Wednesday, September 19, 2007


More than you ever cared to know about: The Oregon State Beavers

The Vitals
Name: Oregon State University
Location: Corvallis, OR
Established: 1858
Enrollment: 19,362
Motto: Open Minds, Open Doors
Colors: Orange and Black
Mascot: Benny the Beaver
Stadium: Reser Stadium, capacity 46,000
Conference: Pac-10

While the school was founded as a prep school (Corvallis Academy) in 1858, it didn’t add college classes until 1865 and the first degrees were issued five years later in 1870, so it seems that Oregonians have been smoking weed and slacking off since the beginning of time (not that I have room to poke fun at folks for taking over four years to graduate). The campus was designed by Frederick Law Olmstead, the father of modern landscape architecture, to showcase the local trees and brick structures.

Nature, nature, nature. Do those people care about anything other than trees? You too can become a Master Gardener at Oregon State. OSU’s College of Forestry is also a consensus #1 in the nation as well. The school has roots (no pun intended) as an agricultural institution and it’s a land grant school, so I guess it’s to be expected. We can all thank the Ag program for developing the Maraschino cherry in 1924, for without them our Manhattans would be naked.

The feather in the Beavers’ academic cap is that they are one of only two schools in the nation to possess research grants in land, sea, sun, and space. Just think, if they add a research grant for Milla Jovovich they can surpass Cornell and have all five elements!

Notable Alumni
Heh heh, Beavers. Say no more, as OSU graduated TWO Playboy PMOY’s, Jodi Paterson (1998) and Sara Underwood (2006).

No available pictures of Jodi Paterson could be deemed safe for work. Find your own porn, you perv.

Some other folks too:
Douglas Englebart, inventor of the computer mouse
Pinto Colvig, the original Bozo the Clown
Leonard Shoen, founder of U-Haul
Dick Fosbury, 1968 Olympic gold medalist and inventor of the Fosbury Flop
Rich Brooks, former Oregon Duck and current Kentucky Wildcat head coach
Brent Barry, white boy dunk champ
Rick Barry, his dad and NBA hall-of-famer
Gary Payton, loud-mouthed basketball player
AC Green, born-again virgin and former LA Laker
Chad Johnson
TJ Hooshmazoo
Steven Jackson
Lots of other football players in the NFL recruited to OSU by Dennis Erickson

Other than wearing orange, mocking the Ducks’ uniforms, and making "beaver" jokes, this was surprisingly difficult to find any information. I met a few OSU undergrads in 2000 when some fraternity brothers crashed at our house for the Fiesta Bowl. They all wore shirts showing a tapped keg with the words "a drinking team with a football problem." They said that anything over 6-6 is a bonus and that they only have fun with athletics, never expecting much.

Who's making fun of whom now?

Beaver athletics were a lot of doom and gloom for most of the 20th century, but the arrival of vagabond coach Dennis Erickson changed all of that. In 2000 the Beavs went 11-1, including a 41-9 thrashing of Notre Dame in the Fiesta Bowl and a final national ranking of fourth. Before Erickson's arrival OSU had not been to a bowl game in 28 years. Although DE's stay was short, his tenure was a springboard as OSU football has seen four bowl games in the last five seasons, including last season's Sun Bowl victory over Missouri. Current head coach Mike Riley was also the head coach before Erickson's arrival, and his biggest career win would have to be upsetting USC last season.

OSU has also managed to put together a powerful baseball program that has claimed the last two National Championships. Even though Arzona State won the Pac-10 regular season championship, Oregon State got hot in the NCAA tournament and peaked to win the COllege World Series for the second year in a row. The school only has three National Championships in it's history, with the third coming in Cross Country in 1961.

Like everyone else in the Pac-10, the Beavers have a natural rivalry with the University of Oregon referred to as the Civil War. The Ducks lead the football rivalry 55-45-10 (10 ties! Jesus!) and while one might think the Ducks would possess recent dominance, they've split the last ten matchups with the Beavs and the home team has won all of them. In a Benedict Arnold fashion, Oregon State alum Rich Brooks is commonly credited with bringing the Oregon Duck football program to prominence with a series of NFL quarterback busts at the helm.

Head to Head
Not too many of these things have been close in recent years with the exception of the 2002 game when Terrell Suggs single-handedly beat the Beavers in a 13-9 defensive fight. Outside of that slugfest, the average margin of victory has been close to 23, with the two teams splitting the last four games. Overall OSU has been Sparky’s bitch as ASU leads the all-time series 23-9-1, but it was the other way around last season as the Beavers dismantled the Devils 44-10 in a rain-soaked afternoon in Corvallis. Expect revenge to be on the minds of the Sun Devils on Saturday after suffering such an embarrassing loss a year ago. ASU safety Jeremy Payton will face off against his brother Bryn, who plays safety for OSU.

Phil Steele Says…
Last year was OSU's second best in school history, but there will be a drop off in play losing QB Matt Moore and SS Sabby Piscatelli but the season should be successful and the Beavers should go bowling again. The home team is 6-1 in the last seven matchups.

I Say…
A staunch defense loses All-Conference Safety Sabby Piscatelli but they return almost everyone else and they’ll be a physical, tough bunch, especially since they possess good depth on the front seven and stay fresh by continuously rotating players. Even without Piscatelli, the Beaver secondary won’t drop off much as their corners are seasoned vets that will want to take ASU’s young receivers to school. I’ve said it before, but Matt Moore was the cog that made last year’s Oregon State machine run, both emotionally and as a playmaker. Sean Canfield is getting a grasp of the offense and it wouldn’t surprise me if these Beavers finish on a tear as they did a year ago, but I don’t think they’re there just yet. Yvenson Bernard will be a beast on the ground, but if the Devils can avoid blowing coverages like they did against Colorado and SDSU it should be 4-0 for ASU.

Related Websites
Oregon State University
Building the Dam

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