Thursday, October 05, 2006


Ok, Now What?

Suppose, if you will, that this funk curently contaminating ASU quarterback Rudy Carpenter isn't simply temporary and his 2005 performance in which he led the nation in passing efficiency was an abberition. Oh crap, that's really, really possible. What next for the ASU offense? Let's examine a few options.

* Start playing true frosh backup Danny Sullivan. Riiiight. In his few appearances he has a few turnovers. The kid handles the pigskin like a vegan with a side of beef. The ball won't give you cancer, Danny.

* Switch LB Mike Nixon over to QB. He hasn't really learned the defense, but what the hell? Koetter recruited him as a quarterback five years ago, and its not like you don't use your throwing arm in baseball. This quarterback was the Arizona player of the year out of Sunnyslope High School, and it's just like riding a bike, right? Speaking of baseball players...

* WR Mike Jones at QB. He's a centerfielder for the Sun Devil baseball team, and this morsel of information comes straight from his player bio:
...versatile athlete who quarterbacked his team as a senior...threw for 1,997 yards and 17 touchdowns...also rushed for 684 yards and five more touchdowns...was the starting quarterback for the Texas High School All-Star game the summer after his senior year...
Sounds like a winner to me!

* Rudy. Fucking. Burgess. He threw a touchdown pass in Pac-10 play last year, which is more than Rudy Carpenter can say for himself this year. Plus, he's amazing. I say line him up under center and run the option, because at this point anything is better than what ASU has going on offense. Imagine, if you will, Burgess coming around the end with Ryan Torain flanking him, awaiting a possible pitch. Who do you cover if you're an outside linebacker? The Devils are deep enough at running back right now that they can even run the wishbone triple option, with the fake handoff up the middle. Sweeeeet. The key downfield threat in this old school Big 8 offensive attack is the tight end... I'd say ASU has that covered with Zach Miller. What's to stop us? Oh yeah, a weak O-line, a porous defense, etc.
Wishbone, motherfuckers.

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