushed the field after defeating U of A at home?

EDIT: Best joke I heard all weekend- How do you keep a wildcat from masturbating?

A: paint his junk maroon and gold and he won't be able to beat it for years.

How to deal with a wildcat fan

2007-11-27T18:19:00.000-07:00

you're bound to encounter one this week, so here's a few handy tips on how to respond to soe red/blue clad sissyboy from Tucson.

1) They will call you a "scummie." It's short for the beautifully inventive scumdevil, the kittycat moniker for all things Sparky.

Your response: call them a pussy. Do so loudly, as it's true on a number of levels. If you don't want to use such language in front of children there's always the alternative. You know what the difference is between a toddler and a comb? You don't need a runing start to kick the teeth out of a comb. Teach 'em to fear ASU at an early age.

2) They will use scare tactics, noting UA football to be "on the rise," "turning the corner," and everyone's favorite "closing the gap" that exists between ASU's and UA's respective programs.

Your response: Obviously none of these are true, so technically you don't need to do anything mre than laugh at such idiocy. One fun comeback is to point out that Bill Clinton was almost halfway through his second term the last time Wilbur went to a bowl game. George Bush has been president for a long time, y'all.

3) The all time series is in Arizona's favor at 44-36-1.

Your response: It's true, and kudos to you as those were some mighty impressive wins against Tempe Normal School back in the pre-depression days. ASU has only been a university since 1958 and in that time holds a 27-21-1 advantage when the schools held equal academic standing, not to mention winning two in a row, four of the last five, and six of the last eight.

4) We beat Oregon they were #2 they beat you so we're better than you we're on a roll BYAAAAH!!!

Your response: No you didn't, you beat Brady Leaf. Dennis Dixon ran all over you in the 1st quarter with an already torn ACL. You can thank Omar Bolden for that one, and thanks to you for keeping us in the Rose Bowl hunt. What, you don't know what a Rose Bowl is? Let me explain...

5) Becoming frustrated, a true wildcat always makes reference to the lopsided nature of the
basketball rivalry.

Your response: Point out the irrelevance of such an argument and make reference to our new coach and highly rated recruiting class. Then note how ASU hoops is turning the corner, closing the gap, etc. Apply heavy sarcasm and watch the kitty squirm.

A few helpful zingers to squeeze in:

Arizona has not bee to a bowl game since the 1998 Holiday Bowl.
Arizona has only been to 12 bowl games EVER.
Arizona has never produced an NFL quarterback.
Arizona has not won an outright conference championship since 1941. (Border Conference)
Mike Stoops has never had a winning season as a head coach.
Willie Tuitama has started two games against ASU and has not won or finished either of them.

Fuck 'em.

May hate week COMMENSE

2007-11-27T17:07:00.000-07:00

We're going for three in a row, but so much more is at stake. The first ten-win season for the Sun Devils, Keeping the kitties from becoming bowl eligible again, and there is still a mathematical possibility of a Rose Bowl if UCLA plays as manic-depressive as they have all year and can upset USC again.

I'll be arriving in Tempe late Wednesday night so send emails to houseofheat of the gmail variety if you care to buy me a beer, invite me to your tailgate, etc. On Saturday our crew will be in section 38 next to the band, the same place we sat when we witnessed this:

Weather could throw a huge wrench into all of this as the experts are forecasting a 40% chance of t-showers on saturday. One has to think this works more to Sparky's favor than it does to the vaunted Air-izona pass happy offense. Squatty guys like Keegan Herring and Dmitri Nance ought to have a field day eluding defenders in soggy conditions.

It's concussion time, motherfuckers.

Well that sucked.

2007-11-04T13:30:00.000-07:00

So we lost. The sting isn't as bad as it was immediately following the game, but the BCS is looking like a streatch barring a complete catastrophe, not that the 2007 college football season hasn't been without the unbelievable. More on that in a moment, but what the hell happened?

We got beat by a better team but I think Oregon fans will admit that Saturday's game wasn't their best performance. There were several dropped passes by the Ducks, they were without superman Dennis Dixon for the fourth quarter, and the Oregon pass D was less than spectacular. While many doors were left open for ASU throughout the night, the Sun Devils couldn't seem to walk through any of them. Here's my list of gripes:

1) Red zone efficiency. I don't think it's been that bad inside the 20 since 2004, having 1st and goal inside the 5 and settling for three. There were four field goal attempts on the night, one of which was directly caused by poor clock management. ASU had gained momentum for the first time in the game and with a touchdown on the last drive of the 1st half the Devils could have been within one, carrying a positive attitude into the locker room knowing they get the ball to start the second half wiith an opportunity to take the lead. Instead they settle for a missed field goal and momentum swings back to Oregon.

2) ASU play calling. WTF? The ghost of Dirk Koetter haunted Autzen last night, going pass, pass, pass starting midway through the third quarter. When ASU did run, it was only in the most obvious situations. On the first posession the Devils ran between the tackles on 1st, 2nd, and 3rd and goal before kicking a three-pointer. Halfway through the 3rd quarter on 4th and goal as ASU was mounting a comeback, everyone knew the play that was coming once Dmitri Nance lined up in the backfield. Handoff, left side of the line. It burned Washington and Cal for first downs but Oregon had seen the tape and were ready. A quote from Oregon defensive coordinator Nick Aliotti, taken from the Arizona Republic: "On fourth and 1, they always like to run (a certain) play," Aliotti said, "so I said we're going to blitz those linebackers through that gap. We're going to hit it and take a shot. And if they do something else, then maybe we're in trouble, but we blitzed the backers, and it worked."
Loss of two, Duck ball. Oregon inserted that scheme on Saturday morning, hours before kickoff.

After that drive the run-based game plan was completely abandoned. Once Oregon realized we were going all pass, the defense pinned their ears back and blitzed to the tune of six second-half sacks.

3) Luck runs out. How many fumbles has ASU lost this season? What's the Sun Devils' 4th down conversion rate on the season? How many field goals have been missed on the year? What's the red zone conversion rate? Shit happens, and Weber, Thompson, et. al. all picked an extremely bad time to start. As much as I would have loved to lynch those two diuring the game, you really can't blame them as it was a team loss, from coaching on down. All of these errors coupled with playing the early-deficit game finally burned ASU. One can credit Oregon's defense and home-field advantage, but as both Rudy Carpenter and Mike Pollak noted in post game interviews, it all came down to a lack of execution on ASU's part.

4) Oregon is really, really good. Hats off to this Duck team, as Dennis Dixon was everything advdrtised and BOTH Jaison Williams and Jonathan Stewart are the most underrated players at their respective positions in the nation. The defense has it's holes in the secondary, but they stop the run well and they step up as a unit when they have to. The Ducks play focused, smart football; they are confident without being boastful. I heard Dixon say several times this week, including post-game, that everyone on this team "plays within themselves." Keep doing what you do without letting your heads get too big and a trip to New Orleans is probably in your future. Congratulations on your victory, Ducks.

So what's the deal on the big picture? Keep remembering, Devil fans, that the Rose Bowl is still well within reach. Oregon still has to play at Arizona next Thursday night in a game where the punters might as well stay home, then they travel to the Rose Bowl to battle the most bipolar team in college football history, and then they host a bitch of a rivalry game against Oregon State in the annual Civil War clash. If ASU takes care of business and wins out, one can hope the Ducks have a hiccup. I honestly don't want it to go down that way, but I'll take it. A conference championship is a conference championship.

It comes without a ring, but a more honorable way to visit Pasadena in January would be for Oregon to win out and qualify for the national championship game in New Orleans. (they should have jumped LSU in the rankings today, that's total whoreshit but I digress) ASU also wins out and receives an at-large BCS bid, Pac-10 pride holla! the problem is that the BCS hates the Pac-10 more than Les Miles does, and the conference of champions has not put two teams into the BCS since the evil system formed in 1998. There will be stiff competition as there are only two at-large spots available, and here's a quick snapshot of each conference.

The SEC: the eastern division seems to be taking care of itself by knocking each other off in cannibalistic fashion, but a Georgia loss would be nice at some point. We reeeeeeally need LSU to drop a game before the SEC championship game but the schedule is mighty soft. Help us Darren McFadden, you're our only hope. LSU will still get an at-large bid if they lose the SECCG, so they definitely need to win that one. If Oregon didn't skip them after beating the BCS #4, they won't do it for the rest of the year.

The Big Televen: Help a brother out, Zooker. Illinois goes to the horseshoe this Saturday to face Ohio State, and it's the last chance to knock OSU out of the top spot without any reprecussions. If Ohio State loses to Michigan the Buckeyes may still garner an at large bid in the shadow of Michigan's automatic bid, even though strength of schedule is heavily in ASU's favor. Remember that they play near the east coast and ASU desn't have anybody like Brent Musberger campaigning for them. I can't say it enough, the whole world hates the Pac-10.

The Big East: God help us all of the Big East put two teams into the BCS, but luckily it looks impossible. West Virginia has the best case for an at-large bid if UConn wins out but the two face each other on November 24 in an elimination game. No conference championship game to worry about, only eight Big East teams field football squads.

The ACC: Boston College is still ranked ahead of ASU even though THEY LOST AT HOME TO AN UNRANKED TEAM and ASU lost on the road to the hottest team in the country. Whatever. They'll apparently have to lose to another team for ASU to pass them in to an at-large bid, and I'm sure Virginia Tech would love some sweet revenge after deflating at home to BC last Thursday. Not too many worries here, since Tech will have a tough case as a two loss team, even though they have the best case of any two loss team.

The Big XII: ...and here lies the problem. Kansas is undefeated, Missourah has one loss to a badass Oklahoma team, and Oklahoma has one loss but is in the driver's seat in the south. The Sooners have had rough times in their Bedlam Series with Okie State, and this year looks to be no different with the Pokes' offensive firepower. Kansas faces their biggest test so far this week at Okie State, and there will be an elimination game between the Jayhawks and Mizzou on Thanksgiving weekend. If neither team stumbles before Turkey day, the best case scenario for Devil fans will be for Mizzou to win and then lose to Oklahoma. I'm expecting OU to roll in the CG, and even with a weak SOS the Jayhawks could make a strong case for a bid with only one loss to a good Sooner squad. If Kansas wins out, Oklahoma's other loss was early enough that most will forget about it and they won't get dropped too far, probably leaving them neck-and-neck with ASU for the last BCS spot.

Cowboy Pete, Sparky's new friend.

It'll be a bitch, but anything can happen this year. A team that lost to Appalachian State could still go to the Rose Bowl for chrissakes.

Open thread v. Oregon

2007-11-03T15:06:00.000-07:00

And so, the time is near.
The fuel of the native land grants them courage, no fear.
It's here now, they're ready, they kneel at sunset's gate.
In the sun-drenched desert, the Devils' gridiron awaits.
Sun Devil football starts NOW.

Unless of course you're in the espn broadcasting area, because here's a suckass Big Televen game running long. I hope you got the sports pack with your cable, because you'll need FCS Central (Comcast 724) to se the start of the big game.

In case you've ever wondered what's up with that little speel they run before the sparky bus-crushing intro video, many of the lines are taken from ASU's alma mater, a song fewer than thre percent of ASU students/alumni actually know.

Where The Bold Saguaros
Raise Their Arms On High
Praying Strength For Brave Tomorrows
From The Western Sky
Where Eternal Mountains
Kneel At Sunset's Gate
Here We Hail Thee, Alma Mater
Arizona State!

Game of the century of the week

2007-11-01T15:47:00.000-07:00

First off, here's the google ad for an email I received regarding the game:

"rubber ducky baby shower"- I can't write shit like that.

That's cute and all, but everything else going on has been all about the mystery of Rudy's thumb. The Republic is playing tricks on all of us, with mismatching headlines on consecutice days. Notice:

Monday: Carpenter's Thumb in Question. Aaaaaaghnooooo!
Tuesday: Carpenter Expected to Play at Oregon. Hooray!
Wednesday: Sprain Limiting Carpenter. Arrrgh F@($*@^K!
Thursday: Carpenter Throws Well in Practice. Yippee!

Seems to me that Rudy is probable for Saturday and it will be a game time decision. If his sprained thumb is anything like the sprained thumb I sustained last spring, he'll barely be able to hold a beer. Granted, he had 186-pound Keegan Herring run full-force into it and I had 300 pounds of drunken fury fall on it while chasing a whiffleball. Yeah I got an injury playing whiffleball. Shut up.

It's not like we haven't seen this hand/thumb business before. Sam Keller (remember when he played at ASU?) bruised his thumb on a USC player's helmet in 2005 and then tried to stiff-arm Oregon's Haloti Ngata the following week. He played through pain to lose to USC, Oregon, and Stanford in consecutive weeks before Carpenter took over in the 4th quarter against Stanford. Rudy broke his throwing hand in ptractice just days before making the trip to Colorado last year but beat the Buffs 21-3. The following week his non-throwing hand was stepped on and broken in Berkeley against Cal, and the Devils dropped three in a row on the two broken hands of Carpenter. Slumpbuster Stanford came to town to stop the slide, thank goodness.

It could be the news about the thumb and it might just be the partiality of fans, but ASU is getting their asses handed to them in AZSportsHub's poll of who will win the clash of conference titans this Saturday. As of 8:00 EST Thursday it's looking all too much like last year's game, so go be a Terry Richardson and vote now.

The Sun Devil bandwagon has arrived at the station. All aboard!

* Chris Fowler likes the defensive end tandem of Luis Vasquez and Dexter Davis to use their athletic ability and help contain Duck QB Dennis Dixon. Fowler also feels that there will be moe defense in Eugene than most are expecting.

* Mark May listed Thomas Weber as one of three players nationally to be in the rarified air of "On the Mark." He also likes LB Travis Goethel, despite mispronouncing his name.

* Lou Holtz likes our chances because it's hard for a team to get up for a huge game two weeks in a row, citing Oregon's win over USC a week ago. May kindly reminded him that ASU-Cal was of decent size as well.

* Every single media outlet is slurping Dennis Erickson like a Shane's World film, including this one.

* There's still some room on the wagon though, as Lou Holtz gave his weekly pep talk to a Navy team that faces Notre Dame this weekend. Unless you spent time afloat or you're Catholic, I don't see how this game matters. I'm quite confident that the protestant, atheist, Muslim, Hindi, Buddhist, Jianist, Zoroastrian, and Jewish communities will be paying more attention to the ASU-Oregon game. Just a hunch, though.

Looking good so far

2007-10-28T23:51:00.000-07:00

This many wins! Yaaaay!

Want my reasons why ASU will beat Oregon this weekend? Eh, who has time? I'll say the top three deciding factors will be maximizing time of possession to keep the ball away from Dixon & Co., minimizing turnovers while creating a few for Oregon, and eliminating penalties, as Oregon only had one for five yards against USC.

Honestly, I think it's coin flip; their offense is marginally better than ours and our defense is marginally better than theirs. ASU's speed at linebacker needs to contain the run and force Dixon to beat them with his arm. Oregon is 81st nationally against the pass and the Duck D is prone to giving up yardage chunks through the air, especially with a tandem like Herring and Nance ripping off big gains. ASU hasn't seen an offense with the balance and potency of ASU's, and the Sun Devils haven't seen an offense like Oregon in years (not counting the 2005 ASU offense).

ASU has won two straight at Autzen, including upsetting the #6 Ducks 45-42. Revenge is a bitch, see last year's asswhipping. It may come down to a kick and like the Sun Devils, freshman Thomas Weber is undefeated at 15 makes and zero misses.

It won't take a perfect game to beat Oregon, but a full four quarters would be nice.

Here's where I've been wasting my valuable blogging time, composing my top 10 reasons this ASU team eerily resembles the 1996 Pac-10 Champion counterpart.

10) Speed and depth at linebacker.

4) A mobile quarterback who lacks outstanding numbers but exudes leadership and manages games well.

8) A deep and solid receiving corps led by a senior sporting #3.

9) A stable of talented running backs.

A victory over a Big XII North team.

6) A handful of comebacks.

5) Students rushed the field after a victory against Cal.

3) A stud starting running back is out for the season with an injury.

2) A senior-laden offensive line.

1) An undefeated Sun Devil team!

Watch me.

And me. Draw your own conclusions.

Rolling on Shabbas

2007-10-21T18:57:00.000-07:00

It's fuzzy but it's fo' real!

ASU is fourth in the BCS for doing nothing more this week than sippin' on purple drank and scroggin' bitches during their bye week. During undergrad I lived across the street from a few footballers just off of Hardy Drive. On bye week Saturday they went around to all of the houses in the immediate vicinity and let us know that they were having a party and politely asked that we speak to them and not the police regarding any noise complaints. It was one of those ridiculous parties like you see in the movies with extraordinarily hot ladies and gigantic muscle-filled gentlemen stumbling and vomiting on the front lawn. They didn't invite us, oh by the way.

So what did you do for your bye week?

Sometimes you wake up with the urge to do something superbly stupid, like buying a case of everclear and looking up your old fraternity brother who just got moved from an ATF watch list to a work-release program. While I'm not that crazy (because that guy really exists in real life) I did manage to create a similarly self-destructive scenario by teaming up with an Arkansas alum and showing the local Seminoles how to party by arriving on campus at 3 a.m. and throwing a 24 hour tailgate. No hangover today but the legs are sore after standing for nearly 28 hours, including one of the better football games I've ever witnessed. Too bad for you it was regionally televised, because it was a doozy. Miami fans are the worst group of people since the fall of the third reich, and they make U of A fans look like the service staff at your local Ritz-Carlton. To top it all off, none of them even went to school there.

Cal's loss at UCLA may hurt ASU's strength of schedule, but the Bears will come rolling in to town on Saturday playing like a wounded animal. ASU will have a target on it's back and he nation's eyes will be on Tempe, seeing if this supposed paper tiger can really play against a good team. The defense will have its' hands full with a recovered Nate Longshore, DeSean Jackson, and Justin Forsett. Saturday would be a good time for this team to come out firing and play all four quarters. We shall see.

And finally, former ASU baseballer Dustin Pedroia had plenty of fun after his Red Sox clinched the ALDS (picture from loljocks.blogspot.com).

Noooooo!

2007-10-18T15:33:00.000-07:00

Shit shit shit shit fuck. I don't even want to talk about it right now.

Ryan Torain is lost for the season.

OCHO!

2007-10-14T15:12:00.000-07:00

ASU is ranked 8th in the first BCS poll, trailing 7th place Kentucky by a few ten-thousandths of a percentage point. If Ohio State loses and everything else holds up pitting USF against Boston College in the MNC game, I might have to give up college football all together. I hear bull riding is all the rage, though. Does ASU have a team?

Even if ASU were to win out (cart before the horse, I know) could they get Auburned and be left out of the championship game? Looking at the teams ahead, I'd say there's a strong possibility.

Oklahoma will most likely win out, with their biggest stumbling block being their instate rival OSU Cowboys. Thanks to the overall weakness of the Big XII, the Sun Devils ought to be able to leapfrog them with Cal, Oregon, and USC all in the top 12, giving ASU strength of schedule bumps along the way. The same scenario goes for the lackluster ACC (Boston College) and Big East (USF).

Ohio State's schedule thus far has been about as tough as ASU's (if that) but their last five games area against the top half if the Big Televen in Michigan State, Penn State, Wisconsin, Illinois, and Michigan. The final four have been in and out of the polls in the last few weeks, with Penn State and Michigan looking to climb again after each of them turned in their best performances of the season this past Saturday. Still, a loss to any of them ought to bounce them from the Superdome, even if Michigan wins out. The problem here is that if UM does run the table, they're Big Ten Champs and Ohio State most likely steals an at large BCS bid.

The SEC teams are a different animal. Kentucky, Sakerlina, and LSU already have one loss apiece and are still ahead of ASU. It's foreseeable for each of them to lose another game, but if one of them runs the table the SEC strength of schedule will almost undoubtedly keep one of them at one or two should the teams ahead of them lose at some point. Also consider the SOS bump they get from playing in the SEC championship game, and ASU could be on the outside looking in.

And what if ASU doesn't run the table, as they most likely won't? (just talking statistically, don't crucify me) A loss to Cal, Oregon, or USC would allow any one of those teams to leap the Devils in the standings, and historically the BCS computer isn't very keen on putting two Pac-10 teams in the BCS. This bumps a hypothetical 11-1 ASU team to the Holiday Bowl asuming the conference team that beat us doesn't go to the MNC game. The Pac-10 bowl agreements suck, but that's a topic for another day.

The bottom line: no one has control of any of this, so the Sun Devils have to get out and take care of business. They control their own destiny in terms of the Rose Bowl, and that's all they can worry about for now. Should things shake out and a trip to New Orleans comes our way that's gravy, but we can only concern ourselves with what we can control.

Liveblog, Part III: gametime, motherfuckers!

2007-10-13T19:10:00.000-07:00

10:18: CAL is on the ropes against OSU and Cincinnati is getting all they can handle (down by 4) from Louisville, two teams that have made their reputations by folding late in games. If both lose and ASU holds on, they will be one of seven remaining undefeated teams. Woah Nelly!

10:25: ASU wins the toss and will receive!

10:33: Devils on the move, going for it on 4th and 3. Big hairy balls, DE! Looks like Cal's Cinderella clock is about to strike midnight. I hate Ohio State.

10:34: might be wrong about Cal...

10:39: Poor clock management stikes! Cal throws over the middle of the field with less than 10 seconds remaining and no timeouts, not unlike when ASU beat Oregon State in 2002.

ASU had a TD called back, then took a sack, and will settle for a field goal. 3-0 Devils!

10:48: VICIOUS hit on Locker by Travis Goethel, but it'll cost him 15 yards. Here comes all the trash about how dirty Erickson teams are blah blah yadda.

10:51: Cincy loses, and then there were six. FUCK TD Washington.

11:04: Jovon Williams is a fucking asshole. Carpenter puts a 20+ yard pass right in his breadbasket and he can't hold on. Heal up quick Brent Miller!

11:12: all the replay challenges are slowing the game to a crawl. Getting it right is nice, but come on. Let's go!

11:14: I think it's safe to say my circle of friends is a key factor in Keystone Light's sponsorship of ASU football.

11:17: I'd do Lisa Love because power is attractive. She's doing a wonderful job politicking in a sideline interview.

11:25: Chris McGaha was a slam dunk champion in High school according to Petros Papadakis. Who's the "possession receiver" now? Apparently Kyle WIlliams is, TOUCHDOWN DEVILS! ASU is is playing with a confidence- not a swagger, mind you- that I havn't seen since the Pat Tillman days. They are playing like a team that will not be denied, that refuses to lose. This is getting fun, even though it's a long way from being over.

11:30: Ryan Torain on crutches makes me sad, and so does that goddamn long run by Louis Rankin. Feck.

11:34: Watchin Omar Bolden play DB reminds me of watching a young RJ Oliver. There's talent therre but when the ball goes up to that side of the field there's a big 'oh fuck!' followed by a loud 'I hate you RJ!' After a year or two, he becomes a favorite. It's like magic.
David Blaine will hold his breath until Omar Bolden becomes a solid corner.

11:46: where the fuck is Keegan Herring? Rudy is doing a good job of getting rid of the ball quickly and hitting the short routes. That will keep the blitzes and sacks down.

11:50: There's Keegan with a 20 yard run! Piss poor clock management, and Carpenter took a shoulder to the balls and a halmet to the face. Good effort, but spike the ball on 1st down for cryin' out loud. Replay gets us a field goal, 17-13 at the half. ASU playing well on offense, questionable on defense, and the breaks are about even.
Spike the ball on 1st down and don't throw into double coverage you big dummy!

12:20: Torain's out with the foot, Mike Jones is out with a concussion. Oooohhhhh shiite.

12:28: d-line causes a sack/fumble that leads to 7! A mobile quarterback on an undefeated team throwing a touchdown pass to #3 who makes a beautiful catch... just sayin'.

It's a thing of beauty.

12:35: You know what one of my peeves about the Koetter regime was? It always seemed like the other team made second half adjustments but we never did. That has all changed, as the Devil D creates another three and out.

12:47: DMITRI NANCE! He sat the bench for three years in high school and then finished second in the history of Texas high school football in terms of single season rushing. Defense has tightened the clamps and the UW offense looks like a completely sifferent team.

12:57: KEEGAN HERRING! Does ASU have the deepest backfield in the pac-10? Here's a memory, Keegan must hate the shit out of the Huskies.

1:09: I think the Defense might be a little tired after the quick strike scores. It's the curse of the Koetter offense!

1:13: ASU probably won't crack the top 10 tomorrow if they hold on for the win, which is total bullshit. Play the strength of schedule card all you want, but Boston College's best win was against Georgia Tech. Horsepoopy.

Liveblog, Act II: the Schadenfraude hour

2007-10-13T13:01:00.000-07:00

4:02: After a lunch break and a fight with the internet feed, there's been buffoonery abound. Lou Holtz compared Nebraska to Enron (everything's fine here!) and the Saunders, James, Flutie studio team pontificated Sylvester Croom- yes, the Mississippi State coach- for a seven point lead in the first quarter, proclaiming that while MSU has been "a place for coaches to go to die" Croom has "rebuilt the program there." Add to that, Bama and Ole Miss are playing hot potato with the victory in Oxford, as no one seems to want it at all. A well played first half has turned into a turnover-a-thon.

4:10: I have regional coverage and can't watch USC dismantle Arizona, so any updates folks can send me are much appreciated. Coach Stoops ought to be on the hot seat by now, so think of some solid replacements for him.

Here's a few ideas for the next head man in Tucson:

Inanimate Carbon Rod

Barney Fife
Dennis Franchione

President Skroob
The incumbent
Stoops will be gone one day, and I will miss him.

4:47 Who the hell does Penn State think they are? The team they were predicted to be, it seems, as they are leading #19 Wisconsin 24-7. I guess road rage and sexual assault is how you motivate a team. Paging Fright Night Freedman...

5:10: For fuck's sake USC, 10-10 at the half? Buck up you bunch of bitches! Someone brought up the idea of rooting against the Trojans considering the end-of-season bowl implications, but ASU holds it's own destiny at this point so don't sell your soul for roses.

5:36: Kentucky's band is playing Bohemian Rhapsody. Sweeeet.

6:30: Raghib Ismail's sideline interview was... provocative. He proclaimed that at the end of the day the Notre Dame nation would be proud of the product on the field WHAT!!! In addition, when asked what he had been up to since retiring from football, he replied (paraphrasing) "jack shit, y'all. WHAT!!!" He's also a motivational speaker. USC is up again yay!

6:46: The sideline cheesecake in Happy Valley needs to know one thing: don't poke the old Italian zombie bear. And I quote: "How did I know he wasn't going to answer that? Tee hee!" He committed road rage this week for Chrissakes, insert your own Italian mobster stereotype joke.

6:57: Schadenfraude successful! Trojans 20, pedophile nunkillers 13. I even got to watch the last Arizona "drive." It was glorious.

7:41 Holy shitballs, Oregon State is up 7-0 at Cal, but we've seen that type of thing before. The 3:30 games werea little sleepybut they sure are ending in a flurry. LSU-Kentucky in OT, UNC giving the Cocks a scare, and U of A actually had a shot. When I die, I'll know I'm in hell if there are no Saturdays in the fall.

7:51: Some asshat from Missourah just tried to hurdle two Oklahoma defenders. BAD IDEA. Look for it on youtube tomorrow.

7:58: A delay of game on third and goal from the two in triple OT? that type of thing will give Rich Brooks the gout, but apparently it's all moot now. TD Kentucky, but Brooks still thinks it's total bullshit.

8:02: Yeesh, the sideline cheesecake at the Vandy-Georgia game isn't very cheesy or cakey. She looks like she could be Pam Ward's bulldike sister. Ah, and Kentucky pulls it out. A full set of teeth just rushed the field.

8:07: Just switched to the Oregon State-Cal game to see the crowd reaction when they announce the LSU loss... and still waiting as VS. goes to commercial. ASU's homecoming matchup with the Bears in two weeks is starting to look verrry sexy.

8:13: Mmmmm, Hawaiian tailgate at Cal. I should have been a liberal English major.

9:01: Mark Richt was on the FSU coaching staff for many years, he looks loike a Bowden, and he even walks the sidelines like a Bowden. I think Mrs. Richt has some explaining to do, as Georgia survives a scare from Vandy.

9:10: Oregon State is looking good on adrive to open the second half. Maybe they won't shit the second half bed again.

9:29: A goal line stand by the Beavers? Did that just really Happen? I thought no one plays defense in the Pac-10. Cal needs to get their shit together, if for no other reason than keeping Ohio State out of the #1 slot.

10:09: This is traditionally Auburn's style, but WTF happened to Arkansas' offense? Their gazelle WR Monk was a big loss, but jeez, a team that boasts two of the best running backs in the country ought to be able to put up more than zero points.

...and Oregon State goes up by 10 after converting a fourth and goal, a two-point conversion, and a recovered fumble on the ensuing kickoff. This will be a fight for Cal without Longshore.

Liveblog, Act I: smellin' what the rock is cookin'.

2007-10-13T09:40:00.000-07:00

12:41: Enough already, Dwayne. I'm still smelling my breakfast, two unfertilized chicken zygotes and batter-dipped liberty squares.

1:02: After a slow start I finally have both tv's set up in the living room, straight Phil Steele style. I'm watching Bama-Ole Miss on one and GA Tech-Miami on the other, with VA Tech-Duke and Iowa-Illinois on the back buttons. To hell with Texas, Iowa State, Lehigh and Yale. Oh by the way, if you don't get the Lincoln Financial Sports Network, move further South and East. It's the bee's knees.

1:05: I had the sound down on Miami- what the fuck was Erin Andrews eating? I really hope this isn't a new trend in CFB broadcasting, especially after the Primanti Brothers debacle during Thursday's Pitt-Navy game. The only thing more incomprehensible than Lou Holtz is Lou Holtz with a mouth full of sammich.

1:15: For those that don't know, that stork of a mascot at Miami is Sebastian the Ibis. The ibis is a bird that is the last creature to leave a hurricane-inflicted area and the first to return. How sweet. I fucking hate the name Sebastian for anyone born in the western hemisphere. The only ones I can think of are that kid from the Neverending Story and C-Bass from Dumb and Dumber- I assume their full names are Sebastian, and the writers changed them to make them a bit less pussified. Come to think of it, Bastian was a wuss anyway. Into the dumpster, sallypants!
The Polish Powderkeg doesn't count for geographical reasons.

1:28: Flippin' sweet! Now that the Dukies are being put in their rightful place, I switched to ISU-Texas and the first play was a reverse WR pass back to the QB, BYAAAAHHHH! Iowa State is just like USC with tha color scheme and... and... they're nothing like USC. BYAAAAAHHH!

1:45: For you 2-a-days fans, Alabama QB John Parker Wilson went to Hoover High School, as did many members of the Tide. That explains the Bama bangs, for sure.

1:59: Ooooooo, Okie State's up 28 and Sam Keller is playing for a team that has no defense or special teams. Who would have thought?

2:07: Michigan's starting to look like they're supposed to, FINALLY. Now that's a sleeping giant. Halftimes are starting to creep in, so here's some funny shit to keep you occupied.

2:52: Georgia Tech has played in ten straight bowl games? Really? How that program has survived Reggie Ball is beyond me. Without Calvin Johnson, his career completion percentage probably hovers around 35%. Ball's brother Marcus plays for Florida State, but do you think they let him anywher near the football? Hell no, he's a DB.

Time to catch up

2007-10-13T00:22:00.000-07:00

Like this, with tv.

No tailgates. No out-of-town visitors. No calls from work. This will be the first lazy at-home Saturday of football watching in over a month, and a full day of football begets a full day of digital scribbling. I'll run a liveblog all the live long day, starting around noon EST and running until the end of the ASU game. Since I'm stuck with regional action I'll need schadenfraude updates from the UA-USC game so stop by early and often. But first, a few things to ponder regarding tonight's matchup with the Huskies.

Last week's game against WSU was far and away ASU's worst of the season, as the Cougs held a 451-296 yard edge in total offense and ~~Jason Gesser~~ Alex Brink had his way with the ASU secondary with 369 passing yards. Look for the Devils to rebound after their piss-poor showing on the Palouse with a ton of energy and excitement, especially back in fornt of the home crowd, which is projected to be a lowly 62,000. Still plenty of room on that bandwagon, unfortunately.

Washington QB Jake Locker is for real, but he's not yet Alex Brink in terms of passing ability and his receiving corps has a way to go before they get in the company of Bumpus, Gibson, et. al. The Sun Devil defense's weak link is definitely the weak side corner, manned by Baloney and Bolden. If Locker is able to pick on that duo and complete a few deep passes early it could open up an otherwise inept Husky rushing attack and make for a long night in Tempe. Locker's main weapon thus far has been his mobility, both while escaping pass rushes and through designed draws. Even though he's not tipping his hand, expect Coach Erickson to employ a spy on Locker, most likely the speedy and hard-hitting Robert James.

Eh, pass blocking. It has been the bane of the ASU offense all season, and they'll face a tsunami of blitzes once again until they start to make teams pay for doing so with hot routes, quick slants, shovel passes, etc. I wuld like to think the ASU staff has thought of this too, but perhaps they're saving it for a stronger opponent? One can only hope. ASU held a 9+ minute advantage in time of possession against Wazzu, and it really showed on the last two ASU drives as Ryan Torain had gaping, truck-sized holes through which he could run. It will peobably be pass to set up the run once again, but when called upon the run blocking has been superb.

I'm more nervous than usual about this one. UW has dropped three in a row against top-notch comeptition and is looking for the opportunity to break out with a statement game. ASU is 6-0 because they've been letting other teams beat themselves through penalties and turnovers, but the Huskies commit the fewest turnovers in the Pac-10 and they boast a conservative, run-heavy offense that will keep turnovers low. ASU needs to make an attention-grabbing statement of their own after shitting the bed in the first game the east-coast sleepyheads were able to watch. The Huskies have played tough in the first half of all of their games but have let opportunities slip away as teams make second-half adjustments. This is tailor-made for ASU, and look for them to pull away in the second half.

Let's go Cubbies!

2007-10-04T13:06:00.000-07:00

Andre Dawson, a man among boys.

Despite my personal allegiances, it's in the best interest of Sun Devil football to root for an early exit for the hometown Diamondbacks. 48,864 Valley bandwagon jumpers sold out Chase Field for last night's game one, a disappointing loss for the Cubbies, despite an average 2006 attendance of 25,821.* It should be abundantly clear that we want to see 71,106 cheer on the Devils, and if we are to do so these are the people we need to attract. Our student and alumni population garners about 50,000 per game on Saturday nights, but if these numbers are to climb then local fans will have to make up the difference.

As the entertainment dollar gets stretched by the numerous sports options in the area, a playoff baseball team does nothing to fill the upper deck of Sun Devil Stadium. So let's go Cubbies, we'll take whatever fans we can get, especially since the bandwagon is going to fill up quickly as the Devils continue to rise in the polls.

* 2007 numbers were not easily available. Do your own fucking research.

Uhhhh....wha?

2007-10-02T18:36:00.000-07:00

Everyone wants to be a superlative. Remember in high school when folks were proud of having their picture in the yearbook for class clown, cutest couple, and the like? Washington State coach Bill Doba apparently has his eye on "dumbest fucking coach on the planet." Dennis Franchione is taking poor coaching to another level by displaying ineffectiveness off the field, so Doba has also decided to step his game up because by golly, he wants to be remembered at the ten year reunion too. Come on down Bill, you savant: “Arizona, I said … is the second- or third-best team in the conference. I still hold true to that,” Doba said. “They are talented – I think more than the team we’re facing this week [ASU].”
That's right, we're playing them this week. Bulletin board, anyone? In case you've been hiding in a deep hole, Arizona State is 5-0 and ranked 18th nationally. UA beat Washington State last week, and proud we are of all of them, but it was their first victory over a D1 opponent this season. This isn't just a pot shot at ASU either, Doba's insinuating that Arizona is better than Cal and/or Oregon as well.

Arizona is currently 1-3 against real teams, and don't give me that Appalachian State any given Saturday crap. With the exception of Cal the cats weren't playing the titans of the game either, posting losses to New Mexico in Tucson and at BYU.

Stupidity is punishible by many forms- pain, financial burden, or even a coaching stint in Jacksonville- but here's my suggestion for ASU to even the score, because being compared to Arizona football is an insult. I recommend the following final score on Saturday, photo style:

ASU

Wazzu

Take ASU, and the over. The spread is hovering around 9 if you feel like getting rich.

The O-line is not the issue here, dude.

2007-10-01T16:21:00.000-07:00

Photo stolen from 4VRADVL.com

The recently maligned Hell Hogs have taken a lot of flack for the abuse Rudy Carpenter has taken this season, but after rewatching the ASU-Stanford game they deserve less badmouthing than they're getting.

Carpenter was sacked five times in the first half, and two of them came by blitzing Cardinal players that Ryan Torain was in charge of stopping. Torain has been an incredible back this year, but blocking appears to be his weakness. Pass blocking, like basketball defense, is played with the feet and Torain tends to lean out rather than shuffle his feet and move laterally when a pass rusher makes a move to the outside. This affects his leverage, which is key in blocking, not to mention football in general. Torain's leverage is also compromised because of a high pad level, which is a common criticism of his running style. Get low and drive up: it's very basic, leverage 101. DE Dexter Davis' solid play has been attributed to his high school wrestling career and the skills he gained by throwing people around. But enough of throwing one of ASU's best players uder the bus.

Ok, we'll do it a little more. Two of the first half sacks came from blitzing Cardinal players that weren't blocked at all. There's a couple of issues at hand here, and one is very easy: there simply weren't enough bodies to block everyone. This falls on Carpenter for (not) reading the blitz and making an adjustment in the form of a hot route, audible, etc. Carpenter admitted in post game interviews that Stanford blitzed the bejeezus out of him all night, creating confusion for the junior signal caller. The other issue could be that Carpenter is picking up the blitz and making the call but Torain either isn't getting the signal or he's misinterpreting it.

The fifth sack of the first half was a speed rush off the end and the tackle got beat, but these types of things happen sometimes. We can't all be Randall McDaniel.

Still think they're not up too snuff? Well they run block too, and Ryan Torain and Keegan Herring are averaging 5.4 and 6.2 yards per carry, respectively, for an average of 5.7 per carry in meaningful time. That's how Phil Steele judges O-lines, and if he says it then it's gotta be true. Dmitri Nance has been no slouch in mop up time, but since most of the haters are targeting the starters, that's where I looked.

It's still hard to complain. Here ASU sits at 5-0 and ranked 18th nationally, and the offense just dropped 34 points despite several red zone farts. The boys are beating teams soundly and gaining confidence in one another which can only lead to good things. Wazzu's up next, and any team that allows Dizzy Tuitama to throw six TD's (in one night!) shouldn't be that big of a challenge.

The Empire Strikes Back

2007-09-29T12:49:00.000-07:00

You.

Fucking.

Shitbags.

Despite the complete lack of posts this week I'm still alive, but I'm not sure if that's worth a shit right now. The nun-killing pedophiles at espn have apparently started hating me back, because it's not enough to just NOT air the best game in the country in my region. Oh no, you have to spend two Goddamn hours in front of Autzen, then don't tell the local cable mafia which game will air, and then give me Clemson-Georgia Tech one one channel and Wisconsin-Michigan State on the other. Have you watched any Wisconsin games this year? It's like watching old people fuck. You have something like 20 channels, and one of them is showing cars going in circles while there's sweet, sweet football being played all over this glorious country. A tease of this magnitude is the equivalent of waving a gravy-covered chicken fried steak in front of Charlie Weis, and eventually you're going to lose a limb.

And another thing, all of the games you've aired so far have totally sucked- that's on you too, because an evil empire that's as big as yours should have influence on things like the tides and the actions of men. Even the games on the other channels have sucked so far and that may as well be your bad too, you fucking fuckbags. You know what else is your fault? The horde of trees to the south of my property preventing me from getting satellite TV service, forcing me to go to Corporate McCarpetbagger's Sports Bar and pay $7.50 for a pint of Miller Lite. Ever tried that polock piss? I use it to clean drains.

ASU's on Fox tonight, suckas. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, you bunch of puppy kickers.

Beavers get Licked

2007-09-22T23:12:00.000-07:00

Peace!

Ahem. I couldn’t help but notice this little article from some website called house of heat or something of that ilk. To wit:

9/22, Oregon State: Nobody in Corvallis realizes how much they're going to miss departed QB Matt Moore. He was the heart and soul of the team that beat USC and I don't expect them to be in fighting shape by week four.

At this time I’d like to toot my own horn and point out that I totally called this game... in July. Did they miss Moore? Fuckin’ A right they did, to the tune of FIVE interceptions and a few more almost-picks. Oregon State got away from their gameplan after the Devil D stopped RB Yvenson Bernard a few times and Canfield started churning out interceptions like free candy flowing from a van without windows.

After getting down 19-0 in the blink of an eye, there was absolutely no quit in the Sun Devils- not on offense, defense, or special teams. Kudos, I guess, to the new coaching staff for instilling a mental toughness in this team that was not there a year ago. Last year’s game at Oregon State didn’t start all that differently than this one did, but chins were up this time and the Sun Devils simply executed. How did they do it? In the words of Rudy Carpenter in an on-field post-game interview, “I don’t fuckin’ know.” Well said Rudy, and the mainstream folks will have to deal with a little pottymouth since you went 25-36 for 361 passing yards and four TDs.

Saturday’s game against Oregon State was a lesson for the Sun Devils. They are human and can get punched in the mouth by anyone, but just the same they can get back up and whip anyone up and down the field. Were the six OSU turnovers the difference? Absolutely, but that helped offset the 19 point 1st quarter donation to the Beavers. Stanford gave Oregon a serious scare before the Ducks pulled away, and they seem just as capable of upsetting an athletically superior ASU as they did two years ago on the Farm when Sam Keller tried to play through injuries, and poorly.

The to-do list for next week’s game at Stanford begins with being ready to go when the game starts.

More than you ever cared to know about: The Oregon State Beavers

2007-09-19T19:59:00.000-07:00

The Vitals
Name: Oregon State University
Location: Corvallis, OR
Established: 1858
Enrollment: 19,362
Motto: Open Minds, Open Doors
Colors: Orange and Black
Mascot: Benny the Beaver
Stadium: Reser Stadium, capacity 46,000
Conference: Pac-10

While the school was founded as a prep school (Corvallis Academy) in 1858, it didn’t add college classes until 1865 and the first degrees were issued five years later in 1870, so it seems that Oregonians have been smoking weed and slacking off since the beginning of time (not that I have room to poke fun at folks for taking over four years to graduate). The campus was designed by Frederick Law Olmstead, the father of modern landscape architecture, to showcase the local trees and brick structures.

Nature, nature, nature. Do those people care about anything other than trees? You too can become a Master Gardener at Oregon State. OSU’s College of Forestry is also a consensus #1 in the nation as well. The school has roots (no pun intended) as an agricultural institution and it’s a land grant school, so I guess it’s to be expected. We can all thank the Ag program for developing the Maraschino cherry in 1924, for without them our Manhattans would be naked.

The feather in the Beavers’ academic cap is that they are one of only two schools in the nation to possess research grants in land, sea, sun, and space. Just think, if they add a research grant for Milla Jovovich they can surpass Cornell and have all five elements!

Notable Alumni
Heh heh, Beavers. Say no more, as OSU graduated TWO Playboy PMOY’s, Jodi Paterson (1998) and Sara Underwood (2006).

No available pictures of Jodi Paterson could be deemed safe for work. Find your own porn, you perv.

Some other folks too:
Douglas Englebart, inventor of the computer mouse
Pinto Colvig, the original Bozo the Clown
Leonard Shoen, founder of U-Haul
Dick Fosbury, 1968 Olympic gold medalist and inventor of the Fosbury Flop
Rich Brooks, former Oregon Duck and current Kentucky Wildcat head coach
Brent Barry, white boy dunk champ
Rick Barry, his dad and NBA hall-of-famer
Gary Payton, loud-mouthed basketball player
AC Green, born-again virgin and former LA Laker
Chad Johnson
TJ Hooshmazoo
Steven Jackson
Lots of other football players in the NFL recruited to OSU by Dennis Erickson

Traditions
Other than wearing orange, mocking the Ducks’ uniforms, and making "beaver" jokes, this was surprisingly difficult to find any information. I met a few OSU undergrads in 2000 when some fraternity brothers crashed at our house for the Fiesta Bowl. They all wore shirts showing a tapped keg with the words "a drinking team with a football problem." They said that anything over 6-6 is a bonus and that they only have fun with athletics, never expecting much.

Who's making fun of whom now?

Athletics
Beaver athletics were a lot of doom and gloom for most of the 20th century, but the arrival of vagabond coach Dennis Erickson changed all of that. In 2000 the Beavs went 11-1, including a 41-9 thrashing of Notre Dame in the Fiesta Bowl and a final national ranking of fourth. Before Erickson's arrival OSU had not been to a bowl game in 28 years. Although DE's stay was short, his tenure was a springboard as OSU football has seen four bowl games in the last five seasons, including last season's Sun Bowl victory over Missouri. Current head coach Mike Riley was also the head coach before Erickson's arrival, and his biggest career win would have to be upsetting USC last season.

OSU has also managed to put together a powerful baseball program that has claimed the last two National Championships. Even though Arzona State won the Pac-10 regular season championship, Oregon State got hot in the NCAA tournament and peaked to win the COllege World Series for the second year in a row. The school only has three National Championships in it's history, with the third coming in Cross Country in 1961.

Rivalries
Like everyone else in the Pac-10, the Beavers have a natural rivalry with the University of Oregon referred to as the Civil War. The Ducks lead the football rivalry 55-45-10 (10 ties! Jesus!) and while one might think the Ducks would possess recent dominance, they've split the last ten matchups with the Beavs and the home team has won all of them. In a Benedict Arnold fashion, Oregon State alum Rich Brooks is commonly credited with bringing the Oregon Duck football program to prominence with a series of NFL quarterback busts at the helm.

Head to Head
Not too many of these things have been close in recent years with the exception of the 2002 game when Terrell Suggs single-handedly beat the Beavers in a 13-9 defensive fight. Outside of that slugfest, the average margin of victory has been close to 23, with the two teams splitting the last four games. Overall OSU has been Sparky’s bitch as ASU leads the all-time series 23-9-1, but it was the other way around last season as the Beavers dismantled the Devils 44-10 in a rain-soaked afternoon in Corvallis. Expect revenge to be on the minds of the Sun Devils on Saturday after suffering such an embarrassing loss a year ago. ASU safety Jeremy Payton will face off against his brother Bryn, who plays safety for OSU.

Phil Steele Says…
Last year was OSU's second best in school history, but there will be a drop off in play losing QB Matt Moore and SS Sabby Piscatelli but the season should be successful and the Beavers should go bowling again. The home team is 6-1 in the last seven matchups.

I Say…
A staunch defense loses All-Conference Safety Sabby Piscatelli but they return almost everyone else and they’ll be a physical, tough bunch, especially since they possess good depth on the front seven and stay fresh by continuously rotating players. Even without Piscatelli, the Beaver secondary won’t drop off much as their corners are seasoned vets that will want to take ASU’s young receivers to school. I’ve said it before, but Matt Moore was the cog that made last year’s Oregon State machine run, both emotionally and as a playmaker. Sean Canfield is getting a grasp of the offense and it wouldn’t surprise me if these Beavers finish on a tear as they did a year ago, but I don’t think they’re there just yet. Yvenson Bernard will be a beast on the ground, but if the Devils can avoid blowing coverages like they did against Colorado and SDSU it should be 4-0 for ASU.

Related Websites
Oregon State University
Wikipedia
OSUBeavers.com
Building the Dam

More than you ever cared to know about: the San Diego State Aztecs

2007-09-13T21:55:00.000-07:00

Not to be confused with UC-San Diego or the University of San Diego.

Moving stuff with your mind? That’s just crazy talk.

The Vitals
Name: San Diego State University
Location: San Diego, CA
Established: 1897, as San Diego Normal School
Enrollment: 34,500
Motto: “Minds That Move the World”
Colors: Scarlet and Black
Mascot: Monty (as in Montezuma) the Aztec Warrior
Stadium: Qualcomm Stadium, capacity 54,000
Conference: Mountain West

Considering the school is located on Montezuma Mesa in San Diego, which offers easy access to Mission Beach, the Gaslamp District, Pacific Beach, Tijuana, Stone Brewery, and what is possibly the greatest bar in the history of time(Lahaina’s in P.B.), I don’t know how they get anything done at SDSU. Even the weather is cooperative- the Aztecs have only played two home games in the rain since 1984. It’s no wonder that they received 57,167 admission applications for the upcoming fall semester, a school record and tops in California for 2007. With all of this going for them, they still sit 5th in Playboy’s party school rankings, two spots behind ASU. Bitches. As if all of that wasn't enough, the school has been the setting for Bring It On and Veronica Mars. Oooooo that's teh hotness!!!11!!1!!

Like ASU, SDSU started as a Normal School, then moved up to a Teacher’s College, then to a State College, and then became a State University (1970). In its humble beginnings as a Normal school, what is now SDSU was located upstairs from a downtown drug store. SDSU possesses a branch campus in Calexico, CA, which couldn’t be further from San Diego in terms of culture and nightlife. You know you’re in hell when you apply to SDSU and end up in Calexico. It’s like a smaller, less interesting, dirtier Tucson, which should speak volumes.

Notable Alumni
Julie Kavner, voice of Marge Simpson
Art Linkletter
Tony Gwynn
Mark Grace
Gregory Peck
Marshall Faulk
Vintage hottie Raquel Welch
Apollo motherfucking Creed!
Don “Air” Coryell
John Fox
Joe Gibbs
John Madden
Herm Edwards, seen here flipping the fuck out:

Tradition
People in the 1920s really had a sense of humor. Like many Western schools, SDSU faced naming issues after a school merger so they held a submission contest to solve the problem. Many alumni must be happy that “Aztecs” won out over such submissions as Staters, Professors, Wampus Cats(WTF?), Panthers, Balboans, and Thoroughbreds.

SDSU makes a special effort to play most of their games at night and they traditionally sport all-black home uniforms, but they were doing it way before Nike and the like were marketing to gangstas. The black uni’s were introduced in 1963 by head coach Don Coryell for an intimidation factor. Coryell is also credited with introducing the modern passing game to college football, and after great success with the “Air Coryell” offense at SDSU he was moderately successful with the NFL's St. Louis Cardinals and San Diego Chargers. Coryell will always be known for SDSU's glory years, where the Aztecs went 55-1-1 in a span between 1965 and 1970, including a 25-game win streak.

Athletics
In addition to Coryell, there’s really only two names to know here: Tony Gwynn and Marshall Faulk. Baseball Hall Of Famer Gwynn played both baseball and basketball for the Aztecs, and since retiring from Major League Baseball he has returned to his alma mater to coach the baseball team. SDSU plays their games at the on-campus Tony Gwynn Stadium, which has to be trippy for Tony. Marshall Faulk burst on to the college football scene in 1991 where, as a freshman, he ran for 386 yards and seven touchdowns IN ONE GAME against The University of the Pacific. He went on to do ok in the NFL, too.

Chuck Long is in his second year as head coach for the Aztecs. He went 3-9 in his first season and he’s a former Hayden Fry assistant. You know who else is? It’s amazing that SDSU has a problem getting a long-term coach considering the coaches they have produced. In addition to Coryell, there are three Aztec alums that have coached in the Super Bowl: John Madden(XI), Joe Gibbs(XVII, XVIII, XXII, XXVI), and John Fox(XXXVIII). Herm Edwards went there too.

Rivalries
They don’t seem to really have any, at least as far as football goes. Out of all of their opponents they’ve faced Fresno State the most (50 times, 26-20-4 all-time) but the two teams haven’t seen each other since 2002. It seems that since SDSC converted to a University in 1970, they left their small college rivals (26-8-1 against UC-Santa Barbara) behind for larger schools with better programs. The Aztecs are 0-20-1 against UCLA, so at least you know they hate somebody with a bloody passion.

Head to Head
The last time ASU played against San Diego State, they went down 22-0 to the Aztecs early in the first half when head coach Dirk Koetter pulled starting quarterback Chad Christensen for the relatively unknown Andrew Walter. A-Dub threw four touchdowns in the Sun Devils’ 39-28 victory, including TD’s on each of his first two passes en route to the school record for career passing yards and touchdowns. Arizona State leads the all-time series 9-0-1 outscoring the Aztecs 352-88, however SDSU gave the Devils a big scare in the 2000 season opener but shanked a field goal in the waning moments allowing ASU to escape with a 10-7 win. Thanks for shaving years off of my life, Jeff Krohn!

Phil Steele Says…
The Aztecs have had a bad run of things. They lost 32 starts due to injury in Chuck Long’s first year as coach, including their top two quarterbacks, but they have nine starters returning on offense. They lost 3 games by a total of 12 points, and they didn’t have their top quarterback or running back for most of the year, leading to a weak-ass 16.3 points per game in 2006. They’re usually talented since they’re located in a great recruiting area but the whole never seems to equal the sum of the parts. (sound familiar?) Even though they’ll be better, they probably won’t be in contention for a bowl until 2008.

I Say…
After watching some youtube highlights, SDSU looks like they have some playmaking wideouts that could cause fits for the weak Sun Devil secondary. The Aztecs only have four returning defensive starters from a 3-9 team, which gives me confidence should a shootout occur. The three close games the Aztecs lost last year were to relative creampuffs and they rolled over against the tough teams they played. As long as ASU doesn’t look ahead to Oregon State, they shouldn’t have any problems with SDSU. The Aztecs have played one game so far, where they received a 45-17 thumping at the hands of Washington State.

Related Websites
The University’s official website
SDSU’s official athletics site
The Wikipedia page
The College Football Data Warehouse Page

Highlights galore

2007-09-09T15:26:00.000-07:00

SunDevilGridiron.com and youtube have provided us with two different highlight videos of last week's victory against San Jose State, each featuring a heaping helping of Sun Devil dance team cheesecake. Enjoy!

Uh, hooray?

2007-09-09T13:48:00.000-07:00

At least Troy Nolan is excited.

Meh. For the second year in a row Arizona State stays undefeated in OOC play by defeating a hapless Colorado team in lackluster fashion. Rudy Carpenter threw a pick-6 in the opening series and the defensive secondary created a pile of those oh shit moments but were underexposed by a Colorado receiving corps that couldn't catch crabs from a 10-peso Tucson hooker.** Freshman QB Cody Hawkins looked stunning for a kid making his second career start, but perfect passes in stride were literally going through his WR's hands. The score could have easily been 28-0 before the ASU offense came to life in the second quarter.

Despite the secondary getting beaten several times, the front seven looked solid and they were especially stout against the run only allowing 37 yards on the ground. The newfound depth in the D-line rotation kept legs fresh, but the primary concern for this group is that they were unable to establish a lot of pressure on the quarterback when only rushing four. Many conference QBs would have picked apart the secondary with that much time in the pocket.

Everyone in Tempe has gone totally gay for Ryan Torain, even CU defender Alonzo Barrett. How is there a hands to the face penalty but nothing covering this? The Train racked up 91 yards on 17 carries, and while it pales in comparison to last week's numbers he recovered well from a slow start and a slight injury to propel the team through a medium-hot second and third quarter.

The line play of the Hell Hogs in front of Torain was up and down, and it appeared that they are beginning to take on the streaky nature of QB Rudy Carpenter: they play well when things are going good, but there's something lacking when things go south. Once things got going on offense, huge holes were opening up but the same can't be said for the first quarter. This could also be attributed to the thin Colorado D-lne and the 100-degree heat, but one thing is for sure- this position group needs the Koetter kicked out of them. A senior group like this one needs poise and confidence on every play.

One of the O-line's better moments as captured by 4VRADVL.com

QB Rudy Carpenter sprayed passes on Saturday night and was only one pass over a 50% completion rate on the evening, but these weren't poorly executed dink and dunk passes. With the exception of one 6-yard screen pass to Torain, the shortest pass completion was for 16 yards, and that was a fourth and one toss to Nate Kimbrough. The receivers deserve a lot of the credit for catching balls thrown behind and above them on many ocasions. The night's biggest huzzah goes to Kyle Williams for his only catch, a 22-yard touchdown in the back of the end zone to end the first half. There were four to six defenders surrounding him and Carpenter put the ball in the one place that Williams and no one else could reach it. I was impressed with the placement and decision of the pass until I read Carp's post-game thoughts on the matter:

That was an unbelievable, unbelievable catch. It was late in the half so I figured whatever, if it is an interception they're not going to get much, I might as well take a chance for the end zone.

Jeebus Cripes. WR Mike Jones had a pretty good view of the play from the field, here's what he had to say: I saw four guys on Kyle [Williams] and I saw the ball go up in the air. I was like, `Oh my God.' Then I just saw the ball stick in Kyle's hands. I was like, `Wow, we scored.'

Scary, yet effective. (photo credit: DevilsDigest.com)

I'll be crucified somewhere for saying this, but Carpenter's tuck and run ability looked Plummer-esque last night. Scrambling around trying to make a play was a big no-no under Koetter even though that's the trait that Dirk originally noticed in Rudy, but it suits his natural instincts and abilities well. He knows how to carry the ball when he takes off and I wasn't once concerned about a fumble.

Erickson's system also caters to Rudy's talents through the use of the shotgun, another Koetter no-no that was surprisingly used in Jacksonville today. While Carpenter was shaky and out of sorts in the first quarter, he looked like the brilliant 2005 Rudy during the no-huddle drive to end the first half, making quick reads and dissecting the Buff defense without out-thinking himself. Was the no-huddle applied in reaction to his slow start? Perhaps, and if it was then Coach Erickson deserves heaping praise for knowing his players and understanding how to manage them.

The man can read minds!

Coach Erickson wasn't the only Sun Devil coach in attendance as hoops head man Herb Sendek took in the game from the student section where he was handing out headbands to the sweaty undergrads. This was his second game in a row hanging with the kids, and last week he was seen meeting and greeting in the student wristband line where he sprayed the sun and beer soaked students with a water gun. When asked why he didn't bring it this week, he said that security wouldn't let him bring it inside the stadium. Good to see Herb cultivating a grassroots following for ASU basketball, which is how it will have to be done in the already crowded valley sports market.

The chicken little sky is falling response has been that this team is no more disciplined than they were under Koetter after tracking up 136 penalty yards. Judging by Erickson's body language and halftime comments the players responsible for the careless penalties will be dealt with, like running wind sprints until they're blue in the face. DE knows what his legacy and reputation have become and I believe he wants to change that. Players that headed to the sideline after committing the infractions got an earful from Erickson and other coaches. I don't think this will be tolerated for very long, and remember that there were only four penalties against SJSU just a week ago.

I hate to sound so doom and gloom because it was a Sun Devil victory and a convincing one; it's a game that the coaches can point to and say "this is what happens when you take a team lightly, this is what NOT to do." Despite the inconsistencies in some areas the team is leaps and bounds better than the 2006 squad. The defense has given up one touchdown in eight quarters of play, Torain is averaging over 100 yards per game, the receivers are catching balls that would have been drops last year, and Carpenter's TD-INT ratio is 5-1. Will the schedule get tougher? Absolutely, but the team will also improve as time goes on. Of the weaknesses exposed against Colorado, all of them are correctable. It's still probably better that the east coast writers and coaches went to bed before watching the ASU game, because the final score was more impressive than the actual game.

**- on a side note, Florida State's DeCody Fagg might be the worst receiver in D-1 football. Next week's CU-FSU matchup in Denver should be a clinic in drops and fumbles.

More than you ever cared to know about: the Colorado Buffaloes

2007-09-06T17:01:00.000-07:00

Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine...

The Vitals
Name: University of Colorado
Location: Boulder, CO
Established: 1876
Enrollment: 28,624
Motto: “let your light shine”
Colors: Silver and Gold
Mascot: Ralphie (live) and Chip (costume)
Stadium: Folsom Field, capacity 53,750
Conference: Big XII

The University of Colorado was founded in 1876 in Boulder, Colorado at the base of the Flatiron mountains because the settlers were just too damn lazy to make the uphill trek. The campus features uniform Italian Rural architecture, boasting a light-colored sandstone and steep sloped, red-tiled roofs that give it a classic Ahwatukee look and feel, sans the garage doors.

The CU folks won't get that joke, but anyone who's been to the Took will find it hilarious.) The campus really is beautiful and Boulder's a great city, highlighted by the Pearl Street Mall, which is like Mill Avenue but instead of kids bumming change they have mimes and street performers. Well, scratch that, they have bums in Boulder too.

Notable Alumni
espn's Chris Fowler
Trey Parker and Matt Stone, creators of South Park
Rae Carruth, noted wide receiver and murderer
Rashaan Salaam, 1994 Heisman Trophy winner
Skier/footballer/dreamboat Jeremy Bloom
Chauncey Billups, 2004 NBA Finals MVP
Robert Redford
Dr. James Naismith, inventor of basketball
Second Lady Lynne Cheney
Ellen Johnson-Sirleaf, President of Liberia

Tradition
Colorado boasts one of the best traditions in all of college football, the running of Mascot Ralphie before each half at home games. Ralphie is in select company as one of the few live mascots in college football, joining Texas’ steer Bevo, Georgia’s UGA the bulldog, Auburn’s War Eagle (Tigers anyone? –ed.) and LSU’s Mikey the Tiger. Current mascot Ralphie IV can reach speeds of more than 30 mph, and happens to be female since the neckerchief-clad chaps found it too difficult to keep up with and control a male buffalo. It has been discussed that Ralphie may make the trip to Tempe and run on Frank Kush Field, but no official decision has been made. You know who really needs to let a live mascot run on the field during games? Florida.

If you thought it was bad that ASU has changed from the Owls to the Bulldogs to the Sun Devils, check this out:

Prior to 1934, CU athletic teams usually were referred to as the “Silver and Gold,” but other nicknames teams were sometimes called included Silver Helmets, Yellow Jackets, Hornets, Arapahoes, Big Horns, Grizzlies and Frontiersmen. The student newspaper decided to sponsor a national contest in the summer of 1934, with a $5 prize to go to the author of the winning selection.

The schools official colors are silver and gold referencing the state's rich mineral deposits, but black was substituted for silver since the original colors didn't match well on uniforms.

Wow, they even have their own Whizzer White! Wilford “Whizzer” White attended Arizona State College from 1947-1950 and has his #33 retired at Sun Devil Stadium, but Byron “Whizzer” White played football and basketball for Colorado in the 1930s. Weird. Both are considered to be among the all-time elite athletes of their respective alma maters.

Athletics
Although they have run up against recent struggles in the wake of Rick Neuheisel and Gary Barnett’s NCAA violations, the Colorado footballers have had a fair amount of success in recent years. They won the Big XII Championship in 2001 and made their only appearance in the BCS, falling to Oregon in the Fiesta Bowl. That was the first in a run where CU won 4 out of 5 Big XII North Championships, although 2001 was their only outright conference title in that span.

The glory days of Colorado football happened under coach Bill McCartney in the late 1980s, where they won three straight Big 8 Conference Championships in 1989, 1990, and 1991 behind a powerful option attack. Know who Sal Aunese is. For every reader that doesn't acknowledge Sal's legacy, revere him, and weep a bit after watching the linked video, I will personally barbecue a basket full of puppies- not that you'll care, because you obviously brokered your soul in exchange for dirty motel sex with an underage orphan boy years ago. Anyway, the team leader and starting quarterback contracted stomach cancer and passed away in 1989, but the team’s spirit was unconquered as they dedicated their season to his memory and won a share of the National Championship by defeating Notre Dame in the 1990 Orange Bowl.

A funny thing happened on the way to the national championship, the forever controversial 5th down situation. The Buffs were running a hurry-up offense late in the 4th quarter at Missouri and marching down the field quickly- so quickly, in fact, that the chain gangs were having a hard time keeping up. CU spiked the ball to stop the clock on second down but the sideline marker was never changed to reflect the loss of down. CU scored on the drive and won the game, but many critics point to this incident as the asterisk in Colorado’s championship. Nebraska fans all at once: cheater cheater pumpkin-eaters!

If there is one single play that Coloradoans will always remember, it’s the Miracle at Michigan. No time left, down by five, 64 yards from the end zone. In the Big House. Against the #4 Wolverines. Using periods for effect. Is. Kinda. Lame.

Like the Sun Devils, the Buffaloes have an abysmally bad basketball program but they've hired a new coach. Unlike the Sun Devils, CU has a monster ski team that has won 16 National Championships. This compare to the Snow Devils, an ASU club that does little more than throw huge keggers. Not to be outdone, Colorado has a more casual ski/snowboard organization for students called Boulder Freeride, that with over 3,000 students is larger than CU's Greek system.

Rivalries
It's hard to beat a rivalry of the University of _________ vs. __________ State University. Colorado has always been considered the more elite of the two schools, both in athletics and academics, and they're always sure to point it out their Colorado State counterparts. Their natural rivalry is unique in that they are in different conferences, but their football teams still face off every year at Denver's Invesco Field. The all-time series is a bit lopsided in CU's favor at 59-20-2, but CSU has made small strides in recent years winning four of the last eight. Arizona State has caught a scheduling break both last year and this year by facing the Buffs the week following their highly emotional rivalry game.

Like most of the other teams in the Big XII North and the old Big 8 Conference, Colorado hss a strong dislike for the University of Nebraska, especially after their three National Championships in the mid-1990s. Nebraska's chief rivalry with Oklahoma has waned in recent years after the teams were put into different divisions, and since then the Huskers have begun to return the resentment to their neighbors to the West. The two teams play every year on Thanksgiving weekend, and the game often carries implications on the Conference Championship. Since the formation of the Big XII in 1996, these two teams have combined to win eight of the possible ten Division Championships.

Head to Head
Even though the two states kiss at the four corners, last year’s match up was the first between ASU and Colorado. The Sun Devils won 23-3 on the wings of Rudy Carpenter’s newly broken throwing hand. Last year's storyline was about former Koetter assistant Dan Hawkins taking over as Colorado Head Coach and poaching Mark Helfrich from the ASU staff to be offensive coordinator at CU. It didn't make much difference last year and it sure won't make much difference this year either now that Koetter's ship has sailed.

Phil Steele Says…
Nine starters back on offense will help the Buffs immensely after they averaged a lowly 16.3 points per game last year. Four of last year's losses were close by Steele's standards, but CU was surprisingly +8 in turnovers. Steele expects their defense to be in the top half of the Big XII, returning six starters from a unit that allowed only 341 yards per game, the lowest average for a Colorado squad in eight years. Even though their schedule contains seven teams that were bowl eligible last year, Steele thinks they have a shot at bowl eligibility.

I Say…
Nine starters on offense are nice and all, but the most important position on the field is a mess. Bernard Jackson, the incumbent quarterback, was bumped down to third on the depth chart by the end of spring practice by redshirt freshman Cody Hawkins and JuCo transfer Nick Nelson, who are #s 1 and 2, respectively. No matter how well the coach's son knows the offense he'll receive a trial by fire having to start his career against Colorado State at Invesco and the play in Sun Devil Stadium in an early season night game where the crowd will be big and well-lubricated. Phil Steele seems to think that the offense will improve based on the you can only go one direction from last year philosophy, but I don't think a ton of improvement will occur with an unproven QB. Yes, they'll probably do better, but improving from 16.3 points per game doesn't mean that you'll set the world on fire. They may have a shot at bowl eligibility since they're in the Big XII North, but I don't think their chances of defeating ASU in Tempe are too good. Losing all-everything kicker Mason Crosby won't help, either.

And don’t think for one second that I’ll pass up the opportunity to post this:

Related websites
The University’s official website
CU's official athletics website
NetBuffs, an unofficial athletic site and message board
The College Football Data Warehouse Page
The Wikipedia page

All is right in the world- it's football season!

2007-09-06T16:07:00.000-07:00

Apologies for the lightish posting this week as real life has been a bitch. It's been a disease-ridden, loud-mouthed whore of a bitch, so much so that I currently can't access the internet during work hours. Pitchfork Nation will have to do for now. Sorry folks.

As for a quick review of the Spartan smack-down, I was part of the radio audience on Saturday night so it's tough to judge a team's performance by a homer announcer and his alumni sidekick (Healy and Van Rapphorst). Few games can be summed up in a single word, but this one can: efficient. Carpenter was 14/20 (70%) with no picks, the defense allowed 115 total yards, and Torain and Herring combined to average over six yards per carry. Torain didn't see the second half and Robert James won Pac-10 Defensive Player of the Week.

James' wallet says bad mother fucker on it.

For an even quicker dash through last week's games, here's a blurb regarding each game I watched:

* LSU should probably be #1.

* Everything everyone said about UW's Jake Locker was right, except for that one guy that said he sucks. He's a moron, and the Huskies will give ASU a game in a few weeks.

* I might have been wrong about Florida dropping off after losing their QB and 10 starters on D.

* Michigan/App State? Watched the whole fucking thing, baybee! Viva sports bars with DirecTV. It was glorious, except for all of the happy Ohio State fans. It's also nice to see ASU in the news, even if it isn't the right one.

* Virginia Tech? Meh. I've been on emotion overload regarding Tech since 4/21 having lived in VA when all of that sniper business went down. They're going to get smothered by LSU this Saturday, and QB Sean Glennon is worse than anyone could have imagined.

* Ole Miss looks good enough to create a lot of disappointment for their fans. More specifically, they look better but they're still Ole Miss and they still play in the SEC. Poor bastards.

* Miami isn't back just yet, but their defense is well on their way. They could really use a quarterback not named Kirby. Also, I had no idea Randy Shannon was black. Good for him.

* Is Notre Dame gloriously bad or is Georgia Tech a lot better without Reggie Ball? A bit of both, methinks.

* BC QB Matt Ryan is worth most of his hype, and Wake Forest doesn't look like they're ready to go back to their hole at the bottom of the ACC anytime soon.

* Oklahoma? Scaaaarrry. They might run the table without a proven QB. Ohio State did the same in 2002 with a guy named Craig Krenzel, a good running game, and a monster D.

* Tennessee and the rest of the SEC can eat a dick thanks to DeSean and the boys at Cal gaining redemption over the Vols. They looked solid in all phases, but there may be a weakness somewhere on defense, just not sure where.

* Willie Tuitama's new nickname? Dizzy. Hurrah to BYU for officially putting Mike Stoops on the hot seat. If it's written on the internet, it must be true. I thought you could only go one direction from the 2006 UA offense, but they're magically worse. Don't question miracles, I suppose.

And finally, Florida State has a porous and freshman-laden O-line, but Clemson probably boasts the best defensive front the Noles will see until they travel to Gainesville to face the Gators in November. Some free advice- don't watch FSU football with FSU fans when there's a tequila collection on hand. It makes for a bitch of a Tuesday.

More than you ever cared to know about: The San Jose State Spartans

2007-08-28T21:18:00.000-07:00

This will be a weekly feature on the upcoming opponent and it's a bit of an homage to the M Zone's recurring "Know Your Foe" pieces. Enjoy!

The Vitals
Name: San Jose State University
Location: San Jose, CA
Established: 1857, as Minns’ Evening Normal School
Enrollment: 28,932
Motto: Powering Silicon Valley
Colors: Gold and White
Mascot: Spartans
Stadium: Spartan Stadium, capacity 30,456
Conference: Western Athletic (WAC)

San Jose State University is celebrating their sesquicentennial this year and proud we are of all of them. They pride themselves on being an incubator for the fucking yuppie interns of the local corporate scene, hence their motto “Powering Silicon Valley.” SJSU also wants to make sure you know that they are the oldest institution of higher education on the West Coast, lending to their other motto “where tradition meets tomorrow” even though it ought to be THIS IS SPARTAAAAAAH!!!

SJSU has a historical correlation with Arizona State as both were founded in the 19th century as Normal schools to educate frontier teachers. Tower Hall is considered the most recognizable building on the SJSU campus since their “Old Main” was destroyed in 1906 by…you guessed it, an earthquake.

Notable Alumni

Lindsey Buckingham & Stevie Nicks
OJ prosecutor Christopher Darden
Sissyboy NFL quarterback Jeff Garcia
Amy Tan, author of the unreadable The Joy Luck Club
The Smothers Brothers
John Carlos and Tommie Smith- shame on you for not knowing who they are.
The late great Bill Walsh
Dick Vermeil
Krazy George Henderson, inventor of the wave
Current student Joey “Jaws” Chestnut, human hot dog vacuum
Fulmer Cup Champion Ellis T. Jones, III
Joe Trippi, Howard Dean’s 2004 campaign manager who let this happen:

Athletics
SJSU boasts a bitchin’ judo program that has claimed 40 out of 44 possible National Championships. From their site, check it out:
SJSU Judo head coach Yosh Uchida — who also was the coach of the first U.S. Olympic judo team in 1964 — has established his Spartans program as a mecca for judo hopefuls. Over the years his SJSU teams have won 40 out of 44 national collegiate titles.

Coach Keith Nakasone was captain of the 1980 Olympic judo team, and Coach Mike Swain received the bronze medal in judo at the 1988 Olympic Games. Former team member and Olympian Ben Nighthorse Campbell, became a United States Senator representing Colorado.
They’re also pretty thrilled with their recent gridiron success, having just returned from their first bowl game in 16 years as they defeated New Mexico 20-12 in the 2006 New Mexico Bowl. The team is supported by the Spartan Squad, an organized student section club with their own website, t-shirts, and such. Those dicklickers have SJSU listed as playing motherfucking Arizona on September 1, so I hope somebody gives every single one of their beloved Spartans the DeSean Jackson treatment. They have this wacky tradition of putting three fingers in the air, not unlike our pitchfork, but its significance isn’t written anywhere on their websites. Fucking posers.

Spartan Spirit!

Head to head
The Sun Devils and Spartans last squared off in 2001 at Sun Devil Stadium and ASU gave the visitors a 53-15 smack. Surprisingly enough the Sun Devils only hold a 18-11 all-time record against the Spartans but have taken the last 11 dating back to 1967 and all but one of SJSU’s wins in the series came before 1961. Current SJSU head coach Dick Tomey is 9-5-1 lifetime against ASU, earning a 1979 victory as head coach of the University of Hawaii and the rest while coaching at the University of Arizona.

Rivalries
University of the Pacific is the school’s most genuine and oldest rival, as the two schools first played against each other before 1900 (no exact date given). They play each year for “The Bell” a bell-shaped trophy (duh) painted SJSU colors on one side and UP colors on the other. It is one of the oldest in collegiate sports as some believe it to have been introduced in the early 1900’s but again, no one seems to know for sure. Campus lore tells of a game in the late 1940’s where a fire truck was on the field before the game. (Why? I don’t have a fucking clue, just roll with it) The clouds rolled in and torrential rain ensued, so much so that the truck became stuck at centerfield and was unable to be moved. The Spartans triumphed after playing the entire game with the fire truck sitting on the 50-yard line. Pacific discontinued football in 1995 for unrelated reasons.

Fresno State is considered one of the Spartans' chief rivals and their football series dates back to 1921. FSU holds the series edge 35-33-3 but a more lopsided feel has been created in recent years due to the Bulldogs’ streak of 14 straight wins from 1992-2006. The SJSU campus hosts “no red” days whenever they host the Bulldogs and ask that the students and faculty wear as little red as possible. The teams meet annually as they are both WAC members.

A forced rivalry was formed with nearby Santa Clara in 2002. They play each other in all sports on a points-based system and compete for an unnamed trophy, basically because they’re only 4 miles apart.

Phil Steele says…
The Spartans were bowl eligible last year and despite losing their top three wide receivers and three of their top four tacklers this should be a better team, even though their record may not show it. Their schedule is a lot tougher with only 5 home games this season and Steele has his doubts since they benefited from +9 turnovers last year. Even with these challenges, he expects them to go bowling again in 2007. SJSU is 2-16 in their last 18 road openers and based on his outlook I don’t think he expects them to be successful against the Sun Devils.

I say…
Tomey scares the shit out of me. He’ll come to town with a hard-hitting defense, a bevy of trick plays, and confidence in the knowledge that he has owned ASU for the better part of his career. The Spartans are going to be pumped for this one and will want to make a statement against a BCS conference team. ASU will take Frank Kush Field for the first time in the Erickson regime, dealing with new schemes on both sides of the ball along with a new long snapper and kicker. I don’t know enough about the Spartans, so I’ll defer to Phil Steele's positive outlook on this one because after all if he says it, it’s gotta be true.

Related Websites
The University’s official site
Spartan Athletics
The Spartan Squad student association
The wikipedia page
The College Football Data Warehouse page

Not good. Very not good.

2007-08-24T20:58:00.000-07:00

This man:

who is referenced by this sign:

picked the Arizona State Sun Devils as his sleeper team for the 2007 season. This is as sure as Ol' Gil not making that sale even though he's soooo close. It's rock solid wrong. Sunrise, sunset. Death and taxes locked. 4-8, here we come.

We're fucked.

As if that's not enough, Rudy Carpenter threw a dicktacular 2-10 for 56 yards during last Wednesday's scrimmage, and 50 of those precious yards came on a single throw to phenom and now starting receiver Kyle Williams. Shhesh, 2-10? Before anyone goes jumping off the Mill Avenue bridge, we went through this last year. Some would have said that Carp was under too much pressure thanks to the Sam Keller ridiculousness, but Rudy was no more impressive last year after Sam went Nebraska-ward. The fact is that Carp has show no reason for any of us to believe that the Rudy.V.2005 is anywhere near Tempe, but rather we'll see entirely too much of that asshat who threw for 33 God damn yards against Oregon. I keep hearing how good the offense looks in practices but every time a game-like situation comes up and people start keeping track of things, Rudy has absolutely abysmal numbers. To wit:


Date   Comp/Att  Yards   TD
8/22        2/10         56       1
8/18       11/20        141       1
8/12         8/17        156      1
TOTAL  21/47       253      3

The 45% completion rate is the one that's jumping out at me, and that's against ASU's pass D with pressure applied from ASU's front four, the two weakest position groups on the team. What happens when conference play begins, or for that matter what happens when All-American corner Dwight Lowery comes to town this Saturday night?

While we're piling on, Rudy's accolades as the 2005 Insight Bowl MVP need to be divvied up among his receivers, because after further review most of his deep balls were waaaaaaay off target and guys like Terry Richardson and Matt Miller had to come back on their respective routes to make the catches and in the process make Carpenter look disproportionately good.

Having said all of that, I feel a little bad raking all of this muck after reading the story of an ASU "fan" who threw a soda at him. Throwing drinks at Carpenter is for UA fans after another loss in Tucson. Not cool.

But we're still fucked.

Coup d'etat!

2007-08-23T17:26:00.000-07:00

Hey man, wanna go to a party tonight?
Coup!
I heard there'll be babes there.
Coup d'etat!

The Tucson spin machine is going apeshit tonight after wide receiver/defensive back recruit Jarrell Barbour decommitted from Arizona's 2008 recruiting class and committed to ASU. Barbour hails from Peoria (AZ) Centennial High School, the same school that produced fellow 2008 Sun Devil commit Zach Schlink. The wildcat faithful are now denouncing their once prized signee, saying that 1) he's not that good anyway, 2) he wouldn't have even gotten in to UA. Barbour is that good, having also received scholarship offers from Nebraska, Oklahoma, and Michigan, but he apparently is somewhat of an academic risk.

Barbour cited ASU's academics one of the biggest reasons for the switcheroo, noting that Sparky had a better plan for getting him into school. The UA community is flipping the fuck out right now and they fully believe this is the elusive yet concrete proof that UA is a better academic institution than ASU, even though the two schools have identical admission requirements handed down from the Arizona Board of Regents. I'd like to submit into evidence this quote from someone on Devils Digest who claims to have been CB Omar Bolden's academic advisor before he was admitted to ASU. Dennis Erickson and company have got the very best academic people in the world at ASU. I was Omar's academic advisor last year and when ASU got involved with Omar he had a 1.85 gpa and a 710 test score. However, we had a plan and were taking classes at two (2) Southern California JC's. When we presented it to the ASU people they immediately (within hours) gave us a green light and some contingency advice. At that point, Omar had the offer from ASU and the ball was rolling. Furthermore, we presented the same plan to USC and they continuously balked at jumping the broom with the kid. Same thing with the UW. I, as an academic advisor to at-risk kids, will never send a kid to UW if he is being recruited by Trent Miles.
Bolden, you may remember, was also an academic risk.

ASU has been recognized as having one of the top academic support systems in the Scholar Baller program, which was designed to reward student-athletes who make good grades and spend extra time studying. Arizona on the other hand ranks at or near the bottom of most academic categories, and not just in the Pac-10 either. They have lost four football scholarships due to poor APR scores, the most of any school in the BCS. APR measures things like grades, graduation rates, etc. and penalizes schools that are not cutting it in the classroom. But you know they, like have a medical school or something, so like we're supposed to be, like, totally in awe of them or something. The story is ludicrous.

The term to note here is ASU's plan. While ASU has the Scholar Baller program, Arizona has hired 40 new tutors (bringing the total to 70) for their football program, but where is their organization and the incentive for their athletes to participate? When Erickson agreed to be the coach of the Sun Devils, many haters were quick to point out that during his tenure as head coach at the University of Miami players were prone to taking the field without making the required grades. He rebutted this criticism by pointing out that the rules at Da U allowed for a player to do so while his case was on appeal and that the academic programs, requirements, and procedures at ASU would not allow such a thing.

It sounds to me that these systems truly are in place in Tempe, and that the coaches are using them on the recruiting trail. This can only lead to the recruitment of a higher caliber person to Tempe, and we got that going for us, which is nice.

Even head groundskeeper Carl Spackler could get a 2.0 with ASU's academic support systems.

*Note: Big E wrote all of this much better than I did and you can read it here.

Regular Old Crackers played pop warner

2007-08-20T07:36:00.000-07:00

This is Colin Parker, ASU's freshman safety.

This is Colin too, 5 years earlier. Wait for it...

* Dan Zeiger of the East Valley Tribune unearthed this melancholy story from the Fresno Bee on the departed Derek Shaw, former Arizona State uber-recruit that transferred to Texas Tech only to leave Lubbock without so much as ever attending a single practice. It's good to hear that a kid with such a hellish background and head full of crap is finally starting to put things into perspective and figure things out for himself. It's not "just football," Derek.

* Tight end Dane Guthrie, who transferred from Florida and has yet to impress, has been moved to defensive end and has regained the form that had him so highly regarded coming out of Miami's Killian High School. Erickson notes his natural instinct and ability for the position, adding that his "great hip explosion," among other things, will make the switch permanent. The move came out of desperation after losing DE Luis Vasquez, DE Tranell Morant, and DT Saia Falahola to injuries that will threaten each of their respective playing time over the first month of the season.

* Sunday Morning Quarterback, the pinnacle of intelligent CFB blogging (journalism?) anywhere, is in the midst of Pac-10 Week where he lists ASU finishing 5th in the conference in his Binding Picks piece. Also be sure to check out how those enigmatic Oregon teams live life "On the Margins," why UA won't go bowling despite what they tell you, and "guest columnist Leo Tolstoy's thoughts on UCLA." It's like watching PBS- you will get smarter, or at least feel smarter.

Polls, etc.

2007-08-19T11:23:00.000-07:00

The preseason AP poll was released today and Arizona State falls into the "others receiving votes" category with 17 votes, giving Sparky an unofficial ranking of 36th nationally. Here's the list from the writers:

1. USC
2. LSU
3. West Virginia
4. Texas
5. Michigan
6. Florida
7. Wisconsin
8. Oklaoma
9. Virginia Tech
10. Louisville
11. Ohio State
12. Cal
13. Georgia
14. UCLA
15. Tennessee
16. Rutgers
17. Penn State
18. Auburn
19. Florida State
20. Nebraska
21. Arkansas
22. TCU
23. Hawaii
24. Boise State
25. Texas A&M

Others receiving votes: Missouri 128, Georgia Tech 94, Boston College 75, Oregon 73, South Carolina 69, Miami 68, Alabama 66, Oregon St. 42, Wake Forest 40, South Florida 28, Arizona St. 17, Brigham Young 14, Southern Mississippi 12, Notre Dame 11, Virginia 7, Clemson 6, Oklahoma St. 3, Texas Tech 2, Houston 1, Kentucky 1, North Carolina St. 1, Purdue 1.

Upon further review, I need to revise my preseason to make up for the gross oversight of Wisconsin. I had the Badgers in a pool of teams for consideration and somehow skimmed over them. The original can be found elsewhere, but here's the revised list:

1. USC
2. West Virginia
3. LSU
4. Michigan
5. Oklahoma
6. Texas
7. Virginia Tech
8. Arkansas
9. Louisville
10. Wisconsin
11. UCLA
12. South Carolina
13. Florida State
14. Tennessee
15. Ohio State
16. Cal
17. Penn State
18. Georgia
19. Boston College
20. Oklahoma State
21. Hawaii
22. Rutgers
23. Florida
24. Clemson
25. San Jose State

Sorry Duckies.

With more on ASU, it's probably better for them to be on the outside looking in. The rankings mean nothing until the first BCS rankings are tabulated in week six, and even then they're not that huge of a deal. Here's how the Devils fared in the polls for the last ten years:

Year  Pre  Post  Record
1997  NR    14    9-3
1998   8    NR    5-6
1999  25    NR    6-6
2000  NR    NR    6-6
2001  NR    NR    4-7
2002  NR    NR    6-6
2003  22    NR    5-7
2004  NR    19    9-3
2005  20    NR    7-5
2006  24    NR    7-6

You'll have to ignore the dismal era of the Snyder/Koetter turnover where the Devils were ranked in neither poll for three straight seasons, but otherwise Arizona State has started five of the last ten seasons in the AP Top 25, never finishing there in any of them. Conversely, the only two times ASU has had Top 25 finishes since the magical 1996 season they were unranked in August, making the writers wrong wrong wrong about the Devils in seven of the last ten polls. I put this erroneous voting on YOU, east coast media bias.

The soft early schedule will aid the Sun Devils to climb the rankings as others drop games, but it will be on the team to stay there after October 27 when the schedule drastically increases in difficulty. If any of that matters to you.

A night at the cinema

2007-08-17T23:33:00.000-07:00

So I just finished watching the movie Invincible for the first time. You know, the one with Marky Mark. Totally unbelievable, and not in the oh my God 1980 Olympic hockey beat the Russians! unbelievable, I mean I just couldn’t get in to it. The main reasons:

• Thanks to it being a Disney movie, there wasn’t one single F-bomb in the whole flick. This is a movie about Philadelphia sports, the Eagles no less, and not one foul word. Bye bye, realism. I use pottymouth as a hollow attempt to make myself sound edgy and funny, but in Philly it’s simply part of the vernacular. It’s even more surreal than fellow mouse movie Remember the Titans not having a single N-word.

• Along the same lines, there was not a single drop of blood shed when those traitor fucks took a Giant fan to the upper deck of Veterans Stadium. I don’t care if she is a chick, the few Eagles fans I know would have gang-raped her AFTER beating her senseless.

• Speaking of the Vet’s upper deck, it’s a good thing they filmed this rag in a CGI-created fake stadium because the same thing would have happened to the actress playing that stuck up Giants fan bitch that wouldn’t put out.

• According to this collection of dicklickers the Vet had Field Turf in 1975, amazingly some 25 plus years before it was invented. Now I’ve never been to Philly, but based on the handful of games I’ve watched on tv there has never been as much perfect sunlight in that city’s history as there was during the one home game shown. Did they play the entire game on a perfect autumn afternoon between 5:45 and 6:15? Stupid fucking computers fucking everything up.

On the other side of things, I totally bought Greg Kinnear as Dick Vermeil, but I guess it’s not hard to play emotional and sappy when you’re emotional and sappy. Plus, the bonus feature “making of” piece is better than the actual movie. It’s narrated by the new NFL Films guy (not John Facenda OMG that would be teh hottness) and has plenty of clips featuring the real Vince including grainy game footage from way back when. I must also acknowledge the sexy factor of the aforementioned female Giant fan tending bar and talking football at a Ron Jaworski/Mark Malone* level. Yummy.

Look at that, I even worked an ASU reference in there for you.

In summary, it’s an ok watch if you’re Jonesing for football as bad as I am. If you’re an Eagles fan, pass on it entirely or you run the risk of having to purchase a new tv because you people are fucking crazy, like the Alabama of pro football. If you can’t get your hands on a copy in the next 14 days, you might as well wait until February because it’s not worth missing any real football games or coverage.

*- Mark Malone was a three year starter at quarterback for ASU from 1977-1980. He was also a damn fine studio host before the espn brass let Stu Scott fuck everything up.

Blogpollin'

2007-08-17T17:02:00.000-07:00

Here it is, my preseason top 25. I based my list on two primary factors, last year’s success and returning assets. It’s fluid as all hell and will change a ton between now and September 4.

This isn’t a prediction of how teams will finish, and schedules were not examined. This is simply my perception of the country’s top 25 teams as they stand right now. There’s obviously a lot of guesswork here, and I made a special effort to not look at other preseason rankings. It seemed like there were a few teams that belonged in the top 10 but that there was an abundance of teams that should be in the 10-20 range. Here goes…

1.USC
A very easy one here with essentially the entire defense back from a damn good team. JD Booty has a year of experience and the offensive skill players are a group of plug-and-play 5 star blue chippers.

2. West Virginia
A dangerous offense returns all of the skill players and the best running back recruit in the nation in Noel Devine.

3. LSU
Absolutely incredible depth to offset losing the #1 NFL draft choice.

4. Michigan
Many schools have “triplets,” but none are better than Henne, Manningham, and Hart.

5. Oklahoma
No QB? No problem. OU has superb talent at every position and a new QB will make their margins of victory smaller, that’s all.

6. Texas
They had a hiccup year after the 2005 MNC, but things seem to be coming back together in Austin. Everything is bigger there, after all.

7. Virginia Tech
On top of being everyone’s sentimental favorites, the running game and defense are going to be top notch, especially with one of the best linebacking corps in the country.

8. Louisville
The nation’s best drop-back passer is surrounded by a big, physical team. I wouldn't want to play them.

9. Arkansas
The pairing of the best player in college football and the most underrated running back in college football will be a tough tandem.

10. UCLA
20 starters back on a strong defensive team. Skill players a-plenty, too. Consistency will be key considering the blowout loss that followed the upset of USC.

11. South Carolina
The ‘Cock defense has had some growing pains but almost all of them are coming back and they’ve gelled as a unit. Losing Cory Boyd will hurt, but you can count on Spurrier to find decent receivers.

12. Florida State
I tried to ignore coach change hype (see ASU) but this team is loaded to the gills with talent and they were probably held back by jump-ball Jeffy. Watch out for a brewing QB controversy, too.

13. Tennessee
They’ll always have a good line and run game, but Erik Ainge has matured and seems ready to lead this year’s Vols.

14. Ohio State
Tressel will do just fine with a green RB and no passing game, just like he did in 2002.

15. Cal
They’re losing some absolute badasses on defense, but DeSean Jackson has a skill for making people look bad and he’s complimented by another great Tedford back in Justin Forsett.

16. Penn State
This is Penn State at it’s finest: Good QB, good linebackers, and average skill players. It will leave them looking up at Michigan and Ohio State in the Big 10, however.

17. Georgia
A good team last year that lost focus in a few games and it cost them. Stafford is a year better but a lot of little question marks on both sides of the ball keeps them from being higher.

18. Boston College
Matt Ryan has been anointed the best QB in the ACC and they bring a ton back on defense.

19. Oklahoma State
Here comes the offense! They can play some D, but they’ll be this year’s Texas Tech and beat a few teams by simply outscoring them.

20. Hawaii
The Hawaii Bowl taught me that these guys can actually play. They’ve got a mean, physical defense and some quarterback named Colt.

21. Rutgers
Ray Rice, all day long. Schiano built this program the right way and depth is developing everywhere.

22. Florida
Losing nine defensive starters and a starting QB leads to a mid-20s mercy ranking for the champs.

23. Clemson
One of the better running back tandems in the country with Spiller and Davis. They could get over the hump this year and challenge for the ACC title.

24. San Jose State
Ahhh, a sexy mid-major upset pick! Everyone else is jumping on USF’s jock but this Spartan squad is good. Dick Tomey has a solid defense and some big athletic receivers that are raising eyebrows on the West Coast. The more I read on them the more I like them.

25. Oregon
A defense returning a lot of playmakers and an offense with Jonathan Stewart could overcome Belotti’s QB flip-flopping.

I’m well aware of ASU’s absence, but a team with so many defensive questions does not deserve such a ranking. Add to that, last year’s quarterback play wasn’t exactly lights out and the receivers were downright terrible.

Who got left out and why:

Alabama: I’m not convinced Saban is the second coming of the Bear…yet. Arizona: Offense
Arizona State: Defense
Auburn: Cox isn’t that great of a QB and a lot of starters are gone
Kentucky: Defense and last year’s luck (+15 TO margin)
Maryland: they won 9 games last year, but against whom?
Missouri: I’ve heard the have a great QB, but I haven’t heard anything else
Nebraska: Sam Keller can’t do it alone… or can he?
Oregon State: They’re going to miss Matt Moore A LOT
South Florida: Sorry, I’m just not buying it.
TCU: SJSU got my sexy mid-major pick. Sorry.
Texas A&M: the coach Fran unexciting factor
Texas Tech: Yarr, defense matey
Wake Forest: Last year was luck, luck, luck. And a weak ACC.

EDIT: As an observant reader was quick to point out, I totally forgot about Wisconsin. The Badgers have to replace QB Stocco but they have another one of those huge yet mysteriously quick backs and you know Wiscy is always powerful in the trenches. They probably deserve to be wedged somewhere in between Michigan and Penn State, but damn if I know who to bump.

The pre-school party: a lost art

2007-08-16T18:04:00.000-07:00

They were the best of times, they were... I think they were the best, hell if I remember. Today marks move-in day at ASU, the first day the dorms are open for thousands of wide-eyed, hormone-filled 18 year-olds. It's important for these n00bs to get socially acclimated and to network, because ASU is a big place and it's easy to get lost in the fold. (a VTech joke is tempting, but not now)

During my beer bong-filled days in Tempe, our fraternity set the standard for these bashes, commonly called pre-school parties. The prefix "pre" indicating that it happened before school started, not that we dressed in diapers and drank out of sippy-cups, you sick fuck. (can't wait to see what pervs google brings to this site now) On move-in day, our brotherhood "volunteered" our services to help these poor young folks move their crap into their state-issued cells, and as an additional service to them we extended a warm welcome into our home, but only after their parents left.

We then proceeded to Osco, the best stop for wicked-cheap domestic beer. Of all the rules we broke, the only one we always managed to follow was the no-keg rule. Still baffles me. Osco usually had one of the lowest rung beers absurdly cheap- Red Dog, Icehouse, Keystone Light, Milwaukee's Best. Multiple brothers with pickup trucks and SUV's caravanned around town to several Osco's, buying their entire stock of whatever was on special. We always skipped Jerry's Drive-Thru because no matter how much beer we got ahead of time, we always had to make another run around 11 pm and that was the closest stop.

We would unload everything back at the house into our galvanized horse trough and crank the stereo. Kids would start flowing through the door in no time flat, and if the numbers weren't good enough we'd go dormstorming. The Manzy smoke circle was usually a good place to find kids looking to get fucked up, and several of those kids became fraternity brothers. The cops usually showed up at 2 am to break the thing up, but by then over 1,000 people (no shit) had come and gone and we were out of free beer anyway.

These parties were home to some of the most outlandish things I've ever seen, and I've been to Bonaroo. Naked girls dancing on tables, two-story beer bongs, fistfights, crowdsurfing, and a close friend of mine had sex with three chicks at the same time (didn't even have a million dollars). If anyone reading this came and had a good time, you're welcome. I hope you got laid. We would clean up the empty cups and cans with a pushbroom and drink our private stashes of booze until dawn.

The south campus landscape has drastically changed since our reign- and we did reign, if only for one week per year- but where do the kids go now? The fraternity houses are gone, so are the n00bs having keggers in the dorms? Secret house parties? ASU Resedential Life went so far as to ban solicitation during move-in thanks to us, so how do you find these soirees? ASU slipped from Playboy's #1 to #3 party school after I left town, is this why? With an already weak Greek system and a president that frowns on that sort of thing, how do people get involved in the scene? Fake ID machines or something? I guess I am truly out of touch.

In honor of this glorious holiday, I'm drinking ferociously and watching PCU, trying to vicariously relive the glory days of partydom. If you're an undergrad and reading this, ru away from the computer, find a bum to buy you some booze, find a chick, and get ripped together until your clothes fall off. It's the one true Sun Devil tradition.

Regular Old Crackers

2007-08-16T14:14:00.000-07:00

The mainstram media takes a lot of flack for the often thankless job they do, but Sun Devil football coverage has been beyond outstanding since the start of Fall Camp. It's hard running a Sun Devil blog from Florida, and I couldn't do it without the work of guys like Jeff Metcalfe and Dan Zeiger, who have really stepped it up this season. There was also a common opinion that local coverage often showed ASU in a negative light, particularly from Dan Bickley and Scott Bordow, but both of those guys have also come around to sound like they're actually starting to become Sun Devil fans. Was Dirk Koetter really that hard to get along with?

Camp Tontozona is over and the team has headed down the hill for the start of school. Post-camp awards are too pansy for the new coaching staff, but both Devils Digest and the Trib have their accolades listed, and it's a concensus that Kyle Williams and Kerry Taylor are studs and it's not out of the question that both could start. The Republic has a breakdown of the entire squad by position group, showing which ones stagnated and which ones have improved since the start of camp.

Portland State of division 1-AA replaced the University of Idaho on the 2010 schedule, because for some reason the schools don't want to play each other anymore. I wonder why...

Photo ripped off from: Losers with Socks.

In the sad, sad, dear God that basket full of kittens is on fire sad department, Julio's Too is apparently closing so that a new burger joint can fail in the shadow of the almighty Chuckbox. May mini chimichangas, $1.50 all-the-time drafts, and some of the best damn chips and salsa in town rest in peace. Speaking of food...

Holy carne asada! Get Out published their "Devil Picks" today for the best of shopping, eating, and drinking in the 85281. They were surprisingly dead-on with a few things, especially Dilly's Deli, Harlow's, and Chuckbox, but to no one's surprise I'll throw out a few nitpicks.

* I've never been to The Salty Senorita and I don't have to, because the best margarita on the motherfucking planet is at Z-Tejas, the legendary CHAMBORD MARGARITA WITH A SILVER PATRON FLOATER. Learn this and we can be friends. 6th and Maple, chump.

* I've also never been to Restaurant Mexico on Mill, but as many who read this page know I'll shiv someone for saying anything is better than Filiberto's, or whatever the hell it's called now. Someone please tell me the new name because I feel like a schmuck for not knowing. And one more thing- nice original name, Restaurant Mexico. I have more taste in my penis.

* I have to admire the inclusion of Cheba Hut because the mention of a footlong Jamaican Red and a magic rice crispy treat will bring me to tears most days, but the top value in terms of price goes to YC's Mongolian BBQ at Southern and McClintock. Also a good cheap date, too.

* I know Dos Gringos has relocated to the site of the old Thirsty Beaver, but if it's anything like it's former self across from Architraz it should at least warrant a second place standing in the running for Best Gay Bar, because that place sucked and was constantly full of dudes.

Happy eating, bitches.

The injury bug strikes

2007-08-14T12:59:00.000-07:00

Ow, somethin' bit me!

This will be a recurring post as an easy to digest way of looking at the Sun Devils' health, and it'll be a lot easier now that Dirk Koetter and his no-injury-info-policy are in Jax-Vegas. Listed in order of importance:

Luis Vazquez, DE: High ankle sprain, out 2-4 weeks.
Troy Nolan, S: Shoulder strain, currently practicing (non-contact).
Saia Falahola, backup DT: partial triceps tear, out for the first four games.
Tranell Morant, backup DL: Knee (cartilege tear), out 2 months.
Eric Tanner, backup DL: bruised knee bone, out for one week.
Omar Bolden, CB: sprained ankle, day to day.
Jeremy Payton, S/CB: sprained ankle, day to day.
Brandon Smith, WR: sprained ankle, day to day.

Bolden, Smith, and Payton are already taking limited reps at practice, even though they're not at 100%. Rudy Burgess also fell victim to a sprained ankle but is back practcing at full speed. A huge gasp swept over Camp Tontozona when the highly-touted Bolden went down, but luckily it was a minor injury. Smith's injury was almost inconsequential because of the developing depth at wide receiver and the emergence of true freshman and rising superstar Kerry Taylor, who Coach Erickson said "will definitely play and may start."

Nolan practing this week is a huge surprise after a minimum prognosis of a two-week absence. Nolan was one of the stars of spring practice and caused Jeremy Payton to switch to corner, even though he'll probably be backing up both positions once the season begins. He's wearing a non-contact jersey for now, but should probably let it heal a bit more before really getting after it.

The injuries to Falahola, Morant, and Tanner would be low on the threat level pole if only one occurred at a time, but all three together plus the loss of projected starter Vasquez really hurts an already thin defensive line. Luis Vasquez was looking like he was going to be an anchor at defensive end opposite Dexter Davis, so hopefully he won't miss more than a game or two. Falahola has played well since switching over from the offense and looked like he was ready to contribute with the 2nd stringers, so his loss is probably the biggest ofthe three. Morant and Tanner have yet to show their value, but D-line is one place ASU can't afford to lose what little depth exists.

It's very disheartening to see so many of these injuries occurring on the defensive side of the ball where there is little room for error, even with everyone healthy. Coach E noted that this is the most ankle sprains he's seen in such a short period of time in his career, but would not aknowledge the Camp T turf as the cause, even though Rudy Carpenter pointed out that there are holes-a-plenty on the field- and he's not referring to the defense, either.

Someone who is referring to the defense is Coordinator Craig Bray, who let his guys have it in Scott Bordow's Friday column in the EVT. A few quotes from Bray, first on last year's much improved Devil D: “I saw a lack of overall athleticism and speed, especially in the front seven. I was disappointed. As you visualize a place like this you would assume the one thing you can recruit is speed because speed likes warm weather and we get plenty of warm weather. So I was disappointed in that.”
Here's what I hear: Y'all suck, and you're slow. The fact that you won seven games with this bunch is pushing miracle status. And it's fucking hot out here.

On the D-line:

“We’re not big and we’re not quick. Probably the only legitimate guy up front where you could say he’s a Pac-10 guy is (tackle Michael) Marquardt.”

Davis is too small, Smith is too slow, and Vasquez still plays like a JuCo. The rest are too young.

On the #2 corner spot:

“We need a guy like Chris Baloney to finally say, 'Hey, I want to be the guy.’ That’s something he hasn’t done. I don’t know if he’s going to.”

Not solely an attack on Baloney. It sounds like it speaks to the level of hunger and desire of the position group as a whole, something that may be related to the previous coaching staff. Funny that CB coach Al Simmons was retained from Koetter's staff. Hmmm.

And finally on how long it will take for ASU's defense to improve:

“I think we’re a couple of recruiting classes away.”

This basically says to me that these guys suck and that they're not physically up to the challenge presented by USC and the other big boys of the Pac-10, but maybe they'll get lucky. It's also an indictment of Koetter's offense-heavy recruiting and the toll that Brent Guy took on the Sun Devil defense, although the new staff has been fairly polite when it comes to that sort of thing. Some would argue that he did it to motivate his guys before the Saturday scrimmage- which the defense dominated, oh by the way.

Coach Bray ain't takin' no shit from nobody.

Soak it up you junkie

2007-08-14T12:12:00.001-07:00

Mmmm, clip shows.

Not having DirecTV is looking like a really bad idea right now. Mad props to Brett Hansen of Fox Sports Net for sending me the schedule of this weekend's delirious college football preview. For those of you in the Grand Canyon State, I am jealous. Per Hansen's email: The 2007 college football season is close to beginning once again and this Saturday, Aug. 18, FSN Arizona gets its viewers set for kick-off by airing seven-and-half consecutive hours of programming devoted strictly to the Arizona State University and University of Arizona football programs.

It’s FSN Arizona’s first-ever “Rewind Marathon,” featuring replays of each of last season’s Qwest Wildcat Rewind and Qwest Sun Devil Rewind shows that showcased wins for the two teams. The half-hour shows will air in their entirety in back-to-back fashion and conclude with respective 2007 season preview shows. The Rewind programs are FSN Arizona’s popular productions that condense the team’s previous football game into a half-hour review with exclusive field level camera angles and locker room access while using the UA and ASU home radio calls.

...FSN Arizona has the same type of marathon planned for ASU football when it airs four consecutive hours of programming devoted to only the Sun Devils. Beginning at 6:30 p.m. the network will replay every Sun Devil Rewind show from 2006 that showcased a Devils wins, including triumphs over NAU, Nevada, Colorado, Stanford, Washington, Washington State and Arizona. The seven show marathon concludes with the 2007 Arizona State Sun Devils College Football Preview show that starts at 10 p.m.

I obviously cut the part about the UA programming because I don't want to promote anything of theirs. And not to nitpick or anything, but I wouldn't call very many of ASU's wins "triumphant." Actually I think Nevada (8-4 in 2006) was the best team that fell to ASU...were we really that bad last year?

It looks like we lost a reader

2007-08-05T11:36:00.000-07:00

Rudy Carpenter, when asked what he thought about Rudy Carpenter-related blogs:

“I used to see that stuff all the time, and coming into this season I decided I wasn’t going to pay attention to that stuff anymore. The only blogs that make me mad is they always want to talk about me and Matt Leinart and Brynn Cameron. I don't understand why that's a big deal.

While this blog has been less than admirable of Carpenter's on-field performances in the last 13 months, I make it a rule of life to stay away from the baby momma drama, whether it's mine or somebody else's. Carp had plenty more to say after Saturday's practice, and the Trib's Scott Bordow offers this piece on Rudy's duality and the fun he's finally having.

There's plenty of special interest bukkake surrounding the first week of practice. Keegan Herring's personal struggles are front and center at the AZ Republic:

It's impossible to see through his megawatt smile to what the 20-year-old is feeling inside.

His father, Freeman, died Feb. 14 at age 47. His 23-year-old sister, Denisha Washington, died June 17. His aunt died two days after his sister, and he recently lost one of his best friends.

"Life is not easy right now," Herring said Saturday.
Rudy Carpenter has said publicly that he's going to do everything in his power to get Keegan the season's first touchdown. Other players and coaches have been supporting him, making sure he doesn't travel down the wrong path:

"I remember how I was, and I didn't handle it very good," said [ASU running backs coach Jamie] Christian, then a fullback at Fresno State. "I did a lot of bad stuff because I couldn't deal with the loss. I am keeping an eye on him. He's 10 times better than I was, the way he's handling it. It's hard, but the kid has got so much spirit. There's going to be days he'll be up and days he'll be down. I understand that."
Some may remember former Sun Devil Daryl Lightfoot, a young receiver with a ton of talent that unexpectedly lost his father in 2002. D-Light was suspended from and eventually quit the team for rules violations within months of the incident, so it's good to see everyone rallying around Herring. Every personal account I've heard or read states that Herring is a class guy with a lot of character, hopefully that will translate to success in life in the wake of these terrible tragedies.

* Coach Erickson spoke at length about the team's progress in the early stages of fall practice and addressed his relationship with ASU's director of football development, Frank Kush:

“Well I have to go up to the sixth floor from the third to see him. That ride up there is scary sometimes because you know that you are going to get either punched or hit or blocked or tackled, and you better make sure your technique is correct. Being around Frank Kush is the greatest thing that can happen to me. I have been an idol of his…he has been an idol of mine (laugh), I’m starting to sound like Michael Irvin. He has been an idol of mine for years and years. Ever since I started coaching I watched his teams."

Those in attendance at the press conference got a kick out of Eazy-E's self correction regarding the idol remarks and they were mentioned in both papers on Sunday, but no one has said diddly about the fact that he's afraid of getting punched or hit by Kush, a man who lost his job for assaulting a kicker. Even in jest, you know Kush is still pissed about that scumbag kicker and he's not a man I would mess with, even in his old age. I still think it's great that the pope of ASU football still gets a seat at the table.

The East Valley Tribune has a brief piece on sophomore defensive end Dexter Davis, who was expected to be little more than a warm body coming into last season but surprised many by leading the team in sacks and tackles for loss. Brandon Rodd talks about lining up against Davis everyday in practice:

After a year of going at each other, Rodd has an idea of what’s coming when Davis lines up opposite him. Rodd simply calls it ‘The Move,’ when Davis bursts around the edge, leaving the offensive lineman flailing. Rodd might not be able to stop it every time, but at least he knows what’s coming.

The younger players have no chance.

“He does The Move on me every day,” Rodd said. “I see it now, because I’ll watch film and say ‘That’s The Move.’ In practice I’ll walk up to him when he’s going against the rookies and I’ll tell him to do it. He knows that move is deadly.”

“He’s unbelievably quick,” Rodd said. “You wouldn’t even imagine just looking at him how fast he is. He’ll turn on the juice on the edge, and if you’re a big ol’ offensive lineman, you’re not keeping up with him.”
Defensive line coach Grady Stretz was skeptical of the undersized Davis' talent when he came to Tempe two years ago, but his work ethic coupled with his speed and leverage have proven Stretz and the rest of us wrong. Stretz had this to say:

“He had some tools, but he was just extremely raw. Early on in spring, in all honesty, I questioned how good a player he would end up being here.”

A few quick practice notes:
• Of the WRs, Erickson has been most impressed by Mike Jones, but he's been a practice all-star in the past without carrying it over to games.
• Eazy-E said that Kerry Taylor “is as polished of a receiver out of high school as [he has] been around in a long time” and he may not redshirt.
• Since Troy Nolan and Josh Barrett have the safety spots locked down, Jeremy Payton is getting some practice reps as a nickel back and at corner. CB Jarrell Holman is being moved to a backup safety role to make room for Payton.
• Kyle Williams was planning on playing baseball throughout spring practice, but after the coaching change he felt he owed it to the new coaching staff to concentrate full-time on football, even at the expense of ASU's College World Series losses.

I've done a little touching up around thanks to Mark, who started a brand spankin' new ASU blog, Pitchfork Nation. It's well written, looks professional, and it's promptly updated- it's basically everything this page isn't. Thanks Mark, hopefully we can push each other to be better like the running backs and not compete where one of us quits like last year’s quarterbacks. Lord knows I need the help.

The mainstream gets some love

2007-08-02T09:34:00.000-07:00

Hot diggity, today is the first day of practice! I don't know if this was a Koetter thing or what, but if you're planning on going to practice make sure to call ahead at (480) 965-5053 and get approval to attend. The boys are at Kajikawa Practice Facility (Rural and 6th, Tempe) this week before heading to Camp T next Wednesday.

Even though the mainstream media gets a lot of flack here in the blogosphere, the Valley outlets have been on the ball and done some impressive stuff. In addition to everything mentioned yesterday, Dan Zeiger of the East Valley Tribune does a preview of fall camp and addresses the top 10 questions facing the Sun Devil program. I was actually very taken by this quip of original thought from the first question, addressing the transition from Koetter to Erickson:

Something to watch — though, if it emerges, it will likely not be during the preseason — is how the Sun Devils respond to their coach’s let-players-be-players philosophy. Although Erickson preaches accountability, could ASU choke on the freedoms he gives?
It lends itself to the preconceived notions that Erickson runs a thug program and that trouble brews out of his jetwash after he leaves a particular program, but the point is very valid. I could make the argument that one of the reasons my Fall '98 g.p.a. was a robust 0.67 was that I had too much free time to swill Killian's at the Vine and (theoretically) do bong hits on the roof of my house until 5 am. Just sayin'.

Over at the big paper, Jeff Metcalfe does an excellent job (as usual) of previewing some of the newer faces that will be big-time contributors this year including both newcomers and guys who have worked their way up the depth chart. He also pens a short piece on the coaching change and notes that Omar Bolden, the potential savior of the #2 corner position, will be allowed to practice. Per the same article I'm also stunned to find that the nephew of the O.G. Rudy is an ASU baseball recruit.

Coming soon to Packard Stadium: whiny pipsqueak.

I don't know if it's the coaching change bringing new life to the program or that everybody really hated Koetter for being a jerk to the media, but even the local radio shows are getting on the Sun Devil bandwagon more than usual. KTAR has archived interviews with both Rudy Carpenter and Coach Erickson, and XTRA 910 has an additional hour-long interview with Carp (it's in 4 different parts). For the record I think XTRA's Bickley and Jurecki are twits and KTAR's Doug and Wolf are even worse, but it's nice to hear directly from the guys that are putting the work in to make things better on Saturdays this fall.

Coach E (can we start calling him Eazy-E?) is charismatic and easy to like, but I feel like I'm being set up for a letdown- the more I admire him, the more I know he's going to break my heart even worse, like retiring and leaving us on double-secret probation. Oh well, a smarter feller than myself once said, "tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all." Just get ASU to the BCS, that's all I ask. You can get more of Eazy's charm and wit by watching the video of Pac-10 Media day. After the link, click on "archived video"underneath Sparky and the site may require a brief and free registration.

Rudy comes off... like Koetter I guess- not to be insulting, but he's very cerebral and calculated. He sounds like he's coming to grips with who he is and who he needs to be as the leader of this team. He has a fragile psyche reliant upon confidence, which it sounds like he has regained after working with Eazy-E all spring and summer and attending the Manning Passing Academy as an instructor, where NFL scouts told him he has one of the most accurate balls in college today. He said he also really valued being able to pick Peyton Manning's brain at every available opportunity. That confidence will have time to solidify thanks to the home-heavy and soft early season schedule. What will be important is how he rebounds after a bad game or a loss. The playbook will be easier for players to grasp (I'm looking at you, wide receivers) since there's only one for the entire season- apparently Koetter used a different one for each week depending on the opponent.

Erickson's offense allows Carpenter to be more instinctive and quick-thinking as a quarterback rather than over-scheming and removing that intuitiveness that makes good quarterbacks great. Carp's also extremely happy that Offensive Coordinator Rich Olson isn't trying to change his throwing mechanics. He says he wants to “go back to how I was, how Jake [Plummer]was- just playing football.”

The interviews aren't all nuts and bolts. Rudy joked that he and the receivers have been working on end zone celebrations and that new kicker Thomas Weber needs to get ready to kick 35-yard extra points. On the upcoming season, he's looking forward to redeeming himself after last year's piss-poor performance against Cal and the Thanksgiving game against USC is circled on everyone's calendar, although they are all aware of the importance of the in-state rivalry.

“The biggest game for me every year is always UofA” Carpenter added, but after speaking of the emergence of the running game as a strength, he made the quote of the week: “I might not have a lot of TD passes this year but I’ll probably have about 5 or 6 against UofA.” Yippee!

See, the mainstream isn't so bad. I'm a total linkwhore for Everyday Should Be Saturday, but their site is down right now since they have server issues. Do you think espn ever has that problem? I think not. Eh, fuck that shit. On a final note, I have a new must-read-daily fanboy crush on another blog, Kissing Suzy Kolber. It takes "crude" to an artistic level and it's good enough that it actually makes me care about the NFL and fantasy football. Their pop-culture references make me look like a boorish 50-something golf-playing husband and they host a weekly reader's mock draft that's fucking spectacular. Pothead Simpsons fans really make the best journalists, after all.

Woooo football content!

2007-08-01T12:16:00.000-07:00

An oasis has been reached- spring practice starts tomorrow. Here's the practice schedule, ripped off from the official site for you die-hards without jobs. (Kindred spirits? Right now, yes.)

PRACTICE SCHEDULE (August 2-26)
Thur., Aug. 2 - Practice #1 (helmets), 6:40-9 p.m. (Kajikawa Practice Facility)
Fri., Aug. 3 - Practice #2 (helmets), 6:20-9:30 p.m. (Kajikawa Practice Facility)Sat., Aug. 4 - Media Day, 1-3:30 p.m. (Dutson Theater, Carson Center) and Practice #3 (shells), 6:05-8:20 p.m. (Kajikawa Practice Facility)
Sun., Aug. 5 - Practice #4 (shells), 5:30-7:50 p.m. (Kajikawa Practice Facility)
Mon., Aug. 6 - Practice #5 (pads), 7:15-9:15 p.m. (Kajikawa Practice Facility)
Tues., Aug. 7 - Practice #6 (shells), 8:45-11 a.m. (Kajikawa Practice Facility) and Practice #7 (pads), 7:15-9:15 p.m. (Kajikawa Practice Facility) ... (depart for Camp Tontozona at 10:30 a.m.)
Wed., Aug. 8 - Practice #8 (pads), 4:30-6:30 p.m.
Thur., Aug. 9 - Practice #9 (shells), 8:50-11:05 a.m. and Practice #10 (pads), 4-6:15 p.m.
Fri., Aug. 10 - Practice #11 (pads), 3-5:15 p.m.
Sat., Aug. 11 - Scrimmage, 11-1 p.m.
Sun., Aug. 12 - Practice #12 (pads), 3-5:15 p.m.
Mon., Aug. 13 - Practice #13 (shells), 8:50-11:05 a.m. and Practice #14 (pads), 4-6:15 p.m.
Tues., Aug. 14 - Practice #15 (pads), 3-5:15 p.m.
Wed., Aug. 15 - Practice #18 (shells), 10:05-12:15 p.m. (depart for Tempe at 3:30 p.m.)
Thur., Aug. 16 - Practice #19 (pads), 7:15-9:15 p.m. (Kajikawa Practice Facility)Fri., Aug. 17 - Scrimmage, 7-9:30 p.m. (Sun Devil Stadium)
Sat., Aug. 18 - No Practice
Sun., Aug. 19 - Practice #20, 5:45-8 p.m. (Kajikawa Practice Facility)
Mon., Aug. 20 - First Day of Classes, No Practice
Tues., Aug. 21 - Practice #21, 5:45-8 p.m. (Kajikawa Practice Facility)
Wed., Aug. 22 - Practice #22, 5:45-8 p.m. (Kajikawa Practice Facility)
Thur., Aug. 23 - Practice #23, 4-5:30 p.m. (Kajikawa Practice Facility)
Fri., Aug. 24 - Mock Game, 6:15 p.m. (Kajikawa Practice Facility)
Sat., Aug. 25 - No Practice
Sun., Aug. 26 - Practice, 5:45-8 p.m. (Kajikawa Practice Facility)
As always, interviews will be held after all of these practices/scrimmages. Media are allowed to shoot all of these workouts until the team returns to Tempe from Camp Tontozona. Then, beginning Thursday, August 16, media can shoot the first 30 minutes of non-team drills.

I've always wanted to take the trek to check out a Camp Tontozona scrimmage with grill and keg in tow, but rumors have swirled that there is a strict no alcohol policy in place and that space is very tight, all assuming that the famous Payson summer rains don't cancel the whole thing.

What kind of fall practce is full of carousing yahoos at 2 am?

The best damn fall practice in town!

If you head up the hill to Camp T, get there early if you want a good view since there's no bleachers. And for chrissakes, don't let Rex Banner catch you having too much fun.

* The aforementioned no alcohol policy may be in jeopardy if Coach Erickson and Peter O'Toole have their way judging by this masterful piece at EDSBS, highlighted by this gem: "Got this boss gig at Arizona State. We’re gonna kick some ass."

* The official site has it's release from Pac-10 Media Day posted. They're also selling 2007 Media Guides for $20 a pop, but I think I'll stick with the good ol' free interwebs for team information. There's probably more content on Facebook and Myspace than can be found in that overpriced rag. Speaking of media day, here's a short interview with boss-man Erickson.

* Devils Digest is all over the start of practice like a UA grad on a mop job, posting a fine position preview and a list of 12 key players for 2007. You don't even have to pay for 'em!

* the mainstream media is on top of practice too, led by Jeff Metcalfe's piece on the start of the season. Erickson pointed out that playing well in the opener against SJSU is important, but not that important.

Dennis Erickson plucks a score from one of his 310 games as a college or pro head coach to make a point about his 25th season at some team's helm.
Oregon State 21, Eastern Washington 19.
From that unimpressive start of the 2000 season against a Division I-AA opponent emerged a juggernaut that finished 11-1, crushed Notre Dame 41-9 in the Fiesta Bowl and was fourth in the final Associated Press poll.

Some hack from Tucson tried to spin the same story into wildcat bukkake using the headline "Erickson worried about facing Tomey." Maybe you shouldn't have fired him, then.

* As usual with the big papers, there are a couple of insightful player pieces on workhorse RB Ryan Torain and incoming frosh Jonathan "Tank" English, one of thousands displaced by Hurricane Katrina two years ago. After reading the article, Tank appears to have the mental maturity to step in and contribute at defensive tackle right away. At 6'0" and 330 pounds, he also has a pretty solid set of physical skills, too.

* Geting back to references about cartoons, if you haven't made it over to the Simpsons Movie website to make yourself into a Simpsons avatar you need to do so right now.Moe's sucks, I'm headin' to The Vine!

* Lastly on a somewhat serious note, I've avoided taking shots at the current situatoin at UCLA. I'm taking the high road for once, and Conquest Chronicles put it better than I ever could. This eloquent summary comes from the Bruins' crossown rivals, and you know I wouldn't be able to resist if this sort of thing happened in Tucson. Bravo to Paragon SC on this one.

Boredom Ensues...

2007-07-26T22:06:00.000-07:00

So I've moved to Tallahassee with some money in the bank but no job. The move to the smaller market has proved tougher than originally thought and thusly I have a lot of free time on my hands with zero friends so far. If you know anyone with construction management/real estate development connections in Tallahassee, by all means provide. On a whim I vowed to stay completely sober until I find work, leaving me with a heap of original thought and motivation. With not much else going on, I've turned to my OCD tendencies to help me through this quiet time. My activities have included:

Keeping an immaculate home
Watching every movie in my collection (I'm currently on #101 out of 125)
Reading all of the comments on the infamous EDSBS post #1406 (had to stop at 400 for fear of insanity)
Exercise *gasp!*
Perusing message boards and the blogosphere to exhaustive lengths

I've been reading blogs that I usually don't frequent due to 1) a lack of time and 2) they're written at a level that, honestly, I can't handle everyday. MGoBlog, Dawg Sports, and Sunday Morning Quarterback are just three of several websites that lower my literary self-esteem to a level of inadequacy that makes undersized, bullied youths become cops. (I wonder if the local PD is hiring?) Here are three things that need your attention as fans of college football and the internet:

T. Kyle King's recent piece on DawgSports regarding the ongoing struggle with/against the media Death Star, espn.
On top of doing a preview page for every team in D-1, SMQ is now in the midst of thoroughly breaking down each BCS conference and Pac-10 Week should be right around the corner.
MGoBlog hosts the BlogPoll each season, which is like the AP but us sophisticated blogger types vote instead of the mainstream media folk. I've contacted the site about making tHOH eligible to vote but have heard no response so far. Preseason ballots should come out sometime in the next month and yes, I'll be totally biased for the Devils.

Not to leave without anything ASU-related, here's few nugs to keep you sedated for at least part of the next 36 days:

* The Sun Devils were picked to finish fourth in the Pac-10 preseason media poll, but who cares about the opinions and prognostications of writers before the season starts?

* Former ASU fullback Tex Wright, not to be confused with Randall "Tex" Cobb of Raising Arizona fame, is alive, well, and author of one of the all-time great ASU finishes that I'd never heard of before this week.

Nope, not him.

* As poster "ENCINITASjon" of Devils Digest put it, here's "one of the dumbest articles you'll ever read." It's so bad it may get its own post here in a couple of days.

* Former Sun Devil basketballer and Sigma Nu douchebag Ron DuBois landed a job as an assistant coach with the NBA's Memphis Grizzlies. See Tucson, we do stuff in the NBA too.

* I started my own poll at Devils Digest since I don't know how to do it here. It asked readers to vote for how long it would take for the 35-44-1 all-time record vs. UA to get evened up. The vast majority of voters chose 11-15 years, but unfortunately some folks from down south got involved and it turned into an argument about semantics and the interpretation of the written word, then forever banished to the rarely visited smack board.

* Dennis Erickson inked his fourth signee of the 2008 recruiting class, local offensive lineman Patrick Jamison, who was suited by Erickson since his last name is a fantastic whiskey. Jamison also received scholarship offers from UCLA, Tennessee, Oregon State, Boise State, UNLV, and Arizona.

Thanks to google image search, I was also reminded that "Jameson" is also the last name of a prominent porn star.

* Apparrently KTAR 620 was late to Pac-10 media day since they only have audio of Jim Harbaugh, Pete Carroll, and Karl Dorrell available on their website. Admittedly I was also late to link up to it, that's why I was looking. As soon as I can find a complete archived audio file of the proceedings I'll pick apart everything Dennis Erickson says and take a few pokes at Mike Stoops.

An open roundtable from Trev

2007-07-26T19:42:00.000-07:00

Through a lot of linking I found a roundtable discussion brought forth by Trev Alberts of FireMarkMay.com that, while a month old, could use my attention. I'm not yet a blogpoll member but I aspire to be, so here goes...

Your Home Field Advantage

Give the more zealous portion of your fanbase a religion. What's this cult following? Feel free to give the splitters a derogatory nickname.

We all bow to Frank Kush, the patron saint of Sun Devil football who was professionally crucified by those whom he had come to enlighten- a camp catalyzed by a false idol, none other than a flag-waving kicker. (as everyone knows, kickers are NOT football players) The congregation became disillusioned and dissolved in the following years by carpetbaggers such as Rodgers and Cooper, then demoralized by Marmie the incompetent. Savior Jake Plummer had come to restore joy to the desert, but by that time the barbarians of professional sport had fully infiltrated the holy land and many followers had converted to the dark side. Our sect became divided in recent years, falling into the camps of lovers and haters and split by one man's papacy, Dirk Koetter. Koetter was forced out after piss-poor performance and record-setting bad decisions, which allowed for the new savior to enter our church, one Dennis Erickson. In a throwback to the old testament of Kush, Erickson preaches ideas once thought to be antiquated, like a running game and a physical defense. Lovers and haters are reunited and hope is restored in Sun Devil Land as we wander through the desert, although not-so-aimlessly anymore.

If this piece doesn't get me into hell for violation of the 1st Commandment, nothing will.

Your biggest rival is in town, and College Gameday is coming....to your citaaaaaaay... Create a blatant corporate sellout promotion to appeal to the mass unwashed.

In the spirit of espn being onsite, Pat Tillman's death will be exploited to the grandest extent. Gold-colored Army Ranger berets will be administered to the first 50,000 attendees, the marching band does a patriotic 4th of July-style set at halftime, and there is a missing man flyover to accompany the fireworks after each Sun Devil score.

Add one local delicacy to your stadium's concessions. Post-tax pricing is optional.

Other than alcohol? For four bucks apiece, Filiberto's (or whatever it's called now) offers burritos made to order. The tortilla throwing tradition takes on a whole new level when players and cheerleaders start slipping on fresh-made guacamole, but Michael Crow puts the kibash on the whole thing after a male cheerleader dies when a chorizo and egg burrito funnels through a megaphone and asphyxiates him. Jan had spirit, yes he did...

With an unlimited AD budget, add or subtract one thing to your school's gameday experience that has nothing to do with football.

Lot 59 is replaced with sod, shade trees, and plumbing facilities because quite frankly we are light years behind the Southeastern schools when it comes to tailgating, mostly because spending all day on shadeless blacktop in 110+ degree heat is no one's good time. For extra income the former parking lot is a nine-hole, par-three golf course during the week and a 10-story parking megastructure is erected for regular student parking where the bullshit Alpha Drive fraternity houses once sat.(hollaback old school Adelphi row!) We can put it right next to the football team's brand spankin' new indoor practice facility.

Just imagine a grove of oaks 160 yards that way.

General NCAA questions

Coin a hilariously unrealistic stereotype that you would like to "make stick" for this upcoming season.

The Stoops regime is fired from Tucson and they moochingly move back into brother Bob's McMansion basement in Norman, all while trying to raise a young daughter/sissyboy. Think My Two Dads but with three guys, two of whom are gay. And a lot of strained-faced yelling.

Redesign your conference or independent schedule with reckless abandon. Be prepared to include compensation for jilted schools and conferences in your explanation.

Jeez this thing is getting long. The Pac-10 finally got it right with the full round-robin schedule, no need for me to go fucking with it. As for the OOC slate, I'd like to see the Sun Devils take on more teams in the northeast and upper midwest. ASU is so popular with non-athlete students that it offers virtual orientation in Philly, Chicago, and Seattle, and this desire to escape the miserable fucking cold of those God-forsaken places ought to be exploited for recruiting purposes. Imagine getting on a plane in lake effect snow-ridden Buffalo in February and landing in Tempe where it's 75 and sunny for an official visit, and now envision a behemoth 18 year-old signing on the dotted line.

Following up on your new realignment, blow up the BCS and devise a national playoff system, money grabs and missed exams be damned. Using your new fantasy conferences is optional.

The existing bowl games get used on a rotating basis as neutral sites for a 16-team playoff, and the ones that aren't selected for the bracket games can be held as exhibitions, like a football NIT. More traditional bowls like the Rose and Fiesta are used for the latter rounds and they rotate much like the BCS does now. I'd like to suggest that the current conferences be blown up and reorganized into equally sized divisions (while eliminting those bullshit conference championship games) for the purpose of selecting some of the participants in this proposed playoff, but that's just crazy talk.

Elect one public figure to replace NCAA president Myles Brand. Anyone with proper name recognition is eligible.

Charles Fucking Barkley, and I don't think I need to explain myself. Even though he's a basketball player, being from Alabama he should intuitively understand the importance of college football.

Be sure to check out others' responses in the comments section of FireMarkMay's original post.

Premature Premonitions, Part III: The Schedule

2007-07-24T08:22:00.000-07:00

You think you can do better? be my guest. At the end of the year I'll be sure to point out every one I get right and ignore every one I get wrong.

9/1, San Jose State: Former UA coach Dick Tomey has a knack for beating ASU and this will be closer than most think. Expect a tough defense, volumes of trick plays, and for this game to still be in doubt at halftime. SJSU was a bowl team last year, and after scaring the piss out of me the Devils will pull away in the second half. ASU by 17

9/8, Colorado: The Buffs went on the road last year and almost pulled off an upset at Georgia, but I think they're still playing intramurals, brother. Too much offense on our side of the ball and the crowd should be good. ASU by 21

9/15, San Diego State: SDSU returns 4 defensive starters from a 3-9 team. While that may help, it won't help enough against Ryan Torain and a senior-laden O-line. The defense should be starting to gel by now. ASU by 24

9/22, Oregon State: Nobody in Corvallis realizes how much they're going to miss departed QB Matt Moore. He was the heart and soul of the team that beat USC and I don't expect them to be in fighting shape by week four. ASU by 14

9/29, at Stanford: I can't believe the Devils haven't won a Pac-10 roadie in Cali since 1999. Coach Erickson has the team playing with confidence and Dirk Koetter is a distant memory. ASU by 30+

10/6, at Washington State: The first serious road trip will be close- it's WSU’s homecoming and QB Brink's a gamer. They have some quality receivers but their run game is a bit suspect. ASU by 7

10/13, Washington: Trap game! ASU returns home at a 6-0 mark and there's a buzz building around town causing the best crowd of the year. UW will be anywhere from 2-3 to 0-5 and hungry for a win. If Dirk's still coaching this is a loss. ASU by 13

10/27, Cal: The Devils will be fresh off of a bye week and seeking redemption after last year's embarassment in Berkeley, but ASU's secondary + DeSean Jackson = bad news, even on Homecoming. Cal by 4

11/3, at Oregon: I'm not sold on QB Dennis Dixon despite last year's statstical beat down in Tempe (lots of screen passes that went long) and Coach Belotti will probably be shuffling Leaf the younger in by this point in the season. ASU by 9

11/10, at UCLA: 20 returning starters for the Bruins, holy freaking God. Their strength last year was the run D and that won't change. Expect Torain to have his worst day of the year. UCLA by 12

11/22, USC: Arizona State has a hard time getting a good crowd on Thanksgiving Day and it's freakin' USC. The young Trojan talent is firing on all cylinders by now and the tryptophan leaves the Devils flat. USC by 27

12/1, Arizona: The premier matchup will be UA's defense against ASU's offense, but the game will be decided by Air-izona vs. the Devil D. If concussion prone Willie Tuitama still has his head on his shoulders by week 12, the kittycat offense will be decent but not good enough. ASU will be trying to save face after two consecutive losses and Erickson won't let them come out flat. ASU by 10

Once again we’re the best of the rest of the Pac-10 at 9-3. We still don’t have the horses to run with the big boys but we’re not beating ourselves against the other dwarves. With this schedule we should be better but it’ll take a minor miracle to run through the final five games with two or fewer losses. The only chance is that the players adapt and buy into Erickson’s schemes quickly and all of the outstanding questions are answered with good fortune.

Bowl game, Nebraska: Sam Keller throws for 600+ yards and 6 TD's in a Husker rout. He then goes into the stands and fucks half of ASU's women, yet mysteriously all women present become pregnant and give birth to coked-up, rocket-armed cyborgs that destroy the earth. Far fetched, yes, but it's as close to anyone's bowl prediction made before fall camp.

Premature Premonitions, Part II: Defense & Special Teams

2007-07-23T09:53:00.000-07:00

Remember that it’s still July so there are a ton of unanswered questions and the defensive side of the ball isn’t as shored up as the offense so there’s a lot of guesswork present. You can look at Coach Erickson’s two-deep on page two of the massive PDF right here but few jobs seem secure going into fall practice.

DL- Kyle Caldwell and Jordan Hill were three-year starters and while neither were Terrell Suggs-level superstars their presence will severely be missed. Hill moved to DT from linebacker and was undersized until his senior year, while a myriad of injuries kept Caldwell from reaching his true potential. The remaining starters look good and they’re surrounded by a lot of raw talent. BYU transfer Mike Marquandt was a lane-clogging beast from day one and Dexter Davis, last year’s supposed question mark as a redshirt freshman, became a bigger weapon at rush end than Caldwell by season’s finish. Marquandt will be helped at tackle by Florida transfer Tranell Morant, who transferred two years ago but made little impact at defensive end last year. Erickson has moved him inside but I wonder if he has the bulk to compete in the middle. Backups include seemingly eighth-year senior David Smith along with redshirt freshmen Jon Hargis, Zach Niusulu, and offensive line convert Saia Falahola. Highly touted JuCo transfer Luis Vasquez is penciled in as the other starter at DE, and his supporting cast features veterans Wes Evans and Kellen Mills who have seen little game time during their Sun Devil careers. Expect JuCo transfers Alex Asi and Eric Tanner to be featured prominently in the defensive end rotation.

LB- There is a glut of young talent at linebacker with an emphasis on young. Four of the top six LB’s return from last year but few have more than one year of experience in Maroon and Gold. Local boy Gerald Munns, Pat Tillman look-alike Travis Goethel, and former LA Dodger Mike Nixon stepped in as true freshmen and saw a lot of the field playing beyond the expectations of most. Ryan McFoy saw playing time as a nickel back last year as a true frosh and he will be thrust into the mix at LB along with JuCo transfer Morris Wooten, who some consider talented enough to be a starter right away. The three starting spots are up for grabs among Goethel, Nixon, Wooten, Munns, McFoy, and senior Robert James who is returning after recovering from chronic headaches. Backups that should be in the rotation will be Chad Lindsey, Garrett Judah, and redshirt freshmen Jamarr Robinson and Jeff Bereuter.

CB- Ah, the fun begins. Shockingly enough Keno Walter-White will be missed because nobody seems capable of starting at the number two corner sport. The good news is that Justin Tryon is as close to a lock-down corner as anyone at ASU in the last few years, even though the folks at Cal don’t care for him too much. Chad Green’s unfortunate car accident affects the depth chart but he was one of several that simply shouldn’t make the cut as a starter. Chris Baloney was the hero against NAU in last year’s opener, getting a pick-6 that sealed the win. Nagging injuries throughout the 2006 season kept his productivity down but he appears to be the best of the rest. Help could be on the way in the form of true frosh Omar Bolden, a highly touted recruit that has yet to be academically approved by the NCAA clearinghouse. Many believe that he possesses the physical tools to play corner in the Pac-10 right away, but the phrase ”counting the chickens before they’ve hatched” comes to mind. Travis Smith, Litrele Jones, Grant Crunkleton, and JuCo transfer Jarrell Holman will also be in the mix as back-ups.

Safety- Josh Barrett is racking up tons of preseason accolades and will be the anchor in the secondary. The departure of Zach Catanese leaves the other spot wide open but this looks like the best defensive unit on the team. I thought that Ryan McFoy’s solid play last year would be enough to garner the starting free safety spot but one of Dennis Erickson’s first actions this spring was moving him to linebacker. He did so because of the emergence of Troy Nolan, the defensive MVP of spring camp who will be in close competition for the starting spot with Jeremy Payton. Returnees Rodney Cox and Angelo Fobbs-Valentino will provide back up support while true freshmen Colin Parker and Oliver Aaron may see the field in case of injury.

The defensive unit as a whole is a giant question mark. Teams with multiple high-quality receivers (Cal, USC) will give the corners fits but the biggest question is at defensive line with all of the unproven players. The ability to pressure the opposing quarterback while rushing only four was the key to defensive success last year and problems typically occurred when the corners and safeties cheated in to help with the run leaving the DB’s in single coverage. As crazy and forward-thinking as it sounds, the ability to control the line of scrimmage will be paramount in the success of the Devil D. The early season schedule is soft enough that the team should be working together and picking up schemes by the time conference play begins. A longstanding issue in Tempe has been that the caliber of defensive players under Dirk Koetter was not up to the level of their conference foes. Better players were being recruited in the last two years and there was marked improvement from 2005 to 2006, but the personnel issue still remains: does ASU have the horses to run with USC, et. al?

ST- Four-year starter Jesse Ainsworth departs and while he didn’t win any awards he was, in a word, consistent. Kickoffs were always deep in the endzone and he was almost automatic on field goals inside of 40 yards. Thomas Weber arrives unproven and will have to adjust to big crowds quickly. Jonathan Johnson was solid at punter with zero blocked and big hang times, however he wasn’t immune to the occasional shank and outkicked his coverage a few times; hopefully an extra year will provide more consistency. Ultra-reliable long snapper Jason Burke will have to be replaced as well. Terry Richardson (left, saving Koetter's job in the 2005 Duel) departs as one of the best kick/punt returners in recent memory and his position is up for grabs among Kyle Williams, Rudy Burgess, and Chris McGaha. Coverage will be a wild card as Koetter usually used the top athletes on special teams and it is currently unknown how Erickson is going to fill those spots. Keegan Herring and Justin Tryon were excellent gunners on punts last season but no one really knows how kickoff coverage will be since Ainsworth allowed so few returns. Many people are happy to see Tom Osborne go but the punting unit was the only one of the four that had significant troubles during his tenure as special teams coach.

I'll take a look at the schedule and make a few predictions in Part III, which will be up within a couple of days.

Premature Premonitions, Part I: The Offense

2007-07-20T14:20:00.000-07:00

Due to extreme boredom and sobriety, here's a not-so-quick prognostication of the upcoming season. Keep in mind that 1) I'm not an expert 2) I didn't actually see a lot of games live last year, 3) I didn’t see anything at spring practice and 4) it's mid July. You’re probably wondering why you’re going to read this longwinded piece, but it’s because it’s the middle of the offseason and you’ll take any football-related coverage you can, you sick puppy. I've been reading my copy of the Phil Steele CFB Preview way too much and these are my thoughts considering the following huge questions that won't be answered until Camp Tontozona at the earliest:

Does Dennis Erickson still have the magic?
Will the players respond well to the new staff?
How bad will we miss Kyle Caldwell and Jordan Hill?
Which Rudy C. will show up?
Will Omar Bolden qualify academically?
Will anyone plug the gushing dike that is the #2 corner position?
Have the receivers learned how to run routes?
Can Josh Barrett live up to the hype?

Having said that, here goes.

The Offense

QB- The question will be which Rudy Carpenter shows up. On top of being rattled by Decisiongate, Rudy played through a sophomore slump with each hand broken at some point during the season. If he can regain his freshman moxie where he had a 20-2 touchdown-interception ratio and led the nation in passing efficiency then Tempe’s in for a treat. Erickson will have him working out of the shotgun formation, something he often used in high school and pleaded with Coach Koetter to try. The running backs are looking good and should take some of the pressure off of Carpenter. Should he go down with injury, backup Danny Sullivan played well in the spring game and matured physically in the offseason adding 30 pounds. It has been said that Erickson’s playbook is similar to Koetter’s in many regards but that the plays have different names, something that may help to speed up the learning curve for both. Samson Szakacsy and Chasen Stangel are both VHT’s that should have at least a year to learn.

WR- The receiving corps last year was young and it showed as the unit created a lot of the blame put on Rudy Carpenter through bad route running and dropped balls. Rudy C’s production spiraled downward in 2006 after losing Derek Hagan, Matt Miller, and Moey Mutz to graduation, Terry Richardson and Jamaal Lewis to stupidity, and Rudy Burgess to injury. Burgess should be reliable and productive now that he’s back to receiving full-time but at least one of the young receivers needs to step it up. Smith, Jones, and Kimbrough have all shown flashes of brilliance but have lacked the consistency required to earn a starting spot. Chris McGaha has quietly worked his way up the depth chart through consistent play but may get lost in the fold if Brandon Smith or Kyle Williams lives up to their hype. The two have been compared to Derek Hagan and Shaun McDonald, respectively, but neither have done much in actual games so far. My nod for the starting three would be Burgess, Smith and McGaha.

RB- Ryan Torain has a lot of JR Redmond in him and he fits the mold of other successful Erickson RB’s like Steven Jackson and Ken Simonton, big guys with cutting ability that can catch the ball well out of the backfield. Torain’s gaining a lot of praise this offseason including making scout.com’s All-American 1st team, so living up to the hype is as critical as staying healthy. There’s plenty of talent waiting in the wings in the somewhat forgotten Keegan Herring, who has better breakaway speed and cutting ability than Torain but lacks the physicality to consistently run up the middle. Dmitri Nance is small in size but has a knack for picking up the tough short yards and always manages to fall forward. Nance was highly decorated but slowly recruited in Texas high school football and he may be playing with something to prove. Many are excited to see what he can do if given consistent carries but, barring injuries, that probably won’t happen until at least next year.

TE/H-back- Losing Zach Miller to the NFL was huge but not all hope is lost. Older brother Brent is back for a senior season and was solid as a blocker while consistent as a receiver. There isn’t much experience behind him but there is unproven talent. Florida transfer Dane Guthrie has yet to make an impact, Andrew Pettes was the other top TE signed with Zach Miller but has done next to nothing, and Jovon Williams and Lance Evbuomwan are young but physically gifted. Someone in addition to Brent Miller will need to earn their keep as Dennis Erickson likes to use a two-TE set on a regular basis.
Lil' Brent scores the game winner at UW.

OL- Zach Krula’s reception of a 6th year of eligibility is huge and should offset the loss of team leader and three-year starter Andrew Carnahan. Krula was a road-grading tackle that was a big part of the early season success in 2005 against Temple, LSU, and Northwestern but he hasn’t played since due to a broken ankle. Big Zach lines up next to five other guys that have more than seven starts apiece thanks to a host of injuries over the last few years, something that can hopefully be remedied through a new training staff. Seniors Mike Pollak an Brandon Rodd are the anchors at center and left tackle, while Julius Orieukwu, Robert Gustavis, and Paul Fanaika have all filled in well. Run blocking should be a strength this year and sack statistics should go down in the new shotgun formation. In addition to Carnahan, the unit lost Leo Talovou to personal reasons, Stephen Berg to graduation, and Saia Falahola to the defensive line. The top seven guys are very good but if the injury bug strikes as hard as it has in the past the offense could be in big trouble. Backups with game experience include Richard Tuitu’u, Thomas Altieri, Shawn Lauvao.

Defense, Special Teams, and a schedule forecast will make up parts II and III. See you next week, you poor depraved soul.

Bring it on, spammers

2007-07-19T18:07:00.000-07:00

It's currently being broughten.

* Due to some nagging by a couple of friends, the comments section no longer requires that pesky registration. You may still have to decipher the squiggly word, but that's blogger's doing and not mine. If you any love/hate letters for me that you don't want made public, my email address is now available in my profile. Actually I'm reserving the right to publish whatever you send me, so just forget about those naked pictures you've been saving for a great post (not that it's a real problem here).

* The new commercial is here! The new commercial is here! Yay night games.

* Mike Stoops thinks the Rose Bowl is "a lot more attainable" this year, and he didn't say it all tongue-in-cheek like the infamous comments about getting Tucson Tech to the National Title in year three. Year three was last year, oh by the way.

* I decided to make a shirt for the U of A game. Go get 'em now, before the Thanksgiving weekend rush!
MICROSOFT PAINT WOOOO!
***they're not actually for sale anywhere.***

The State of A-State

2007-07-13T13:56:00.000-07:00

Dan Zeiger of the East Valley Tribune has had to create his own stories this offseason thanks to this new-fangled idea called discipline. In the wake of a $30 million deficit and Sun Devil Stadium's structural inadequacies, the overall ASU sports program seems to be doing as well as it ever has as evidenced by Zeiger's article.

A 10th place finish in the Director's Cup standings, although weighted heavily by consistent success across the Olympic(non-important) sports, is a reason to have faith. Rob Evans and Dirk Koetter are out. Pat Murphy(College World Series), Charli Turner-Thorne(Sweet 16), and Clint Myers(WCWS) are staying put. Herb Sendek and Dennis Erickson are in.

I bear the gifts of Frankensense, gold, and a physical defense.

The Director's Cup finish is of little consequence unless one examines the company in which ASU sits. Zeiger puts it well:

ASU is expected to reach the $40-million revenue mark in fiscal year 2008. [athletics director Lisa] Love said that $50 million in annual funds is most ideal, yet realistic.
She looks at the Directors’ Cup standings and marvels that her school was in the top 10 with Texas ($97.8 million revenue in 2005-06), Florida ($82.4 million) and Michigan ($85.5 million). ASU finished four spots ahead of Ohio State, which had the nation’s largest ’05-06 revenue at $104.7 million.
“We are incredibly, competitively efficient,” Love said. “Now, you can’t help but dream. What could our university do (with Ohio State money)?”

Holy freaking smokes. This leads to the chicken vs. egg argument about Sun Devil athletics- do we win to create revenue or do we spend extra money to get more wins? This is also alluded to in the Trib article, making mention of Koetter's famous departing quote regarding the perception/reality of ASU and Zeiger hints that it may have to do with financial competitive advantage based on a smallish and somewhat apathetic fan base. Also cited is the example of George Mason, who after their 2006 Final Four run had a 20% increase on freshman admission applications and a 25% increase in athletic donations.

How does this affect football? Gymnastics coach John Spini says that morale at ASU is the best it's been during his 27 years in Tempe. Morale makes for a happy place, which makes it easier to recruit. A new coach has invigorated the fan base and created a buzz around town. We won't be punting late in the game when we're behind. A schedule with 8 home games can't hurt, especially when seven of them are guaranteed to be at night. Season tickets for those 8 home dates start at $99, and a happy fan base donates money and creates a bigger fan base which makes it easier to recruit. A butterfly flaps it's wings and so on...

Basketball still gets a pass since they can still only go one direction, but Sendek seems to have laid the foundation for on-court success and local support. The uber-recruits coming to Wells Fargo Arena this season can't hurt either, and while getting excited about recruits is usually reserved for the folks in Stoopsville remember that new blood turns basketball around much quicker than football.

Life seems to be good in Tempe, but as usual it will all come down to winning on Saturdays in the fall. The schedule plays in ASU's favor to gain some early confidence in themselves and for the Valley to get excited and show support before the meat of the schedule comes to town. Phil Steele thinks we have a good shot at starting 8-0, and if he says it it must be true. This is as much of a make-or-break year as ASU has ever had. The deck is stacked in Sparky's favor for once and it's time to put up or shut up. Now is the time to makes strides.

Possession Receiving at it's finest

2007-07-11T10:59:00.000-07:00

God bless IOBON Productions for posting the Moey Mutz Highlight Tape on youtube. Other than being tied with Mason Unck for having the best ASU football name of the Koetter era, Mutz was known for for being a gutty, undersized, white kid with a nose for the ball and an ability for getting open on third and long. Here now are more catches than I ever remember Mutz making.

I guess they wanted to give South Korea a sporting chance

2007-07-10T13:29:00.000-07:00

John Mackovic, professor emeritus.

Former University of Arizona head football coach John Mackovic will be leading a team of college football players to represent these United States in the 2007 American Football World Cup. Players will be taken from Divisions I, II, and III, including UA quarterback Adam Austin.

The roster is full of names you've never heard from schools you haven't heard of including Hobart, Morningside, and Virginia Tech. (too soon? -ed.) In the offensive overview, the career highlight mentioned with Austin is that he "was a part-time starter for the Wildcats during his career, leading the team to a victory over Stanford last season." Stanford, wow. Congratulations Adam, you have something in common with 92% the Cardinal's opponents.

I'd like to think that I was creative enough to come up with something like this, but it's real. For that sort of creativity in a college football blog, check out the Hayley LaFontaine story at EDSBS. I did a double check just to make sure this isn't an Onion-style article, but if it is a ruse then the authors were thorough enough to create a Team USA website with pictures and everything. Fear not fellow Americans, as S. Korea was defeated 77-0 on Tuesday and Team USA advances to face Germany on Saturday. Austin didn't perform well enough to get his name in the paper, but Macko's probably saving him for the Germans and their stout D. Mmmmm, German stout. I'm off to Leon Pub.

For extra summer reading, Sun Devil Pat ranked ASU's bowl victories on Cactus Ranch. It's not much, but it's something to distract you from behemoth recruit Po'u Palelei not qualifying academically. Remember folks, no offseason news is good offseason news when Dennis Erickson is your coach.

It's time to party with Turd Ferguson

2007-06-28T11:47:00.000-07:00

Yeah, it's a funny name. Funny.

Well folks, life has come calling and I'll be leaving the River City for the final time on Saturday afternoon. I'm relocating the House to Tallahassee, Florida because Richmond just isn't humid enough. I'm not sure when the internet will be up and running at the new digs so I'l be taking a sabbatical from posting for a little while. A few fun facts about Florida's capital and State University:

* Tallahassee is located in the big bend region of Florida and sits 20 miles from Georgia and 15 miles from the Gulf of Mexico.

* FSU alumni include Burt Reynolds, Gabby Reece, and Richard Simmons.

* FSU is the only school in the nation that offers a major in Circus.

* The state capital building looks like a huge cock-n-balls.

If you're in Tally, just look for the tall guy going head to head against Chuck Amato in a wet t-shirt contest. Happy trails, bitches.

Any more than a handful and you just risk spraining a thumb.

Regular Old Crackers for the abysmal depths of the offseason

2007-06-26T06:06:00.000-07:00

There's actually some Sun Devil news relevant to the big sports, and none of it involves the police! Kinda makes me feel like riverdancing.

* There was an expose in Sunday's East Valley Tribune regarding major structural needs at Sun Devil Stadium. Long story short, engineers didn't see the need to waterproof a stadium in the desert but they hadn't thought of soda, beer, the mini-bottles we used to sneak into the student section, the subsequent vomit, or the water used to hose all of it off. As a result, structural steel beams have rusted out and concrete is beginning to show severe stress cracks. I guess the bathroom and concession stand remodeling will have to wait, since there has never been any money in the budget for those either.

Oh I'm stressed!

* Herb Sendek and the basketball coaching staff are keeping up with the filthy, slimy Joneses of the CBK world by offering scholarships to 14 year-old Nick Johnson and 15 year-old Matt Carlino, both from Gilbert(AZ) Highland High School. While I can't say I approve, it's probably better for the kids involved if Herb gets there before Lute.

Lute Olson is already scouting the class of 2026. That fucker will never die.

* ASU football received two verbal committments for the 2008 recruiting class, landing a highly touted corner from Vegas (thank freaking GOD) and a defensive lineman from Chandler. Good to see we're addressing immediate needs, but let's be honest- aren't they all "highly touted" when they're still in high school?

* And finally, check out the high-larious U of A haiku thread at Devil's Digest. A sampling from RBKDevil, if you will:

Moral victory
Six and six season again
Time for basketball.
Sheer brilliance!

Your Alumni vs. Our Alumni

2007-06-22T08:21:00.001-07:00

We've played this game before with the likes of OJ Simpson vs. Pat Tillman and Geraldo Rivera vs. Al Michaels, but these two are random guys off the street that I had never heard of until this morning. The first comes from some rough streets, namely those of Afghanistan:

It could be worse, at least that's not Sentinel peak in the background.

The handsome man in the above picture is a buddy of UAHater, one of my favorite message board personalities. The second entry comes from an MSN Money article. To wit:

Mark Williams, who holds a degree in archaeology from the University of Arizona, is a cook at a nearby Denny's (DENN, news, msgs). After entering the CNBC contest, he didn't make it out of the contest's 10-week first round.

Keep reaching for the stars, Wilbur.

* Speaking of alumni, I'll be in the Nation's Capital this weekend and I'm hoping to take in Sunday morning's soccer match between the local ASU and UA alumni associations. Kick some ass Sparky!

* And on a final note, I haven't laughed this hard in quite some time.

2007-06-20T13:41:00.000-07:00

If you're one of the two tHOH readers that don't frequent the Devil's Digest/Cactus Ranch Message Boards, every offseason there is a time-honored tradition of pointing the inadequacies of the Sun Devil football uniforms. Here's how this works: 1) somebody suggests changing the layout, 2) a bunch of people jump all over the first guy because that's just ludicrious, 3) another bunch of people point out that our gold pants do not match our gold helmets, 4) some UA fan throws out a shitty remark about the superiority of all things red and blue, and 5) everyone comes out of the woodwork to throw their two cents into the ring. Myself being no exception, especially since the football season in the sky is as about as far into the southern hemisphere as it gets right now, here's my take on the problems/solutions.

Because posting this picture never gets old.

I like the maroon pants better than the gold ones for the road unis. To each their own, but I think the attachment to these uniforms comes from a longing for the success of the 1996 season (see above photo). The last time ASU donned the maroon pants was the rivalry game in 2001 where ASU was defeated by a John Mackovic-led *gasp!* Arizona team that ended in a midfield brawl. The great thing about the dark pants is that no one can bring up the second arguement, which is constantly griped about but never solved.

The gold in the helmets is different than the gold in the pants. This is absolutely true, and has been so for at least 10 years, probably a lot longer. The helmets haven't changed since I arrived in Tempe in 1997, but the shirts and pants have changed from Champion to Adidas to the disastrous 2003 experiment(see below) to Nike. My guess is that the helmet consistency comes down from administrative/alumni blowhards that love it and will not see it changed for any reason, and I agree to a point. The two issues at hand are making the uniform trim "pop" and being able to match the colors on different media/materials. I love the bright gold that you find on the jersey trim along with the student section t-shirts and if they were made to match the helmets they would appear to be a shit-mustard yellow of which no one would approve; we'd probably even lose recruits over it. At the same time, the helmets really are perfect, so why mess with them? The pants are made of stretchy lycra stuff that has a glittery effect and thus doesn't hold color as consistently as plastic or cotton. The stretch factor also comes into play with the pants since they become more translucent as they are stretched further. Derek Hagan wore pants tight enough to go clubbing in Ibiza, and it affected their appearance. I only know because you could see his jock strap from behind, not that I was looking. Not that there's anything wrong with that. What to do here? Hell, I don't know. Wash 'em until they match.

It's ok to look.

What about putting the interlocking A-S/a pitchfork/the sunburst logo on the helmet? Get the fuck outta my face with that shit. Sparky is teh hottness, and should be treated accordingly.

We should change to a natural gold a la BC/Florida State/Navy. No, we shouldn't. If you think we have problems with our gold consistency now, try making t-shirts that look like glittering gold. Wake Forest students looked khaki until they switched to tie-dye, and I'm pretty sure that's why the Notre Dame student section wears green. We're also not switching the gold to copper due to its historical relevance as one of Arizona's chief exports.

What about making an alternate gold jersey, like Notre Dame has the green ones? I have unsuccessfully searched far and wide (on the internet) for photos but Sun Devil legend says that we actually tried this once. It was a game against UA and something worthwhile was on the line for ASU- bowl berth, conference title, something like that. The team warmed up in maroon jersies and gold pants, went into the locker room for a pep talk, and charged on to the field wearing a gold/gold combination. We lost that day, they were forever labeled as the banana uniforms, and they haven't been seen since. The maroon/maroon combination was successfully used against UA in 1999, but after the aforementioned loss and subsequent brawl of 2001 they were also retired.

What about modernizing them by adding piping, sabres, black trim, etc? We tried that once and it was a shitstorm. Stick your click-clack where the sun don't shine. I mean, you've seen Oregon play in the last few years, right?

One thing we all agree on: 2003 was totally fucked up.

The whole concept is mindless drivel to get us through the long, hot summer until the season arrives. The concept of changing our uniforms reaches another depth of mindlessness since Sparky leads the nation's mascots in badassery and our color scheme is unique (don't tell anyone from Minnesota) withot being weird(re: Oregon). Remember folks, no offseason news is good offseason news when Dennis Erickson is your coach.

...and now I've seen it all

2007-06-19T14:34:00.000-07:00

How does this asshat have his own action figure and I don't?

The husky "pardner" in the tweed jacket is none other than the most hated announcer this side of Pam Ward, one Brent Musburger. I'm simply mystified- not only because MGM waited 27 years to release action figures for a sequel, not just because his pecs are disproportionately large(you know he wrote that shit into the contract), but because a team of marketing monkeys being paid much better than I actually thought kids would want to play with an announcer doll. Not just any announcer mind you, but the one that fought Jimmy the Greek and got a public consumption ticket in Lincoln, Nebraska. Hmmm, on second thought maybe he does need an action figure, but I'm still waiting on the Jack Arute doll. It'll be a dandy of a foootrace to the store when those come out, my friend. I mean pardner. John Saunders in the Dr. Pepper Studio. Jackaroo!

If you didn't catch that last rant, start reading up on the Brent Musburger Drinking Game and we'll get together in late August. For now I'll be busy ignoring the fact that ASU got their doors blown off against Oregon State in the College World Series. Better luck tonight!

CWS Brackets

2007-06-13T05:43:00.001-07:00

This is your team.

A few quick thoughts on the 2007 College World Series that begins on Saturday for ASU.

* The Sun Devils are the third highest national seed remaining in the field, following #2 Rice and #3 North Carolina.

* Here's a good snapshot of each of the participants.

* The brackets are up, but difficult to follow due to the double-elimination thing. Perennial bracket dream killer Cal State Fullerton looms large for ASU in the second round, assuming they can get past defending national champs Oregon State.

* ASU (48-13) opens up on Saturday against the UC-Irvine Anteaters (45-15-1) at 11 am AZ time. Freshman RHP Mike Leake will make the start on the mound for the Devils.

* AZ Central and The Trib will have more info on the team than I will be able to offer, especially since I haven't even seen ASU play this year thanks to those regional pigdogs at espn. Here in Virginia, I had to watch the N. Carolina/S. Carolina doubleheader on Sunday instead of the originally scheduled ASU/Ole Miss clincher.

Going Back To Omaha

2007-06-11T06:18:00.001-07:00

Say hello to Sam Keller for me.

The Sun Devil baseball squad cruised through the NCAA playoffs going undefeated in Regional and Super Regional play, most recently topping Ole Miss 7-1 to clinch a berth in next week's College World Series. For those unaware, "playoffs" are a high-tech method for determining the league champion, and many find it a better system than letting writers and computers vote for it. This will be ASU's 20th appearance in the CWS.

Five of the top eight national seeds have already been eliminated from CWS contention, theoretically clearing the path for ASU's sixth National Championship. Other teams making travel plans to Omaha are Cal State Fullerton, UC Irvine, Rice, Louisville, Mississippi State, and North Carolina. The eighth team to be selected is the winner of the Michigan/Oregon State series which the Beavers lead 1-0. The Beavers, whom ASU owns this season, were last year's CWS Champs.

* Congrats are in order for the Sun Devil ladies track team, who brought home the NC. Bravo to you all.
Where's your SEC speed now?

* And finally, reason # 11,847 that ASU is better than U of A: Chris McAlister vs. Jason Simmons. ASU alum Simmons seized a similar opportunity to donate to a worthwhile charity and Wildcat McAlister, well, just check the quote from FoxSports.com:

"Willis McGahee was sitting outside the Baltimore Ravens' locker room Thursday
when cornerback Chris McAlister walked by, rubbing his fingers together - the
universal sign used to ask for money.

McAlister was offering to sell McGahee jersey No. 21, which the running back wore during his turbulent tenure with the Buffalo Bills."

Douche.

Champions, Bitches!

2007-05-24T07:20:00.001-07:00

* ASU whipped UA 8-5 last night at Packard Stadium to win the Pac-10 title outright, and the win ought to secure a home slot in both the regional and super regional in the upcoming NCAA tournament. The only thing left on the line is pride, and one more win against the Cats will give the Sun Devils the season advantage against the hated ferals of the south. The Diamondbacks must be doing really poorly right now, because the local media is all over this series. Both papers even sent photograpers *gasp!* to Wednesday's victory.

* Speaking of champions, congrats to Jordin Sparks for winning American Idol. Proud papa and former Sun Devil footballer Phillippi Sparks was in attendance for his daughter's win. Yeah, I watched some of it. So I'm a little gay. Sue me.

* Speaking of gay, M-Zone has unearthed a picture of former USC Trojan Carson Palmer...uh, just look at it for yourself.

* And finally, Jason Simmons is the shit. He played safety next to Fright Night Freedman in the mid/late 1990's, and luckily none of the evil rubbed off on him. Rather than make money on new teammate Ahman Green's desire to wear Simmons' #30, he told Green that he would have to donate the money to a needy single mother in the form of a down payment on a new home.

Learning new things

2007-05-22T07:56:00.000-07:00

In the abysmal absence of football news, I find myself reading more abot the baseball Sun Devils than ever before. There is a great article by Jeff Metcalfe in today's AZ Republic about the upcoming seres with UA that will determine the Pac-10 title. This little tidbit is what caught my eye:

Tuesday is the 40th anniversary of what is widely regarded as the greatest ASU-UA baseball game.In a playoff for the 1967 Western Athletic Conference Southern Division title in front of 8,314 Phoenix Municipal Stadium, ASU's Gary Gentry pitched a 15-inning complete game on two days' rest in a 3-2 ASU win.
The Sun Devils went on to win the second of their five national titles.

I feel this stat bears repeating: 15-INNING COMPLETE GAME. Not only did Gentry go 15, but he only gave up two runs. Even Nolan Ryan is impresed, and that's not just the bourbon and advil talking.

Your Co-(at least) Pac-10 Champs

2007-05-21T07:55:00.000-07:00

Congrats to the ASU baseball team for sweeping defending national champs Oregon State in Corvallis this weekend, locking down at least a tie for the Pac-10 regular season championship. All the Devils have to do to clinch is win one out of three at home this weekend against U of A, who will undoubtedly have upset on their minds. Self-congratulations should probably be kept to a minimum considering the history of this rivalry (see Cecil, Chuck: 1986.), but at the very least it's good to see the Sun Devils peaking at the right time, having swept the Beavers and UCLA on consecutive weekends. If UA somehow sweeps ASU this weekend, the Devils and Cats would tie for the Pac-10 title so nothing can be taken lightly.

In a somewhat related story, ASU softball advanced to a super regional to be held in Tempe. Um, yay? Sorry but I just can't get too excited about softball. Even in May. Supposedly golf, track, and gymnastics are good too, but who has time?

The scandalous conclusion

2007-05-17T14:30:00.000-07:00

So here we are, the nitty gritty of the finest embarrassments ASU has to offer. Like the hippie olympics, it really doesn't matter who wins since they're all losers. For good measure, let's take roll one last time:

Honorable Mention: Courtney Simpson and Eddie House
#11: Courtney Jackson
#10: Bryson Krueger
#9: Ryan Kealy
#8: Connor Banks
#7: JR Redmond
#6: Hakim Hill
#5: Barry Bonds
#4: UAC student section (basketball, 1984-1988)

And without further adieu, the top criminals in the history of Arizona State University.

Honorable mention part III: the military industrial complex, 2004-present. They murdered Pat Tillman and lied to cover it up. Not much to say since more facts come to light each day. Is a government worth preserving when it lies to it's people?

Somewhat ironic thet they're seen here together.

#3: Mitchell "Fright Night" Freedman, football, 1994-1998. First, watch this. That's how he played all the time. Mean, crazy, and angry. Unfortunately that's also how he lived his life. Freedman is the only player on this list that gets his nickname on the subject line because it fits him so well, as Orson from EDSBS will attest. He once hit a BYU player so hard that both Freedman and the Mormon went to the hosptal after the game, and I have been told by those in attendance that he was screaming while running towards the victim. Where to begin? Well, how about this snippet from the AZ Republic:

Mitchell Dehaven Freedman, 30, a safety who earned the nickname "Fright Night" because of the ferocity of his tackles, was found guilty of 15 counts, including five counts of sexual assault, four counts of sexual abuse, kidnapping, aggravated assault and armed robbery. He could face more than 100 years in prison for the sexual assault charges alone.
And then he still faces trial on two other rape cases, one from 2003 and one that allegedly took place in 1992, when Freedman was 16.

Yikes. What's even scarier is that he wasn't even tried for the rapes that happened when he was a minor "because he was already going away for so long." I...I don't really know what else to say here. It's hard to imagine but his prison sentence may be longer than Loren Wade's after all is said and done.

#2 Stevin Smith, Basketball, 1991-1994. You knew it was coming, and why shouldn't it top the list? Smith, nicknamed "Hedake" by his teammates, orchestrated a point shaving scandal in 1994 that espn will never let die. Isaac Burton shouldn't be getting off lightly either, but Smith seems to be the main guy everyone remembers, probably since he was such an effective player when he wasn't, you know, cheating.

The scandal started when Smith got into cahoots with the now famous campus bookie Benny Silman. Smith was allegedly in debt to him for over $10,000, and the two plotted to beat Oregon State by six or fewer points when the Devils were favored by 14 1/2. It worked and managed to line both of their pockets quite well. The exact same plan was employed two days later against Oregon State, and the Devils once again won by 6.

The final straw was the day of a game against Washington, after Smith and Silman began to gloat about their recent financial successes. The word spread quickly, and heavy betting ensued- so much so, in fact, that the line on the game changed 40 times that day and Vegas oddsmaker Roxy Roxborough pulled the game from the betting board, the first time he had done so in his 15-year career. The FBI was notified, but the investigations didn't take place until 1997, enough time for Smith, Burton, and then head coach Bill Frieder to leave the scene of the crime. The fallout landed squarely on those left to continue ASU men's basketball.

Hedake (misspelled on purpose to fit on the vanity plate of his car) did 10 months in federal prison, but the stink of the scandal still hasn't completely lifted from ASU. His 10 months isn't so bad considering Silman got four years, but Silman also got a tv-movie deal out of it. Whenever ASU basketball is mentioned, point-shaving is typically associated with it. I suppose that's better than "sucks," but still defaming. It is the black eye that will never heal.

#1: Loren Wade, football, 2002-2004. The official site has removed his player bio from their archives, and rightfully so. What kind of a school do we have when players are murdering former teammates, outside of a club no less? The arguement started one night in Scottsdale and was reportedly about a girl. As Brandon Falkner was pulling away, Wade fired a fatal shot into the driver's side window of his car. While this is sickening as a Sun Devil, the societal ills it brings to light are equally alarming. There are no winners here: the Falkner family is burdened with overwhelming grief, ASU has been sued, Koetter was blamed for a lack of control, and Wade will be imprisoned for life. A truly sad moment for anyone involved.

The son of scandals

2007-05-17T12:05:00.000-07:00

We're taking a break from admonishing football players today, but it's amazing how many of the names on this list have come from the gridiron. Maybe that huffy, overly academic and damn proud of it econ professor of yours was right about football being barbaric and mind numbing. Screw him. As the great James Caan once said, "when was the last time 80,000 fans showed up to watch a damn chemistry experiment?!" Speaking of old professors, can anyone tell me if Dr. Fuchs is still teaching chemistry at ASU? He's nothing like the fictional prof mentioned above, but he was 100-something years old when I had him in 1998. He's actually a really nice guy who goes to a lot of ASU baseball games- I'll go out on a limb and call him the Frank Kush of chemistry, having received his PhD from Arizona State College in 1936. Sidetracked? Apologies.

The Sun Devil embarrassment list continues, but not before seeing who else is already on it.

Honorable mention: Courtney Simpson and Eddie House
#11: Courtney Jackson
#10: Bryson Krueger
#9: Ryan Kealy
#8: Connor Banks
#7: JR Redmond
#6: Hakim Hill

And away we go...

#5: Barry Bonds, Baseball, 1982-1986. Ahhh, now we're getting somewhere. For every ounce of pride I have when thinking that a Sun Devil will hold the most revered individual record in all of sports, there are five ounces of shame. Bonds' "achievement" (note spooky quotes) will tarnish Hank Aaron, the game of baseball, and eventually the Hall of Fame. One can argue that everyone else in baseball is doing it, but Bonds, along with McGwire, will be at the top of the memory list 50 years from now when folks begin reminiscing about the steroid era.

The tricky part of all of this is that there isn't any real proof. Bonds could be higher on the list if we actually knew he was using steroids, but then again he might not be. Part of what has made this story a circus is all of the mystery that surrounds it, dragging out exhaustive speculation. The only way this thing will ever end is if the truth comes out. Think about it- people still want to know who shot JFK, where Amelia Earhart is, and what happened to the Lindbergh baby. This will stand the test of time as well.

I'm a staunch believer in a man being innocent until proven guilty, but c'mon. Look at these pictures:

These are actually the same person.

Sorry, Barry, I'm not buying what you're selling- unless you get traded to the Cubs. On a side note, the University is apparently ignoring the swirling rumors because the official site has a ton of information on Bonds and the chase for Aaron's record, including a few more (incriminating)pictures from Bonds' ASU days.

#4: Student Section, University Activity Center, 1984-1988. Anybody who has ever read this site knows my passionate hatred for the University of Arizona and everything it represents, but it is possible to go too far. UA shooting guard Steve Kerr's father was murdered in 1984 while he was the president of the American University in Beirut, and Kerr didn't receive the warmest welcome in his first trip back to the hardwood.

There's a lot of conflicting information on the exact timeline of events, but Tucson legend will tell you that two days after the murder Steve cried before a game against ASU in Tempe but took the floor anyway. Rather than a warm reception, he was welcomed by chants of PLO! PLO! PLO!, not to mention other slurs such as Where's your dad? and Go back to Beirut! Kerr responded by dropping 20 first-half points on the Devils in yet another rout of ASU.

Having been to more than my fair share of ASU/UA basketball games, I'm positive that this actually happened, the only conflicts in the story are when it happened. Whle the murder happened in '84, the 20-point first half happened in '88. My personal guess is that the jeering happened all four times Kerr took the floor in Tempe. Not that I condone it or anything, that's just my experience with the locals.

An open letter to Herb Sendek

2007-05-16T11:18:00.000-07:00

Dear Herb,

This is our goal. Make Wells Fargo Arena look like this. Let me know what I can do to help.

Cheers,

Jon

Scandals, etc.

2007-05-16T07:42:00.000-07:00

The list continues today with the top ten scandals not nearly as bad as the Brandon Faulkner tragedy/Loren Wade embarrassment. Here's what we have so far:

Honorable mention: Courtney Simpson & Eddie House
#11: Courtney Jackson
#10: Bryson Krueger
#9: Ryan Kealy
#8: Connor Banks

...and so on. We're sticking with the gridiron once again today since I can't seem to be able to dig up any dirt on Grace Park or Paul Casey. Away we go!

#7: JR Redmond, football, 1995-1999. I actualy heard this story two days before it broke from a good friend that worked at Sun Devil Stadium. It's a weird one, so stick with me. It was announced on a Friday that Redmond wouldn't play in the following day's matchup against the Oregon Ducks, a game that had serious implications on the Pac-10 race. Redmond's girlfriend worked for the University and, as most relationships go, bought her boyfriend presents, did his laundry, etc. Redmond's draft stock rose throughout his career and he was projcted to go in the late first/early second round of the upcoming NFL Draft.

The girlfriend was well aware of this and threatened to report all of the girlfriendly things she had done (and kept reciepts for) to the NCAA unless Redmond married her without a pre-nuptial agreement. A university employee is prohibited by the NCAA from giving gifts to student-athletes, and the bitch wanted to be legally tied to the millions Redmond was projected to make in the NFL.

The not-so-happy couple went to Las Vegas during the bye week, got a shotgun wedding, and returned to Tempe with dollar signs in her eyes. Redmond finally broke down and told Coach Snyder the gory details, so Snyder suspended him a game just for good measure and he reported everything that happened to the NCAA himself. The wedding was anulled and to my knowledge the bitch didn't get a cent after Redmond went pro. Redmond wasn't able to shake the stink of the scandal by draft day and he eventualy went to the New England Patriots in the third round, where he won a world championship and was an integral part of the game-winning drives of both Super Bowl XXXVI and the "snow bowl" AFC Championship that preceeded it.

This is so high on the list because JR Redmond is one of my all-time favorite Sun Devils and an absolute badass.

#6: Hakim Hill, football, 2001-2003. In a football-serious college town like Iowa City, it's surprising when the home school doesn't recruit a talented, decorated, and successful local athlete but hey, it takes a special person to get banned from a country. Hill was recruited by Dirk Koetter, most likely due to alumni pressure since his father happens to be ASU legend JD Hill. Hill's recruitment was altered due to rape charges he picked up in high school, but that's only the beginning, as his rap sheet is longer than anyone else on this list. Koetter kicked him off the team for punching teammate Matt Miller following a loss to Arizona. A lot of people wanted to punch Miller in the face after dropping a pass on the goal line that sealed the loss, but people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones as Hill himself fumbled on the goal line that awful, awful day, not that I'm bitter or anything.

Hill's problems include multiple DUI's, stealing paintball equipment, bribing cops, fighting cops, the aforementioned charge of raping a 15 year-old in a classroom, along with some drunk and disorderly conduct. He has been booted off the team at both ASU and Northern Iowa, plus Toronto and Saskatchewan of the CFL. Add to that, he has tarnished the image of one of ASU's all-time greats. He was part of one of ASU's deepest backfields since 1996, including the foursome of Hakim Hill, Randy Hill, Cornell Canidate, and- you guessed it- Loren Wade. A year later, those four were arrested, injured, injured, and arrested, so Rudy Burgess converted from WR to fill the void and asserted his badassery at running back.

ASU Scandals, continued

2007-05-15T08:27:00.000-07:00

No, not the halftime bar upstairs from Julio's Too. You're thinking of Fumbles. Not the skeezy local bar on Tybee Island, either. Today we continue our countdown of ten ASU scandals not quite as bad as the Loren Wade/Brandon Faulkner situation.

Honorable mention part II: Eddie House, basketball, 1995-1999. Best joke on campus in the fall of 1997: Hey, did you know that Eddie House leads the team in steals? He got a CD player, a bike, a car...yada yada yada. House stole a CD player from a freshman girl's Manzanita dorm room, but he doesn't crack the top ten as this was merely an exclamation point at the end of the Bill Frieder era at ASU. More on this later in the week, but Bill Frieder's legacy lived on even after the FBI chased him out.

#9: Ryan Kealy, football, 1996-2000. A guy that will go down as one of the most hated football players in ASU history, Kealy was known on the field for sailing passes, ruptured knee tendons, and a quality of play that actually got worse as time went on. Off the field, he was known to be a drunken moron, a man-whore, and a big fan of the booger sugar. At parties, fellow players were known to make fun of him- not exactly what you want to hear about a team leader. Kealy was pulled over in the middle of the intersection of Rio Salado Parkway and Packard Drive, barefoot, drunk, and hopped up on pain killers from yet another knee surgery. When the cop approached the vehicle and gave the standard line of questioning, Kealy offered this classic quote: "I ain't trippin'. I got a good lawyer. My dad is a big baller. Let's go, let's roll." Kealy planned to apply for a 6th year of eligibility, but the newly hired Dirk Koetter told him not to bother as he wouldn't be allowed on the team.

#8: Connor Banks, football, 2001-2004. In April 2004 Pat Tillman was killed in Afghanistan and was immediately dubbed an American hero for the sacrifices he made to defend his country. Banks wore number 42 at the time, and even though plans had been made to retire Tillman's #42 at season's end, Banks would be allowed to wear it during his senior season and he would also lead the team out of the tunnel before each game while carrying the American flag. Here's the quote from Banks regarding the honor:

"I feel so much pride for what he has done for the community and this nation. For him to give up his football career and go overseas to fight for his country and fight for what he feels is right is a great thing for the nation."

In June 2004, less than two months after the aforementioned incidents, Banks was arrested for DUI, criminal damage, driving across a median, and striking a fixture on the highway. He blew a .27 BAC and was so drunk that he drove his SUV into his Scottsdale apartment building. Banks had a lackluster senior year while wearing jersey number 58.

You call that a scandal?

2007-05-14T13:15:00.000-07:00

With the Loren Wade trial coming at the lowest of low points of college athletics offseason (what's a baseball?), I'll be ignoring the whole negative PR-fest with all of my might. The Arizona Republic will mention Arizona State University twice as many times as the tragically slain Brandon Faulkner, something the school definitely doesn't need given its sketchy record over the last decade or so.

What trial?

What ASU really needs is a Wag The Dog-style distraction of epic proportions to keep this thing buried in the back of the paper. I can't say I'm rooting for a terrorist attack or anything, even though it was effective when my fraternity got kicked off campus thanks to a drunk driver- not that you ever heard about it since it happened during the first week of September 2001.

In the spirit of black eyes for ASU, I've compiled a small list of scandals in the 85281. None of them are as bad as a player killing a former teammate, but it didn't take more than a single sitting to come up with #'s 2-11. We'll do a couple of them at a time, just so you Sun Devil diehards have something to read other than Wade's affiliation with ASU and Dirk Koetter's percieved lack of institutional control. Without further adieu...

Honorable mention: Courtney Simpson. Ex-ASU cheerleader goes porno in dashing style, making her professional debut in her ASU cheer uniform. No reason to beat this dead horse, especially since the M-Zone mentions her at least once a week.

#11: Courtney Jackson, football, 1996-1999. The scapegoat of the 1997 Rose Bowl, sure, but this tale isn't as well known as that debacle. Like the last minute breakdown against Ohio State, however, Jackson had accomplices. In the spring of 1998 a friend of mine, who we'll call Nate, came down with a case of the crabs. He got them from the supreme queen of jizz-jars of Sonora Hall, who claims to have gotten them from Jackson. You would have thought David Boston burned them all off the previous January, but oh no. Not a news story, sure, but still funny. Everyone needs another reason to hate Courtney Jackson. Disagree? Just check out this photo. That's ASU's national championship in Boston's hands.

#10: Bryson Krueger, men's basketball, 2004-2006. This is a lot lower on the list than it probably ought to be, but it stays at ten since absolutely no one gives a hoot about ASU hoops. The upcoming basketball season was looking bright with the firing of Rob Evans and a starting backcourt of Kevin Kruger and Bryson Krueger. Kevin transferred to UNLV and led them to the sweet sixteen, but Bryson's fate was not so sweet. He was arrested last March for possession of Ex, Coke, Zanex, and an unregistered .40-cal handgun. Again, this is a big deal for a hometown athlete who could be considered a standout on a divison-1 basketball team, but it's ASU basketball. In 2005-2006, the Devils could hardly be considered D-1.

The list continues this week with DUI's, theft, and other federal charges. Stay tuned!

UofA atop the BCS!

2007-05-04T13:48:00.000-07:00

...in terms of scholarships revoked. Ha. Ha. Ha.

The Wildcats lose four scholarships for low APR scores, a mathematical formula as complicated as the BCS that determines if athletes are making efforts as student-athletes. While UofA loses four football scholarships, ASU football actually improved their score. Fear not, Tucson faithful: you don't have that far to fall since you're already at the bottom. This most recent revokation brings their total to seven lost scholi's over the last two years, a penalty they're blaming on former coach John Mackovic. (Still? Yes, still.) Tempe's favorite coach since since Frank Kush takes the heat since graduation rates are factored in, and the player exodus his incompetence caused three years ago affects this year's score. They are the only BCS conference school to lose any scholarships, and they are fourth overall behind NAU, Temple, and San Jose State- a team coached by former head wildcat Dick Tomey. That Tucson filth just doesn't wash off.

Four! Four scholarships revoked! Ah ah ah!

People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, but what's done is done and I'm not apologizing. ASU basketball remains in the APR red and scholis were lost last year, but they have been restored and all things are looking up with Herb at the helm. The Sun Devil hoopsters actually scored lower than UA football, but there's this sneaky little factor in the formula known as "team size adjustment" that adjusts the severity of other factors to prevent heavy influence by statistical outliers. Sorry kitties, you lose again, but you're used to that sort of thing by now.

A statement from Chad Green's mother

2007-05-02T11:46:00.000-07:00

from theSunDevils.com:

Statement from Kay Green, Chad Green's Mother
Green's condition has stabilized enough for him to be transported to Southern California

April 30, 2007

"I would like to thank Chad's ASU coaches, teammates, fans and friends for all of their support during this difficult time. That support has meant a lot to our family. Chad's condition has stabilized enough for us to transport him to a step-down facility in California near our home. Chad continues to gradually improve and with your support we are all hopeful for continued improvement in his condition. We urge people who want to send something to Chad to continue to forward it to the Sun Devil Football Office. That correspondence means a lot to the Green family. Thank you."

Anyone interested in sending a card or a note to Chad and the Green family, please send it to:

Chad Green c/o The Sun Devil Football Office Arizona State University The Carson Center P.O. Box 872505 Tempe, Arizona, 85287-2505

We're all rooting for you, Chad.

Regular Old Crackers for your starved football soul

2007-04-26T11:12:00.000-07:00

While I am no fan of espn, I try to always give credit where credit is due. Page 2 of their website has a fascinating article outlining the NFL Draft's first round busts over the last 15 or so years. It's a fun toy that helps you relive such promising collegiate/disappointing NFL careers like Ryan Leaf, Ki-Jana Carter, and Heath Shuler. Did you know that Shuler is a North Carolina congressman? Stupid basketball state. At least in Oklahoma they elect winners like JC Watts and Steve Largent.

To quench your Sun Devil thirst, here is a link to the "This Is Sun Devil Football" section of the 2006 media guide, chock full of photo collages which are always fun for all. For cheap, evil laughs, page 34 of your .pdf has a slew of notable quotes about the departed coach Koetter and what a genius football mind he possesses. You can peruse the rest of the media guide by section at this link.

Finally, tomorrow is my 28th birthday so there will be no posting due to me sneaking out of the office for some quality day drinking. If you care to join me this weekend for beverages, draft watching, and tales of how dominant Terrell Suggs was at ASU, drop me a line at houseofheat -at- gmail.com.
These eyes are either lusting after a quarterback or a double whopper. You make the call, but get out of the way. Quick.

How do you know when times are tough?

2007-04-20T05:38:00.000-07:00

When you hire Rob Evans as a basketball coach. Ouch.

The University of Arkansas is obviously too distracted by Las Chronicas Locas De Boss Hawg to do any research on their new assistant, for if they did they might reconsider. In the AP write-up, Evans doesn't even have any career achievements listed from his last seven years of coaching, all of which happened to take place at ASU.

Take solace, Fayetteville: teams named "U of A" have fared remarkably well in Evans' presence over the last 8 years.

Evans, seen here taking a dump at Wells Fargo Arena. (as usual)

I haven't got ballplayers, I've got girls

2007-04-18T14:00:00.000-07:00

Samantha Micelli and the Slim-Fast spokesman!

Based on the clothes and the non-revealing angle, I thought this photo was taken in the 1980's and felt guilty, like the kind of guilt one has when Dateline NBC comes busting through your door- not that I would know. Upon further review it seems that it was only taken 5 months ago, and then only the jealousy of Tommy Lasorda remained, something I never thought would ever happen. It seems that Alyssa Milano of Who's The Boss fame (and some stupid witch show, whatever) writes her own baseball blog. (HT: Scott) Call it gender bias, but I usually expect a female sports blog to be a few short-lived scribblings with phrases like "tee-hee" everywhere, but she's actually quite literate. A few quick things I noticd while perusing *touch* em all:

* She's a Dodger fan, so I can only assume that she shows up late for dates and leaves early.
* She offers female baseball fan insight without a single comment about anyone's butt.
* She thinks 2001 World Series hero Luis Gonzalez throws like a girl. Hhhhhooootttttt.

My other expectation of the site was tht it was all a front to push some cleavage-laden Hollywood vehicle, but it's only marketing the line of baseball apparrel Alyssa designed for women. Ok, minus one for corporate ties, but it's obvious that she's a true fan and for this welcome her to the blogosphere. Check her out, as long as you're not a SF Giants fan.

Should Tech cancel their spring game?

2007-04-17T17:55:00.000-07:00

What we think matters not because they have. The rest of the Hokies' spring practices have been cancelled, including this saturday's orange and maroon game and all other athletic events.

After the events of September 11, 2001, the country needed baseball to ease it's mind and to distract us all from the terror. The boys of summer took a week off, but their return culminated in one of the most exciting World Series in history, where not only the city of New York but the entire country (sans Arizona) rallied around the Yankees' playoff run. Living in Tempe at the time, the Diamondbacks' journey to the World Championship was an island of everything right about our country within an ocean of chaos. Conversely, the NFL cancelled its games on the following Sunday, with their primary fallback excuse being that the league's greatest mistake was playing games two days after the assassination of president Kennedy in 1963.

Would the spring game be too soon? Hokie football is king in Blacksburg, and an intersquad scrimmage- even if it was noncontact- would be a way for the locals to rally around the team and begin the healing process. It's hard for me to criticize from the outside, but I think cheering for a common cause with fellow sufferers would prove to be a bonding experience for so many sufferers. There were more folks than usual here in Richmond sporting Hokie gear today, although I'm not sure if it was their way of mourning or supporting. Either way, something so familiar as a loud and full Lane Stadium could be an emotional and moving ritual for all involved.

To the decision-makers in Blacksburg: I implore you that if the game must remain cancelled, at least reschedule it in the near future. Your students, faculty, alumni, and fan base need it.

A sad, sad week

2007-04-17T09:10:00.000-07:00

Things here in Virginia are dismal at best. On top of it being the coldest April in 100 years, yesterday's events in Blacksburg have rocked the entire state. Virginia Tech is the people's school of the Commonwealth and they carry a tight, familial alumni base. Stories are circulating all over town about friend's friends that were involved or affected, and I'm afraid to watch the news any longer for fear of even more bad news. There are candlelight vigils being held at campuses and churches everywhere this week; please send your thoughts and prayers to the families of the victims.

In less publicized news, UA running back Xavier Smith lost his mother late last week to multiple gunshots.

All rivalries aside, best wishes to the Smith family.

The Sun Devil family awoke to some frightful news of their own on Sunday morning as CB Chad Green was in a Scottsdale ICU after a collision with a drunk driver in Tempe around 3 am. His condition is still listed as critical but guarded, as the doctors won't really know what's going on until the swelling goes down.

Green, #21, puts a lick on Brandon Smith. Photo credit: 4VRADVL.com

A healthy dose of compassion for all is in order. Thoughts and prayers.

In the bittersweet but incredibly uplifting due to other circumstances department, former ASU recruit Angelo Richardson was at the spring game on Saturday. He was on the sidelines, wheelchair bound, during the game and was given a maroon Sun Devil jersey with his name and number on the back. ASU and the Keller family have organized fund raising efforts for A-Rich since a gunshot wound yielded paralysis nearly a year ago. His rehab is going well and he will be attending ASU in the fall with the aspiration of becoming a sports agent. The university has vowed to honor his scholarship so that he may complete his degree, even though he will likely never play football again. He keeps in contact with many current Sun Devil players and Coach Koetter in Jacksonville. Hod has an excellent interview with him at Devils Digest.

Photo credit: 4VRADVL.com

Spring games impresses few

2007-04-16T06:02:00.000-07:00

This does not look like a satisfied coach.

It sounds like there is still a lot of work to do on both sides of the ball, particularly the offense. This quote from Head Coach Dennis Erickson is probably the most telling:

“We have a long way to go, we really do... we’re not even close to where we need to be to be successful in this conference."

Ouch. Headlines from the major papers include "Nothing abuzz in ASU football spring game" and "Offense sluggish in spring game," subtle words that denote an apparent end to the Erickson honeymoon.

While the defense is improved, largely due to emotion and a new found aggressive attitude, the offense looks to have as many if not more issues than it did last year. Rudy has a hitch in his throwing motion that has apparently worsened over time. Receivers still can't run precise routes. Rudy C. locks in to Brandon Smith too often. Zach Miller will sorely be missed as there is little depth behind Brent Miller. Rudy Burgess was notcably less than 100% even though he led all receivers with 73 yards on seven catches, which speaks volumes considering he missed almost all of of the spring practices. Then again, he is the shizznit.

He wins the award for best use of helmet stickers, too.

Five turnovers is way too many, even for a practice. Carp's excuse was that "it’s the fact that a lot of guys touched the ball, that don’t get to touch the ball on an every down basis. If you don’t touch the ball that much you have a chance for more turnovers." That's a horsepoopy excuse if I've ever heard one, and the quarterback making excuses for poor play on the part of others is getting old. How about protecting the rock and not letting others strip it for a change? Yay to the D for going after it, but cardinal rule #1 on offense is to not turn the ball over. Besides, are you telling me that Ryan Torain isn't an every down back? Shut up, stupid. Sam Keller still pwns you and he displayed it in his spring debut in Lincoln, oh by the way.

Back to ASU's offense, the most dangerous set ought to be a three-wide with Burgess, Kyle Williams, and Brandon Smith lined up at receiver, with Miller at tight end and Torain in the backfeld. Smith posesses serious deep-ball speed, Williams the ability to make people miss, and Rudy Fucking Burgess can do anything he wants when he's 100%. Torain can pound the ball up the middle as well as anyone in the Pac-10 this year and he's very good on catching the ball in the flat. Sophomore RB Dmitri Nance has been working his way up the depth chart using the same characteristics and many think he has passed Keegan Herring as the #2 back at Arizona State. Some have said that Herring has not improved at all since setting the ASU freshman rushing record three years ago.

The Saia Falahola experiment looks like it will pay off for the Devils, as the high school offensive lineman who was known for his aggressive style and pancake-blocking ability has switched into a mean, lane-clogging defensive tackle. Ryan McFoy's switch to linebacker could still pay off, but he'll need to add some muscle to be able to stuff the run. That may be moot before long, though, since the corner position opposite Justin Tryon is glaringly vacant, especially with the late news that Chad Green is in a Scottsdale ICU after a violent early-morning collision with a drunk driver. The way things are shaping up, any team with more than one competent WR on the field at a time will exploit the Sun Devil secondary for muchos yard-os. Many are calling for current high school senior Omar Bolden to step up and play when he arrives on campus in the fall.

Kicking is going to be an adventure. Punting has been adequate at best, while long-snaping and placekicking have been nothing short of adventurous. Thomas Weber looks like money when he's 50+ yards out, but anything inside the half-century mark is a severe challenge. To make up for it though, Weber made an extra point on a snap that bounced twice on the way to the placeholder. You never know how valuable a long snapper is until you lose one. What's even more worrisome is that we don't have coach Tom Osbourne to throw under the bus anymore.

Rudy Carpenter needs to live up to his team leader and gym rat reputation by getting the receivers out to the practice field and working with them. One thing that seemed to plague last year's team was that with a glut of average receivers splitting up limited playing time, there was never a good chemistry with the quarterback throughout the season. There is talent at wideout, but it is very raw. Coach Erickson needs to foster some competition at this crucial position to get these guys working out extra hard in the off-season, making it abundantly clear that talent is breathing down their necks in the forms of Mike Jones and Chris McGaha.

So here we are facing a long, hot summer in the desert, where once again the team's greatest weaknesses are at corner, defensive line, and special teams. It's harsh to place such judgement on a team that is learning new schemes and coaches, but there are a lot of things that currently appear to be broken. The passion will undoubtedly be there, but will the execution? Time will tell, I suppose, but spring practices offered little insight on next season. The talent is there to be optomistic, but I can think of plenty of reasons to be guarded about any predictions.

My baseless, unqualified prediction for the 2007 Sun Devils: 8-4 with a loss to U of A, as much as I hate to say it. A slightly improved record based on a favorable schedule, but no real upgrade from ASU v. 20.06. We'll see how things shake up in August at Camp Tontozona and go from there.

The most dumbest thing I've read all day

2007-04-13T08:20:00.000-07:00

Bowl game? I would have rather not went, if the Cats would be embarassed by the "Rainbows".

You can only imagine which camp spewed this nonsense. A lot of chest-thumping coming from someone that hasn't seen a bowl game since the Clinton administration. Read the entire pissing match on "the gap" between ASU and UA at this ridiculous message board link.

EDIT: Boy oh boy does this ever chap my ass. Here's the Scout.com member profile for that mongoloid.

Echo from the butte

2007-04-10T13:33:00.000-07:00

Hayden Butte, in all it's glory.

"A" Mountain, or Hayden Butte if you're all accurate and shit, is the natural landmark at the North end of ASU's campus. This article in the AZ Republic gives a brief history of the rock and the letters that have been emblazoned on its face, which have included "N," "T," and the solid concrete "A" that sits there today.

Reading the article brought back a swath of memories from my undergrad days in Tempe, including my second day on campus. I had read somewhere in the grandiose pile of freshman literature that it was a tradition to whitewash the "A" as a freshman, so I trekked up the face of that large hill in 110+ degree weather and slopped on a coat with the Student Alumni Association, which I soon joined. The lure of the organization was that their mission statement included the promotion of traditions, and what better way for an East Coast exile to learn about his new school? It didn't take long to realize that ASU didn't really have many traditions, but that's neither here nor there. My duties mostly included repainting the "A" gold after someone else vandalized it, which worked out to about once a week.

The few traditions in which I participated, including Lantern Walk, were actually pretty cool; the Butte looks surreal when several thousand feet of white Christmas lights are strapped to it's face and fireworks are going off overhead. However ASU's greatest traditions- drinking and girls- were a regular staple in the 85281 during my tenure. The point is this- Take part in tradition you undergrads, even if that means starting new ones. These are the stupid little things that will connect you with your alma mater in the future, whatever it may be. Besides, it's stories like these that keep your kids from bugging you.

One last thing- we need to come up with a nickname for Sun Devil Linebacker Morris Wooten. I'll suck a cock on the Golden Gate Bridge before I endure another two years of an ASU player with the nickname "Cat,"*** so don't even bother with the "9 Lives" routine. Try using an idea along the lines of "Woo-tang," or God forbid something original. Leave comments beow.

***- No offense to Zach Catanese, who is a total badass.

Regular Old Crackers

2007-04-05T15:08:00.000-07:00

After a whiny email from a good friend (re: loyal reader) I realized that I should probably mention something about spring practices and how apparently awesome they have been. There has actually been a lot to read during spring practices, so much so that it’s been hard finding time to write about it. A quick summary, if you will:

* Practices have been fast-paced, hard hitting, and the players are actually enjoying them. They have been so hard hitting, in fact, that several players have missed practice time due to concussions and headaches.

* Rudy Fucking Burgess had his first practice yesterday [Monday, actually -ed.] after missing the first week of spring ball due to lingering problems with a high-ankle sprain he suffered late last year (stupid defense). Rudy Carpenter said he looked good and that he will definitely be an asset because of his wealth of game experience.

RFB, straight pimpin'.

* It looks like the running game will be the best it’s been since the days of JR Redmond. Ryan Torain will be just as good as he was last season and should contend for 1st team Pac-10 honors. Keegan Herring has missed some practices due to injury but Dmitri Nance has been doing a great job in his absence. Coach E thinks Nance will see plenty of playing time because of his ability to catch the ball out of the backfield.

* Zach Krula is back on the offensive line after missing the majority of the last two seasons with a broken ankle. He is supposedly knocking people around and should be the best Hell Hog this year.

* Rudy Carpenter played most of last year with broken hands. And here I thought he just sucked.

* Coach Erickson likes the talent of the receivers but sees that they are inexperienced and need coaching. He thinks that Brandon Smith could be as good as current Cincinnati Bengal Chad Johnson was when DE coached him at Oregon State- if he puts the work in. Smith is 6’3” and runs a 4.3 40-yard dash. True sophomore WR Kyle Williams has been burning people in practice, including a 70-yard TD off of a short pass in the first scrimmage.

* Morris Wooten, a JuCo signee from Glendale CC, looks like one of the top linebackers on the team and is being compared to former ASU/GCC badass Dale Robinson, who won Pac-10 co-defensive player of the year two seasons ago. Ryan McFoy is being moved from safety to linebacker. Coach E cited his speed, hard-hitting nature and pass-coverage skills as the reason. He’ll need to bulk up, but I think he has the talent to do it. One of the reasons for the move is that Troy Nolan has been knocking people on their asses at practice, and paired with senior Josh Barrett they should be a couple of good safeties. Pat Tillman look-alike Travis Goethel will be the third starting LB. Our defensive weaknesses, as usual, are at one corner and interior D-line.

* We might actually be able to kick this year!

* There is also this warm fuzzy article by espn's Ivan Maisel.

* Also of note, AnswertheScratch.com has renamed itself SUNDEVILGRIDIRON.COM. I think it's required to be spelled in caps, or Frank Kush will hunt me down and barbecue my carcass. It's mostly the same content, but there is a new 'fan story' and the intro video features Erickson and Kush together, salivating at the fact that ASU is going to run the ball and play physically. A novel idea, sure, but you get the sense while watching that Coach Kush really hated Koetter's schemes. That's ok though, most of us did anyway. Now if we could only get rid of those cursed 'Sun Devil Laws.'