The House Of Heat

The football fans of Richmond are scurrying around looking for old Copies of US Weekly and The Sporting News trying to figure out their strategies for the upcoming Fantasy Misfit League Draft, being held Saturday at 2pm. For those of you who aren't aware of the event (and judging by the site traffic you aren't), here's a recap:

Each player will select a university, an NBA team, an NFL team, an MLB team, 2 free agent athletes, and two free agent celebrities. Points will be awarded for each incident that occurs involving one of your athletes/teams, and there will be a predetermined sliding point scale covering everything from a violation of team rules to mass genocide. The point system will be unveiled later this week; it's not a big secret or anything it's just that I haven't figured it out yet. The draft will be at Scott's house in Richmond, but if you don't feel like making the drive I'll be liveblogging the entire event, complete with snarky comments and quotes. You simply have to skip the 2 pm AA meeting and relapse at a computer with the adult beverage of your choice. If you want to join the fun, you can email your registration to me at HouseOfHeat@gmail.com. Please include the following information:

*Your "name"
*email address
*Your draft drink, as sobriety is strictly forbidden at this event
*A URL (myspace, blog page, etc. -optional)

In honor of misfits everywhere, I'll be drankin a foe-tee of O.E. Straight brown baggin it.

I'll need your info by Friday evening so I can set the draft order (scientifically picked from a hat) and get you any necessary information I haven't thought of just yet. There are a few possible conflicts that have already been brought up, So I'll address them now. Layin' down the law...


*Points will only be awarded for offenses that occur after the draft begins and before the football season officially begins (August 31, 10pm EST). If the pile of dead hookers in Derek Jeter's closet get discovered Friday night, then you can't get any points if you have the Yankees or DJ as a free agent.

Driven: half roofie, half poison








*You don't get credit for things like arraignments, sentencing, or any other fallout from the initial offense. This will keep players from getting a leg up at the draft, especially me since ASU has had some guys do some pretty naughty shit lately despite my fellow east coasters knowing nothing about it. Thanks, four-letter network.

*A single player can receive double points for a single offense. It was discussed in an earlier post, but if Paul Lo Duca goes out and kills his wife (too soon?) someone can get points if they drafted the Sun Devils, the Mets, or Lo Duca as a free agent. This may be insider info; they don't call us the Gun Devils for nothing.

*If an athlete gets cleared of charges during the season, half of the awarded points must be forfeited. Someone suggested all of them, but the accusation always leaves a stench, right Kobe? If the alleged offense happened before the league starts, a player will not receive any points.

Hope to hear from many, this should be a hoot.

Labels: anecdotal evidence, other sports, thug life