Thursday, May 17, 2007


The son of scandals

We're taking a break from admonishing football players today, but it's amazing how many of the names on this list have come from the gridiron. Maybe that huffy, overly academic and damn proud of it econ professor of yours was right about football being barbaric and mind numbing. Screw him. As the great James Caan once said, "when was the last time 80,000 fans showed up to watch a damn chemistry experiment?!" Speaking of old professors, can anyone tell me if Dr. Fuchs is still teaching chemistry at ASU? He's nothing like the fictional prof mentioned above, but he was 100-something years old when I had him in 1998. He's actually a really nice guy who goes to a lot of ASU baseball games- I'll go out on a limb and call him the Frank Kush of chemistry, having received his PhD from Arizona State College in 1936. Sidetracked? Apologies.

The Sun Devil embarrassment list continues, but not before seeing who else is already on it.

Honorable mention: Courtney Simpson and Eddie House
#11: Courtney Jackson
#10: Bryson Krueger
#9: Ryan Kealy
#8: Connor Banks
#7: JR Redmond
#6: Hakim Hill

And away we go...

#5: Barry Bonds, Baseball, 1982-1986. Ahhh, now we're getting somewhere. For every ounce of pride I have when thinking that a Sun Devil will hold the most revered individual record in all of sports, there are five ounces of shame. Bonds' "achievement" (note spooky quotes) will tarnish Hank Aaron, the game of baseball, and eventually the Hall of Fame. One can argue that everyone else in baseball is doing it, but Bonds, along with McGwire, will be at the top of the memory list 50 years from now when folks begin reminiscing about the steroid era.

The tricky part of all of this is that there isn't any real proof. Bonds could be higher on the list if we actually knew he was using steroids, but then again he might not be. Part of what has made this story a circus is all of the mystery that surrounds it, dragging out exhaustive speculation. The only way this thing will ever end is if the truth comes out. Think about it- people still want to know who shot JFK, where Amelia Earhart is, and what happened to the Lindbergh baby. This will stand the test of time as well.

I'm a staunch believer in a man being innocent until proven guilty, but c'mon. Look at these pictures:

These are actually the same person.

Sorry, Barry, I'm not buying what you're selling- unless you get traded to the Cubs. On a side note, the University is apparently ignoring the swirling rumors because the official site has a ton of information on Bonds and the chase for Aaron's record, including a few more (incriminating)pictures from Bonds' ASU days.

#4: Student Section, University Activity Center, 1984-1988. Anybody who has ever read this site knows my passionate hatred for the University of Arizona and everything it represents, but it is possible to go too far. UA shooting guard Steve Kerr's father was murdered in 1984 while he was the president of the American University in Beirut, and Kerr didn't receive the warmest welcome in his first trip back to the hardwood.

There's a lot of conflicting information on the exact timeline of events, but Tucson legend will tell you that two days after the murder Steve cried before a game against ASU in Tempe but took the floor anyway. Rather than a warm reception, he was welcomed by chants of PLO! PLO! PLO!, not to mention other slurs such as Where's your dad? and Go back to Beirut! Kerr responded by dropping 20 first-half points on the Devils in yet another rout of ASU.

Having been to more than my fair share of ASU/UA basketball games, I'm positive that this actually happened, the only conflicts in the story are when it happened. Whle the murder happened in '84, the 20-point first half happened in '88. My personal guess is that the jeering happened all four times Kerr took the floor in Tempe. Not that I condone it or anything, that's just my experience with the locals.

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