Sunday, October 28, 2007
Looking good so far
This many wins! Yaaaay!Want my reasons why ASU will beat Oregon this weekend? Eh, who has time? I'll say the top three deciding factors will be maximizing time of possession to keep the ball away from Dixon & Co., minimizing turnovers while creating a few for Oregon, and eliminating penalties, as Oregon only had one for five yards against USC.
Honestly, I think it's coin flip; their offense is marginally better than ours and our defense is marginally better than theirs. ASU's speed at linebacker needs to contain the run and force Dixon to beat them with his arm. Oregon is 81st nationally against the pass and the Duck D is prone to giving up yardage chunks through the air, especially with a tandem like Herring and Nance ripping off big gains. ASU hasn't seen an offense with the balance and potency of ASU's, and the Sun Devils haven't seen an offense like Oregon in years (not counting the 2005 ASU offense).
ASU has won two straight at Autzen, including upsetting the #6 Ducks 45-42. Revenge is a bitch, see last year's asswhipping. It may come down to a kick and like the Sun Devils, freshman Thomas Weber is undefeated at 15 makes and zero misses.
It won't take a perfect game to beat Oregon, but a full four quarters would be nice.
Here's where I've been wasting my valuable blogging time, composing my top 10 reasons this ASU team eerily resembles the 1996 Pac-10 Champion counterpart.
10) Speed and depth at linebacker.
4) A mobile quarterback who lacks outstanding numbers but exudes leadership and manages games well.
8) A deep and solid receiving corps led by a senior sporting #3.
9) A stable of talented running backs.
A victory over a Big XII North team.
6) A handful of comebacks.
5) Students rushed the field after a victory against Cal.
3) A stud starting running back is out for the season with an injury.
2) A senior-laden offensive line.
1) An undefeated Sun Devil team!
Watch me.
And me. Draw your own conclusions.
Labels: all these pictures and videos are givingme a seizure, ASU alumni, getting ahead of ourselves, opponent previews, the new era
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Rolling on Shabbas
It's fuzzy but it's fo' real!ASU is fourth in the BCS for doing nothing more this week than sippin' on purple drank and scroggin' bitches during their bye week. During undergrad I lived across the street from a few footballers just off of Hardy Drive. On bye week Saturday they went around to all of the houses in the immediate vicinity and let us know that they were having a party and politely asked that we speak to them and not the police regarding any noise complaints. It was one of those ridiculous parties like you see in the movies with extraordinarily hot ladies and gigantic muscle-filled gentlemen stumbling and vomiting on the front lawn. They didn't invite us, oh by the way.
So what did you do for your bye week?
Sometimes you wake up with the urge to do something superbly stupid, like buying a case of everclear and looking up your old fraternity brother who just got moved from an ATF watch list to a work-release program. While I'm not that crazy (because that guy really exists in real life) I did manage to create a similarly self-destructive scenario by teaming up with an Arkansas alum and showing the local Seminoles how to party by arriving on campus at 3 a.m. and throwing a 24 hour tailgate. No hangover today but the legs are sore after standing for nearly 28 hours, including one of the better football games I've ever witnessed. Too bad for you it was regionally televised, because it was a doozy. Miami fans are the worst group of people since the fall of the third reich, and they make U of A fans look like the service staff at your local Ritz-Carlton. To top it all off, none of them even went to school there.
Cal's loss at UCLA may hurt ASU's strength of schedule, but the Bears will come rolling in to town on Saturday playing like a wounded animal. ASU will have a target on it's back and he nation's eyes will be on Tempe, seeing if this supposed paper tiger can really play against a good team. The defense will have its' hands full with a recovered Nate Longshore, DeSean Jackson, and Justin Forsett. Saturday would be a good time for this team to come out firing and play all four quarters. We shall see.
And finally, former ASU baseballer Dustin Pedroia had plenty of fun after his Red Sox clinched the ALDS (picture from loljocks.blogspot.com).
Labels: anecdotal evidence, ASU alumni, I miss college, movie references, surrounded by morons, tailgating
Friday, August 17, 2007
A night at the cinema
So I just finished watching the movie Invincible for the first time. You know, the one with Marky Mark. Totally unbelievable, and not in the oh my God 1980 Olympic hockey beat the Russians! unbelievable, I mean I just couldn’t get in to it. The main reasons:
• Thanks to it being a Disney movie, there wasn’t one single F-bomb in the whole flick. This is a movie about Philadelphia sports, the Eagles no less, and not one foul word. Bye bye, realism. I use pottymouth as a hollow attempt to make myself sound edgy and funny, but in Philly it’s simply part of the vernacular. It’s even more surreal than fellow mouse movie Remember the Titans not having a single N-word.
• Along the same lines, there was not a single drop of blood shed when those traitor fucks took a Giant fan to the upper deck of Veterans Stadium. I don’t care if she is a chick, the few Eagles fans I know would have gang-raped her AFTER beating her senseless.
• Speaking of the Vet’s upper deck, it’s a good thing they filmed this rag in a CGI-created fake stadium because the same thing would have happened to the actress playing that stuck up Giants fan bitch that wouldn’t put out.
• According to this collection of dicklickers the Vet had Field Turf in 1975, amazingly some 25 plus years before it was invented. Now I’ve never been to Philly, but based on the handful of games I’ve watched on tv there has never been as much perfect sunlight in that city’s history as there was during the one home game shown. Did they play the entire game on a perfect autumn afternoon between 5:45 and 6:15? Stupid fucking computers fucking everything up.
On the other side of things, I totally bought Greg Kinnear as Dick Vermeil, but I guess it’s not hard to play emotional and sappy when you’re emotional and sappy. Plus, the bonus feature “making of” piece is better than the actual movie. It’s narrated by the new NFL Films guy (not John Facenda OMG that would be teh hottness) and has plenty of clips featuring the real Vince including grainy game footage from way back when. I must also acknowledge the sexy factor of the aforementioned female Giant fan tending bar and talking football at a Ron Jaworski/Mark Malone* level. Yummy.
Look at that, I even worked an ASU reference in there for you.In summary, it’s an ok watch if you’re Jonesing for football as bad as I am. If you’re an Eagles fan, pass on it entirely or you run the risk of having to purchase a new tv because you people are fucking crazy, like the Alabama of pro football. If you can’t get your hands on a copy in the next 14 days, you might as well wait until February because it’s not worth missing any real football games or coverage.
*- Mark Malone was a three year starter at quarterback for ASU from 1977-1980. He was also a damn fine studio host before the espn brass let Stu Scott fuck everything up.
Labels: ASU alumni, hatred for the 4-letter network, movie references, the offseason sucks
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Boredom Ensues...
- Keeping an immaculate home
- Watching every movie in my collection (I'm currently on #101 out of 125)
- Reading all of the comments on the infamous EDSBS post #1406 (had to stop at 400 for fear of insanity)
- Exercise *gasp!*
- Perusing message boards and the blogosphere to exhaustive lengths
- T. Kyle King's recent piece on DawgSports regarding the ongoing struggle with/against the media Death Star, espn.
- On top of doing a preview page for every team in D-1, SMQ is now in the midst of thoroughly breaking down each BCS conference and Pac-10 Week should be right around the corner.
- MGoBlog hosts the BlogPoll each season, which is like the AP but us sophisticated blogger types vote instead of the mainstream media folk. I've contacted the site about making tHOH eligible to vote but have heard no response so far. Preseason ballots should come out sometime in the next month and yes, I'll be totally biased for the Devils.
Not to leave without anything ASU-related, here's few nugs to keep you sedated for at least part of the next 36 days:
* The Sun Devils were picked to finish fourth in the Pac-10 preseason media poll, but who cares about the opinions and prognostications of writers before the season starts?
* Former ASU fullback Tex Wright, not to be confused with Randall "Tex" Cobb of Raising Arizona fame, is alive, well, and author of one of the all-time great ASU finishes that I'd never heard of before this week.
Nope, not him.* As poster "ENCINITASjon" of Devils Digest put it, here's "one of the dumbest articles you'll ever read." It's so bad it may get its own post here in a couple of days.
* Former Sun Devil basketballer and Sigma Nu douchebag Ron DuBois landed a job as an assistant coach with the NBA's Memphis Grizzlies. See Tucson, we do stuff in the NBA too.
* I started my own poll at Devils Digest since I don't know how to do it here. It asked readers to vote for how long it would take for the 35-44-1 all-time record vs. UA to get evened up. The vast majority of voters chose 11-15 years, but unfortunately some folks from down south got involved and it turned into an argument about semantics and the interpretation of the written word, then forever banished to the rarely visited smack board.
* Dennis Erickson inked his fourth signee of the 2008 recruiting class, local offensive lineman Patrick Jamison, who was suited by Erickson since his last name is a fantastic whiskey. Jamison also received scholarship offers from UCLA, Tennessee, Oregon State, Boise State, UNLV, and Arizona.
Thanks to google image search, I was also reminded that "Jameson" is also the last name of a prominent porn star.* Apparrently KTAR 620 was late to Pac-10 media day since they only have audio of Jim Harbaugh, Pete Carroll, and Karl Dorrell available on their website. Admittedly I was also late to link up to it, that's why I was looking. As soon as I can find a complete archived audio file of the proceedings I'll pick apart everything Dennis Erickson says and take a few pokes at Mike Stoops.
Labels: anecdotal evidence, ASU alumni, blog links, dirty icky recruiting, hatred for the 4-letter network, hoops, movie references, regular old crackers, rivalry rants, surrounded by morons, UA morons
Monday, July 23, 2007
Premature Premonitions, Part II: Defense & Special Teams
DL- Kyle Caldwell and Jordan Hill were three-year starters and while neither were Terrell Suggs-level superstars their presence will severely be missed. Hill moved to DT from linebacker and was undersized until his senior year, while a myriad of injuries kept Caldwell from reaching his true potential. The remaining starters look good and they’re surrounded by a lot of raw talent. BYU transfer Mike Marquandt was a lane-clogging beast from day one and Dexter Davis, last year’s supposed question mark as a redshirt freshman, became a bigger weapon at rush end than Caldwell by season’s finish. Marquandt will be helped at tackle by Florida transfer Tranell Morant, who transferred two years ago but made little impact at defensive end last year. Erickson has moved him inside but I wonder if he has the bulk to compete in the middle. Backups include seemingly eighth-year senior David Smith along with redshirt freshmen Jon Hargis, Zach Niusulu, and offensive line convert Saia Falahola. Highly touted JuCo transfer Luis Vasquez is penciled in as the other starter at DE, and his supporting cast features veterans Wes Evans and Kellen Mills who have seen little game time during their Sun Devil careers. Expect JuCo transfers Alex Asi and Eric Tanner to be featured prominently in the defensive end rotation.
LB- There is a glut of young talent at linebacker with an emphasis on young. Four of the top six LB’s return from last year but few have more than one year of experience in Maroon and Gold. Local boy Gerald Munns, Pat Tillman look-alike Travis Goethel, and former LA Dodger Mike Nixon stepped in as true freshmen and saw a lot of the field playing beyond the expectations of most. Ryan McFoy saw playing time as a nickel back last year as a true frosh and he will be thrust into the mix at LB along with JuCo transfer Morris Wooten, who some consider talented enough to be a starter right away. The three starting spots are up for grabs among Goethel, Nixon, Wooten, Munns, McFoy, and senior Robert James who is returning after recovering from chronic headaches. Backups that should be in the rotation will be Chad Lindsey, Garrett Judah, and redshirt freshmen Jamarr Robinson and Jeff Bereuter.CB- Ah, the fun begins. Shockingly enough Keno Walter-White will be missed because nobody seems capable of starting at the number two corner sport. The good news is that Justin Tryon is as close to a lock-down corner as anyone at ASU in the last few years, even though the folks at Cal don’t care for him too much. Chad Green’s unfortunate car accident affects the depth chart but he was one of several that simply shouldn’t make the cut as a starter. Chris Baloney was the hero against NAU in last year’s opener, getting a pick-6 that sealed the win. Nagging injuries throughout the 2006 season kept his productivity down but he appears to be the best of the rest. Help could be on the way in the form of true frosh Omar Bolden, a highly touted recruit that has yet to be academically approved by the NCAA clearinghouse. Many believe that he possesses the physical tools to play corner in the Pac-10 right away, but the phrase ”counting the chickens before they’ve hatched” comes to mind. Travis Smith, Litrele Jones, Grant Crunkleton, and JuCo transfer Jarrell Holman will also be in the mix as back-ups.
Safety- Josh Barrett is racking up tons of preseason accolades and will be the anchor in the secondary. The departure of Zach Catanese leaves the other spot wide open but this looks like the best defensive unit on the team. I thought that Ryan McFoy’s solid play last year would be enough to garner the starting free safety spot but one of Dennis Erickson’s first actions this spring was moving him to linebacker. He did so because of the emergence of Troy Nolan, the defensive MVP of spring camp who will be in close competition for the starting spot with Jeremy Payton. Returnees Rodney Cox and Angelo Fobbs-Valentino will provide back up support while true freshmen Colin Parker and Oliver Aaron may see the field in case of injury.
The defensive unit as a whole is a giant question mark. Teams with multiple high-quality receivers (Cal, USC) will give the corners fits but the biggest question is at defensive line with all of the unproven players. The ability to pressure the opposing quarterback while rushing only four was the key to defensive success last year and problems typically occurred when the corners and safeties cheated in to help with the run leaving the DB’s in single coverage. As crazy and forward-thinking as it sounds, the ability to control the line of scrimmage will be paramount in the success of the Devil D. The early season schedule is soft enough that the team should be working together and picking up schemes by the time conference play begins. A longstanding issue in Tempe has been that the caliber of defensive players under Dirk Koetter was not up to the level of their conference foes. Better players were being recruited in the last two years and there was marked improvement from 2005 to 2006, but the personnel issue still remains: does ASU have the horses to run with USC, et. al?
ST- Four-year starter Jesse Ainsworth departs and while he didn’t win any awards he was, in a word, consistent. Kickoffs were always deep in the endzone and he was almost automatic on field goals inside of 40 yards. Thomas Weber arrives unproven and will have to adjust to big crowds quickly. Jonathan Johnson was solid at punter with zero blocked and big hang times, however he wasn’t immune to the occasional shank and outkicked his coverage a few times; hopefully an extra year will provide more consistency. Ultra-reliable long snapper Jason Burke will have to be replaced as well. Terry Richardson (left, saving Koetter's job in the 2005 Duel) departs as one of the best kick/punt returners in recent memory and his position is up for grabs among Kyle Williams, Rudy Burgess, and Chris McGaha. Coverage will be a wild card as Koetter usually used the top athletes on special teams and it is currently unknown how Erickson is going to fill those spots. Keegan Herring and Justin Tryon were excellent gunners on punts last season but no one really knows how kickoff coverage will be since Ainsworth allowed so few returns. Many people are happy to see Tom Osborne go but the punting unit was the only one of the four that had significant troubles during his tenure as special teams coach. I'll take a look at the schedule and make a few predictions in Part III, which will be up within a couple of days.
Labels: ASU alumni, Dirk's a horse's ass, dirty icky recruiting, the new era
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Possession Receiving at it's finest
Labels: ASU alumni
Friday, June 22, 2007
Your Alumni vs. Our Alumni
It could be worse, at least that's not Sentinel peak in the background.The handsome man in the above picture is a buddy of UAHater, one of my favorite message board personalities. The second entry comes from an MSN Money article. To wit:
Mark Williams, who holds a degree in archaeology from the University of Arizona, is a cook at a nearby Denny's (DENN, news, msgs). After entering the CNBC contest, he didn't make it out of the contest's 10-week first round.Keep reaching for the stars, Wilbur.
Labels: ASU alumni, blog links, regular old crackers, rivalry rants, UA morons
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Because posting this picture never gets old.
I like the maroon pants better than the gold ones for the road unis. To each their own, but I think the attachment to these uniforms comes from a longing for the success of the 1996 season (see above photo). The last time ASU donned the maroon pants was the rivalry game in 2001 where ASU was defeated by a John Mackovic-led *gasp!* Arizona team that ended in a midfield brawl. The great thing about the dark pants is that no one can bring up the second arguement, which is constantly griped about but never solved.The gold in the helmets is different than the gold in the pants. This is absolutely true, and has been so for at least 10 years, probably a lot longer. The helmets haven't changed since I arrived in Tempe in 1997, but the shirts and pants have changed from Champion to Adidas to the disastrous 2003 experiment(see below) to Nike. My guess is that the helmet consistency comes down from administrative/alumni blowhards that love it and will not see it changed for any reason, and I agree to a point. The two issues at hand are making the uniform trim "pop" and being able to match the colors on different media/materials. I love the bright gold that you find on the jersey trim along with the student section t-shirts and if they were made to match the helmets they would appear to be a shit-mustard yellow of which no one would approve; we'd probably even lose recruits over it. At the same time, the helmets really are perfect, so why mess with them? The pants are made of stretchy lycra stuff that has a glittery effect and thus doesn't hold color as consistently as plastic or cotton. The stretch factor also comes into play with the pants since they become more translucent as they are stretched further. Derek Hagan wore pants tight enough to go clubbing in Ibiza, and it affected their appearance. I only know because you could see his jock strap from behind, not that I was looking. Not that there's anything wrong with that. What to do here? Hell, I don't know. Wash 'em until they match.
It's ok to look.
What about putting the interlocking A-S/a pitchfork/the sunburst logo on the helmet? Get the fuck outta my face with that shit. Sparky is teh hottness, and should be treated accordingly.
We should change to a natural gold a la BC/Florida State/Navy. No, we shouldn't. If you think we have problems with our gold consistency now, try making t-shirts that look like glittering gold. Wake Forest students looked khaki until they switched to tie-dye, and I'm pretty sure that's why the Notre Dame student section wears green. We're also not switching the gold to copper due to its historical relevance as one of Arizona's chief exports.
What about making an alternate gold jersey, like Notre Dame has the green ones? I have unsuccessfully searched far and wide (on the internet) for photos but Sun Devil legend says that we actually tried this once. It was a game against UA and something worthwhile was on the line for ASU- bowl berth, conference title, something like that. The team warmed up in maroon jersies and gold pants, went into the locker room for a pep talk, and charged on to the field wearing a gold/gold combination. We lost that day, they were forever labeled as the banana uniforms, and they haven't been seen since. The maroon/maroon combination was successfully used against UA in 1999, but after the aforementioned loss and subsequent brawl of 2001 they were also retired.
What about modernizing them by adding piping, sabres, black trim, etc? We tried that once and it was a shitstorm. Stick your click-clack where the sun don't shine. I mean, you've seen Oregon play in the last few years, right?
One thing we all agree on: 2003 was totally fucked up.
The whole concept is mindless drivel to get us through the long, hot summer until the season arrives. The concept of changing our uniforms reaches another depth of mindlessness since Sparky leads the nation's mascots in badassery and our color scheme is unique (don't tell anyone from Minnesota) withot being weird(re: Oregon). Remember folks, no offseason news is good offseason news when Dennis Erickson is your coach.
Labels: anecdotal evidence, ASU alumni, Greatest Fark Evah, message board nonsense, the offseason sucks
Monday, June 11, 2007
Going Back To Omaha
The Sun Devil baseball squad cruised through the NCAA playoffs going undefeated in Regional and Super Regional play, most recently topping Ole Miss 7-1 to clinch a berth in next week's College World Series. For those unaware, "playoffs" are a high-tech method for determining the league champion, and many find it a better system than letting writers and computers vote for it. This will be ASU's 20th appearance in the CWS.
Five of the top eight national seeds have already been eliminated from CWS contention, theoretically clearing the path for ASU's sixth National Championship. Other teams making travel plans to Omaha are Cal State Fullerton, UC Irvine, Rice, Louisville, Mississippi State, and North Carolina. The eighth team to be selected is the winner of the Michigan/Oregon State series which the Beavers lead 1-0. The Beavers, whom ASU owns this season, were last year's CWS Champs.
* Congrats are in order for the Sun Devil ladies track team, who brought home the NC. Bravo to you all.
Where's your SEC speed now?* And finally, reason # 11,847 that ASU is better than U of A: Chris McAlister vs. Jason Simmons. ASU alum Simmons seized a similar opportunity to donate to a worthwhile charity and Wildcat McAlister, well, just check the quote from FoxSports.com:
Douche."Willis McGahee was sitting outside the Baltimore Ravens' locker room Thursday
when cornerback Chris McAlister walked by, rubbing his fingers together - the
universal sign used to ask for money.
McAlister was offering to sell McGahee jersey No. 21, which the running back wore during his turbulent tenure with the Buffalo Bills."
Labels: ASU alumni, other sports, the offseason sucks
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Champions, Bitches!
* ASU whipped UA 8-5 last night at Packard Stadium to win the Pac-10 title outright, and the win ought to secure a home slot in both the regional and super regional in the upcoming NCAA tournament. The only thing left on the line is pride, and one more win against the Cats will give the Sun Devils the season advantage against the hated ferals of the south. The Diamondbacks must be doing really poorly right now, because the local media is all over this series. Both papers even sent photograpers *gasp!* to Wednesday's victory.
* Speaking of champions, congrats to Jordin Sparks for winning American Idol. Proud papa and former Sun Devil footballer Phillippi Sparks was in attendance for his daughter's win. Yeah, I watched some of it. So I'm a little gay. Sue me.
* Speaking of gay, M-Zone has unearthed a picture of former USC Trojan Carson Palmer...uh, just look at it for yourself.
* And finally, Jason Simmons is the shit. He played safety next to Fright Night Freedman in the mid/late 1990's, and luckily none of the evil rubbed off on him. Rather than make money on new teammate Ahman Green's desire to wear Simmons' #30, he told Green that he would have to donate the money to a needy single mother in the form of a down payment on a new home.
Labels: anecdotal evidence, ASU alumni, other sports, regular old crackers, rivalry rants, the offseason sucks
Thursday, May 17, 2007
The scandalous conclusion
Honorable Mention: Courtney Simpson and Eddie House
#11: Courtney Jackson
#10: Bryson Krueger
#9: Ryan Kealy
#8: Connor Banks
#7: JR Redmond
#6: Hakim Hill
#5: Barry Bonds
#4: UAC student section (basketball, 1984-1988)
And without further adieu, the top criminals in the history of Arizona State University.
Honorable mention part III: the military industrial complex, 2004-present. They murdered Pat Tillman and lied to cover it up. Not much to say since more facts come to light each day. Is a government worth preserving when it lies to it's people?
Somewhat ironic thet they're seen here together.
#3: Mitchell "Fright Night" Freedman, football, 1994-1998. First, watch this. That's how he played all the time. Mean, crazy, and angry. Unfortunately that's also how he lived his life. Freedman is the only player on this list that gets his nickname on the subject line because it fits him so well, as Orson from EDSBS will attest. He once hit a BYU player so hard that both Freedman and the Mormon went to the hosptal after the game, and I have been told by those in attendance that he was screaming while running towards the victim. Where to begin? Well, how about this snippet from the AZ Republic:
Yikes. What's even scarier is that he wasn't even tried for the rapes that happened when he was a minor "because he was already going away for so long." I...I don't really know what else to say here. It's hard to imagine but his prison sentence may be longer than Loren Wade's after all is said and done.Mitchell Dehaven Freedman, 30, a safety who earned the nickname "Fright Night" because of the ferocity of his tackles, was found guilty of 15 counts, including five counts of sexual assault, four counts of sexual abuse, kidnapping, aggravated assault and armed robbery. He could face more than 100 years in prison for the sexual assault charges alone.
And then he still faces trial on two other rape cases, one from 2003 and one that allegedly took place in 1992, when Freedman was 16.
#2 Stevin Smith, Basketball, 1991-1994. You knew it was coming, and why shouldn't it top the list? Smith, nicknamed "Hedake" by his teammates, orchestrated a point shaving scandal in 1994 that espn will never let die. Isaac Burton shouldn't be getting off lightly either, but Smith seems to be the main guy everyone remembers, probably since he was such an effective player when he wasn't, you know, cheating.
The scandal started when Smith got into cahoots with the now famous campus bookie Benny Silman. Smith was allegedly in debt to him for over $10,000, and the two plotted to beat Oregon State by six or fewer points when the Devils were favored by 14 1/2. It worked and managed to line both of their pockets quite well. The exact same plan was employed two days later against Oregon State, and the Devils once again won by 6.
The final straw was the day of a game against Washington, after Smith and Silman began to gloat about their recent financial successes. The word spread quickly, and heavy betting ensued- so much so, in fact, that the line on the game changed 40 times that day and Vegas oddsmaker Roxy Roxborough pulled the game from the betting board, the first time he had done so in his 15-year career. The FBI was notified, but the investigations didn't take place until 1997, enough time for Smith, Burton, and then head coach Bill Frieder to leave the scene of the crime. The fallout landed squarely on those left to continue ASU men's basketball.
Hedake (misspelled on purpose to fit on the vanity plate of his car) did 10 months in federal prison, but the stink of the scandal still hasn't completely lifted from ASU. His 10 months isn't so bad considering Silman got four years, but Silman also got a tv-movie deal out of it. Whenever ASU basketball is mentioned, point-shaving is typically associated with it. I suppose that's better than "sucks," but still defaming. It is the black eye that will never heal.
#1: Loren Wade, football, 2002-2004. The official site has removed his player bio from their archives, and rightfully so. What kind of a school do we have when players are murdering former teammates, outside of a club no less? The arguement started one night in Scottsdale and was reportedly about a girl. As Brandon Falkner was pulling away, Wade fired a fatal shot into the driver's side window of his car. While this is sickening as a Sun Devil, the societal ills it brings to light are equally alarming. There are no winners here: the Falkner family is burdened with overwhelming grief, ASU has been sued, Koetter was blamed for a lack of control, and Wade will be imprisoned for life. A truly sad moment for anyone involved.
Labels: anecdotal evidence, ASU alumni, blog links, hatred for the 4-letter network, hoops, movie references, the offseason sucks, thug life
The son of scandals
The Sun Devil embarrassment list continues, but not before seeing who else is already on it.
Honorable mention: Courtney Simpson and Eddie House
#11: Courtney Jackson
#10: Bryson Krueger
#9: Ryan Kealy
#8: Connor Banks
#7: JR Redmond
#6: Hakim Hill
And away we go...
#5: Barry Bonds, Baseball, 1982-1986. Ahhh, now we're getting somewhere. For every ounce of pride I have when thinking that a Sun Devil will hold the most revered individual record in all of sports, there are five ounces of shame. Bonds' "achievement" (note spooky quotes) will tarnish Hank Aaron, the game of baseball, and eventually the Hall of Fame. One can argue that everyone else in baseball is doing it, but Bonds, along with McGwire, will be at the top of the memory list 50 years from now when folks begin reminiscing about the steroid era.
The tricky part of all of this is that there isn't any real proof. Bonds could be higher on the list if we actually knew he was using steroids, but then again he might not be. Part of what has made this story a circus is all of the mystery that surrounds it, dragging out exhaustive speculation. The only way this thing will ever end is if the truth comes out. Think about it- people still want to know who shot JFK, where Amelia Earhart is, and what happened to the Lindbergh baby. This will stand the test of time as well.
I'm a staunch believer in a man being innocent until proven guilty, but c'mon. Look at these pictures:
These are actually the same person.Sorry, Barry, I'm not buying what you're selling- unless you get traded to the Cubs. On a side note, the University is apparently ignoring the swirling rumors because the official site has a ton of information on Bonds and the chase for Aaron's record, including a few more (incriminating)pictures from Bonds' ASU days.
#4: Student Section, University Activity Center, 1984-1988. Anybody who has ever read this site knows my passionate hatred for the University of Arizona and everything it represents, but it is possible to go too far. UA shooting guard Steve Kerr's father was murdered in 1984 while he was the president of the American University in Beirut, and Kerr didn't receive the warmest welcome in his first trip back to the hardwood.
There's a lot of conflicting information on the exact timeline of events, but Tucson legend will tell you that two days after the murder Steve cried before a game against ASU in Tempe but took the floor anyway. Rather than a warm reception, he was welcomed by chants of PLO! PLO! PLO!, not to mention other slurs such as Where's your dad? and Go back to Beirut! Kerr responded by dropping 20 first-half points on the Devils in yet another rout of ASU.
Having been to more than my fair share of ASU/UA basketball games, I'm positive that this actually happened, the only conflicts in the story are when it happened. Whle the murder happened in '84, the 20-point first half happened in '88. My personal guess is that the jeering happened all four times Kerr took the floor in Tempe. Not that I condone it or anything, that's just my experience with the locals.
Labels: anecdotal evidence, ASU alumni, drugs, movie references, other sports, rivalry rants, the offseason sucks, thug life
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Scandals, etc.
Honorable mention: Courtney Simpson & Eddie House
#11: Courtney Jackson
#10: Bryson Krueger
#9: Ryan Kealy
#8: Connor Banks
...and so on. We're sticking with the gridiron once again today since I can't seem to be able to dig up any dirt on Grace Park or Paul Casey. Away we go!
#7: JR Redmond, football, 1995-1999. I actualy heard this story two days before it broke from a good friend that worked at Sun Devil Stadium. It's a weird one, so stick with me. It was announced on a Friday that Redmond wouldn't play in the following day's matchup against the Oregon Ducks, a game that had serious implications on the Pac-10 race. Redmond's girlfriend worked for the University and, as most relationships go, bought her boyfriend presents, did his laundry, etc. Redmond's draft stock rose throughout his career and he was projcted to go in the late first/early second round of the upcoming NFL Draft.
The girlfriend was well aware of this and threatened to report all of the girlfriendly things she had done (and kept reciepts for) to the NCAA unless Redmond married her without a pre-nuptial agreement. A university employee is prohibited by the NCAA from giving gifts to student-athletes, and the bitch wanted to be legally tied to the millions Redmond was projected to make in the NFL.
The not-so-happy couple went to Las Vegas during the bye week, got a shotgun wedding, and returned to Tempe with dollar signs in her eyes. Redmond finally broke down and told Coach Snyder the gory details, so Snyder suspended him a game just for good measure and he reported everything that happened to the NCAA himself. The wedding was anulled and to my knowledge the bitch didn't get a cent after Redmond went pro. Redmond wasn't able to shake the stink of the scandal by draft day and he eventualy went to the New England Patriots in the third round, where he won a world championship and was an integral part of the game-winning drives of both Super Bowl XXXVI and the "snow bowl" AFC Championship that preceeded it.
This is so high on the list because JR Redmond is one of my all-time favorite Sun Devils and an absolute badass.
#6: Hakim Hill, football, 2001-2003. In a football-serious college town like Iowa City, it's surprising when the home school doesn't recruit a talented, decorated, and successful local athlete but hey, it takes a special person to get banned from a country. Hill was recruited by Dirk Koetter, most likely due to alumni pressure since his father happens to be ASU legend JD Hill. Hill's recruitment was altered due to rape charges he picked up in high school, but that's only the beginning, as his rap sheet is longer than anyone else on this list. Koetter kicked him off the team for punching teammate Matt Miller following a loss to Arizona. A lot of people wanted to punch Miller in the face after dropping a pass on the goal line that sealed the loss, but people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones as Hill himself fumbled on the goal line that awful, awful day, not that I'm bitter or anything.
Hill's problems include multiple DUI's, stealing paintball equipment, bribing cops, fighting cops, the aforementioned charge of raping a 15 year-old in a classroom, along with some drunk and disorderly conduct. He has been booted off the team at both ASU and Northern Iowa, plus Toronto and Saskatchewan of the CFL. Add to that, he has tarnished the image of one of ASU's all-time greats. He was part of one of ASU's deepest backfields since 1996, including the foursome of Hakim Hill, Randy Hill, Cornell Canidate, and- you guessed it- Loren Wade. A year later, those four were arrested, injured, injured, and arrested, so Rudy Burgess converted from WR to fill the void and asserted his badassery at running back.
Labels: anecdotal evidence, ASU alumni, drugs, rivalry rants, Rudy Fucking Burgess, the offseason sucks, thug life
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
ASU Scandals, continued
Honorable mention part II: Eddie House, basketball, 1995-1999. Best joke on campus in the fall of 1997: Hey, did you know that Eddie House leads the team in steals? He got a CD player, a bike, a car...yada yada yada. House stole a CD player from a freshman girl's Manzanita dorm room, but he doesn't crack the top ten as this was merely an exclamation point at the end of the Bill Frieder era at ASU. More on this later in the week, but Bill Frieder's legacy lived on even after the FBI chased him out.
#9: Ryan Kealy, football, 1996-2000. A guy that will go down as one of the most hated football players in ASU history, Kealy was known on the field for sailing passes, ruptured knee tendons, and a quality of play that actually got worse as time went on. Off the field, he was known to be a drunken moron, a man-whore, and a big fan of the booger sugar. At parties, fellow players were known to make fun of him- not exactly what you want to hear about a team leader. Kealy was pulled over in the middle of the intersection of Rio Salado Parkway and Packard Drive, barefoot, drunk, and hopped up on pain killers from yet another knee surgery. When the cop approached the vehicle and gave the standard line of questioning, Kealy offered this classic quote: "I ain't trippin'. I got a good lawyer. My dad is a big baller. Let's go, let's roll." Kealy planned to apply for a 6th year of eligibility, but the newly hired Dirk Koetter told him not to bother as he wouldn't be allowed on the team.
#8: Connor Banks, football, 2001-2004. In April 2004 Pat Tillman was killed in Afghanistan and was immediately dubbed an American hero for the sacrifices he made to defend his country. Banks wore number 42 at the time, and even though plans had been made to retire Tillman's #42 at season's end, Banks would be allowed to wear it during his senior season and he would also lead the team out of the tunnel before each game while carrying the American flag. Here's the quote from Banks regarding the honor:
"I feel so much pride for what he has done for the community and this nation. For him to give up his football career and go overseas to fight for his country and fight for what he feels is right is a great thing for the nation."In June 2004, less than two months after the aforementioned incidents, Banks was arrested for DUI, criminal damage, driving across a median, and striking a fixture on the highway. He blew a .27 BAC and was so drunk that he drove his SUV into his Scottsdale apartment building. Banks had a lackluster senior year while wearing jersey number 58.
Labels: anecdotal evidence, ASU alumni, I miss college, the offseason sucks, thug life
Monday, May 14, 2007
You call that a scandal?
What trial?What ASU really needs is a Wag The Dog-style distraction of epic proportions to keep this thing buried in the back of the paper. I can't say I'm rooting for a terrorist attack or anything, even though it was effective when my fraternity got kicked off campus thanks to a drunk driver- not that you ever heard about it since it happened during the first week of September 2001.
In the spirit of black eyes for ASU, I've compiled a small list of scandals in the 85281. None of them are as bad as a player killing a former teammate, but it didn't take more than a single sitting to come up with #'s 2-11. We'll do a couple of them at a time, just so you Sun Devil diehards have something to read other than Wade's affiliation with ASU and Dirk Koetter's percieved lack of institutional control. Without further adieu...
Honorable mention: Courtney Simpson. Ex-ASU cheerleader goes porno in dashing style, making her professional debut in her ASU cheer uniform. No reason to beat this dead horse, especially since the M-Zone mentions her at least once a week.
#11: Courtney Jackson, football, 1996-1999. The scapegoat of the 1997 Rose Bowl, sure, but this tale isn't as well known as that debacle. Like the last minute breakdown against Ohio State, however, Jackson had accomplices. In the spring of 1998 a friend of mine, who we'll call Nate, came down with a case of the crabs. He got them from the supreme queen of jizz-jars of Sonora Hall, who claims to have gotten them from Jackson. You would have thought David Boston burned them all off the previous January, but oh no. Not a news story, sure, but still funny. Everyone needs another reason to hate Courtney Jackson. Disagree? Just check out this photo. That's ASU's national championship in Boston's hands.
#10: Bryson Krueger, men's basketball, 2004-2006. This is a lot lower on the list than it probably ought to be, but it stays at ten since absolutely no one gives a hoot about ASU hoops. The upcoming basketball season was looking bright with the firing of Rob Evans and a starting backcourt of Kevin Kruger and Bryson Krueger. Kevin transferred to UNLV and led them to the sweet sixteen, but Bryson's fate was not so sweet. He was arrested last March for possession of Ex, Coke, Zanex, and an unregistered .40-cal handgun. Again, this is a big deal for a hometown athlete who could be considered a standout on a divison-1 basketball team, but it's ASU basketball. In 2005-2006, the Devils could hardly be considered D-1.
The list continues this week with DUI's, theft, and other federal charges. Stay tuned!
Labels: anecdotal evidence, ASU alumni, blog links, hoops, movie references, the offseason sucks, thug life
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
A statement from Chad Green's mother
Statement from Kay Green, Chad Green's Mother
Green's condition has stabilized enough for him to be transported to Southern California
April 30, 2007
"I would like to thank Chad's ASU coaches, teammates, fans and friends for all of their support during this difficult time. That support has meant a lot to our family. Chad's condition has stabilized enough for us to transport him to a step-down facility in California near our home. Chad continues to gradually improve and with your support we are all hopeful for continued improvement in his condition. We urge people who want to send something to Chad to continue to forward it to the Sun Devil Football Office. That correspondence means a lot to the Green family. Thank you."
Anyone interested in sending a card or a note to Chad and the Green family, please send it to:
Chad Green c/o The Sun Devil Football Office Arizona State University The Carson Center P.O. Box 872505 Tempe, Arizona, 85287-2505
We're all rooting for you, Chad. Labels: ASU alumni, Pac-10 business, the offseason sucks
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Regular Old Crackers for your starved football soul
To quench your Sun Devil thirst, here is a link to the "This Is Sun Devil Football" section of the 2006 media guide, chock full of photo collages which are always fun for all. For cheap, evil laughs, page 34 of your .pdf has a slew of notable quotes about the departed coach Koetter and what a genius football mind he possesses. You can peruse the rest of the media guide by section at this link.
Finally, tomorrow is my 28th birthday so there will be no posting due to me sneaking out of the office for some quality day drinking. If you care to join me this weekend for beverages, draft watching, and tales of how dominant Terrell Suggs was at ASU, drop me a line at houseofheat -at- gmail.com.
These eyes are either lusting after a quarterback or a double whopper. You make the call, but get out of the way. Quick.Labels: anecdotal evidence, ASU alumni, hatred for the 4-letter network, regular old crackers, the offseason sucks
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Echo from the butte
Hayden Butte, in all it's glory."A" Mountain, or Hayden Butte if you're all accurate and shit, is the natural landmark at the North end of ASU's campus. This article in the AZ Republic gives a brief history of the rock and the letters that have been emblazoned on its face, which have included "N," "T," and the solid concrete "A" that sits there today.
Reading the article brought back a swath of memories from my undergrad days in Tempe, including my second day on campus. I had read somewhere in the grandiose pile of freshman literature that it was a tradition to whitewash the "A" as a freshman, so I trekked up the face of that large hill in 110+ degree weather and slopped on a coat with the Student Alumni Association, which I soon joined. The lure of the organization was that their mission statement included the promotion of traditions, and what better way for an East Coast exile to learn about his new school? It didn't take long to realize that ASU didn't really have many traditions, but that's neither here nor there. My duties mostly included repainting the "A" gold after someone else vandalized it, which worked out to about once a week.
The few traditions in which I participated, including Lantern Walk, were actually pretty cool; the Butte looks surreal when several thousand feet of white Christmas lights are strapped to it's face and fireworks are going off overhead. However ASU's greatest traditions- drinking and girls- were a regular staple in the 85281 during my tenure. The point is this- Take part in tradition you undergrads, even if that means starting new ones. These are the stupid little things that will connect you with your alma mater in the future, whatever it may be. Besides, it's stories like these that keep your kids from bugging you.
One last thing- we need to come up with a nickname for Sun Devil Linebacker Morris Wooten. I'll suck a cock on the Golden Gate Bridge before I endure another two years of an ASU player with the nickname "Cat,"*** so don't even bother with the "9 Lives" routine. Try using an idea along the lines of "Woo-tang," or God forbid something original. Leave comments beow.
***- No offense to Zach Catanese, who is a total badass.
Labels: anecdotal evidence, ASU alumni, the offseason sucks
Thursday, April 05, 2007
Regular Old Crackers
* Practices have been fast-paced, hard hitting, and the players are actually enjoying them. They have been so hard hitting, in fact, that several players have missed practice time due to concussions and headaches.
* Rudy Fucking Burgess had his first practice yesterday [Monday, actually -ed.] after missing the first week of spring ball due to lingering problems with a high-ankle sprain he suffered late last year (stupid defense). Rudy Carpenter said he looked good and that he will definitely be an asset because of his wealth of game experience.
RFB, straight pimpin'.
* It looks like the running game will be the best it’s been since the days of JR Redmond. Ryan Torain will be just as good as he was last season and should contend for 1st team Pac-10 honors. Keegan Herring has missed some practices due to injury but Dmitri Nance has been doing a great job in his absence. Coach E thinks Nance will see plenty of playing time because of his ability to catch the ball out of the backfield.
* Zach Krula is back on the offensive line after missing the majority of the last two seasons with a broken ankle. He is supposedly knocking people around and should be the best Hell Hog this year.
* Rudy Carpenter played most of last year with broken hands. And here I thought he just sucked.
* Coach Erickson likes the talent of the receivers but sees that they are inexperienced and need coaching. He thinks that Brandon Smith could be as good as current Cincinnati Bengal Chad Johnson was when DE coached him at Oregon State- if he puts the work in. Smith is 6’3” and runs a 4.3 40-yard dash. True sophomore WR Kyle Williams has been burning people in practice, including a 70-yard TD off of a short pass in the first scrimmage.
* Morris Wooten, a JuCo signee from Glendale CC, looks like one of the top linebackers on the team and is being compared to former ASU/GCC badass Dale Robinson, who won Pac-10 co-defensive player of the year two seasons ago. Ryan McFoy is being moved from safety to linebacker. Coach E cited his speed, hard-hitting nature and pass-coverage skills as the reason. He’ll need to bulk up, but I think he has the talent to do it. One of the reasons for the move is that Troy Nolan has been knocking people on their asses at practice, and paired with senior Josh Barrett they should be a couple of good safeties. Pat Tillman look-alike Travis Goethel will be the third starting LB. Our defensive weaknesses, as usual, are at one corner and interior D-line.
* We might actually be able to kick this year!
* There is also this warm fuzzy article by espn's Ivan Maisel.
* Also of note, AnswertheScratch.com has renamed itself SUNDEVILGRIDIRON.COM. I think it's required to be spelled in caps, or Frank Kush will hunt me down and barbecue my carcass. It's mostly the same content, but there is a new 'fan story' and the intro video features Erickson and Kush together, salivating at the fact that ASU is going to run the ball and play physically. A novel idea, sure, but you get the sense while watching that Coach Kush really hated Koetter's schemes. That's ok though, most of us did anyway. Now if we could only get rid of those cursed 'Sun Devil Laws.'
Labels: ASU alumni, regular old crackers, Rudy Fucking Burgess, the new era
Friday, March 23, 2007
I Still Like Ike
I absolutely adore March Madness. While the first two rounds are tailor-made for ditching out of work to go to a bar, the second two are perfect for at-home viewing. There are only two games going at a time, requiring a bit more focus than you can get at a bar, specifically the option of sound.
Over the years I have watched far more tournament minutes than I have missed, and CBS has been the exclusive carrier of the tourney for most of my life. After a couple decades of intense viewership, one tends to notice repititions in CBS' coverage and the same old schtick gets tiresome. If you aren't going to be at a bar, you might as well get snookered in the friendly confines of your own home. For your personal entertainment, I have devised a NCAA tournament drinking game. The rules are as follows, and you'll note that none of the rules really have anything to do with the actual game of basketball, just CBS' average-at-best coverage of it.
One drink
For every Master’s commercial
Whenever CBS mentions how exclusive their coverage is
For every “game reset” or “game summary”
Anytime you hear the word “Cingular”
Whenever Nantz and Packer throw to Greg Gumbel
A close up of a band geek or cheerleader
Any time a bracket is displayed on screen
Two drinks
Two commercial breaks without any game action in between
Two commercial breaks on consecutive dead ball whistles
Anytime Jim Nantz makes a pun using a player/team name
Anytime Billy Packer repeats a point *this can get you in trouble
Anytime Packer explains a rule
Three drinks
Billy Packer tells a story about a different NCAA tournament
Billy Packer tells a story about when he played
When the incredibly uninformative “tournament summary” is displayed
Anytime Nantz gives Packer a Jim Lampley-style gay smile on camera
Finish!
Anytime anyone says “one shining moment”
Any kind of technical malfunction
It gets a bit old sacrificing a weekend just to watch 16 hours of basketball, especially when it isn't the Sun Devils. Why not induce liver disease?
Labels: anecdotal evidence, ASU alumni, hoops, I'm a big fatass, tailgating
