Saturday, September 29, 2007
The Empire Strikes Back
Despite the complete lack of posts this week I'm still alive, but I'm not sure if that's worth a shit right now. The nun-killing pedophiles at espn have apparently started hating me back, because it's not enough to just NOT air the best game in the country in my region. Oh no, you have to spend two Goddamn hours in front of Autzen, then don't tell the local cable mafia which game will air, and then give me Clemson-Georgia Tech one one channel and Wisconsin-Michigan State on the other. Have you watched any Wisconsin games this year? It's like watching old people fuck. You have something like 20 channels, and one of them is showing cars going in circles while there's sweet, sweet football being played all over this glorious country. A tease of this magnitude is the equivalent of waving a gravy-covered chicken fried steak in front of Charlie Weis, and eventually you're going to lose a limb.
And another thing, all of the games you've aired so far have totally sucked- that's on you too, because an evil empire that's as big as yours should have influence on things like the tides and the actions of men. Even the games on the other channels have sucked so far and that may as well be your bad too, you fucking fuckbags. You know what else is your fault? The horde of trees to the south of my property preventing me from getting satellite TV service, forcing me to go to Corporate McCarpetbagger's Sports Bar and pay $7.50 for a pint of Miller Lite. Ever tried that polock piss? I use it to clean drains.
ASU's on Fox tonight, suckas. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, you bunch of puppy kickers.
Labels: hatred for the 4-letter network