The House Of Heat

I've never cared too much for Texas, and growing up in Oklahoma I didn't find too many folks who did. They weren't the hated archrival that they are today; in the 1980's the Horns were in a relative slump and Oklahoma was contending for the National Championship every season. Our bitter rival was Nebraska, as more often than not the winner of that game would play against Miami in the Orange Bowl with major title implications. Texas wasn't even a conference game in those days, as they were still the overlords of the old SWC. Obviously times have changed, but I still have loyalties to the Sooners. This game will be a lot of fun for me, even though I'll be watching it from my couch.

We're not just playing the University of Texas- we're playing the whole state, which happens to be a republic. Despite a number of quality football programs in the Lone Star state, the people of Texas unite around the Longhorns the same way they do with the Cowboys. This game will be very special for the eight Native Texans on the ASU roster.

# Name: Hometown (high school)
1 Mike Jones: Sugarland, TX (Fort Bend Austin)
20 Jonathan Clark: Arlington, TX (Seguin)
23 Chris Baloney: Houston, TX (Langham Creek)
31 Dmitri Nance: Euless, TX (Trinity)
46 Jeff Bereuter: Irving, TX (MacArthur)
48 Chad Lindsey: Houston, TX (Cypress Ridge)
71 Saia Falahola: Euless, TX (Trinity)
78 Julius Orieukwu: Houston, TX (Bellaire)

Leading up to big games against USC, Coach Kush was notorious for motivating the Sun Devil players who were California natives by taunting them during practice for never having been recruited by the Trojans. Dennis Erickson may or may not employ this strategy, but there ought to be at least some sort of chip applied to the shoulders of each of the aforementioned Texans.

Dmitri Nance received no recruiting attention from the Horns having split backfield time in his junior year, and he took it upon himself to recruit the Sun Devils leading up to his breakout senior year where he finished second all-time in single season yards in Texas 5A high school football history. Number one, of course, is Texas alum Cedric Benson.

Mike Jones was on Texas' radar but wasn't exactly a priority for Mack Brown's staff. From a 2003 Scout.com article:

Texas ATH Michael Jones has had good December trips to Oklahoma St and Arizona St. Missouri is set for this weekend. But if Texas comes calling, those trips won't matter much.

Sugar Land Austin (TX) WR/ATH Michael Jones says he'll commit to the Texas Longhorns if they come through with an offer. "They haven't talked to me about offering," says Jones. "But they've told me to keep them in mind. If they offered, I'd commit.

The offer never came but Jones isn't exactly ho-humming around Tempe, he's busy catching game-winning passes against U of A.


Who? MIKE JONES!

Heeeeey Pardner! For the rest of you who will be watching the Holiday Bowl on tv like me, take solace: Brent Musberger will be calling the game. Sure, we'll have to deal with him calling us "Wildcats" every so often (as he did during the 2005 Insight Bowl), not to mention the constant polestroking of Texas from the powerhouse Big XII sponsored by Dr. Pepper Jackaroooot, but there's one thing that will soothe the pain: the Brent Musberger Drinking game. Win or lose, you'll drink more booze.

If you're going to the game, the shirt shown above is available in maroon at Hornhater.com. The website, which is affiliated with no single school in particular, also accepts special orders on other colors (ahem, GOLD) so get cracking and be sure to get a batch in time for the trip to San Diego.

The Pacific Life Holiday Bowl
Thursday, December 27
8 pm EST on espn
www.holidaybowl.com

Labels: anecdotal evidence, blog links, getting ahead of ourselves

Everyone wants to be a superlative. Remember in high school when folks were proud of having their picture in the yearbook for class clown, cutest couple, and the like? Washington State coach Bill Doba apparently has his eye on "dumbest fucking coach on the planet." Dennis Franchione is taking poor coaching to another level by displaying ineffectiveness off the field, so Doba has also decided to step his game up because by golly, he wants to be remembered at the ten year reunion too. Come on down Bill, you savant:

“Arizona, I said … is the second- or third-best team in the conference. I still hold true to that,” Doba said. “They are talented – I think more than the team we’re facing this week [ASU].”

That's right, we're playing them this week. Bulletin board, anyone? In case you've been hiding in a deep hole, Arizona State is 5-0 and ranked 18th nationally. UA beat Washington State last week, and proud we are of all of them, but it was their first victory over a D1 opponent this season. This isn't just a pot shot at ASU either, Doba's insinuating that Arizona is better than Cal and/or Oregon as well.

Arizona is currently 1-3 against real teams, and don't give me that Appalachian State any given Saturday crap. With the exception of Cal the cats weren't playing the titans of the game either, posting losses to New Mexico in Tucson and at BYU.

Stupidity is punishible by many forms- pain, financial burden, or even a coaching stint in Jacksonville- but here's my suggestion for ASU to even the score, because being compared to Arizona football is an insult. I recommend the following final score on Saturday, photo style:

ASU


Wazzu


Take ASU, and the over. The spread is hovering around 9 if you feel like getting rich.

Labels: blog links, Dirk's a horse's ass, Pac-10 business, rivalry rants, surrounded by morons

This will be a weekly feature on the upcoming opponent and it's a bit of an homage to the M Zone's recurring "Know Your Foe" pieces. Enjoy!



The Vitals
Name: San Jose State University
Location: San Jose, CA
Established: 1857, as Minns’ Evening Normal School
Enrollment: 28,932
Motto: Powering Silicon Valley
Colors: Gold and White
Mascot: Spartans
Stadium: Spartan Stadium, capacity 30,456
Conference: Western Athletic (WAC)

San Jose State University is celebrating their sesquicentennial this year and proud we are of all of them. They pride themselves on being an incubator for the fucking yuppie interns of the local corporate scene, hence their motto “Powering Silicon Valley.” SJSU also wants to make sure you know that they are the oldest institution of higher education on the West Coast, lending to their other motto “where tradition meets tomorrow” even though it ought to be THIS IS SPARTAAAAAAH!!!

SJSU has a historical correlation with Arizona State as both were founded in the 19th century as Normal schools to educate frontier teachers. Tower Hall is considered the most recognizable building on the SJSU campus since their “Old Main” was destroyed in 1906 by…you guessed it, an earthquake.

Notable Alumni


Lindsey Buckingham & Stevie Nicks
OJ prosecutor Christopher Darden
Sissyboy NFL quarterback Jeff Garcia
Amy Tan, author of the unreadable The Joy Luck Club
The Smothers Brothers
John Carlos and Tommie Smith- shame on you for not knowing who they are.
The late great Bill Walsh
Dick Vermeil
Krazy George Henderson, inventor of the wave
Current student Joey “Jaws” Chestnut, human hot dog vacuum
Fulmer Cup Champion Ellis T. Jones, III
Joe Trippi, Howard Dean’s 2004 campaign manager who let this happen:



Athletics
SJSU boasts a bitchin’ judo program that has claimed 40 out of 44 possible National Championships. From their site, check it out:

SJSU Judo head coach Yosh Uchida — who also was the coach of the first U.S. Olympic judo team in 1964 — has established his Spartans program as a mecca for judo hopefuls. Over the years his SJSU teams have won 40 out of 44 national collegiate titles.

Coach Keith Nakasone was captain of the 1980 Olympic judo team, and Coach Mike Swain received the bronze medal in judo at the 1988 Olympic Games. Former team member and Olympian Ben Nighthorse Campbell, became a United States Senator representing Colorado.

They’re also pretty thrilled with their recent gridiron success, having just returned from their first bowl game in 16 years as they defeated New Mexico 20-12 in the 2006 New Mexico Bowl. The team is supported by the Spartan Squad, an organized student section club with their own website, t-shirts, and such. Those dicklickers have SJSU listed as playing motherfucking Arizona on September 1, so I hope somebody gives every single one of their beloved Spartans the DeSean Jackson treatment. They have this wacky tradition of putting three fingers in the air, not unlike our pitchfork, but its significance isn’t written anywhere on their websites. Fucking posers.

Spartan Spirit!

Head to head
The Sun Devils and Spartans last squared off in 2001 at Sun Devil Stadium and ASU gave the visitors a 53-15 smack. Surprisingly enough the Sun Devils only hold a 18-11 all-time record against the Spartans but have taken the last 11 dating back to 1967 and all but one of SJSU’s wins in the series came before 1961. Current SJSU head coach Dick Tomey is 9-5-1 lifetime against ASU, earning a 1979 victory as head coach of the University of Hawaii and the rest while coaching at the University of Arizona.

Rivalries
University of the Pacific is the school’s most genuine and oldest rival, as the two schools first played against each other before 1900 (no exact date given). They play each year for “The Bell” a bell-shaped trophy (duh) painted SJSU colors on one side and UP colors on the other. It is one of the oldest in collegiate sports as some believe it to have been introduced in the early 1900’s but again, no one seems to know for sure. Campus lore tells of a game in the late 1940’s where a fire truck was on the field before the game. (Why? I don’t have a fucking clue, just roll with it) The clouds rolled in and torrential rain ensued, so much so that the truck became stuck at centerfield and was unable to be moved. The Spartans triumphed after playing the entire game with the fire truck sitting on the 50-yard line. Pacific discontinued football in 1995 for unrelated reasons.

Fresno State is considered one of the Spartans' chief rivals and their football series dates back to 1921. FSU holds the series edge 35-33-3 but a more lopsided feel has been created in recent years due to the Bulldogs’ streak of 14 straight wins from 1992-2006. The SJSU campus hosts “no red” days whenever they host the Bulldogs and ask that the students and faculty wear as little red as possible. The teams meet annually as they are both WAC members.

A forced rivalry was formed with nearby Santa Clara in 2002. They play each other in all sports on a points-based system and compete for an unnamed trophy, basically because they’re only 4 miles apart.

Phil Steele says…
The Spartans were bowl eligible last year and despite losing their top three wide receivers and three of their top four tacklers this should be a better team, even though their record may not show it. Their schedule is a lot tougher with only 5 home games this season and Steele has his doubts since they benefited from +9 turnovers last year. Even with these challenges, he expects them to go bowling again in 2007. SJSU is 2-16 in their last 18 road openers and based on his outlook I don’t think he expects them to be successful against the Sun Devils.

I say…
Tomey scares the shit out of me. He’ll come to town with a hard-hitting defense, a bevy of trick plays, and confidence in the knowledge that he has owned ASU for the better part of his career. The Spartans are going to be pumped for this one and will want to make a statement against a BCS conference team. ASU will take Frank Kush Field for the first time in the Erickson regime, dealing with new schemes on both sides of the ball along with a new long snapper and kicker. I don’t know enough about the Spartans, so I’ll defer to Phil Steele's positive outlook on this one because after all if he says it, it’s gotta be true.

Related Websites
The University’s official site
Spartan Athletics
The Spartan Squad student association
The wikipedia page
The College Football Data Warehouse page

Labels: blog links, opponent previews

This is Colin Parker, ASU's freshman safety.


This is Colin too, 5 years earlier. Wait for it...


* Dan Zeiger of the East Valley Tribune unearthed this melancholy story from the Fresno Bee on the departed Derek Shaw, former Arizona State uber-recruit that transferred to Texas Tech only to leave Lubbock without so much as ever attending a single practice. It's good to hear that a kid with such a hellish background and head full of crap is finally starting to put things into perspective and figure things out for himself. It's not "just football," Derek.

* Tight end Dane Guthrie, who transferred from Florida and has yet to impress, has been moved to defensive end and has regained the form that had him so highly regarded coming out of Miami's Killian High School. Erickson notes his natural instinct and ability for the position, adding that his "great hip explosion," among other things, will make the switch permanent. The move came out of desperation after losing DE Luis Vasquez, DE Tranell Morant, and DT Saia Falahola to injuries that will threaten each of their respective playing time over the first month of the season.

* Sunday Morning Quarterback, the pinnacle of intelligent CFB blogging (journalism?) anywhere, is in the midst of Pac-10 Week where he lists ASU finishing 5th in the conference in his Binding Picks piece. Also be sure to check out how those enigmatic Oregon teams live life "On the Margins," why UA won't go bowling despite what they tell you, and "guest columnist Leo Tolstoy's thoughts on UCLA." It's like watching PBS- you will get smarter, or at least feel smarter.

Labels: blog links, regular old crackers

Ow, somethin' bit me!

This will be a recurring post as an easy to digest way of looking at the Sun Devils' health, and it'll be a lot easier now that Dirk Koetter and his no-injury-info-policy are in Jax-Vegas. Listed in order of importance:

Luis Vazquez, DE: High ankle sprain, out 2-4 weeks.
Troy Nolan, S: Shoulder strain, currently practicing (non-contact).
Saia Falahola, backup DT: partial triceps tear, out for the first four games.
Tranell Morant, backup DL: Knee (cartilege tear), out 2 months.
Eric Tanner, backup DL: bruised knee bone, out for one week.
Omar Bolden, CB: sprained ankle, day to day.
Jeremy Payton, S/CB: sprained ankle, day to day.
Brandon Smith, WR: sprained ankle, day to day.

Bolden, Smith, and Payton are already taking limited reps at practice, even though they're not at 100%. Rudy Burgess also fell victim to a sprained ankle but is back practcing at full speed. A huge gasp swept over Camp Tontozona when the highly-touted Bolden went down, but luckily it was a minor injury. Smith's injury was almost inconsequential because of the developing depth at wide receiver and the emergence of true freshman and rising superstar Kerry Taylor, who Coach Erickson said "will definitely play and may start."

Nolan practing this week is a huge surprise after a minimum prognosis of a two-week absence. Nolan was one of the stars of spring practice and caused Jeremy Payton to switch to corner, even though he'll probably be backing up both positions once the season begins. He's wearing a non-contact jersey for now, but should probably let it heal a bit more before really getting after it.

The injuries to Falahola, Morant, and Tanner would be low on the threat level pole if only one occurred at a time, but all three together plus the loss of projected starter Vasquez really hurts an already thin defensive line. Luis Vasquez was looking like he was going to be an anchor at defensive end opposite Dexter Davis, so hopefully he won't miss more than a game or two. Falahola has played well since switching over from the offense and looked like he was ready to contribute with the 2nd stringers, so his loss is probably the biggest ofthe three. Morant and Tanner have yet to show their value, but D-line is one place ASU can't afford to lose what little depth exists.

It's very disheartening to see so many of these injuries occurring on the defensive side of the ball where there is little room for error, even with everyone healthy. Coach E noted that this is the most ankle sprains he's seen in such a short period of time in his career, but would not aknowledge the Camp T turf as the cause, even though Rudy Carpenter pointed out that there are holes-a-plenty on the field- and he's not referring to the defense, either.

Someone who is referring to the defense is Coordinator Craig Bray, who let his guys have it in Scott Bordow's Friday column in the EVT. A few quotes from Bray, first on last year's much improved Devil D:

“I saw a lack of overall athleticism and speed, especially in the front seven. I was disappointed. As you visualize a place like this you would assume the one thing you can recruit is speed because speed likes warm weather and we get plenty of warm weather. So I was disappointed in that.”

Here's what I hear: Y'all suck, and you're slow. The fact that you won seven games with this bunch is pushing miracle status. And it's fucking hot out here.

On the D-line:

“We’re not big and we’re not quick. Probably the only legitimate guy up front where you could say he’s a Pac-10 guy is (tackle Michael) Marquardt.”

Davis is too small, Smith is too slow, and Vasquez still plays like a JuCo. The rest are too young.

On the #2 corner spot:

“We need a guy like Chris Baloney to finally say, 'Hey, I want to be the guy.’ That’s something he hasn’t done. I don’t know if he’s going to.”

Not solely an attack on Baloney. It sounds like it speaks to the level of hunger and desire of the position group as a whole, something that may be related to the previous coaching staff. Funny that CB coach Al Simmons was retained from Koetter's staff. Hmmm.

And finally on how long it will take for ASU's defense to improve:

“I think we’re a couple of recruiting classes away.”

This basically says to me that these guys suck and that they're not physically up to the challenge presented by USC and the other big boys of the Pac-10, but maybe they'll get lucky. It's also an indictment of Koetter's offense-heavy recruiting and the toll that Brent Guy took on the Sun Devil defense, although the new staff has been fairly polite when it comes to that sort of thing. Some would argue that he did it to motivate his guys before the Saturday scrimmage- which the defense dominated, oh by the way.

Coach Bray ain't takin' no shit from nobody.

Labels: blog links, injuries, Rudy Fucking Burgess, Shut up Carp, the new era

Rudy Carpenter, when asked what he thought about Rudy Carpenter-related blogs:

“I used to see that stuff all the time, and coming into this season I decided I wasn’t going to pay attention to that stuff anymore. The only blogs that make me mad is they always want to talk about me and Matt Leinart and Brynn Cameron. I don't understand why that's a big deal.

While this blog has been less than admirable of Carpenter's on-field performances in the last 13 months, I make it a rule of life to stay away from the baby momma drama, whether it's mine or somebody else's. Carp had plenty more to say after Saturday's practice, and the Trib's Scott Bordow offers this piece on Rudy's duality and the fun he's finally having.

There's plenty of special interest bukkake surrounding the first week of practice. Keegan Herring's personal struggles are front and center at the AZ Republic:

It's impossible to see through his megawatt smile to what the 20-year-old is feeling inside.

His father, Freeman, died Feb. 14 at age 47. His 23-year-old sister, Denisha Washington, died June 17. His aunt died two days after his sister, and he recently lost one of his best friends.

"Life is not easy right now," Herring said Saturday.

Rudy Carpenter has said publicly that he's going to do everything in his power to get Keegan the season's first touchdown. Other players and coaches have been supporting him, making sure he doesn't travel down the wrong path:

"I remember how I was, and I didn't handle it very good," said [ASU running backs coach Jamie] Christian, then a fullback at Fresno State. "I did a lot of bad stuff because I couldn't deal with the loss. I am keeping an eye on him. He's 10 times better than I was, the way he's handling it. It's hard, but the kid has got so much spirit. There's going to be days he'll be up and days he'll be down. I understand that."

Some may remember former Sun Devil Daryl Lightfoot, a young receiver with a ton of talent that unexpectedly lost his father in 2002. D-Light was suspended from and eventually quit the team for rules violations within months of the incident, so it's good to see everyone rallying around Herring. Every personal account I've heard or read states that Herring is a class guy with a lot of character, hopefully that will translate to success in life in the wake of these terrible tragedies.

* Coach Erickson spoke at length about the team's progress in the early stages of fall practice and addressed his relationship with ASU's director of football development, Frank Kush:

“Well I have to go up to the sixth floor from the third to see him. That ride up there is scary sometimes because you know that you are going to get either punched or hit or blocked or tackled, and you better make sure your technique is correct. Being around Frank Kush is the greatest thing that can happen to me. I have been an idol of his…he has been an idol of mine (laugh), I’m starting to sound like Michael Irvin. He has been an idol of mine for years and years. Ever since I started coaching I watched his teams."

Those in attendance at the press conference got a kick out of Eazy-E's self correction regarding the idol remarks and they were mentioned in both papers on Sunday, but no one has said diddly about the fact that he's afraid of getting punched or hit by Kush, a man who lost his job for assaulting a kicker. Even in jest, you know Kush is still pissed about that scumbag kicker and he's not a man I would mess with, even in his old age. I still think it's great that the pope of ASU football still gets a seat at the table.



The East Valley Tribune has a brief piece on sophomore defensive end Dexter Davis, who was expected to be little more than a warm body coming into last season but surprised many by leading the team in sacks and tackles for loss. Brandon Rodd talks about lining up against Davis everyday in practice:

After a year of going at each other, Rodd has an idea of what’s coming when Davis lines up opposite him. Rodd simply calls it ‘The Move,’ when Davis bursts around the edge, leaving the offensive lineman flailing. Rodd might not be able to stop it every time, but at least he knows what’s coming.

The younger players have no chance.

“He does The Move on me every day,” Rodd said. “I see it now, because I’ll watch film and say ‘That’s The Move.’ In practice I’ll walk up to him when he’s going against the rookies and I’ll tell him to do it. He knows that move is deadly.”

“He’s unbelievably quick,” Rodd said. “You wouldn’t even imagine just looking at him how fast he is. He’ll turn on the juice on the edge, and if you’re a big ol’ offensive lineman, you’re not keeping up with him.”

Defensive line coach Grady Stretz was skeptical of the undersized Davis' talent when he came to Tempe two years ago, but his work ethic coupled with his speed and leverage have proven Stretz and the rest of us wrong. Stretz had this to say:

“He had some tools, but he was just extremely raw. Early on in spring, in all honesty, I questioned how good a player he would end up being here.”

A few quick practice notes:
• Of the WRs, Erickson has been most impressed by Mike Jones, but he's been a practice all-star in the past without carrying it over to games.
• Eazy-E said that Kerry Taylor “is as polished of a receiver out of high school as [he has] been around in a long time” and he may not redshirt.
• Since Troy Nolan and Josh Barrett have the safety spots locked down, Jeremy Payton is getting some practice reps as a nickel back and at corner. CB Jarrell Holman is being moved to a backup safety role to make room for Payton.
• Kyle Williams was planning on playing baseball throughout spring practice, but after the coaching change he felt he owed it to the new coaching staff to concentrate full-time on football, even at the expense of ASU's College World Series losses.

I've done a little touching up around thanks to Mark, who started a brand spankin' new ASU blog, Pitchfork Nation. It's well written, looks professional, and it's promptly updated- it's basically everything this page isn't. Thanks Mark, hopefully we can push each other to be better like the running backs and not compete where one of us quits like last year’s quarterbacks. Lord knows I need the help.

Labels: blog links, Shut up Carp, the new era

Hot diggity, today is the first day of practice! I don't know if this was a Koetter thing or what, but if you're planning on going to practice make sure to call ahead at (480) 965-5053 and get approval to attend. The boys are at Kajikawa Practice Facility (Rural and 6th, Tempe) this week before heading to Camp T next Wednesday.

Even though the mainstream media gets a lot of flack here in the blogosphere, the Valley outlets have been on the ball and done some impressive stuff. In addition to everything mentioned yesterday, Dan Zeiger of the East Valley Tribune does a preview of fall camp and addresses the top 10 questions facing the Sun Devil program. I was actually very taken by this quip of original thought from the first question, addressing the transition from Koetter to Erickson:

Something to watch — though, if it emerges, it will likely not be during the preseason — is how the Sun Devils respond to their coach’s let-players-be-players philosophy. Although Erickson preaches accountability, could ASU choke on the freedoms he gives?

It lends itself to the preconceived notions that Erickson runs a thug program and that trouble brews out of his jetwash after he leaves a particular program, but the point is very valid. I could make the argument that one of the reasons my Fall '98 g.p.a. was a robust 0.67 was that I had too much free time to swill Killian's at the Vine and (theoretically) do bong hits on the roof of my house until 5 am. Just sayin'.

Over at the big paper, Jeff Metcalfe does an excellent job (as usual) of previewing some of the newer faces that will be big-time contributors this year including both newcomers and guys who have worked their way up the depth chart. He also pens a short piece on the coaching change and notes that Omar Bolden, the potential savior of the #2 corner position, will be allowed to practice. Per the same article I'm also stunned to find that the nephew of the O.G. Rudy is an ASU baseball recruit.

Coming soon to Packard Stadium: whiny pipsqueak.

I don't know if it's the coaching change bringing new life to the program or that everybody really hated Koetter for being a jerk to the media, but even the local radio shows are getting on the Sun Devil bandwagon more than usual. KTAR has archived interviews with both Rudy Carpenter and Coach Erickson, and XTRA 910 has an additional hour-long interview with Carp (it's in 4 different parts). For the record I think XTRA's Bickley and Jurecki are twits and KTAR's Doug and Wolf are even worse, but it's nice to hear directly from the guys that are putting the work in to make things better on Saturdays this fall.

Coach E (can we start calling him Eazy-E?) is charismatic and easy to like, but I feel like I'm being set up for a letdown- the more I admire him, the more I know he's going to break my heart even worse, like retiring and leaving us on double-secret probation. Oh well, a smarter feller than myself once said, "tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all." Just get ASU to the BCS, that's all I ask. You can get more of Eazy's charm and wit by watching the video of Pac-10 Media day. After the link, click on "archived video"underneath Sparky and the site may require a brief and free registration.

Rudy comes off... like Koetter I guess- not to be insulting, but he's very cerebral and calculated. He sounds like he's coming to grips with who he is and who he needs to be as the leader of this team. He has a fragile psyche reliant upon confidence, which it sounds like he has regained after working with Eazy-E all spring and summer and attending the Manning Passing Academy as an instructor, where NFL scouts told him he has one of the most accurate balls in college today. He said he also really valued being able to pick Peyton Manning's brain at every available opportunity. That confidence will have time to solidify thanks to the home-heavy and soft early season schedule. What will be important is how he rebounds after a bad game or a loss. The playbook will be easier for players to grasp (I'm looking at you, wide receivers) since there's only one for the entire season- apparently Koetter used a different one for each week depending on the opponent.

Erickson's offense allows Carpenter to be more instinctive and quick-thinking as a quarterback rather than over-scheming and removing that intuitiveness that makes good quarterbacks great. Carp's also extremely happy that Offensive Coordinator Rich Olson isn't trying to change his throwing mechanics. He says he wants to “go back to how I was, how Jake [Plummer]was- just playing football.”

The interviews aren't all nuts and bolts. Rudy joked that he and the receivers have been working on end zone celebrations and that new kicker Thomas Weber needs to get ready to kick 35-yard extra points. On the upcoming season, he's looking forward to redeeming himself after last year's piss-poor performance against Cal and the Thanksgiving game against USC is circled on everyone's calendar, although they are all aware of the importance of the in-state rivalry.

“The biggest game for me every year is always UofA” Carpenter added, but after speaking of the emergence of the running game as a strength, he made the quote of the week: “I might not have a lot of TD passes this year but I’ll probably have about 5 or 6 against UofA.” Yippee!

See, the mainstream isn't so bad. I'm a total linkwhore for Everyday Should Be Saturday, but their site is down right now since they have server issues. Do you think espn ever has that problem? I think not. Eh, fuck that shit. On a final note, I have a new must-read-daily fanboy crush on another blog, Kissing Suzy Kolber. It takes "crude" to an artistic level and it's good enough that it actually makes me care about the NFL and fantasy football. Their pop-culture references make me look like a boorish 50-something golf-playing husband and they host a weekly reader's mock draft that's fucking spectacular. Pothead Simpsons fans really make the best journalists, after all.

Labels: anecdotal evidence, blog links, Dirk's a horse's ass, Greatest Fark Evah, hatred for the 4-letter network, I miss college, QnA, Shut up Carp, the new era

* Lastly on a somewhat serious note, I've avoided taking shots at the current situatoin at UCLA. I'm taking the high road for once, and Conquest Chronicles put it better than I ever could. This eloquent summary comes from the Bruins' crossown rivals, and you know I wouldn't be able to resist if this sort of thing happened in Tucson. Bravo to Paragon SC on this one.

Labels: anecdotal evidence, blog links, movie references, Pac-10 business, regular old crackers, the new era

So I've moved to Tallahassee with some money in the bank but no job. The move to the smaller market has proved tougher than originally thought and thusly I have a lot of free time on my hands with zero friends so far. If you know anyone with construction management/real estate development connections in Tallahassee, by all means provide. On a whim I vowed to stay completely sober until I find work, leaving me with a heap of original thought and motivation. With not much else going on, I've turned to my OCD tendencies to help me through this quiet time. My activities have included:

• Keeping an immaculate home
• Watching every movie in my collection (I'm currently on #101 out of 125)
• Reading all of the comments on the infamous EDSBS post #1406 (had to stop at 400 for fear of insanity)
• Exercise *gasp!*
• Perusing message boards and the blogosphere to exhaustive lengths

I've been reading blogs that I usually don't frequent due to 1) a lack of time and 2) they're written at a level that, honestly, I can't handle everyday. MGoBlog, Dawg Sports, and Sunday Morning Quarterback are just three of several websites that lower my literary self-esteem to a level of inadequacy that makes undersized, bullied youths become cops. (I wonder if the local PD is hiring?) Here are three things that need your attention as fans of college football and the internet:

1. T. Kyle King's recent piece on DawgSports regarding the ongoing struggle with/against the media Death Star, espn.
2. On top of doing a preview page for every team in D-1, SMQ is now in the midst of thoroughly breaking down each BCS conference and Pac-10 Week should be right around the corner.
3. MGoBlog hosts the BlogPoll each season, which is like the AP but us sophisticated blogger types vote instead of the mainstream media folk. I've contacted the site about making tHOH eligible to vote but have heard no response so far. Preseason ballots should come out sometime in the next month and yes, I'll be totally biased for the Devils.

Not to leave without anything ASU-related, here's few nugs to keep you sedated for at least part of the next 36 days:

* The Sun Devils were picked to finish fourth in the Pac-10 preseason media poll, but who cares about the opinions and prognostications of writers before the season starts?

* Former ASU fullback Tex Wright, not to be confused with Randall "Tex" Cobb of Raising Arizona fame, is alive, well, and author of one of the all-time great ASU finishes that I'd never heard of before this week.

Nope, not him.

* As poster "ENCINITASjon" of Devils Digest put it, here's "one of the dumbest articles you'll ever read." It's so bad it may get its own post here in a couple of days.

* Former Sun Devil basketballer and Sigma Nu douchebag Ron DuBois landed a job as an assistant coach with the NBA's Memphis Grizzlies. See Tucson, we do stuff in the NBA too.

* I started my own poll at Devils Digest since I don't know how to do it here. It asked readers to vote for how long it would take for the 35-44-1 all-time record vs. UA to get evened up. The vast majority of voters chose 11-15 years, but unfortunately some folks from down south got involved and it turned into an argument about semantics and the interpretation of the written word, then forever banished to the rarely visited smack board.

* Dennis Erickson inked his fourth signee of the 2008 recruiting class, local offensive lineman Patrick Jamison, who was suited by Erickson since his last name is a fantastic whiskey. Jamison also received scholarship offers from UCLA, Tennessee, Oregon State, Boise State, UNLV, and Arizona.

Thanks to google image search, I was also reminded that "Jameson" is also the last name of a prominent porn star.

* Apparrently KTAR 620 was late to Pac-10 media day since they only have audio of Jim Harbaugh, Pete Carroll, and Karl Dorrell available on their website. Admittedly I was also late to link up to it, that's why I was looking. As soon as I can find a complete archived audio file of the proceedings I'll pick apart everything Dennis Erickson says and take a few pokes at Mike Stoops.

Labels: anecdotal evidence, ASU alumni, blog links, dirty icky recruiting, hatred for the 4-letter network, hoops, movie references, regular old crackers, rivalry rants, surrounded by morons, UA morons

Through a lot of linking I found a roundtable discussion brought forth by Trev Alberts of FireMarkMay.com that, while a month old, could use my attention. I'm not yet a blogpoll member but I aspire to be, so here goes...

Your Home Field Advantage

Give the more zealous portion of your fanbase a religion. What's this cult following? Feel free to give the splitters a derogatory nickname.

We all bow to Frank Kush, the patron saint of Sun Devil football who was professionally crucified by those whom he had come to enlighten- a camp catalyzed by a false idol, none other than a flag-waving kicker. (as everyone knows, kickers are NOT football players) The congregation became disillusioned and dissolved in the following years by carpetbaggers such as Rodgers and Cooper, then demoralized by Marmie the incompetent. Savior Jake Plummer had come to restore joy to the desert, but by that time the barbarians of professional sport had fully infiltrated the holy land and many followers had converted to the dark side. Our sect became divided in recent years, falling into the camps of lovers and haters and split by one man's papacy, Dirk Koetter. Koetter was forced out after piss-poor performance and record-setting bad decisions, which allowed for the new savior to enter our church, one Dennis Erickson. In a throwback to the old testament of Kush, Erickson preaches ideas once thought to be antiquated, like a running game and a physical defense. Lovers and haters are reunited and hope is restored in Sun Devil Land as we wander through the desert, although not-so-aimlessly anymore.

If this piece doesn't get me into hell for violation of the 1st Commandment, nothing will.

Your biggest rival is in town, and College Gameday is coming....to your citaaaaaaay... Create a blatant corporate sellout promotion to appeal to the mass unwashed.

In the spirit of espn being onsite, Pat Tillman's death will be exploited to the grandest extent. Gold-colored Army Ranger berets will be administered to the first 50,000 attendees, the marching band does a patriotic 4th of July-style set at halftime, and there is a missing man flyover to accompany the fireworks after each Sun Devil score.

Add one local delicacy to your stadium's concessions. Post-tax pricing is optional.

Other than alcohol? For four bucks apiece, Filiberto's (or whatever it's called now) offers burritos made to order. The tortilla throwing tradition takes on a whole new level when players and cheerleaders start slipping on fresh-made guacamole, but Michael Crow puts the kibash on the whole thing after a male cheerleader dies when a chorizo and egg burrito funnels through a megaphone and asphyxiates him. Jan had spirit, yes he did...

With an unlimited AD budget, add or subtract one thing to your school's gameday experience that has nothing to do with football.

Lot 59 is replaced with sod, shade trees, and plumbing facilities because quite frankly we are light years behind the Southeastern schools when it comes to tailgating, mostly because spending all day on shadeless blacktop in 110+ degree heat is no one's good time. For extra income the former parking lot is a nine-hole, par-three golf course during the week and a 10-story parking megastructure is erected for regular student parking where the bullshit Alpha Drive fraternity houses once sat.(hollaback old school Adelphi row!) We can put it right next to the football team's brand spankin' new indoor practice facility.

Just imagine a grove of oaks 160 yards that way.

General NCAA questions

Coin a hilariously unrealistic stereotype that you would like to "make stick" for this upcoming season.

The Stoops regime is fired from Tucson and they moochingly move back into brother Bob's McMansion basement in Norman, all while trying to raise a young daughter/sissyboy. Think My Two Dads but with three guys, two of whom are gay. And a lot of strained-faced yelling.

Redesign your conference or independent schedule with reckless abandon. Be prepared to include compensation for jilted schools and conferences in your explanation.

Jeez this thing is getting long. The Pac-10 finally got it right with the full round-robin schedule, no need for me to go fucking with it. As for the OOC slate, I'd like to see the Sun Devils take on more teams in the northeast and upper midwest. ASU is so popular with non-athlete students that it offers virtual orientation in Philly, Chicago, and Seattle, and this desire to escape the miserable fucking cold of those God-forsaken places ought to be exploited for recruiting purposes. Imagine getting on a plane in lake effect snow-ridden Buffalo in February and landing in Tempe where it's 75 and sunny for an official visit, and now envision a behemoth 18 year-old signing on the dotted line.

Following up on your new realignment, blow up the BCS and devise a national playoff system, money grabs and missed exams be damned. Using your new fantasy conferences is optional.

The existing bowl games get used on a rotating basis as neutral sites for a 16-team playoff, and the ones that aren't selected for the bracket games can be held as exhibitions, like a football NIT. More traditional bowls like the Rose and Fiesta are used for the latter rounds and they rotate much like the BCS does now. I'd like to suggest that the current conferences be blown up and reorganized into equally sized divisions (while eliminting those bullshit conference championship games) for the purpose of selecting some of the participants in this proposed playoff, but that's just crazy talk.

Elect one public figure to replace NCAA president Myles Brand. Anyone with proper name recognition is eligible.

Charles Fucking Barkley, and I don't think I need to explain myself. Even though he's a basketball player, being from Alabama he should intuitively understand the importance of college football.

Be sure to check out others' responses in the comments section of FireMarkMay's original post.

Labels: anecdotal evidence, blog links, Dirk's a horse's ass, dirty icky recruiting, Greatest Fark Evah, movie references, Pac-10 business, QnA, tailgating, UA morons

John Mackovic, professor emeritus.

Former University of Arizona head football coach John Mackovic will be leading a team of college football players to represent these United States in the 2007 American Football World Cup. Players will be taken from Divisions I, II, and III, including UA quarterback Adam Austin.

The roster is full of names you've never heard from schools you haven't heard of including Hobart, Morningside, and Virginia Tech. (too soon? -ed.) In the offensive overview, the career highlight mentioned with Austin is that he "was a part-time starter for the Wildcats during his career, leading the team to a victory over Stanford last season." Stanford, wow. Congratulations Adam, you have something in common with 92% the Cardinal's opponents.

I'd like to think that I was creative enough to come up with something like this, but it's real. For that sort of creativity in a college football blog, check out the Hayley LaFontaine story at EDSBS. I did a double check just to make sure this isn't an Onion-style article, but if it is a ruse then the authors were thorough enough to create a Team USA website with pictures and everything. Fear not fellow Americans, as S. Korea was defeated 77-0 on Tuesday and Team USA advances to face Germany on Saturday. Austin didn't perform well enough to get his name in the paper, but Macko's probably saving him for the Germans and their stout D. Mmmmm, German stout. I'm off to Leon Pub.

For extra summer reading, Sun Devil Pat ranked ASU's bowl victories on Cactus Ranch. It's not much, but it's something to distract you from behemoth recruit Po'u Palelei not qualifying academically. Remember folks, no offseason news is good offseason news when Dennis Erickson is your coach.

Labels: anecdotal evidence, blog links, message board nonsense, UA morons

Labels: ASU alumni, blog links, regular old crackers, rivalry rants, UA morons

So here we are, the nitty gritty of the finest embarrassments ASU has to offer. Like the hippie olympics, it really doesn't matter who wins since they're all losers. For good measure, let's take roll one last time:

Honorable Mention: Courtney Simpson and Eddie House
#11: Courtney Jackson
#10: Bryson Krueger
#9: Ryan Kealy
#8: Connor Banks
#7: JR Redmond
#6: Hakim Hill
#5: Barry Bonds
#4: UAC student section (basketball, 1984-1988)

And without further adieu, the top criminals in the history of Arizona State University.

Honorable mention part III: the military industrial complex, 2004-present. They murdered Pat Tillman and lied to cover it up. Not much to say since more facts come to light each day. Is a government worth preserving when it lies to it's people?

Somewhat ironic thet they're seen here together.

#3: Mitchell "Fright Night" Freedman, football, 1994-1998. First, watch this. That's how he played all the time. Mean, crazy, and angry. Unfortunately that's also how he lived his life. Freedman is the only player on this list that gets his nickname on the subject line because it fits him so well, as Orson from EDSBS will attest. He once hit a BYU player so hard that both Freedman and the Mormon went to the hosptal after the game, and I have been told by those in attendance that he was screaming while running towards the victim. Where to begin? Well, how about this snippet from the AZ Republic:

Mitchell Dehaven Freedman, 30, a safety who earned the nickname "Fright Night" because of the ferocity of his tackles, was found guilty of 15 counts, including five counts of sexual assault, four counts of sexual abuse, kidnapping, aggravated assault and armed robbery. He could face more than 100 years in prison for the sexual assault charges alone.

And then he still faces trial on two other rape cases, one from 2003 and one that allegedly took place in 1992, when Freedman was 16.

Yikes. What's even scarier is that he wasn't even tried for the rapes that happened when he was a minor "because he was already going away for so long." I...I don't really know what else to say here. It's hard to imagine but his prison sentence may be longer than Loren Wade's after all is said and done.

#2 Stevin Smith, Basketball, 1991-1994. You knew it was coming, and why shouldn't it top the list? Smith, nicknamed "Hedake" by his teammates, orchestrated a point shaving scandal in 1994 that espn will never let die. Isaac Burton shouldn't be getting off lightly either, but Smith seems to be the main guy everyone remembers, probably since he was such an effective player when he wasn't, you know, cheating.

The scandal started when Smith got into cahoots with the now famous campus bookie Benny Silman. Smith was allegedly in debt to him for over $10,000, and the two plotted to beat Oregon State by six or fewer points when the Devils were favored by 14 1/2. It worked and managed to line both of their pockets quite well. The exact same plan was employed two days later against Oregon State, and the Devils once again won by 6.

The final straw was the day of a game against Washington, after Smith and Silman began to gloat about their recent financial successes. The word spread quickly, and heavy betting ensued- so much so, in fact, that the line on the game changed 40 times that day and Vegas oddsmaker Roxy Roxborough pulled the game from the betting board, the first time he had done so in his 15-year career. The FBI was notified, but the investigations didn't take place until 1997, enough time for Smith, Burton, and then head coach Bill Frieder to leave the scene of the crime. The fallout landed squarely on those left to continue ASU men's basketball.

Hedake (misspelled on purpose to fit on the vanity plate of his car) did 10 months in federal prison, but the stink of the scandal still hasn't completely lifted from ASU. His 10 months isn't so bad considering Silman got four years, but Silman also got a tv-movie deal out of it. Whenever ASU basketball is mentioned, point-shaving is typically associated with it. I suppose that's better than "sucks," but still defaming. It is the black eye that will never heal.

#1: Loren Wade, football, 2002-2004. The official site has removed his player bio from their archives, and rightfully so. What kind of a school do we have when players are murdering former teammates, outside of a club no less? The arguement started one night in Scottsdale and was reportedly about a girl. As Brandon Falkner was pulling away, Wade fired a fatal shot into the driver's side window of his car. While this is sickening as a Sun Devil, the societal ills it brings to light are equally alarming. There are no winners here: the Falkner family is burdened with overwhelming grief, ASU has been sued, Koetter was blamed for a lack of control, and Wade will be imprisoned for life. A truly sad moment for anyone involved.

Labels: anecdotal evidence, ASU alumni, blog links, hatred for the 4-letter network, hoops, movie references, the offseason sucks, thug life

With the Loren Wade trial coming at the lowest of low points of college athletics offseason (what's a baseball?), I'll be ignoring the whole negative PR-fest with all of my might. The Arizona Republic will mention Arizona State University twice as many times as the tragically slain Brandon Faulkner, something the school definitely doesn't need given its sketchy record over the last decade or so.

What trial?

What ASU really needs is a Wag The Dog-style distraction of epic proportions to keep this thing buried in the back of the paper. I can't say I'm rooting for a terrorist attack or anything, even though it was effective when my fraternity got kicked off campus thanks to a drunk driver- not that you ever heard about it since it happened during the first week of September 2001.

In the spirit of black eyes for ASU, I've compiled a small list of scandals in the 85281. None of them are as bad as a player killing a former teammate, but it didn't take more than a single sitting to come up with #'s 2-11. We'll do a couple of them at a time, just so you Sun Devil diehards have something to read other than Wade's affiliation with ASU and Dirk Koetter's percieved lack of institutional control. Without further adieu...

Honorable mention: Courtney Simpson. Ex-ASU cheerleader goes porno in dashing style, making her professional debut in her ASU cheer uniform. No reason to beat this dead horse, especially since the M-Zone mentions her at least once a week.



#11: Courtney Jackson, football, 1996-1999. The scapegoat of the 1997 Rose Bowl, sure, but this tale isn't as well known as that debacle. Like the last minute breakdown against Ohio State, however, Jackson had accomplices. In the spring of 1998 a friend of mine, who we'll call Nate, came down with a case of the crabs. He got them from the supreme queen of jizz-jars of Sonora Hall, who claims to have gotten them from Jackson. You would have thought David Boston burned them all off the previous January, but oh no. Not a news story, sure, but still funny. Everyone needs another reason to hate Courtney Jackson. Disagree? Just check out this photo. That's ASU's national championship in Boston's hands.

#10: Bryson Krueger, men's basketball, 2004-2006. This is a lot lower on the list than it probably ought to be, but it stays at ten since absolutely no one gives a hoot about ASU hoops. The upcoming basketball season was looking bright with the firing of Rob Evans and a starting backcourt of Kevin Kruger and Bryson Krueger. Kevin transferred to UNLV and led them to the sweet sixteen, but Bryson's fate was not so sweet. He was arrested last March for possession of Ex, Coke, Zanex, and an unregistered .40-cal handgun. Again, this is a big deal for a hometown athlete who could be considered a standout on a divison-1 basketball team, but it's ASU basketball. In 2005-2006, the Devils could hardly be considered D-1.

The list continues this week with DUI's, theft, and other federal charges. Stay tuned!

Labels: anecdotal evidence, ASU alumni, blog links, hoops, movie references, the offseason sucks, thug life

Samantha Micelli and the Slim-Fast spokesman!

Based on the clothes and the non-revealing angle, I thought this photo was taken in the 1980's and felt guilty, like the kind of guilt one has when Dateline NBC comes busting through your door- not that I would know. Upon further review it seems that it was only taken 5 months ago, and then only the jealousy of Tommy Lasorda remained, something I never thought would ever happen. It seems that Alyssa Milano of Who's The Boss fame (and some stupid witch show, whatever) writes her own baseball blog. (HT: Scott) Call it gender bias, but I usually expect a female sports blog to be a few short-lived scribblings with phrases like "tee-hee" everywhere, but she's actually quite literate. A few quick things I noticd while perusing *touch* em all:

* She's a Dodger fan, so I can only assume that she shows up late for dates and leaves early.
* She offers female baseball fan insight without a single comment about anyone's butt.
* She thinks 2001 World Series hero Luis Gonzalez throws like a girl. Hhhhhooootttttt.

My other expectation of the site was tht it was all a front to push some cleavage-laden Hollywood vehicle, but it's only marketing the line of baseball apparrel Alyssa designed for women. Ok, minus one for corporate ties, but it's obvious that she's a true fan and for this welcome her to the blogosphere. Check her out, as long as you're not a SF Giants fan.

Labels: blog links, movie references, other sports

First he steals content, now he's attacking blog sites for no apparent reason. While this is probably exactly what he wants to happen, the news must be spread: Colin Cowherd is a douchebag.

As reported by EDSBS, the aforementioned enema-facilitator today launched a nuclear attack on thebiglead.com, directing listeners to the site- not for witty, original content mind you- but solely for the purpose of crashing their server, knowing full well that most bloggers have extremely low bandwidth due to it's free nature.

Deadspin is also all over this like Mike Stoops on a pitcher of rage-ahol, and they have even gone so far as to challenge Sir Douchie to pull such a stunt on their anti-espn banner waving site with the following statement:

Oh, and go ahead and try that shit with us. We dare you.

Huzzah! This isn't the first time the blogosphere has had to unite against CC, either. Just 53 weeks ago the M Zone was mocking the NFL Draft Combine's Wonderlic test by coming up with some questions for the modern athlete (re: spoiled thug). It's brilliant stuff, really, which can be found here but you probably already heard it on Cowherd's espn radio show since he read eight of Benny & Yost's fake questions on-air without any mention of the actual authors. After responding professionally with several letters to the show, Cowherd sent the following response via email:

WE WERE SENT IT....WE HAD NO IDEA..BUT THE INCESSANT WHINING...MEANS I WON'T GIVE YOU CREDIT NOW..GET OVER IT.

CC

Ass. The M Zone can tell the story much better than I can, so you can read their version of what happened, followed by their one-year anniversary recap. Deadspin has their version of the encounter as well, which is just as juicy and more attacking than defensive. (as it probably ought to be)

Dirk's gone now, so someone has to fill in as the horse's ass.***

It should be noted that Cowherd gave proper credit to the original authors five days later, but a rift has been growing between traditional media members and we underwear-laden, couch-potato amateurs for some time now. Some folks like their sports news straight up and to the point. Some like it overproduced with dorks in suits yelling things like booya! throughout the stories about Notre Dame, USC, and the NBA. The rest of us like our news full of sarcasm, bias, and four letter words. Fuck. Yeah, I said it. We patronize blogs because we can't stand the mainstream media any longer. Mass-media outlet schtick has grown tiresome so we have gone elsewhere, and the big boys resent it. We want coverage of topics in which we are interested; we don't think it's important just because they do, like the Yankees/Red Sox rivalry.

Support your local blog. Ignore Cowherd and all things espn, or else you support terrorism. Ok, that's not entirely true. But mostly true. The only way things will ever really change is if we become more selective as an audience. Watch the games, sure, but ignore their coverage of them. We bloggers are better than they are anyway. Shit.

EDIT: I'd also like to point out that I'm totally not worried about Cowherd attacking this site for it's opinion since 1) only four people read it and 2) Blogger fucks up all the time anyway, so how would it be any sifferent.

***- this very website is the 7th result listed upon a google image search of "horse's ass." I am slowly starting to rock.

Labels: blog links, Dirk's a horse's ass, hatred for the 4-letter network, surrounded by morons

Greatest fark Evahhh!!!!!

Labels: anecdotal evidence, blog links, Greatest Fark Evah, message board nonsense, regular old crackers

Thank freaking God. It ain't much, but this is all I have after 2+ hours of net surfing.

* The April 14th Spring Game will be held at Sun Devil Stadium at 7:30 pm. It's apparently a day game most years, and I guess he's trying- actually I don't really see the point. Hopefully some folks will make it out to Area 59 for some offseason tailgating, and they'll have plenty of time to get good and lubed for a game guaranteed to have no QB sacks.

* In a cyberspace lynching of Gary Barnett (not that he doesn't deserve it), SMQ makes sure to mention the four parts of ASU history that will never ever die. It isn't much, but seeing anything about ASU football in March is noteworthy.

* Speaking of which, Hakim Hill isn't going quietly into the night, muh'fucka. JD's son was arrested yet again in Scottsdale, even if the charges do sound a little trumped up. Brotha's just trying to get a ride home. If the Fulmer Cup gave alumni points, we Gun Devils would give Miami a run for their money.

* Jake Plummer appears to be retiring.

* Jon Hargis, a defensive line recruit out of high school powerhouse Mesa Mountain View, will be switched to offensive line as Coach Erickson feels that "He has a chance to be a good player."

Eh. I'm reminded of the part in Raw where Eddie Murphy makes an analogy regarding how great sex is if your woman holds out on you fr long stretches of time. I'm paraphrasing from memory here, but doing so fairly well if I say so.

If you're starving, and somebody throws you a cracker, you're going to say 'Goddamn, that the best cracker I ever had in my life! (licking fingers) Was that a Ritz?! That had to be a Ritz!'...But then one day you wake up and say, 'hey, I just got some regular old crackers.'

It looks like regular old crackers for quite some time. Help me NCAA tournament, you're my only hope.

Labels: ASU alumni, blog links, movie references, regular old crackers, the new era, thug life

There is always a lull in Tempe after a game against UofA, so here's a few links to keep you entertained while your boss is in that meeting.

* Insomniac's Lounge has it's nominees for the proposed Cheerleader Hall Of Fame. Why yes, of course Courtney Simpson is in it.

* My boy Newspaper Hack over at Journorock is so desperate for college football content that he has engulfed himself in The College Football Data Warehouse looking for odd South Carolina or Alabama scores. Help the poor bastard out and leave anything you can think of regarding ASU in his comments section. The one that pops out is 19-0, but a little research never hurt anyone.
Hello? Is there anybody there?

* EDSBS is reporting a new espn college football show in the style of Baseball Tonight or NFL Live. Please espn, more analysis and less Lou Holtz. I have this horrible feeing that awfulness will surround this steaming pile of sob stories and puff pieces, while Trev Alberts will mock us all from afar.

* This guy is really, really sad. A "gent" calling himself B_Dog (the handle screams intelligence, no?) has taken a stand against ASU for having their player profile pictures depict the Sun Devil student athletes in jackets and neckties. Be sure to read all of the comments and weep for the future of Tucson. Further proof that it's not just me, UA fans really are douchebags.
The double-windsor: sick, misrepresentative, and just plain wrong.

* Finally, Gaddabout at Wired Devils has written a story defending Phil Snow, Bruce Snyder, and the supposed "prevent D" that doomed ASU in the 1997 Rose Bowl. If you've been hating them since 1/1/97 like I have, it's a tough read but valid points are made. To my friend Patrick, if you can hear me, don't read the article-your head may explode.
Damn you David Boston. Damn you all to hell.

Labels: blog links, hatred for the 4-letter network, regular old crackers, UA morons

Since the last marketing effort blew up in everyone's faces, who not do something that will once again have the entire blogosphere giggling? Apparently the ASU athletic department is selling Sun Devil football door to door now, as today EDSBS posted a picture of the new ASU football door hanger. Orson and Stranko somehow broke this story without anyone at ASU seeing or hearing about it, and I'm still in disbelief at what I saw.

In an effort to beat the dead horse that is the Sun Devil Laws, ordinance #139 states that "it's time for the next level." Thank freaking God, because seven and something records are soooooo last year. The hanger has a picture of Coach E, National Championship ring prominently displayed, with the upper deck of Sun Devil Stadium (next level eh! Get it?) in the background pasted above a smattering of data regarding the upcoming season's home slate and the corresponding sales information. Not to be outdone by the whores on Van Buren, the back side features three "valuable coupons" including (are you ready for this?) buy one get one free tickets for baseball, men's basketball, and, as if that weren't enough, $2 softball tickets. Woo fucking hoo. You can’t give ASU men’s basketball tickets away, not even to orphans with diseases. They have enough problems already.

Please please God, let these hangers go no further than the doorknobs of the dorm rooms. This seems like an extraordinary waste of resources after the "Laws" billboards netted an average of almost 6,600 fewer butts per game. Is Lisa Love really planning on putting one of these on the door of each of the million plus households in the greater Phoenix metropolitan area? I realize that the drop in attendance can be attributed to a better home schedule in 2005 that included the benefit of hosting the rivalry game and I appreciate that the athletic department is trying to get the community involved in Sun Devil athletics, but I prefer a more organic, holistic approach. My suggestion? Just win, baby. Hiring Coach Erickson was a good step in that direction.

Here is a link to a Devils Digest thread that will have you as giddy as I am about the upcoming season. It seems that this Carter fellow has a class or two with some ASU football players and has been asking them about the coaching transition, noting the differences between Koetter and Erickson. Here’s a dandy of a quote:

Lastly I asked what do they expect for training:

This was my favorite... They said " Man, we've already been training harder than Koetter ever had us train, he has us in the gym EVERY day!! I'm lifting weights like I've never lifted before!"

Hells yeah.

Labels: blog links, I'm witty, message board nonsense, surrounded by morons, the new era