The House Of Heat

Is it dead? Damn skippy. The Sun Devils played true team basketball today to drop the Cats for the second time this season, sweeping UA on the season and winning at McKale for the first time since 1995. James Harden was limited by a flu virus and was held out of practice for most of the week, but he was able to play a majority of the game, doing all of the little things that are usually overshadowed by his scoring touch. Three steals, five rebounds (two on offense), and plenty of hustle on defense made him a factor even if he wasn't the factor. That honor belongs to Jeff Pendergraph, who dropped an ungodly 29 points on the Cats.

Pendergraph's offensive explosion didn't happen all by itself, as the Sun Devil team played in the spirit of Norman Dale's Hickory team in Hoosiers- "five pistons firing as a unit." Soph PG Derek Glasser played like a fifth-year senior, a floor general whizzing passes that even the ASU players couldn't see coming at times. I think a large fraction of Sun Devil fans let out a collective "oh crap here we go again" when Glasser fouled out (on a bullshit charge call oh by the way) with 3:33 remaining. Jamelle McMillan filled in nicely for Glasser however, sinking a driving scoop shot and sustaining the lead without turning the ball over in the waning moments of Sunday's victory. Ty Abbott and Jerren Shipp still don't seem to have the outside shooting touch many of us were expecting this season, but they ran through the offense with precise cuts and sharp passes while refusing to yield on the defensive end, holding Chase Budinger to a whopping FOUR points.

Arizona State's matchup zone was unbelievable, doing exactly what it's designed to do: reduce a team to five individuals. Jordan Hill, a monster on both ends in the first matchup in Tempe, wasn't able to get involved in UA's offensive scheme, but then again neither was anyone not named Jerryd Bayless. And seriously, Jerryd with a "Y"? maybe his pops was a big Jackyl fan in the 1980's. Oh happy day, look who's playing Tucson on May 10, because you can't make stuff like this up. Wow, what a day this has been! Getting back on track, the non-Bayless wildcats totaled a meager 15 points on the day.

Regarding Harden's flu bug, it may have helped the team's outlook on playing in such a challenging environment. During the recently ended five game losing streak and especially against USC, the offense was doing a lot of standing around, as though they were waiting for Harden to make a play. The entire gameplan appeared to be geared to get James the ball on the right wing and let him dribble-drive down the lane. Knowing he wouldn't be up to carrying the load today, the Sendek offense played it's best 40 minute stretch I've seen since his arrival in Tempe, getting the ball to all five players on a consistent basis. There were lob passes, down screening, and back door cuts that, when utilized in combination with one another, appear to be a pick-your-poison predicament for opposing defenses. If this team keeps this level of play up and then starts hitting threes, look the fuck out.

How sweep it is!

Up next for this new basketball sport is #9 Stanford, who the Devils led by ten in the first half on the road before succumbing to the Cardinal and losing by double digits. That game was a microcosm for this season in Sun Devil basketball. The offense was fluid in the first half and ran through Pendergraph in the high post, making the Lopez twins virtual non factors by attacking the basket from every spot on the court. As soon as Jeff got into foul trouble and off the floor the ASU offense was reduced to the James Harden solo act, which got outscored by 20 in the second half. These are the joys of having three true freshmen in the starting lineup, though: they are nothing if not inconsistent. Let's not thrust these Sun Devils into a postseason selection just yet; at some point in the near future they will play far worse than they did today, but hopefully for very short stretches.

A fun fact brought up by Hode over at Devil's Digest: Since the start of the 2007-2008 athletics season, ASU is undefeated against UA, including the following:

Two wins in basketball
Two wins in Women's basketball
One win in soccer
One (another) win in football

How do I bitchslap thee, let me count the ways. It's a great time to be a Sun Devil.

Labels: hoops, message board nonsense, movie references, rivalry rants

It's fuzzy but it's fo' real!

ASU is fourth in the BCS for doing nothing more this week than sippin' on purple drank and scroggin' bitches during their bye week. During undergrad I lived across the street from a few footballers just off of Hardy Drive. On bye week Saturday they went around to all of the houses in the immediate vicinity and let us know that they were having a party and politely asked that we speak to them and not the police regarding any noise complaints. It was one of those ridiculous parties like you see in the movies with extraordinarily hot ladies and gigantic muscle-filled gentlemen stumbling and vomiting on the front lawn. They didn't invite us, oh by the way.

So what did you do for your bye week?

Sometimes you wake up with the urge to do something superbly stupid, like buying a case of everclear and looking up your old fraternity brother who just got moved from an ATF watch list to a work-release program. While I'm not that crazy (because that guy really exists in real life) I did manage to create a similarly self-destructive scenario by teaming up with an Arkansas alum and showing the local Seminoles how to party by arriving on campus at 3 a.m. and throwing a 24 hour tailgate. No hangover today but the legs are sore after standing for nearly 28 hours, including one of the better football games I've ever witnessed. Too bad for you it was regionally televised, because it was a doozy. Miami fans are the worst group of people since the fall of the third reich, and they make U of A fans look like the service staff at your local Ritz-Carlton. To top it all off, none of them even went to school there.

Cal's loss at UCLA may hurt ASU's strength of schedule, but the Bears will come rolling in to town on Saturday playing like a wounded animal. ASU will have a target on it's back and he nation's eyes will be on Tempe, seeing if this supposed paper tiger can really play against a good team. The defense will have its' hands full with a recovered Nate Longshore, DeSean Jackson, and Justin Forsett. Saturday would be a good time for this team to come out firing and play all four quarters. We shall see.

And finally, former ASU baseballer Dustin Pedroia had plenty of fun after his Red Sox clinched the ALDS (picture from loljocks.blogspot.com).

Labels: anecdotal evidence, ASU alumni, I miss college, movie references, surrounded by morons, tailgating

Photo stolen from 4VRADVL.com

The recently maligned Hell Hogs have taken a lot of flack for the abuse Rudy Carpenter has taken this season, but after rewatching the ASU-Stanford game they deserve less badmouthing than they're getting.

Carpenter was sacked five times in the first half, and two of them came by blitzing Cardinal players that Ryan Torain was in charge of stopping. Torain has been an incredible back this year, but blocking appears to be his weakness. Pass blocking, like basketball defense, is played with the feet and Torain tends to lean out rather than shuffle his feet and move laterally when a pass rusher makes a move to the outside. This affects his leverage, which is key in blocking, not to mention football in general. Torain's leverage is also compromised because of a high pad level, which is a common criticism of his running style. Get low and drive up: it's very basic, leverage 101. DE Dexter Davis' solid play has been attributed to his high school wrestling career and the skills he gained by throwing people around. But enough of throwing one of ASU's best players uder the bus.

Ok, we'll do it a little more. Two of the first half sacks came from blitzing Cardinal players that weren't blocked at all. There's a couple of issues at hand here, and one is very easy: there simply weren't enough bodies to block everyone. This falls on Carpenter for (not) reading the blitz and making an adjustment in the form of a hot route, audible, etc. Carpenter admitted in post game interviews that Stanford blitzed the bejeezus out of him all night, creating confusion for the junior signal caller. The other issue could be that Carpenter is picking up the blitz and making the call but Torain either isn't getting the signal or he's misinterpreting it.

The fifth sack of the first half was a speed rush off the end and the tackle got beat, but these types of things happen sometimes. We can't all be Randall McDaniel.

Still think they're not up too snuff? Well they run block too, and Ryan Torain and Keegan Herring are averaging 5.4 and 6.2 yards per carry, respectively, for an average of 5.7 per carry in meaningful time. That's how Phil Steele judges O-lines, and if he says it then it's gotta be true. Dmitri Nance has been no slouch in mop up time, but since most of the haters are targeting the starters, that's where I looked.



It's still hard to complain. Here ASU sits at 5-0 and ranked 18th nationally, and the offense just dropped 34 points despite several red zone farts. The boys are beating teams soundly and gaining confidence in one another which can only lead to good things. Wazzu's up next, and any team that allows Dizzy Tuitama to throw six TD's (in one night!) shouldn't be that big of a challenge.

Labels: hell hogs, movie references

The Vitals
Name: Oregon State University
Location: Corvallis, OR
Established: 1858
Enrollment: 19,362
Motto: Open Minds, Open Doors
Colors: Orange and Black
Mascot: Benny the Beaver
Stadium: Reser Stadium, capacity 46,000
Conference: Pac-10

While the school was founded as a prep school (Corvallis Academy) in 1858, it didn’t add college classes until 1865 and the first degrees were issued five years later in 1870, so it seems that Oregonians have been smoking weed and slacking off since the beginning of time (not that I have room to poke fun at folks for taking over four years to graduate). The campus was designed by Frederick Law Olmstead, the father of modern landscape architecture, to showcase the local trees and brick structures.

Nature, nature, nature. Do those people care about anything other than trees? You too can become a Master Gardener at Oregon State. OSU’s College of Forestry is also a consensus #1 in the nation as well. The school has roots (no pun intended) as an agricultural institution and it’s a land grant school, so I guess it’s to be expected. We can all thank the Ag program for developing the Maraschino cherry in 1924, for without them our Manhattans would be naked.

The feather in the Beavers’ academic cap is that they are one of only two schools in the nation to possess research grants in land, sea, sun, and space. Just think, if they add a research grant for Milla Jovovich they can surpass Cornell and have all five elements!

Notable Alumni
Heh heh, Beavers. Say no more, as OSU graduated TWO Playboy PMOY’s, Jodi Paterson (1998) and Sara Underwood (2006).

No available pictures of Jodi Paterson could be deemed safe for work. Find your own porn, you perv.

Some other folks too:
Douglas Englebart, inventor of the computer mouse
Pinto Colvig, the original Bozo the Clown
Leonard Shoen, founder of U-Haul
Dick Fosbury, 1968 Olympic gold medalist and inventor of the Fosbury Flop
Rich Brooks, former Oregon Duck and current Kentucky Wildcat head coach
Brent Barry, white boy dunk champ
Rick Barry, his dad and NBA hall-of-famer
Gary Payton, loud-mouthed basketball player
AC Green, born-again virgin and former LA Laker
Chad Johnson
TJ Hooshmazoo
Steven Jackson
Lots of other football players in the NFL recruited to OSU by Dennis Erickson

Traditions
Other than wearing orange, mocking the Ducks’ uniforms, and making "beaver" jokes, this was surprisingly difficult to find any information. I met a few OSU undergrads in 2000 when some fraternity brothers crashed at our house for the Fiesta Bowl. They all wore shirts showing a tapped keg with the words "a drinking team with a football problem." They said that anything over 6-6 is a bonus and that they only have fun with athletics, never expecting much.

Who's making fun of whom now?

Athletics
Beaver athletics were a lot of doom and gloom for most of the 20th century, but the arrival of vagabond coach Dennis Erickson changed all of that. In 2000 the Beavs went 11-1, including a 41-9 thrashing of Notre Dame in the Fiesta Bowl and a final national ranking of fourth. Before Erickson's arrival OSU had not been to a bowl game in 28 years. Although DE's stay was short, his tenure was a springboard as OSU football has seen four bowl games in the last five seasons, including last season's Sun Bowl victory over Missouri. Current head coach Mike Riley was also the head coach before Erickson's arrival, and his biggest career win would have to be upsetting USC last season.



OSU has also managed to put together a powerful baseball program that has claimed the last two National Championships. Even though Arzona State won the Pac-10 regular season championship, Oregon State got hot in the NCAA tournament and peaked to win the COllege World Series for the second year in a row. The school only has three National Championships in it's history, with the third coming in Cross Country in 1961.

Rivalries
Like everyone else in the Pac-10, the Beavers have a natural rivalry with the University of Oregon referred to as the Civil War. The Ducks lead the football rivalry 55-45-10 (10 ties! Jesus!) and while one might think the Ducks would possess recent dominance, they've split the last ten matchups with the Beavs and the home team has won all of them. In a Benedict Arnold fashion, Oregon State alum Rich Brooks is commonly credited with bringing the Oregon Duck football program to prominence with a series of NFL quarterback busts at the helm.

Head to Head
Not too many of these things have been close in recent years with the exception of the 2002 game when Terrell Suggs single-handedly beat the Beavers in a 13-9 defensive fight. Outside of that slugfest, the average margin of victory has been close to 23, with the two teams splitting the last four games. Overall OSU has been Sparky’s bitch as ASU leads the all-time series 23-9-1, but it was the other way around last season as the Beavers dismantled the Devils 44-10 in a rain-soaked afternoon in Corvallis. Expect revenge to be on the minds of the Sun Devils on Saturday after suffering such an embarrassing loss a year ago. ASU safety Jeremy Payton will face off against his brother Bryn, who plays safety for OSU.

Phil Steele Says…
Last year was OSU's second best in school history, but there will be a drop off in play losing QB Matt Moore and SS Sabby Piscatelli but the season should be successful and the Beavers should go bowling again. The home team is 6-1 in the last seven matchups.

I Say…
A staunch defense loses All-Conference Safety Sabby Piscatelli but they return almost everyone else and they’ll be a physical, tough bunch, especially since they possess good depth on the front seven and stay fresh by continuously rotating players. Even without Piscatelli, the Beaver secondary won’t drop off much as their corners are seasoned vets that will want to take ASU’s young receivers to school. I’ve said it before, but Matt Moore was the cog that made last year’s Oregon State machine run, both emotionally and as a playmaker. Sean Canfield is getting a grasp of the offense and it wouldn’t surprise me if these Beavers finish on a tear as they did a year ago, but I don’t think they’re there just yet. Yvenson Bernard will be a beast on the ground, but if the Devils can avoid blowing coverages like they did against Colorado and SDSU it should be 4-0 for ASU.

Related Websites
Oregon State University
Wikipedia
OSUBeavers.com
Building the Dam

Labels: movie references, opponent previews

Hey man, wanna go to a party tonight?
Coup!
I heard there'll be babes there.
Coup d'etat!

The Tucson spin machine is going apeshit tonight after wide receiver/defensive back recruit Jarrell Barbour decommitted from Arizona's 2008 recruiting class and committed to ASU. Barbour hails from Peoria (AZ) Centennial High School, the same school that produced fellow 2008 Sun Devil commit Zach Schlink. The wildcat faithful are now denouncing their once prized signee, saying that 1) he's not that good anyway, 2) he wouldn't have even gotten in to UA. Barbour is that good, having also received scholarship offers from Nebraska, Oklahoma, and Michigan, but he apparently is somewhat of an academic risk.

Barbour cited ASU's academics one of the biggest reasons for the switcheroo, noting that Sparky had a better plan for getting him into school. The UA community is flipping the fuck out right now and they fully believe this is the elusive yet concrete proof that UA is a better academic institution than ASU, even though the two schools have identical admission requirements handed down from the Arizona Board of Regents. I'd like to submit into evidence this quote from someone on Devils Digest who claims to have been CB Omar Bolden's academic advisor before he was admitted to ASU.

Dennis Erickson and company have got the very best academic people in the world at ASU. I was Omar's academic advisor last year and when ASU got involved with Omar he had a 1.85 gpa and a 710 test score. However, we had a plan and were taking classes at two (2) Southern California JC's. When we presented it to the ASU people they immediately (within hours) gave us a green light and some contingency advice. At that point, Omar had the offer from ASU and the ball was rolling. Furthermore, we presented the same plan to USC and they continuously balked at jumping the broom with the kid. Same thing with the UW. I, as an academic advisor to at-risk kids, will never send a kid to UW if he is being recruited by Trent Miles.

Bolden, you may remember, was also an academic risk.

ASU has been recognized as having one of the top academic support systems in the Scholar Baller program, which was designed to reward student-athletes who make good grades and spend extra time studying. Arizona on the other hand ranks at or near the bottom of most academic categories, and not just in the Pac-10 either. They have lost four football scholarships due to poor APR scores, the most of any school in the BCS. APR measures things like grades, graduation rates, etc. and penalizes schools that are not cutting it in the classroom. But you know they, like have a medical school or something, so like we're supposed to be, like, totally in awe of them or something. The story is ludicrous.

The term to note here is ASU's plan. While ASU has the Scholar Baller program, Arizona has hired 40 new tutors (bringing the total to 70) for their football program, but where is their organization and the incentive for their athletes to participate? When Erickson agreed to be the coach of the Sun Devils, many haters were quick to point out that during his tenure as head coach at the University of Miami players were prone to taking the field without making the required grades. He rebutted this criticism by pointing out that the rules at Da U allowed for a player to do so while his case was on appeal and that the academic programs, requirements, and procedures at ASU would not allow such a thing.

It sounds to me that these systems truly are in place in Tempe, and that the coaches are using them on the recruiting trail. This can only lead to the recruitment of a higher caliber person to Tempe, and we got that going for us, which is nice.

Even head groundskeeper Carl Spackler could get a 2.0 with ASU's academic support systems.

*Note: Big E wrote all of this much better than I did and you can read it here.

Labels: dirty icky recruiting, message board nonsense, movie references, the new era, UA morons

So I just finished watching the movie Invincible for the first time. You know, the one with Marky Mark. Totally unbelievable, and not in the oh my God 1980 Olympic hockey beat the Russians! unbelievable, I mean I just couldn’t get in to it. The main reasons:

• Thanks to it being a Disney movie, there wasn’t one single F-bomb in the whole flick. This is a movie about Philadelphia sports, the Eagles no less, and not one foul word. Bye bye, realism. I use pottymouth as a hollow attempt to make myself sound edgy and funny, but in Philly it’s simply part of the vernacular. It’s even more surreal than fellow mouse movie Remember the Titans not having a single N-word.

• Along the same lines, there was not a single drop of blood shed when those traitor fucks took a Giant fan to the upper deck of Veterans Stadium. I don’t care if she is a chick, the few Eagles fans I know would have gang-raped her AFTER beating her senseless.

• Speaking of the Vet’s upper deck, it’s a good thing they filmed this rag in a CGI-created fake stadium because the same thing would have happened to the actress playing that stuck up Giants fan bitch that wouldn’t put out.

• According to this collection of dicklickers the Vet had Field Turf in 1975, amazingly some 25 plus years before it was invented. Now I’ve never been to Philly, but based on the handful of games I’ve watched on tv there has never been as much perfect sunlight in that city’s history as there was during the one home game shown. Did they play the entire game on a perfect autumn afternoon between 5:45 and 6:15? Stupid fucking computers fucking everything up.

On the other side of things, I totally bought Greg Kinnear as Dick Vermeil, but I guess it’s not hard to play emotional and sappy when you’re emotional and sappy. Plus, the bonus feature “making of” piece is better than the actual movie. It’s narrated by the new NFL Films guy (not John Facenda OMG that would be teh hottness) and has plenty of clips featuring the real Vince including grainy game footage from way back when. I must also acknowledge the sexy factor of the aforementioned female Giant fan tending bar and talking football at a Ron Jaworski/Mark Malone* level. Yummy.

Look at that, I even worked an ASU reference in there for you.

In summary, it’s an ok watch if you’re Jonesing for football as bad as I am. If you’re an Eagles fan, pass on it entirely or you run the risk of having to purchase a new tv because you people are fucking crazy, like the Alabama of pro football. If you can’t get your hands on a copy in the next 14 days, you might as well wait until February because it’s not worth missing any real football games or coverage.

*- Mark Malone was a three year starter at quarterback for ASU from 1977-1980. He was also a damn fine studio host before the espn brass let Stu Scott fuck everything up.

Labels: ASU alumni, hatred for the 4-letter network, movie references, the offseason sucks

The mainstram media takes a lot of flack for the often thankless job they do, but Sun Devil football coverage has been beyond outstanding since the start of Fall Camp. It's hard running a Sun Devil blog from Florida, and I couldn't do it without the work of guys like Jeff Metcalfe and Dan Zeiger, who have really stepped it up this season. There was also a common opinion that local coverage often showed ASU in a negative light, particularly from Dan Bickley and Scott Bordow, but both of those guys have also come around to sound like they're actually starting to become Sun Devil fans. Was Dirk Koetter really that hard to get along with?

Camp Tontozona is over and the team has headed down the hill for the start of school. Post-camp awards are too pansy for the new coaching staff, but both Devils Digest and the Trib have their accolades listed, and it's a concensus that Kyle Williams and Kerry Taylor are studs and it's not out of the question that both could start. The Republic has a breakdown of the entire squad by position group, showing which ones stagnated and which ones have improved since the start of camp.

Portland State of division 1-AA replaced the University of Idaho on the 2010 schedule, because for some reason the schools don't want to play each other anymore. I wonder why...

Photo ripped off from: Losers with Socks.

In the sad, sad, dear God that basket full of kittens is on fire sad department, Julio's Too is apparently closing so that a new burger joint can fail in the shadow of the almighty Chuckbox. May mini chimichangas, $1.50 all-the-time drafts, and some of the best damn chips and salsa in town rest in peace. Speaking of food...

Holy carne asada! Get Out published their "Devil Picks" today for the best of shopping, eating, and drinking in the 85281. They were surprisingly dead-on with a few things, especially Dilly's Deli, Harlow's, and Chuckbox, but to no one's surprise I'll throw out a few nitpicks.

* I've never been to The Salty Senorita and I don't have to, because the best margarita on the motherfucking planet is at Z-Tejas, the legendary CHAMBORD MARGARITA WITH A SILVER PATRON FLOATER. Learn this and we can be friends. 6th and Maple, chump.

* I've also never been to Restaurant Mexico on Mill, but as many who read this page know I'll shiv someone for saying anything is better than Filiberto's, or whatever the hell it's called now. Someone please tell me the new name because I feel like a schmuck for not knowing. And one more thing- nice original name, Restaurant Mexico. I have more taste in my penis.

* I have to admire the inclusion of Cheba Hut because the mention of a footlong Jamaican Red and a magic rice crispy treat will bring me to tears most days, but the top value in terms of price goes to YC's Mongolian BBQ at Southern and McClintock. Also a good cheap date, too.

* I know Dos Gringos has relocated to the site of the old Thirsty Beaver, but if it's anything like it's former self across from Architraz it should at least warrant a second place standing in the running for Best Gay Bar, because that place sucked and was constantly full of dudes.

Happy eating, bitches.

Labels: I'm a big fatass, movie references, regular old crackers, the offseason sucks

* Lastly on a somewhat serious note, I've avoided taking shots at the current situatoin at UCLA. I'm taking the high road for once, and Conquest Chronicles put it better than I ever could. This eloquent summary comes from the Bruins' crossown rivals, and you know I wouldn't be able to resist if this sort of thing happened in Tucson. Bravo to Paragon SC on this one.

Labels: anecdotal evidence, blog links, movie references, Pac-10 business, regular old crackers, the new era

So I've moved to Tallahassee with some money in the bank but no job. The move to the smaller market has proved tougher than originally thought and thusly I have a lot of free time on my hands with zero friends so far. If you know anyone with construction management/real estate development connections in Tallahassee, by all means provide. On a whim I vowed to stay completely sober until I find work, leaving me with a heap of original thought and motivation. With not much else going on, I've turned to my OCD tendencies to help me through this quiet time. My activities have included:

• Keeping an immaculate home
• Watching every movie in my collection (I'm currently on #101 out of 125)
• Reading all of the comments on the infamous EDSBS post #1406 (had to stop at 400 for fear of insanity)
• Exercise *gasp!*
• Perusing message boards and the blogosphere to exhaustive lengths

I've been reading blogs that I usually don't frequent due to 1) a lack of time and 2) they're written at a level that, honestly, I can't handle everyday. MGoBlog, Dawg Sports, and Sunday Morning Quarterback are just three of several websites that lower my literary self-esteem to a level of inadequacy that makes undersized, bullied youths become cops. (I wonder if the local PD is hiring?) Here are three things that need your attention as fans of college football and the internet:

1. T. Kyle King's recent piece on DawgSports regarding the ongoing struggle with/against the media Death Star, espn.
2. On top of doing a preview page for every team in D-1, SMQ is now in the midst of thoroughly breaking down each BCS conference and Pac-10 Week should be right around the corner.
3. MGoBlog hosts the BlogPoll each season, which is like the AP but us sophisticated blogger types vote instead of the mainstream media folk. I've contacted the site about making tHOH eligible to vote but have heard no response so far. Preseason ballots should come out sometime in the next month and yes, I'll be totally biased for the Devils.

Not to leave without anything ASU-related, here's few nugs to keep you sedated for at least part of the next 36 days:

* The Sun Devils were picked to finish fourth in the Pac-10 preseason media poll, but who cares about the opinions and prognostications of writers before the season starts?

* Former ASU fullback Tex Wright, not to be confused with Randall "Tex" Cobb of Raising Arizona fame, is alive, well, and author of one of the all-time great ASU finishes that I'd never heard of before this week.

Nope, not him.

* As poster "ENCINITASjon" of Devils Digest put it, here's "one of the dumbest articles you'll ever read." It's so bad it may get its own post here in a couple of days.

* Former Sun Devil basketballer and Sigma Nu douchebag Ron DuBois landed a job as an assistant coach with the NBA's Memphis Grizzlies. See Tucson, we do stuff in the NBA too.

* I started my own poll at Devils Digest since I don't know how to do it here. It asked readers to vote for how long it would take for the 35-44-1 all-time record vs. UA to get evened up. The vast majority of voters chose 11-15 years, but unfortunately some folks from down south got involved and it turned into an argument about semantics and the interpretation of the written word, then forever banished to the rarely visited smack board.

* Dennis Erickson inked his fourth signee of the 2008 recruiting class, local offensive lineman Patrick Jamison, who was suited by Erickson since his last name is a fantastic whiskey. Jamison also received scholarship offers from UCLA, Tennessee, Oregon State, Boise State, UNLV, and Arizona.

Thanks to google image search, I was also reminded that "Jameson" is also the last name of a prominent porn star.

* Apparrently KTAR 620 was late to Pac-10 media day since they only have audio of Jim Harbaugh, Pete Carroll, and Karl Dorrell available on their website. Admittedly I was also late to link up to it, that's why I was looking. As soon as I can find a complete archived audio file of the proceedings I'll pick apart everything Dennis Erickson says and take a few pokes at Mike Stoops.

Labels: anecdotal evidence, ASU alumni, blog links, dirty icky recruiting, hatred for the 4-letter network, hoops, movie references, regular old crackers, rivalry rants, surrounded by morons, UA morons

Through a lot of linking I found a roundtable discussion brought forth by Trev Alberts of FireMarkMay.com that, while a month old, could use my attention. I'm not yet a blogpoll member but I aspire to be, so here goes...

Your Home Field Advantage

Give the more zealous portion of your fanbase a religion. What's this cult following? Feel free to give the splitters a derogatory nickname.

We all bow to Frank Kush, the patron saint of Sun Devil football who was professionally crucified by those whom he had come to enlighten- a camp catalyzed by a false idol, none other than a flag-waving kicker. (as everyone knows, kickers are NOT football players) The congregation became disillusioned and dissolved in the following years by carpetbaggers such as Rodgers and Cooper, then demoralized by Marmie the incompetent. Savior Jake Plummer had come to restore joy to the desert, but by that time the barbarians of professional sport had fully infiltrated the holy land and many followers had converted to the dark side. Our sect became divided in recent years, falling into the camps of lovers and haters and split by one man's papacy, Dirk Koetter. Koetter was forced out after piss-poor performance and record-setting bad decisions, which allowed for the new savior to enter our church, one Dennis Erickson. In a throwback to the old testament of Kush, Erickson preaches ideas once thought to be antiquated, like a running game and a physical defense. Lovers and haters are reunited and hope is restored in Sun Devil Land as we wander through the desert, although not-so-aimlessly anymore.

If this piece doesn't get me into hell for violation of the 1st Commandment, nothing will.

Your biggest rival is in town, and College Gameday is coming....to your citaaaaaaay... Create a blatant corporate sellout promotion to appeal to the mass unwashed.

In the spirit of espn being onsite, Pat Tillman's death will be exploited to the grandest extent. Gold-colored Army Ranger berets will be administered to the first 50,000 attendees, the marching band does a patriotic 4th of July-style set at halftime, and there is a missing man flyover to accompany the fireworks after each Sun Devil score.

Add one local delicacy to your stadium's concessions. Post-tax pricing is optional.

Other than alcohol? For four bucks apiece, Filiberto's (or whatever it's called now) offers burritos made to order. The tortilla throwing tradition takes on a whole new level when players and cheerleaders start slipping on fresh-made guacamole, but Michael Crow puts the kibash on the whole thing after a male cheerleader dies when a chorizo and egg burrito funnels through a megaphone and asphyxiates him. Jan had spirit, yes he did...

With an unlimited AD budget, add or subtract one thing to your school's gameday experience that has nothing to do with football.

Lot 59 is replaced with sod, shade trees, and plumbing facilities because quite frankly we are light years behind the Southeastern schools when it comes to tailgating, mostly because spending all day on shadeless blacktop in 110+ degree heat is no one's good time. For extra income the former parking lot is a nine-hole, par-three golf course during the week and a 10-story parking megastructure is erected for regular student parking where the bullshit Alpha Drive fraternity houses once sat.(hollaback old school Adelphi row!) We can put it right next to the football team's brand spankin' new indoor practice facility.

Just imagine a grove of oaks 160 yards that way.

General NCAA questions

Coin a hilariously unrealistic stereotype that you would like to "make stick" for this upcoming season.

The Stoops regime is fired from Tucson and they moochingly move back into brother Bob's McMansion basement in Norman, all while trying to raise a young daughter/sissyboy. Think My Two Dads but with three guys, two of whom are gay. And a lot of strained-faced yelling.

Redesign your conference or independent schedule with reckless abandon. Be prepared to include compensation for jilted schools and conferences in your explanation.

Jeez this thing is getting long. The Pac-10 finally got it right with the full round-robin schedule, no need for me to go fucking with it. As for the OOC slate, I'd like to see the Sun Devils take on more teams in the northeast and upper midwest. ASU is so popular with non-athlete students that it offers virtual orientation in Philly, Chicago, and Seattle, and this desire to escape the miserable fucking cold of those God-forsaken places ought to be exploited for recruiting purposes. Imagine getting on a plane in lake effect snow-ridden Buffalo in February and landing in Tempe where it's 75 and sunny for an official visit, and now envision a behemoth 18 year-old signing on the dotted line.

Following up on your new realignment, blow up the BCS and devise a national playoff system, money grabs and missed exams be damned. Using your new fantasy conferences is optional.

The existing bowl games get used on a rotating basis as neutral sites for a 16-team playoff, and the ones that aren't selected for the bracket games can be held as exhibitions, like a football NIT. More traditional bowls like the Rose and Fiesta are used for the latter rounds and they rotate much like the BCS does now. I'd like to suggest that the current conferences be blown up and reorganized into equally sized divisions (while eliminting those bullshit conference championship games) for the purpose of selecting some of the participants in this proposed playoff, but that's just crazy talk.

Elect one public figure to replace NCAA president Myles Brand. Anyone with proper name recognition is eligible.

Charles Fucking Barkley, and I don't think I need to explain myself. Even though he's a basketball player, being from Alabama he should intuitively understand the importance of college football.

Be sure to check out others' responses in the comments section of FireMarkMay's original post.

Labels: anecdotal evidence, blog links, Dirk's a horse's ass, dirty icky recruiting, Greatest Fark Evah, movie references, Pac-10 business, QnA, tailgating, UA morons

Labels: dirty icky recruiting, hoops, I miss college, message board nonsense, movie references, regular old crackers

So here we are, the nitty gritty of the finest embarrassments ASU has to offer. Like the hippie olympics, it really doesn't matter who wins since they're all losers. For good measure, let's take roll one last time:

Honorable Mention: Courtney Simpson and Eddie House
#11: Courtney Jackson
#10: Bryson Krueger
#9: Ryan Kealy
#8: Connor Banks
#7: JR Redmond
#6: Hakim Hill
#5: Barry Bonds
#4: UAC student section (basketball, 1984-1988)

And without further adieu, the top criminals in the history of Arizona State University.

Honorable mention part III: the military industrial complex, 2004-present. They murdered Pat Tillman and lied to cover it up. Not much to say since more facts come to light each day. Is a government worth preserving when it lies to it's people?

Somewhat ironic thet they're seen here together.

#3: Mitchell "Fright Night" Freedman, football, 1994-1998. First, watch this. That's how he played all the time. Mean, crazy, and angry. Unfortunately that's also how he lived his life. Freedman is the only player on this list that gets his nickname on the subject line because it fits him so well, as Orson from EDSBS will attest. He once hit a BYU player so hard that both Freedman and the Mormon went to the hosptal after the game, and I have been told by those in attendance that he was screaming while running towards the victim. Where to begin? Well, how about this snippet from the AZ Republic:

Mitchell Dehaven Freedman, 30, a safety who earned the nickname "Fright Night" because of the ferocity of his tackles, was found guilty of 15 counts, including five counts of sexual assault, four counts of sexual abuse, kidnapping, aggravated assault and armed robbery. He could face more than 100 years in prison for the sexual assault charges alone.

And then he still faces trial on two other rape cases, one from 2003 and one that allegedly took place in 1992, when Freedman was 16.

Yikes. What's even scarier is that he wasn't even tried for the rapes that happened when he was a minor "because he was already going away for so long." I...I don't really know what else to say here. It's hard to imagine but his prison sentence may be longer than Loren Wade's after all is said and done.

#2 Stevin Smith, Basketball, 1991-1994. You knew it was coming, and why shouldn't it top the list? Smith, nicknamed "Hedake" by his teammates, orchestrated a point shaving scandal in 1994 that espn will never let die. Isaac Burton shouldn't be getting off lightly either, but Smith seems to be the main guy everyone remembers, probably since he was such an effective player when he wasn't, you know, cheating.

The scandal started when Smith got into cahoots with the now famous campus bookie Benny Silman. Smith was allegedly in debt to him for over $10,000, and the two plotted to beat Oregon State by six or fewer points when the Devils were favored by 14 1/2. It worked and managed to line both of their pockets quite well. The exact same plan was employed two days later against Oregon State, and the Devils once again won by 6.

The final straw was the day of a game against Washington, after Smith and Silman began to gloat about their recent financial successes. The word spread quickly, and heavy betting ensued- so much so, in fact, that the line on the game changed 40 times that day and Vegas oddsmaker Roxy Roxborough pulled the game from the betting board, the first time he had done so in his 15-year career. The FBI was notified, but the investigations didn't take place until 1997, enough time for Smith, Burton, and then head coach Bill Frieder to leave the scene of the crime. The fallout landed squarely on those left to continue ASU men's basketball.

Hedake (misspelled on purpose to fit on the vanity plate of his car) did 10 months in federal prison, but the stink of the scandal still hasn't completely lifted from ASU. His 10 months isn't so bad considering Silman got four years, but Silman also got a tv-movie deal out of it. Whenever ASU basketball is mentioned, point-shaving is typically associated with it. I suppose that's better than "sucks," but still defaming. It is the black eye that will never heal.

#1: Loren Wade, football, 2002-2004. The official site has removed his player bio from their archives, and rightfully so. What kind of a school do we have when players are murdering former teammates, outside of a club no less? The arguement started one night in Scottsdale and was reportedly about a girl. As Brandon Falkner was pulling away, Wade fired a fatal shot into the driver's side window of his car. While this is sickening as a Sun Devil, the societal ills it brings to light are equally alarming. There are no winners here: the Falkner family is burdened with overwhelming grief, ASU has been sued, Koetter was blamed for a lack of control, and Wade will be imprisoned for life. A truly sad moment for anyone involved.

Labels: anecdotal evidence, ASU alumni, blog links, hatred for the 4-letter network, hoops, movie references, the offseason sucks, thug life

We're taking a break from admonishing football players today, but it's amazing how many of the names on this list have come from the gridiron. Maybe that huffy, overly academic and damn proud of it econ professor of yours was right about football being barbaric and mind numbing. Screw him. As the great James Caan once said, "when was the last time 80,000 fans showed up to watch a damn chemistry experiment?!" Speaking of old professors, can anyone tell me if Dr. Fuchs is still teaching chemistry at ASU? He's nothing like the fictional prof mentioned above, but he was 100-something years old when I had him in 1998. He's actually a really nice guy who goes to a lot of ASU baseball games- I'll go out on a limb and call him the Frank Kush of chemistry, having received his PhD from Arizona State College in 1936. Sidetracked? Apologies.

The Sun Devil embarrassment list continues, but not before seeing who else is already on it.

Honorable mention: Courtney Simpson and Eddie House
#11: Courtney Jackson
#10: Bryson Krueger
#9: Ryan Kealy
#8: Connor Banks
#7: JR Redmond
#6: Hakim Hill

And away we go...

#5: Barry Bonds, Baseball, 1982-1986. Ahhh, now we're getting somewhere. For every ounce of pride I have when thinking that a Sun Devil will hold the most revered individual record in all of sports, there are five ounces of shame. Bonds' "achievement" (note spooky quotes) will tarnish Hank Aaron, the game of baseball, and eventually the Hall of Fame. One can argue that everyone else in baseball is doing it, but Bonds, along with McGwire, will be at the top of the memory list 50 years from now when folks begin reminiscing about the steroid era.

The tricky part of all of this is that there isn't any real proof. Bonds could be higher on the list if we actually knew he was using steroids, but then again he might not be. Part of what has made this story a circus is all of the mystery that surrounds it, dragging out exhaustive speculation. The only way this thing will ever end is if the truth comes out. Think about it- people still want to know who shot JFK, where Amelia Earhart is, and what happened to the Lindbergh baby. This will stand the test of time as well.

I'm a staunch believer in a man being innocent until proven guilty, but c'mon. Look at these pictures:

These are actually the same person.

Sorry, Barry, I'm not buying what you're selling- unless you get traded to the Cubs. On a side note, the University is apparently ignoring the swirling rumors because the official site has a ton of information on Bonds and the chase for Aaron's record, including a few more (incriminating)pictures from Bonds' ASU days.

#4: Student Section, University Activity Center, 1984-1988. Anybody who has ever read this site knows my passionate hatred for the University of Arizona and everything it represents, but it is possible to go too far. UA shooting guard Steve Kerr's father was murdered in 1984 while he was the president of the American University in Beirut, and Kerr didn't receive the warmest welcome in his first trip back to the hardwood.

There's a lot of conflicting information on the exact timeline of events, but Tucson legend will tell you that two days after the murder Steve cried before a game against ASU in Tempe but took the floor anyway. Rather than a warm reception, he was welcomed by chants of PLO! PLO! PLO!, not to mention other slurs such as Where's your dad? and Go back to Beirut! Kerr responded by dropping 20 first-half points on the Devils in yet another rout of ASU.

Having been to more than my fair share of ASU/UA basketball games, I'm positive that this actually happened, the only conflicts in the story are when it happened. Whle the murder happened in '84, the 20-point first half happened in '88. My personal guess is that the jeering happened all four times Kerr took the floor in Tempe. Not that I condone it or anything, that's just my experience with the locals.

Labels: anecdotal evidence, ASU alumni, drugs, movie references, other sports, rivalry rants, the offseason sucks, thug life

With the Loren Wade trial coming at the lowest of low points of college athletics offseason (what's a baseball?), I'll be ignoring the whole negative PR-fest with all of my might. The Arizona Republic will mention Arizona State University twice as many times as the tragically slain Brandon Faulkner, something the school definitely doesn't need given its sketchy record over the last decade or so.

What trial?

What ASU really needs is a Wag The Dog-style distraction of epic proportions to keep this thing buried in the back of the paper. I can't say I'm rooting for a terrorist attack or anything, even though it was effective when my fraternity got kicked off campus thanks to a drunk driver- not that you ever heard about it since it happened during the first week of September 2001.

In the spirit of black eyes for ASU, I've compiled a small list of scandals in the 85281. None of them are as bad as a player killing a former teammate, but it didn't take more than a single sitting to come up with #'s 2-11. We'll do a couple of them at a time, just so you Sun Devil diehards have something to read other than Wade's affiliation with ASU and Dirk Koetter's percieved lack of institutional control. Without further adieu...

Honorable mention: Courtney Simpson. Ex-ASU cheerleader goes porno in dashing style, making her professional debut in her ASU cheer uniform. No reason to beat this dead horse, especially since the M-Zone mentions her at least once a week.



#11: Courtney Jackson, football, 1996-1999. The scapegoat of the 1997 Rose Bowl, sure, but this tale isn't as well known as that debacle. Like the last minute breakdown against Ohio State, however, Jackson had accomplices. In the spring of 1998 a friend of mine, who we'll call Nate, came down with a case of the crabs. He got them from the supreme queen of jizz-jars of Sonora Hall, who claims to have gotten them from Jackson. You would have thought David Boston burned them all off the previous January, but oh no. Not a news story, sure, but still funny. Everyone needs another reason to hate Courtney Jackson. Disagree? Just check out this photo. That's ASU's national championship in Boston's hands.

#10: Bryson Krueger, men's basketball, 2004-2006. This is a lot lower on the list than it probably ought to be, but it stays at ten since absolutely no one gives a hoot about ASU hoops. The upcoming basketball season was looking bright with the firing of Rob Evans and a starting backcourt of Kevin Kruger and Bryson Krueger. Kevin transferred to UNLV and led them to the sweet sixteen, but Bryson's fate was not so sweet. He was arrested last March for possession of Ex, Coke, Zanex, and an unregistered .40-cal handgun. Again, this is a big deal for a hometown athlete who could be considered a standout on a divison-1 basketball team, but it's ASU basketball. In 2005-2006, the Devils could hardly be considered D-1.

The list continues this week with DUI's, theft, and other federal charges. Stay tuned!

Labels: anecdotal evidence, ASU alumni, blog links, hoops, movie references, the offseason sucks, thug life

Samantha Micelli and the Slim-Fast spokesman!

Based on the clothes and the non-revealing angle, I thought this photo was taken in the 1980's and felt guilty, like the kind of guilt one has when Dateline NBC comes busting through your door- not that I would know. Upon further review it seems that it was only taken 5 months ago, and then only the jealousy of Tommy Lasorda remained, something I never thought would ever happen. It seems that Alyssa Milano of Who's The Boss fame (and some stupid witch show, whatever) writes her own baseball blog. (HT: Scott) Call it gender bias, but I usually expect a female sports blog to be a few short-lived scribblings with phrases like "tee-hee" everywhere, but she's actually quite literate. A few quick things I noticd while perusing *touch* em all:

* She's a Dodger fan, so I can only assume that she shows up late for dates and leaves early.
* She offers female baseball fan insight without a single comment about anyone's butt.
* She thinks 2001 World Series hero Luis Gonzalez throws like a girl. Hhhhhooootttttt.

My other expectation of the site was tht it was all a front to push some cleavage-laden Hollywood vehicle, but it's only marketing the line of baseball apparrel Alyssa designed for women. Ok, minus one for corporate ties, but it's obvious that she's a true fan and for this welcome her to the blogosphere. Check her out, as long as you're not a SF Giants fan.

Labels: blog links, movie references, other sports

Spring practice is here, finally! Unless you have one of those premium subscriptions to those expert-filled star-giving websites, you're as out in the cold as a homeless eskimo. I don't want to pay $80 a year either, so I'll attack the published material as mch as possible. ASU beat writer Jeff Metcalfe, of who I am a fan, sat down with Rudy Carpenter and baited him into making the following stupid remark.

"We had so many guys on the line hurt and no wideouts virtually..... I was second in the Pac-10 in sacks."

Returning Wideouts that saw playing time last year: Mike Jones, Brandon Smith, Chris McGaha, Nate Kimbrough, Kyle Williams, Rudy Burgess, and Tyrice Thompson

Returning Offensive Linemen that saw playing time last year: Thomas Altieri, Paul Faniaka, Brandon Rodd, Shawn Lauvao, Robert Gustavis, Mike Pollak, and Julius Orieukwu

Burn bridges much, dick? It doesn't sound like you've ever heard of a fellow Cali-boy douchebag named Chris Rix, who was such a locker room cancer that Pro Bowl WR Anquan Boldin was known to intentionally drop pases from him IN GAMES while playing together at Florida State. Shut your pie hole and throw the ball, son. this was the first actual football article in the Arizona Republic in months, so you know everyone in the valley read it. Good job, team leader. Oh and there's planty more:

On differences between this spring and last:
"It's going to be lot different. I think we all know who the quarterback is going to be. If Danny (Sullivan) comes in and beats me out, hey, that's my fault.

Oh yeah, you played lights-out last year after Keller's departure. Pressure is good for the competitive spirit, and you have none coming from the depth chart. Bully for you. Sullivan will never play since you can't build an offense around a guy that throws the ball like Edward Scissorhands. We all know that, and I long for the day that Chasen Stengel and Samson Szakacsy can chase your whiny ass up the ranks.

"So many times the whole being 6-5, 230, having a cannon is so overrated."

I have no idea who he's talking about.
This man pwns you, Carp.

This year there's going to be more of an emphasis on football rather than position conflict and controversies."

It certainly doesn't appear so.

Labels: movie references, Shut up Carp, surrounded by morons, the new era, we're sorry Sam Keller

Thank freaking God. It ain't much, but this is all I have after 2+ hours of net surfing.

* The April 14th Spring Game will be held at Sun Devil Stadium at 7:30 pm. It's apparently a day game most years, and I guess he's trying- actually I don't really see the point. Hopefully some folks will make it out to Area 59 for some offseason tailgating, and they'll have plenty of time to get good and lubed for a game guaranteed to have no QB sacks.

* In a cyberspace lynching of Gary Barnett (not that he doesn't deserve it), SMQ makes sure to mention the four parts of ASU history that will never ever die. It isn't much, but seeing anything about ASU football in March is noteworthy.

* Speaking of which, Hakim Hill isn't going quietly into the night, muh'fucka. JD's son was arrested yet again in Scottsdale, even if the charges do sound a little trumped up. Brotha's just trying to get a ride home. If the Fulmer Cup gave alumni points, we Gun Devils would give Miami a run for their money.

* Jake Plummer appears to be retiring.

* Jon Hargis, a defensive line recruit out of high school powerhouse Mesa Mountain View, will be switched to offensive line as Coach Erickson feels that "He has a chance to be a good player."

Eh. I'm reminded of the part in Raw where Eddie Murphy makes an analogy regarding how great sex is if your woman holds out on you fr long stretches of time. I'm paraphrasing from memory here, but doing so fairly well if I say so.

If you're starving, and somebody throws you a cracker, you're going to say 'Goddamn, that the best cracker I ever had in my life! (licking fingers) Was that a Ritz?! That had to be a Ritz!'...But then one day you wake up and say, 'hey, I just got some regular old crackers.'

It looks like regular old crackers for quite some time. Help me NCAA tournament, you're my only hope.

Labels: ASU alumni, blog links, movie references, regular old crackers, the new era, thug life

Sorry Rex, not today. On the other hand, congrats to Peyton Manning for finally beating Florida and making strides for Down's Syndrome sufferers everywhere. In case you were in a P.O.W. camp and missed the game, here's what happened.

* Both head coaches are black.

* Jay-Z has a new album and apparently works for Budweiser.

* Prince and the FAMU Marching 100 are still the shit.

* There's a good Rex Grossman and a bad Rex Grossman. The latter showed up in Miami.

* Valentine's day is coming, and there are plenty of folks selling diamonds. If you don't buy one for your woman, you're a fucking loser with zero hopes of getting laid. Ever again.

* Both head coaches are black.

Manning: Corky in pads.

All in all it was another wonderful Super Sunday and I had too much cheese dip. This rivals St. Patrick's Day as the best holiday of the year and we all ought to have Monday off from work. My worst moment of the day was being awoken by a girlfriend telling me that ASU upset Washington State, only to find out that she saw the women's score. Drat.

Labels: anecdotal evidence, I'm a big fatass, movie references, other sports

From a very reliable source...

A CHARTER PLANE CARRYING THE MARSHALL FOOTBALL TEAM HAD TO BE EVACUATED BEFORE TAKEOFF ON THE RUNWAY TODAY IN CEREDO, WEST VIRGINIA.

SMOKE WAS REPORTED IN THE ENGINE, BUT NO ONE WAS INJURED DURING THE EVACUATION.

THIS INCIDENT COMES ALMOST 36 YEARS TO THE DAY WHEN ALMOST ALL THE MARSHALL FOOTBALL TEAM WAS KILLED IN A PLANE CRASH ON NOVEMBER 14, 1970.

TODAY'S TEAM WAS TRAVELING TO EAST CAROLINA UNIVERSITY, THE SAME SCHOOL THE 1970 TEAM WAS COMING HOME FROM WHEN THEY CRASHED.

Dude... scary. You may be familiar with the story because of the new Matthew McConaughey vehicle We Are Marshall. Numerology is spooky, even if it doesn't pan out every time, like the whole years ending with "6" thing in the Pac-10.

Speaking of numerology, the Devils play the Washington State Cougars today in the middle of what is being hailed as "Champions Weekend." ASU will honor its 1986 and 1996 Pac-10 championship teams during halftime of Saturday's game, but here's the catch: neither of those teams beat Wazzu. Huh!? The '86 squad that finished 10-1-1 tied WSU while the '96 counterpart, although undefeated in the regular season, didn't play the Cougs that year. This does not look good for Devil fans, and I'm thinking that the stands won't look too good either. The program hasn't reached total apathy yet since everyone seems to want Dirk's head on a platter, but it's close. The fair weather folk of the valley have already turned to the Suns and ***gasp!*** ASU basketball's new regime, so don't expect more than 50,000 in attendance at kickoff. I haven't a clue as to what those people will see since I'm not really sure which ASU team will show up:

a.) the relentless team that poured it on against Nevada and Stanford
b.) the team that show fight and heart against USC and Washington
c.) The other one you may have seen against Oregon State, Oregon, and Cal.

I'm really worried that like many fans, the team has given up on Coach Koetter. I hope I'm wrong, but I'm glad it won't be televised.

Go Devils!

Thanks again Pat, and happy Veteran's Day.

Labels: ASU alumni, Dirk's a horse's ass, movie references

Author's note: The "add photo" function on Blogger is a steaming heap of shit, but here's a link to a cool halloween picture. Enjoy!

There are reasons you don't go to bars on Tuesday nights, of this I am sure. Problem is I wasn't so sure of it last night and I am subsequently feeling undelicious at work today. The wit today is about as sharp as a bowling ball, so I'll leave it to the experts.

Michigan Zone has reported a fantastic, hate-filled rivalry story about the tragically uncool Red Hot Chili Peppers. Remember them? They were a cutting edge punk band that innovated the eventually annoying rock/rap genre, but now all they put out are sad bastard songs, most of which seem to refer to their home state of California. They are the top nominees for artists that need to get back on the junk immediately; maybe George Clinton and Willie Nelson should open for them. As a wiser man than myself once said, "should a formerly great artist be punished for his latter-day sins? Is it better to burn out than fade away?" Pardon the aside, and now back to the story. Drummer Chad Smith (allegedly a Michigan native) appeared on stage at a Columbus concert sporting a Wolverine jersey and the band was booed. They then opened the set with Michigan fight song Hail to the Victors, a move that has led to at least one local radio station banning their music. Anti-Buckeye works for me almost any day of the week, but the fact that they knew the fight song of the town's rival is wholly rock and fucking roll and could only happen in the arena of college rivalry. Bravissimo!


Note to Keidis, et. al.: this is what a rock band should sound like.

More props to M-Zone for being on fire this week with their head coach halloween costumes. Spot on, gentlemen.

Labels: blog links, drugs, message board nonsense, movie references, regular old crackers, rivalry rants