Saturday, October 13, 2007


Liveblog, Act I: smellin' what the rock is cookin'.

12:41: Enough already, Dwayne. I'm still smelling my breakfast, two unfertilized chicken zygotes and batter-dipped liberty squares.

1:02: After a slow start I finally have both tv's set up in the living room, straight Phil Steele style. I'm watching Bama-Ole Miss on one and GA Tech-Miami on the other, with VA Tech-Duke and Iowa-Illinois on the back buttons. To hell with Texas, Iowa State, Lehigh and Yale. Oh by the way, if you don't get the Lincoln Financial Sports Network, move further South and East. It's the bee's knees.

1:05: I had the sound down on Miami- what the fuck was Erin Andrews eating? I really hope this isn't a new trend in CFB broadcasting, especially after the Primanti Brothers debacle during Thursday's Pitt-Navy game. The only thing more incomprehensible than Lou Holtz is Lou Holtz with a mouth full of sammich.

1:15: For those that don't know, that stork of a mascot at Miami is Sebastian the Ibis. The ibis is a bird that is the last creature to leave a hurricane-inflicted area and the first to return. How sweet. I fucking hate the name Sebastian for anyone born in the western hemisphere. The only ones I can think of are that kid from the Neverending Story and C-Bass from Dumb and Dumber- I assume their full names are Sebastian, and the writers changed them to make them a bit less pussified. Come to think of it, Bastian was a wuss anyway. Into the dumpster, sallypants!
The Polish Powderkeg doesn't count for geographical reasons.

1:28: Flippin' sweet! Now that the Dukies are being put in their rightful place, I switched to ISU-Texas and the first play was a reverse WR pass back to the QB, BYAAAAHHHH! Iowa State is just like USC with tha color scheme and... and... they're nothing like USC. BYAAAAAHHH!

1:45: For you 2-a-days fans, Alabama QB John Parker Wilson went to Hoover High School, as did many members of the Tide. That explains the Bama bangs, for sure.

1:59: Ooooooo, Okie State's up 28 and Sam Keller is playing for a team that has no defense or special teams. Who would have thought?

2:07: Michigan's starting to look like they're supposed to, FINALLY. Now that's a sleeping giant. Halftimes are starting to creep in, so here's some funny shit to keep you occupied.

2:52: Georgia Tech has played in ten straight bowl games? Really? How that program has survived Reggie Ball is beyond me. Without Calvin Johnson, his career completion percentage probably hovers around 35%. Ball's brother Marcus plays for Florida State, but do you think they let him anywher near the football? Hell no, he's a DB.

Well said.
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