Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Is there fungus among us?
Ahhh, college. Grow your hair long, dabble in the experimentation of hallucinogenic mushrooms, be the starting center for a sweet sixteen contender. Well, I did two of those things myself, but it seems that (former?) Gonzaga center Josh Heytvelt went for the sweep and won't be playing anytime soon due to an indefinite suspension following an arrest.
Some will call this "a stupid decision" by Heytvelt, but basic economics teaches us the principles of opportunity cost, where choosing one path leads to inevitible sacrifices that could be gained by following another path. Do the costs outweigh the benefits here? Let's compare, shall we?
Hoops: Rarely more than two hours.
Shrooms: anywhere from 3-5 hours, depending on quality and quantity.
Hoops: +/- 32 games, figuring in conference and NCAA tournaments
Shrooms: any time you can find them, which in the Pacific Northwest means you're limited to days ending in "Y."
Hoops: Even in a weak conference, expecting a winning percentage over 80% is pushing it. Bad trips are possible, like driving to Oklahoma City and meeting a Kansas juggernaut.
Shrooms: There is a chance of a bad trip, but a success rate of 95%+ is normal for most folks.
Hoops upgrade: college football- longer, more intense, known to cause withdrawls.
Shrooms upgrade: acid- longer, more intense, known to cause withdrawls, but there are plenty of times when you want it to be over with.
So there you have it, with scientific proof: psychadelic mushrooms are three times better than college basketball. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.
Seriously though, felony possession? The kid plays in Spokane, Washington for chrissakes. It's not like he's smuggling them up from Mexico or anything. They grow wild all over the place up there...allegedly.
And on a side note, HERB!