The House Of Heat

Ow, somethin' bit me!

This will be a recurring post as an easy to digest way of looking at the Sun Devils' health, and it'll be a lot easier now that Dirk Koetter and his no-injury-info-policy are in Jax-Vegas. Listed in order of importance:

Luis Vazquez, DE: High ankle sprain, out 2-4 weeks.
Troy Nolan, S: Shoulder strain, currently practicing (non-contact).
Saia Falahola, backup DT: partial triceps tear, out for the first four games.
Tranell Morant, backup DL: Knee (cartilege tear), out 2 months.
Eric Tanner, backup DL: bruised knee bone, out for one week.
Omar Bolden, CB: sprained ankle, day to day.
Jeremy Payton, S/CB: sprained ankle, day to day.
Brandon Smith, WR: sprained ankle, day to day.

Bolden, Smith, and Payton are already taking limited reps at practice, even though they're not at 100%. Rudy Burgess also fell victim to a sprained ankle but is back practcing at full speed. A huge gasp swept over Camp Tontozona when the highly-touted Bolden went down, but luckily it was a minor injury. Smith's injury was almost inconsequential because of the developing depth at wide receiver and the emergence of true freshman and rising superstar Kerry Taylor, who Coach Erickson said "will definitely play and may start."

Nolan practing this week is a huge surprise after a minimum prognosis of a two-week absence. Nolan was one of the stars of spring practice and caused Jeremy Payton to switch to corner, even though he'll probably be backing up both positions once the season begins. He's wearing a non-contact jersey for now, but should probably let it heal a bit more before really getting after it.

The injuries to Falahola, Morant, and Tanner would be low on the threat level pole if only one occurred at a time, but all three together plus the loss of projected starter Vasquez really hurts an already thin defensive line. Luis Vasquez was looking like he was going to be an anchor at defensive end opposite Dexter Davis, so hopefully he won't miss more than a game or two. Falahola has played well since switching over from the offense and looked like he was ready to contribute with the 2nd stringers, so his loss is probably the biggest ofthe three. Morant and Tanner have yet to show their value, but D-line is one place ASU can't afford to lose what little depth exists.

It's very disheartening to see so many of these injuries occurring on the defensive side of the ball where there is little room for error, even with everyone healthy. Coach E noted that this is the most ankle sprains he's seen in such a short period of time in his career, but would not aknowledge the Camp T turf as the cause, even though Rudy Carpenter pointed out that there are holes-a-plenty on the field- and he's not referring to the defense, either.

Someone who is referring to the defense is Coordinator Craig Bray, who let his guys have it in Scott Bordow's Friday column in the EVT. A few quotes from Bray, first on last year's much improved Devil D:

“I saw a lack of overall athleticism and speed, especially in the front seven. I was disappointed. As you visualize a place like this you would assume the one thing you can recruit is speed because speed likes warm weather and we get plenty of warm weather. So I was disappointed in that.”

Here's what I hear: Y'all suck, and you're slow. The fact that you won seven games with this bunch is pushing miracle status. And it's fucking hot out here.

On the D-line:

“We’re not big and we’re not quick. Probably the only legitimate guy up front where you could say he’s a Pac-10 guy is (tackle Michael) Marquardt.”

Davis is too small, Smith is too slow, and Vasquez still plays like a JuCo. The rest are too young.

On the #2 corner spot:

“We need a guy like Chris Baloney to finally say, 'Hey, I want to be the guy.’ That’s something he hasn’t done. I don’t know if he’s going to.”

Not solely an attack on Baloney. It sounds like it speaks to the level of hunger and desire of the position group as a whole, something that may be related to the previous coaching staff. Funny that CB coach Al Simmons was retained from Koetter's staff. Hmmm.

And finally on how long it will take for ASU's defense to improve:

“I think we’re a couple of recruiting classes away.”

This basically says to me that these guys suck and that they're not physically up to the challenge presented by USC and the other big boys of the Pac-10, but maybe they'll get lucky. It's also an indictment of Koetter's offense-heavy recruiting and the toll that Brent Guy took on the Sun Devil defense, although the new staff has been fairly polite when it comes to that sort of thing. Some would argue that he did it to motivate his guys before the Saturday scrimmage- which the defense dominated, oh by the way.

Coach Bray ain't takin' no shit from nobody.

Labels: blog links, injuries, Rudy Fucking Burgess, Shut up Carp, the new era

Due to extreme boredom and sobriety, here's a not-so-quick prognostication of the upcoming season. Keep in mind that 1) I'm not an expert 2) I didn't actually see a lot of games live last year, 3) I didn’t see anything at spring practice and 4) it's mid July. You’re probably wondering why you’re going to read this longwinded piece, but it’s because it’s the middle of the offseason and you’ll take any football-related coverage you can, you sick puppy. I've been reading my copy of the Phil Steele CFB Preview way too much and these are my thoughts considering the following huge questions that won't be answered until Camp Tontozona at the earliest:

Does Dennis Erickson still have the magic?
Will the players respond well to the new staff?
How bad will we miss Kyle Caldwell and Jordan Hill?
Which Rudy C. will show up?
Will Omar Bolden qualify academically?
Will anyone plug the gushing dike that is the #2 corner position?
Have the receivers learned how to run routes?
Can Josh Barrett live up to the hype?

Having said that, here goes.


The Offense

QB- The question will be which Rudy Carpenter shows up. On top of being rattled by Decisiongate, Rudy played through a sophomore slump with each hand broken at some point during the season. If he can regain his freshman moxie where he had a 20-2 touchdown-interception ratio and led the nation in passing efficiency then Tempe’s in for a treat. Erickson will have him working out of the shotgun formation, something he often used in high school and pleaded with Coach Koetter to try. The running backs are looking good and should take some of the pressure off of Carpenter. Should he go down with injury, backup Danny Sullivan played well in the spring game and matured physically in the offseason adding 30 pounds. It has been said that Erickson’s playbook is similar to Koetter’s in many regards but that the plays have different names, something that may help to speed up the learning curve for both. Samson Szakacsy and Chasen Stangel are both VHT’s that should have at least a year to learn.

WR- The receiving corps last year was young and it showed as the unit created a lot of the blame put on Rudy Carpenter through bad route running and dropped balls. Rudy C’s production spiraled downward in 2006 after losing Derek Hagan, Matt Miller, and Moey Mutz to graduation, Terry Richardson and Jamaal Lewis to stupidity, and Rudy Burgess to injury. Burgess should be reliable and productive now that he’s back to receiving full-time but at least one of the young receivers needs to step it up. Smith, Jones, and Kimbrough have all shown flashes of brilliance but have lacked the consistency required to earn a starting spot. Chris McGaha has quietly worked his way up the depth chart through consistent play but may get lost in the fold if Brandon Smith or Kyle Williams lives up to their hype. The two have been compared to Derek Hagan and Shaun McDonald, respectively, but neither have done much in actual games so far. My nod for the starting three would be Burgess, Smith and McGaha.




RB- Ryan Torain has a lot of JR Redmond in him and he fits the mold of other successful Erickson RB’s like Steven Jackson and Ken Simonton, big guys with cutting ability that can catch the ball well out of the backfield. Torain’s gaining a lot of praise this offseason including making scout.com’s All-American 1st team, so living up to the hype is as critical as staying healthy. There’s plenty of talent waiting in the wings in the somewhat forgotten Keegan Herring, who has better breakaway speed and cutting ability than Torain but lacks the physicality to consistently run up the middle. Dmitri Nance is small in size but has a knack for picking up the tough short yards and always manages to fall forward. Nance was highly decorated but slowly recruited in Texas high school football and he may be playing with something to prove. Many are excited to see what he can do if given consistent carries but, barring injuries, that probably won’t happen until at least next year.



TE/H-back- Losing Zach Miller to the NFL was huge but not all hope is lost. Older brother Brent is back for a senior season and was solid as a blocker while consistent as a receiver. There isn’t much experience behind him but there is unproven talent. Florida transfer Dane Guthrie has yet to make an impact, Andrew Pettes was the other top TE signed with Zach Miller but has done next to nothing, and Jovon Williams and Lance Evbuomwan are young but physically gifted. Someone in addition to Brent Miller will need to earn their keep as Dennis Erickson likes to use a two-TE set on a regular basis.
Lil' Brent scores the game winner at UW.

OL- Zach Krula’s reception of a 6th year of eligibility is huge and should offset the loss of team leader and three-year starter Andrew Carnahan. Krula was a road-grading tackle that was a big part of the early season success in 2005 against Temple, LSU, and Northwestern but he hasn’t played since due to a broken ankle. Big Zach lines up next to five other guys that have more than seven starts apiece thanks to a host of injuries over the last few years, something that can hopefully be remedied through a new training staff. Seniors Mike Pollak an Brandon Rodd are the anchors at center and left tackle, while Julius Orieukwu, Robert Gustavis, and Paul Fanaika have all filled in well. Run blocking should be a strength this year and sack statistics should go down in the new shotgun formation. In addition to Carnahan, the unit lost Leo Talovou to personal reasons, Stephen Berg to graduation, and Saia Falahola to the defensive line. The top seven guys are very good but if the injury bug strikes as hard as it has in the past the offense could be in big trouble. Backups with game experience include Richard Tuitu’u, Thomas Altieri, Shawn Lauvao.

Defense, Special Teams, and a schedule forecast will make up parts II and III. See you next week, you poor depraved soul.

Labels: Rudy Fucking Burgess, the new era

The list continues today with the top ten scandals not nearly as bad as the Brandon Faulkner tragedy/Loren Wade embarrassment. Here's what we have so far:

Honorable mention: Courtney Simpson & Eddie House
#11: Courtney Jackson
#10: Bryson Krueger
#9: Ryan Kealy
#8: Connor Banks

...and so on. We're sticking with the gridiron once again today since I can't seem to be able to dig up any dirt on Grace Park or Paul Casey. Away we go!

#7: JR Redmond, football, 1995-1999. I actualy heard this story two days before it broke from a good friend that worked at Sun Devil Stadium. It's a weird one, so stick with me. It was announced on a Friday that Redmond wouldn't play in the following day's matchup against the Oregon Ducks, a game that had serious implications on the Pac-10 race. Redmond's girlfriend worked for the University and, as most relationships go, bought her boyfriend presents, did his laundry, etc. Redmond's draft stock rose throughout his career and he was projcted to go in the late first/early second round of the upcoming NFL Draft.

The girlfriend was well aware of this and threatened to report all of the girlfriendly things she had done (and kept reciepts for) to the NCAA unless Redmond married her without a pre-nuptial agreement. A university employee is prohibited by the NCAA from giving gifts to student-athletes, and the bitch wanted to be legally tied to the millions Redmond was projected to make in the NFL.

The not-so-happy couple went to Las Vegas during the bye week, got a shotgun wedding, and returned to Tempe with dollar signs in her eyes. Redmond finally broke down and told Coach Snyder the gory details, so Snyder suspended him a game just for good measure and he reported everything that happened to the NCAA himself. The wedding was anulled and to my knowledge the bitch didn't get a cent after Redmond went pro. Redmond wasn't able to shake the stink of the scandal by draft day and he eventualy went to the New England Patriots in the third round, where he won a world championship and was an integral part of the game-winning drives of both Super Bowl XXXVI and the "snow bowl" AFC Championship that preceeded it.

This is so high on the list because JR Redmond is one of my all-time favorite Sun Devils and an absolute badass.

#6: Hakim Hill, football, 2001-2003. In a football-serious college town like Iowa City, it's surprising when the home school doesn't recruit a talented, decorated, and successful local athlete but hey, it takes a special person to get banned from a country. Hill was recruited by Dirk Koetter, most likely due to alumni pressure since his father happens to be ASU legend JD Hill. Hill's recruitment was altered due to rape charges he picked up in high school, but that's only the beginning, as his rap sheet is longer than anyone else on this list. Koetter kicked him off the team for punching teammate Matt Miller following a loss to Arizona. A lot of people wanted to punch Miller in the face after dropping a pass on the goal line that sealed the loss, but people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones as Hill himself fumbled on the goal line that awful, awful day, not that I'm bitter or anything.

Hill's problems include multiple DUI's, stealing paintball equipment, bribing cops, fighting cops, the aforementioned charge of raping a 15 year-old in a classroom, along with some drunk and disorderly conduct. He has been booted off the team at both ASU and Northern Iowa, plus Toronto and Saskatchewan of the CFL. Add to that, he has tarnished the image of one of ASU's all-time greats. He was part of one of ASU's deepest backfields since 1996, including the foursome of Hakim Hill, Randy Hill, Cornell Canidate, and- you guessed it- Loren Wade. A year later, those four were arrested, injured, injured, and arrested, so Rudy Burgess converted from WR to fill the void and asserted his badassery at running back.

Labels: anecdotal evidence, ASU alumni, drugs, rivalry rants, Rudy Fucking Burgess, the offseason sucks, thug life

This does not look like a satisfied coach.

Labels: Rudy Fucking Burgess, Shut up Carp, the new era, we're sorry Sam Keller

After a whiny email from a good friend (re: loyal reader) I realized that I should probably mention something about spring practices and how apparently awesome they have been. There has actually been a lot to read during spring practices, so much so that it’s been hard finding time to write about it. A quick summary, if you will:

* Practices have been fast-paced, hard hitting, and the players are actually enjoying them. They have been so hard hitting, in fact, that several players have missed practice time due to concussions and headaches.

* Rudy Fucking Burgess had his first practice yesterday [Monday, actually -ed.] after missing the first week of spring ball due to lingering problems with a high-ankle sprain he suffered late last year (stupid defense). Rudy Carpenter said he looked good and that he will definitely be an asset because of his wealth of game experience.

RFB, straight pimpin'.

* It looks like the running game will be the best it’s been since the days of JR Redmond. Ryan Torain will be just as good as he was last season and should contend for 1st team Pac-10 honors. Keegan Herring has missed some practices due to injury but Dmitri Nance has been doing a great job in his absence. Coach E thinks Nance will see plenty of playing time because of his ability to catch the ball out of the backfield.

* Zach Krula is back on the offensive line after missing the majority of the last two seasons with a broken ankle. He is supposedly knocking people around and should be the best Hell Hog this year.

* Rudy Carpenter played most of last year with broken hands. And here I thought he just sucked.

* Coach Erickson likes the talent of the receivers but sees that they are inexperienced and need coaching. He thinks that Brandon Smith could be as good as current Cincinnati Bengal Chad Johnson was when DE coached him at Oregon State- if he puts the work in. Smith is 6’3” and runs a 4.3 40-yard dash. True sophomore WR Kyle Williams has been burning people in practice, including a 70-yard TD off of a short pass in the first scrimmage.

* Morris Wooten, a JuCo signee from Glendale CC, looks like one of the top linebackers on the team and is being compared to former ASU/GCC badass Dale Robinson, who won Pac-10 co-defensive player of the year two seasons ago. Ryan McFoy is being moved from safety to linebacker. Coach E cited his speed, hard-hitting nature and pass-coverage skills as the reason. He’ll need to bulk up, but I think he has the talent to do it. One of the reasons for the move is that Troy Nolan has been knocking people on their asses at practice, and paired with senior Josh Barrett they should be a couple of good safeties. Pat Tillman look-alike Travis Goethel will be the third starting LB. Our defensive weaknesses, as usual, are at one corner and interior D-line.

* We might actually be able to kick this year!

* There is also this warm fuzzy article by espn's Ivan Maisel.

* Also of note, AnswertheScratch.com has renamed itself SUNDEVILGRIDIRON.COM. I think it's required to be spelled in caps, or Frank Kush will hunt me down and barbecue my carcass. It's mostly the same content, but there is a new 'fan story' and the intro video features Erickson and Kush together, salivating at the fact that ASU is going to run the ball and play physically. A novel idea, sure, but you get the sense while watching that Coach Kush really hated Koetter's schemes. That's ok though, most of us did anyway. Now if we could only get rid of those cursed 'Sun Devil Laws.'

Labels: ASU alumni, regular old crackers, Rudy Fucking Burgess, the new era

Burgess to miss start of spring ball for ASU
From Staff Reports
Arizona State receiver Rudy Burgess will miss at least the start of spring practice after undergoing arthroscopic surgery on his left ankle. The Sun Devils begin spring drills on Monday. Read the rest of the Trib's story here.

No offseason news is typically good offseason news but hey, at least he didn't get arrested. After last year's lack of playmaking by the wide receiving corps, RFB will surely be needed. The silver lining is that if there's one guy that could miss a big chunk of spring ball and still pick up the new offense, it's the people's MVP.

Labels: Rudy Fucking Burgess

The people's MVP, one Rudolph Donnavon Burgess, will be premanently moved back to slot receiver for his senior season by Dennis Erickson. Coach E points out in the article that it is best for Rudy and the team that he plays receiver, and that moving him around so much has limited his productivity. No shit, Sherlock. Let the NFL turn him into a corner when the time comes.

Last year's neck injury/concussion problems played a large factor, but removing Burgess from the WR corps was a disaster for the 2006 offense, who desperately needed someone downfield to catch the ball (not to mention run the proper route and get open, but I digress). Few probably remember the opener against NAU, when Burgess torched their secondary on the game's opening drive for 50 yards on two catches. He ended the game with 7 catches for 112 yards, and even though it was against NAU that kind of production could have helped a great deal against Oregon, USC, and the other 4 teams that whipped the snot out of us.

Enough despair about 2006, this is the time for a celebration! This news, combined with rule 3-2-5 E being repealed, is a call for a toast! Drinks on the house!

Labels: Rudy Fucking Burgess, the new era

On the road, no less.

Here's a link since I'm sure the picture will suck.

I'm not really all that interested in how the Devils play this Saturday against Washington State. The following week's matchup against UCLA doesn't really entice me all that much either. There is only one goal left for the 2006 ASU football season, and it has nothing to do with a bowl. Defeat UA in Tucson. Nothing more, nothing less.

In good news, Rudy Fucking Burgess may be moved back to wide receiver after injuries to Nate Kimbrough and Mike Jones occurred on Saturday, not to mention ANOTHER suspension of flanker Jamaal Lewis. All of a sudden ASU is thinner at WR than they are at corner. Please do not search the tHOH archives to see how stupid predictions of this unit were.

Labels: Dirk's a horse's ass, message board nonsense, rivalry rants, Rudy Fucking Burgess, thug life, UA morons

How does one go about beating a juggernaut like USC? Texas used a quarterback from another galaxy, but those seem to be in short supply these days. Where do we mere mortals go in this situation? If Scott Bordow were coach, the Devils would simply stay in Tempe because they don't have the talent to match up with the Trojans. Well fuck him, let's be rational about this thing.

Devils On Offense
The Trojans have a stout defense that most concur is better than the one they fielded in 2005. They run a 3-4 base with size and speed everywhere. The four linebackers means even fewer catches across the middle for Zach Miller and there will probably be a healthy dose of pressure on Rudy Carpenter, especially through the sieve created by right tackle Andrew Carnahan's torn ACL. That, of course, will require a ton of running from The Train, consecutive game 100-yard rusher Ryan Torain, especially on draw plays. By the way Dirk, a draw play isn't something you save until it's third and a country mile. Nothing says "I quit, let's just punt" like the draw play on third down and double digits. And another thing- play action is especially effective when it's a realistic running situation and you have a legitimate running threat- we have one of these now in Torain, a guy who gets the whole left-right-left-right (by that I mean walking) concept. No reason to start every series at 2nd and 10.

It's going to take some steady running, opportune passing, and a bit of trickeration to trip up USC. Pete Carroll and his staff have figured out Dirk's style (DK's 0 for life against the Men of Troy), so he can't just sit back and run the same set of plays. If the Devils pass on the first play of the game, you can bet on a long night at the bar for the Devil faithful. USC's defensive speed means it will be tough for Torain to make long yards by turning the corner on the outside, so it will have to be a ball controlling, grind it out, run between the tackles kind of day on offense. If Torain, Keegan Herring, and others can prove to be effective here, the passing game will open up in the deep middle where inexperienced sefeties will be roaming the secondary in single coverage, but that only leads to a whole set of problems for the Devils. Apparently ASU is having problems throwing, catching, route running, and getting their timing in synch. The passing game has been so disparaging that Koetter actually said in last Saturday's post game press conference that "completing a pass might be a good goal for us next week." Eek. Fun stat! Sun Devil Law # 41 states that there are 4,481 passing yards to Pasadena. At 33 yards per game, that will only take 136 games. Rose Bowl 2018, baby!

Carpenter and the receiving corps have apparently been meeting after practice working on their laundry list of problems, and hopefully this wil transfer to their on the field play. In an effort to feng-shui Carpenter's brain, Koetter made him watch a tape of all 64 of his completed passes of thirty yards or more. If this doesn't work, I say put him on the spot and throw him under the bus in public and on camera like some folks do.

Devils On Defense
Oh boy, here we go. Pete Carroll has already proved he isn't above trickeration against inferior teams by using a fake field goal against Washington, so ASU ought to be on the lookout for such horseplay. We were burned by a Reggie Bush TD pass on our last trip to the Coliseum (not to mention a rushing TD and a punt return for 6), so anything is fair game. With a freshman quarterback under center, the Devil D needs to show multiple looks, apply a bend but don't break philosophy, and blitz at opportune times. Blitzing from corner and safety could confuse young Booty and cause him to be erratic, or it could give him the opportunity to burn the inept ASU corners once they're stuck in single coverage. Chris McFoy is out (really wanted to see his little bro pop him just once really hard over the middle), Dewayne Jarrett is still questionable, and Steve Smith is looking doubtful for Saturday's matchup, but I'm still concerned at how ASU matches up at wideout. Remember that two years ago none of knew who Jarrett was and then he burned the Devils for 167 yards and two TD's. I haven't really watched the USC running backs enough to know how dangerous they can be, but I'm sure they're talented. The D-line and linebackers need to take this opportunity to make a statement that, despite current trends, this is NOT last year's 114th ranked defensive unit. Stuff the run and make the kid QB try to beat you.

Special Teams
Terry Richardson, Terry Richardson, Terry Richardson. He started last year's USC game off with a first quarter bang, we can only hope he can do it again.

X-Factors
With Rudy. Fucking. Burgess' status sill a question mark for Saturday( yes, he's always a factor), unexpected wrath of God-type interference could include but not be limited to rain (30% chance), USC's wide receiver health, USC's youth on offense, and the fact that USC feels the need to make a statement since many pollsters have now dropped them a few pegs. The Coliseum crowd may affect this team's fragile psyche, but then again it may be beyond repair before they even run out of the tunnel. Of course, the same was said last year before finishing 5-1, so all hope is not lost on the season.


Outlook
I'm hopeful, but not optimistic. The Devils might cover the 19.5 point spread, but I wouldn't bet on it.

Labels: Dirk's a horse's ass, movie references, Rudy Fucking Burgess, surrounded by morons

Suppose, if you will, that this funk curently contaminating ASU quarterback Rudy Carpenter isn't simply temporary and his 2005 performance in which he led the nation in passing efficiency was an abberition. Oh crap, that's really, really possible. What next for the ASU offense? Let's examine a few options.

* Start playing true frosh backup Danny Sullivan. Riiiight. In his few appearances he has a few turnovers. The kid handles the pigskin like a vegan with a side of beef. The ball won't give you cancer, Danny.

* Switch LB Mike Nixon over to QB. He hasn't really learned the defense, but what the hell? Koetter recruited him as a quarterback five years ago, and its not like you don't use your throwing arm in baseball. This quarterback was the Arizona player of the year out of Sunnyslope High School, and it's just like riding a bike, right? Speaking of baseball players...

* WR Mike Jones at QB. He's a centerfielder for the Sun Devil baseball team, and this morsel of information comes straight from his thesundevils.com player bio:

...versatile athlete who quarterbacked his team as a senior...threw for 1,997 yards and 17 touchdowns...also rushed for 684 yards and five more touchdowns...was the starting quarterback for the Texas High School All-Star game the summer after his senior year...

Sounds like a winner to me!

* Rudy. Fucking. Burgess. He threw a touchdown pass in Pac-10 play last year, which is more than Rudy Carpenter can say for himself this year. Plus, he's amazing. I say line him up under center and run the option, because at this point anything is better than what ASU has going on offense. Imagine, if you will, Burgess coming around the end with Ryan Torain flanking him, awaiting a possible pitch. Who do you cover if you're an outside linebacker? The Devils are deep enough at running back right now that they can even run the wishbone triple option, with the fake handoff up the middle. Sweeeeet. The key downfield threat in this old school Big 8 offensive attack is the tight end... I'd say ASU has that covered with Zach Miller. What's to stop us? Oh yeah, a weak O-line, a porous defense, etc.
Wishbone, motherfuckers.

Labels: Dirk's a horse's ass, I'm witty, other sports, Rudy Fucking Burgess, surrounded by morons

"That John Denver's full of shit."

Heading out for Denver on Friday, and I'm finally really stoked about it! It's been in the works for so long now it has seemed surreal that I am actually leaving in 38 hours. The girlfriend and I will arrive in the Mile High City just before noon and can be found at any LoDo watering hole shortly thereafter. Garrett and Pat will be getting in four hours later, and it will be a race to see who's drunker by the time we meet up. My money is on Pat and Garrett based on past experiences, but altitude and microbrews have proven to be tricky things. Joining this year's edition of Hurricane FUBAR is Kim from Florida, one of my girlfriends' college buddies. (Man, I love those redheads.)My friends are really bipolar when it comes to women; they're either loved or loathed. My prediction is that alcohol will prove its unifying properties once again, especially with Dan playing host. Speaking of predictions...

ASU Offense vs. Colorado Defense
Are you serious? Even without Jamaal Lewis and (possibly) R.F.B., the Sun Devil passing game will be as difficult to contain as Magneto in X-Men, and I don't think Coach Hawkins has one of those plastic cells ready for Rudy Carpenter just yet(I'm a total dork). Mike Jones and Nate Kimbrough proved their hyped abilities Saturday against Nevada (even if I couldn't see it), and Chris McGaha is showing why he shouldn't garner the "posession reciever" moniker. Zach Miller has been as steady as a locomotive and tailback screen passes have worked well each of the last two games with all of the backs, especially Ryan "the train" Torain. It has been refreshing to see a few roll-outs and bootlegs after five years of concrete-footed Andrew Walter and Sam Keller(miss ya buddy). I'm not reminiscing over Jeff "chickenlegs" Krohn by any stretch of the imagination, just saying it's nice to have that option in the playbook.

Colorado's run defense is for real, holding the likes of Colorado State and Montana State *gasp* to a combined 148 total yards. Even though both of these games were losses for the Buffs (tee-hee) they weren't blowouts and they certainly weren't shootouts with respective scores of 14-10 and 19-10. Run blocking hasn't exactly been ASU's specialty of late, and the strong defensive front led by Linebacker Thaddeus Washington may be a tall order. As Coach Koetter said in a Monday presser, "this is the most athletic and talented team we have faced so far." If the Hell Hogs can't push around inferior athletes, what's to happen when they face peers or worse yet superiors? The good news is that the pass protection has been excellent, and hopefully the Hogs can keep Carp's shirt nice and white throughout the game.

Colorado's Offense vs. ASU's Defense
Dirk Koetter's playbook is a bitch to learn, and Dan Hawkins' can't be much different if a team has played eight quarters and has only tallied 20 points. They're eventually going to snap out of it, but hopefully that won't happen until at least September 17. The Buffs' quarterback situation has taken over ASU's spot atop the most talked about QB situation chart as one has left the team, the top two have flip-flopped (no John Kerry joke per my girlfriend's request), and the third-stringer is the coach's kid. Bernard Jackson scored Colorado's only touchdown on Saturday on a bootleg scramble, but ASU has already faced two gritty mobile QB's in NAU's Jason Murietta and Jeff Rowe of Nevada. James Cox (hehe, Cox) is more of a pocket passer but hasn't exactly set the world on fire this season.

Colorado's success will be defined by their running game, but ASU has shown surprising improvement in their front seven. Kyle Caldwell is back on track "bending and breaking people" as Dirk Koetter is fond of saying, and there is a nine man rotation along the defensive line, with other standouts Jordan Hill, Mike Marquardt, and Dexter Davis. Tranell Morant saw his first live action since transferring from Florida, but from others' accounts looked unimpressive and rusty. Hopefully he can live up to his athletic potential, as everyone in maroon and gold is hoping for Loren Howard. Jeez, is that guy huge. His quad tear is healing well and he should be ready to go for Cal, but no one is expecting him to play this week.

ASU's linebackers will charge the gaps created by the d-line, and Derron "every" Ware should have another great day on defense, along with safeties Josh Barrett, Zach "don't call me 'cat'" Catanese, and Ryan "fuck Troy" McFoy. Hopefully the corners won't get too much of a test, even though Chris Baloney has two picks in two games. Linebacker Robert James has played himself back in to the lineup after dealing with personal issues during camp, and he looks improved from a 2005 season highlighted by his vicious hit on soon-to-be baby's daddy Matt Leinart. Former Dodger Mike Nixon is learning defensive schemes and has improved over his first two games, and youngsters Garrett Judah and Travis Goethel haven't looked terrible.

X-Factors
With Rudy. Fucking. Burgess. questionable for Saturday's tilt, the x-factor could be weather. It's expected to be a high of roughly 60 degrees on Saturday with winds up to 20 mph, something that could have an effect on a fair weather passing team like ASU. Hopefully it doesn't come down to kicking, because Colorado PK Mason Crosby is apparently the best in the nation. ASU's kickoff coverage has been far less than stellar thus far, so watch out for a big one to get broken, either by Colorado or ASU's Terry Richardson. There are an expected 7,000 ASU fans to be at Folsom Field on Saturday, and we plan on being loud and leaving 3-0. Final Score prediction: ASU 34, Colorado 17.

Labels: anecdotal evidence, ASU alumni, I'm witty, movie references, Rudy Fucking Burgess

ASU's lackluster Thursday night victory raised a hefty amount of questions and even answered a few. I'll address as many as I can think of.

Positives
The field and stadium looked great. A raging student section and midfield Sparky were the highlights, and it's great to have absolutely no affiliation with the Arizona Cardinals. While students hate the wristband policies implemented by the red-tape machine that is ASU, it looks a hell of a lot better without everyone crowding into the best sections and leaving the other ones looking sparse and sometimes empty. Bravo, kids. I'm only going on hearsay, but apparently the band sounds leagues better with their new director. The Richmond area alumni association consists of myself and no one else, so it proved too difficult to get sound on the game. Overall it looked like a great gameday atmosphere.

Derron Ware
That kid looked great, and a year of offseason workouts has been beneficial to his game. He led the team with eight tackles on the night, including three sacks and another for a loss. This Michigan State transfer should have switched to linebacker years ago, as he looked completely comfortable and competent on the field. I can't really say that about any of the other LB's, but more on that in a moment.

The Defensive Line
Considering two of the top athletes of this unit weren't in pads on Thursday, these guys looked outstanding. There was constant pressure in NAU's backfield all night which is something that couldn't be said last year, even in our cupcake opener against Temple when the Devil D recorded ZERO sacks against arguably the worst team in division 1-A. Kyle Caldwell is back to the promising form he showed in 2004 before injuries limited him to mere mortal status, and Dexter Davis has lived up to the talk that occurred during fall camp. Mike Marquardt demands attention at DT and is a rather quick fella for a 300 pounder, and his production means that Jordan Hill won't be double teamed on every down. It's been a long time since I haven't had anything bad to say regarding the defensive line.

Rudy. Fucking. Burgess.
What can't this guy do? Seriously?! His value at tailback has been proven, and he returns to his natural wide receiver position by leading the team with seven catches for 112 yards. The only other wide receiver to even catch a pass was Terry Richardson, who had only one. Rudy was also the gunner on special teams and he made one of the best hits of the evening with a high-flying early smack on the Lumberjack return man. It was totally worth the 15 yards to see that play. While he had a fumble, it was a helmet-on-ball contact from behind, and those are the toughest ones to hang on to. All is forgiven since Burgess is the fucking man, and I'd be willing to bet this was his last fumble on the season.

Ryan Torain
He's a load at 220 pounds, and he's not really the big bruising type. His rushing numbers aren't really what I was hoping to see from this JuCo transfer, but he had three big catches out of the backfield for 58 yards and a score. Way to pad Carp's stats, buddy. He could be a major contributor as an every-down back should Keegan Harring not be able to perform, but as several have already pointed out his pad level is a bit too high. If he lowers his shoulders just a tad, he probably increases the YPC number substantially and adds a touchdown to his statline.

Punting
No blocks, none returned fo big gains. Quick releases and good hang times. You wouldn't think these things are such precious commodities, but after performances in years past this was actually a grand accomplishment.

Other positive notes of interest include Herring's Reggie Bush-like TD scamper, the defense's attitude, Herring's bad-ass block that broke the defender's arm, and I saw my friend Pat on TV yelling at someone. It was a win for the Devils, and I have to keep telling myself that in the face of what looks like a probable 6-6 season due to some of the following reasons.

Negatives
Pass distribution
As mentioned above, the ASU wide receiving corps excluding R.F.B. totaled 1 catch for ten yards. Coach Koetter has been known in recent years for keeping the play selection very bland when facing weak OOC opponents, but I feel this reflects on Rudy Carpenter more than it does Dirk Koetter. Note I used the term "bland" and NOT "vanilla" as every message board honk and hack journalist has done over the last few days. The offense is most effective when the ball is distributed to many diferent weapons; let's hope Rudy C. isn't locking in on Burgess because most D-1 secondarys can read that and pick off the passes. Mike Jones has been a stud in practices and was one of the offensive MVP's in spring ball, but he was no where to be found on Thursday, even with Jamaal Lewis' suspension. I guess he looked so good because he ws practicing against ASU's corners. Speaking of which...

Cornerbacks
Ugh. How many years have we gone over this topic in Tempe? NAU's Alex Watson looked like Calvin Johnson going for 12 catches and 206 yards. I'm going to repeat this, as I feel it bears repeating. NAU's Alex Watson went for 12 catches and 206 yards. Watson isn't exactly a household name, he's not even on a division 1-A roster for Chrissakes. Chris Baloney's pick-for-six saved the day, but that was the only highlight for this bunch that wasn't one for NAU. Justin Tryon, whom was described by Koetter as being the most consistent corner in practices, was consistently BAD. Keno Walter-White proved he doesn't belong on a football field, as he left me wishing for the likes of Josh Golden. Yecch.

Offensive Line
They were, in a word, offensive. They looked confused and sloppy, and thanks to the ASU policy of scheduling at least one high school team each season the Devils dodged a bullet. ASU had first and goal at the NAU FOUR YARD LINE and failed to score. I place this squarely on the Hell Hogs. Some will argue that coach K would have passed the ball at least once during a real game, but it would be nice to reach the line to gain on the gound, especialy when te distance is one pace and the opponent is (supposedly) physically overmatched. When ASU has a real opponent and a lead late in the game, they need to be able to run the ball. I guess R.F.B. will have to do this, too. The question is which unit does he rescue- the tailbacks or the o-line? The fatties up front need the most help, that's for sure. Homer apologists will also tell you that NAU's paranormal 3-3-5 defensive alignment is confusing for the players, but they've had eight months to prepare for it. The coaches can be held partially accountable on this one but the play in the trenches was still inexcusable for a group with that level of experience.

NAU's Goal Line Stand
See above, plus this excellent analysis from someone who actually knows something about football.

Safeties
Barrett played adequately, but everyone else was wretched. Freshman Ryan McFoy was the one that fell on one of Watson's big gains, and Catanese was the one that leaped waaaay too early on Watson's other gamebreaker. Zach Cat was surprisingly absent after a productive 2005, and I really can't say anything more than that because I hardly saw him play.

Linebackers
Young and lost. Mike Nixon needs to go back to the Dodgers and the rest of them look like they could use a reshirt year. Why the quick departure Adam?



Herb Sendek was interviewed at halftime.
This is a bush league tactic done by unnamed villians. When things are going bad, change the topic to another sport. Pure BS, and I'm pissed it happened at Sun Devil Stadium.

Summary
Maybe 6-6 is a little harsh, but after watching Oregon and USC this weekend, anything better than 10-2 looks rather daunting.

Labels: anecdotal evidence, message board nonsense, Rudy Fucking Burgess, surrounded by morons

On my signal, unleash hell.
















Quarterbacks
Ok quarterback, singular. Rudy Carpenter returns as the nation's defending leader in passing efficiency and touchdown to interception ratio. He'll make the offense tick as long as he's under center, but the Sun Devils went from one of the deepest in all of college football at quarterback to one that is frighteningly shallow. No knock on Danny Sullivan, who is said to be ahead of where Carpenter was in terms of learning the playbook, but having a true freshman as your number two QB puts a big target on the number one. Everyone in Tempe has been talking about/anticipating/hoping to God for a really big hit on Willie Tuitama, but now we're all hoping karma doesn't jump up to bite us in the ass.

Tailbacks
We've said it before, but ASU has a great stable of running backs. Hopefully the diseases of thuggery and injury don't destroy this year's crop the way they did in 2003. Keegan Herring and his ridiculous biceps return in the starting role and they should have plenty of room to run considering the respect our passing game should command. Shaun DeWitty was the surprise of spring practice but has been a little slow out of the gates, something which Coach Koetter dismisses as Shaun being "very calculating." He has little room for error with the arrival of JuCo transfer Ryan Torain, a 220 lb load that hits the hole at full speed and pushes piles- something the fullback-free Koetter offense has lacked since the departure of Mike Karney. As if all of this wasn't enough, Coach K already pulled freshman Dmitri Nance's redshirt, citing that"he's just too good of a player." Nance will get to tote the rock a few times each game, but most of his meaningful playing time will come on special teams.

Tight End/H-Back
All-American Zach Miller leads this unit and is looking to rebound from a subpar 2005, oe where he was riddled with injury thus a slip in production. While known for his circus-type catching ability, he acually an amazing blocker, just like predecessor Todd Heap. If he has the 2006 we're all expecting, Zach will have the option of leaving early for the NFL. His bigger slower older brother Brent will line up at the starting H-Back slot where he will have ample opportunities to block and a few cracks at recieving passes. 17 year-old freak of nature Lance Evboumwan will redshirt and Jamaal Lewis will see some time at TE, but will primarily be used at wideout. Gator transfer Dane Guthrie has shown flashes of brilliance among some overall inconsistency, but he should see some reps.

Wide Receiver
Not even the injury bug can hold this group back (*knock on wood); there is simply too much talent waiting in the wings. This is the WR crop that should be waiting in line to attend such a pass happy school, and Koetter's hatred of the run has finally paid off. Terry Richardson and Jamaal Lewis/Mike Jones will start, and they will have the backup of gazelle-like sprinter Nate Kimbrough, full-of-promise Brandon Smith, and former Arizona big school POY Chris McGaha, a white receiver who breaks the possession reciever mold. T-Rich has shaken off a spring practice suspension to excel in the classroom and on the practice field, as he has grown from a stuck-up talent to one of the team's leaders and hardest workers. Speaking of suspensions, J-Lew will be out for the NAU game, but if the Devil-O misses him at all, 2006 will be an excruciatingly long year.

Offensive Line
ASU returns a seasoned group thanks to a flood of injuries last year. The Hell Hogs are led by senior captain Andrew Carnahan, a native Texan (we won't hold that against him) who has played in all four years during his tenure in Tempe. He'll be at left guard watching Rudy Carpenter's back, and his mates along the line include Brandon Rodd, Robert Gustavis, Stephen Berg, and Paul Faniakia. Hellish beast Zach Krula is still out with complications from an ankle injury sustained during last year's Northwestern game (week 3!) but may come back before season's end if needed. The two-deep is filled with guys who have game experience, now it's just a matter of five of them gelling into a cohesive, punishing unit.

The X-Factor
RUDY. FUCKING. BURGESS. You'll see him at wideout, running back, hell, he even threw a touchdown pass last year. He'll be on end-arounds, reverses, and if we're lucky a flea-flicker or halfback option. THe guy can and will do it all for the Sun Devils.

Summary
You can't stop us, you can only hope to contain us. G'head and try.

Labels: Rudy Fucking Burgess, we're sorry Sam Keller

The 2006 ASU depth chart has been released and once again, it looks like the Devils' success will only go as far as the defense can carry them.

D-Line
Camp Tontozona took its toll on this unit, and far worse than anyone expected. Transfers Loren Howard and Trannell Morant were the supposed saviors at defensive end, but they are each listed as third-string on either side, a perplexing position considering their respective physical skills. Howard has been day-to-day for weeks now, which has many Sun Devil fanatics leary of his so-called "mild quad injury." Dirk Koetter doesn't typically like to release injury information to the public, and this is all starting to sound like Kyle Caldwell's situation a year ago. Everyone hung their hat on his play being the cure for an otherwise anemic D-line, but he was injured most of the year and probably never played at 100%. This coupled with today's news that Howard will be kept out of Thursday's NAU game and possibly next Saturday's Nevada game spells doom for the unit up front, but there is some hope.

Jordan Hill, a whipping boy for many Pac-10 OT's last year, is currently listed at 301 pounds, up 25 from last season. All of those off-season burritos should help him clog the middle against the run, especially since he probably won't see as many double teams with fellow buffet buster Mike Marquardt transferring in from BYU and lining up at the other DT spot. IF Caldwell stays healthy and Dexter can continue the consistency he has shown during Spring and Fall practices, the Devil D may be able to put together their best consistent pass rush since the days of ol' #48. With the hope that Morant and Howard can contribute, opposing offenses may have their hands full. The injuries sustained thus far are definitely disappointing, but you can't mention the D-line and disappointment without giving mention to Shannon Jones and Brett Palmer. Both have been criticized (not just by me, but the coaches too) of being overweight, lazy, and lacking the work ethic required at the collegiate level. Neither have cracked the two deep once again this season, unless we're talking about the number of calzones at Greasy Tony's.

Linebackers
The flesh-eating tandem of Jamar Williams and Pat Tillman Pac-10 Defensive Player of the Year Dale Robinson have departed for Sunday, and the void will be noticeable. The recruiting trail was hit hard this winter, and SIX LB's were signed, but the unfortunate part is that about half of them will be sorely needed. Contributing "baby-backers" include true frosh Gerald Munns, the projected starter at the SAM position and his backup, JUCO transfer Garrett Judah. Former LA Dodger Mike Nixon is named the co-starter at, appropriately enough, the MIKE position, and true frosh/Pat Tillman look-alike Travis Goethel is the #2 at the WILL position. He heh, "#2." Hopefully these new pledges won't get hazed too hard by opposing Pac-10 offenses. The only thing I can look forward to is that the linebacker position requires instinct and speed more than anything, and those things are difficult to teach. Hopefully these kids have it, because if they don't it will be a long, long season.

Safety
ASU is so loaded at safety that Derron Ware has switched to linebacker. Huh?!

Ok, so it probably has more to do with the LB weakness, but the secondary has a little bit of talent to spare. Leading tackler Zach Catanese returns as the anchor of the secondary, but a lot of the buzz coming from camp has to do with batterymate Josh Barrett, who has exploded from an injury-filled 2005 to become the D's emotional leader. True freshman Ryan McFoy probably won't redshirt this year, so hopefully very soon he'll be known for something more than being the brother of a USC football player. Ooooo, do you think he knows Matt Leinart?!

Cornerback

Oh, now we've reached the dregs. The best player, Justin Tryon, has never played a D-1 down. The only word I've heard used for any of the other corners is inconsistent, whether it be Chris Baloney, Grant Cunkelton, or some other guys you've never heard of, like returning senior Keno Walter-White. Chad Green supposedly has the most talent but has spent plenty of time on the injury list over the course of his career; rumor around campus is that he is allergic to the weiht room. Looks like Rudy Burgess will have to save the day again, only this time on defense. The people's MVP will be turned loose on defense, and if he has half of his game-changing ability at corner things might be all right in Tempe, but don't bet on it. It will take more than one Superman to save this secondary.

Summary

It can't be any worse than last year...can it?

Labels: anecdotal evidence, ASU alumni, dirty icky recruiting, Rudy Fucking Burgess