Thursday, September 06, 2007


All is right in the world- it's football season!

Apologies for the lightish posting this week as real life has been a bitch. It's been a disease-ridden, loud-mouthed whore of a bitch, so much so that I currently can't access the internet during work hours. Pitchfork Nation will have to do for now. Sorry folks.

As for a quick review of the Spartan smack-down, I was part of the radio audience on Saturday night so it's tough to judge a team's performance by a homer announcer and his alumni sidekick (Healy and Van Rapphorst). Few games can be summed up in a single word, but this one can: efficient. Carpenter was 14/20 (70%) with no picks, the defense allowed 115 total yards, and Torain and Herring combined to average over six yards per carry. Torain didn't see the second half and Robert James won Pac-10 Defensive Player of the Week.

James' wallet says bad mother fucker on it.

For an even quicker dash through last week's games, here's a blurb regarding each game I watched:

* LSU should probably be #1.

* Everything everyone said about UW's Jake Locker was right, except for that one guy that said he sucks. He's a moron, and the Huskies will give ASU a game in a few weeks.

* I might have been wrong about Florida dropping off after losing their QB and 10 starters on D.

* Michigan/App State? Watched the whole fucking thing, baybee! Viva sports bars with DirecTV. It was glorious, except for all of the happy Ohio State fans. It's also nice to see ASU in the news, even if it isn't the right one.

* Virginia Tech? Meh. I've been on emotion overload regarding Tech since 4/21 having lived in VA when all of that sniper business went down. They're going to get smothered by LSU this Saturday, and QB Sean Glennon is worse than anyone could have imagined.

* Ole Miss looks good enough to create a lot of disappointment for their fans. More specifically, they look better but they're still Ole Miss and they still play in the SEC. Poor bastards.

* Miami isn't back just yet, but their defense is well on their way. They could really use a quarterback not named Kirby. Also, I had no idea Randy Shannon was black. Good for him.

* Is Notre Dame gloriously bad or is Georgia Tech a lot better without Reggie Ball? A bit of both, methinks.

* BC QB Matt Ryan is worth most of his hype, and Wake Forest doesn't look like they're ready to go back to their hole at the bottom of the ACC anytime soon.

* Oklahoma? Scaaaarrry. They might run the table without a proven QB. Ohio State did the same in 2002 with a guy named Craig Krenzel, a good running game, and a monster D.

* Tennessee and the rest of the SEC can eat a dick thanks to DeSean and the boys at Cal gaining redemption over the Vols. They looked solid in all phases, but there may be a weakness somewhere on defense, just not sure where.

* Willie Tuitama's new nickname? Dizzy. Hurrah to BYU for officially putting Mike Stoops on the hot seat. If it's written on the internet, it must be true. I thought you could only go one direction from the 2006 UA offense, but they're magically worse. Don't question miracles, I suppose.

And finally, Florida State has a porous and freshman-laden O-line, but Clemson probably boasts the best defensive front the Noles will see until they travel to Gainesville to face the Gators in November. Some free advice- don't watch FSU football with FSU fans when there's a tequila collection on hand. It makes for a bitch of a Tuesday.

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Tennessee sucks. On behalf of the SEC, I refuse your offer of dick.

Good day, sir!
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