The House Of Heat

You've got to be kidding me. People are jumping ship on Carpenter after a couple of bad outings and are calling for backup Danny Sullivan to compete for the starting job when spring camp begins in March. Arrogant? Yes. Erratic and unconventional? Guilty. But Sullivan is NOT better than Carpenter, and to declare him so after a good stint of mop up duty in awfully harsh.

Danny Sullivan had moderate success during mop-up duty in the Holiday bowl. He went 7-14 for 118 yards with a pick and a score, which is ok but not job promotion good. Besides, Texas had softened their coverage, playing a bit of umbrella/prevent passing defense, which we all know doesn't work. In other action this season, he stepped in to the UCLA game and turned a nearly locked-up game into a nail biter by fumbling the ball away to the Bruin defense. That fumble was no fluke, if you watch tape on Sullivan he (just guessing here) probably fumbled in more than half of his career appearances. As previously noted on this site, the ball won't give you cancer, Danny.

Paying little mind to the Holiday Bowl, Carpenter is 21-10 as ASU's starter and is on track to break school records in career games won, passing touchdowns, and passing yards. He is taking entirely too much blame for ASU's three losses, when in fact he should be given credit for carrying the offense after losing one of the Pac-10's top running backs in Ryan Torain and surviving that abysmal pass blocking.

Rudy Carpenter is one of the top quarterbacks in the Pac-10, a conference known for producing top-notch quarterbacks. Based on returning starters for 2008, it's hard to say he won't be an all-conference selection heading into next season. It's probably still too early for Jake locker, and don't try to sell me that Tuitama lemon. Ok, maybe Longshore, but is that something you want to gamble away by putting your faith in a backup with zero starts and fewer that 40 career passing attempts over two years?

Carpenter is definitely a polarizing figure, and another quarterback competition/controversy could prove detrimental to team unity, especially this early in Erickson's tenure. A promising 2006 team never got a chance after the Sam Keller switcheroo incident finishing a very meh 7-6, and the suggestion of Carpenter splitting practice reps with Sullivan would likely lead the Sun Devils down the same path. those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it. You don't lose your job going into your senior season. An ASU coach tried that once, and it blew up in his face eventually costing him his job. The suggestion is ludicrous, and Rudy has proven himself on the field. He gives his all on every play and he's a fiery competitor that should be leading ASU in the Pac-10 title hunt next season.

Labels: Hypocrisy, Oh crap here we go again, we're sorry Sam Keller

Here it is, my preseason top 25. I based my list on two primary factors, last year’s success and returning assets. It’s fluid as all hell and will change a ton between now and September 4.

This isn’t a prediction of how teams will finish, and schedules were not examined. This is simply my perception of the country’s top 25 teams as they stand right now. There’s obviously a lot of guesswork here, and I made a special effort to not look at other preseason rankings. It seemed like there were a few teams that belonged in the top 10 but that there was an abundance of teams that should be in the 10-20 range. Here goes…

1.USC
A very easy one here with essentially the entire defense back from a damn good team. JD Booty has a year of experience and the offensive skill players are a group of plug-and-play 5 star blue chippers.

2. West Virginia
A dangerous offense returns all of the skill players and the best running back recruit in the nation in Noel Devine.

3. LSU
Absolutely incredible depth to offset losing the #1 NFL draft choice.

4. Michigan
Many schools have “triplets,” but none are better than Henne, Manningham, and Hart.

5. Oklahoma
No QB? No problem. OU has superb talent at every position and a new QB will make their margins of victory smaller, that’s all.

6. Texas
They had a hiccup year after the 2005 MNC, but things seem to be coming back together in Austin. Everything is bigger there, after all.

7. Virginia Tech
On top of being everyone’s sentimental favorites, the running game and defense are going to be top notch, especially with one of the best linebacking corps in the country.

8. Louisville
The nation’s best drop-back passer is surrounded by a big, physical team. I wouldn't want to play them.

9. Arkansas
The pairing of the best player in college football and the most underrated running back in college football will be a tough tandem.

10. UCLA
20 starters back on a strong defensive team. Skill players a-plenty, too. Consistency will be key considering the blowout loss that followed the upset of USC.

11. South Carolina
The ‘Cock defense has had some growing pains but almost all of them are coming back and they’ve gelled as a unit. Losing Cory Boyd will hurt, but you can count on Spurrier to find decent receivers.

12. Florida State
I tried to ignore coach change hype (see ASU) but this team is loaded to the gills with talent and they were probably held back by jump-ball Jeffy. Watch out for a brewing QB controversy, too.

13. Tennessee
They’ll always have a good line and run game, but Erik Ainge has matured and seems ready to lead this year’s Vols.

14. Ohio State
Tressel will do just fine with a green RB and no passing game, just like he did in 2002.

15. Cal
They’re losing some absolute badasses on defense, but DeSean Jackson has a skill for making people look bad and he’s complimented by another great Tedford back in Justin Forsett.

16. Penn State
This is Penn State at it’s finest: Good QB, good linebackers, and average skill players. It will leave them looking up at Michigan and Ohio State in the Big 10, however.

17. Georgia
A good team last year that lost focus in a few games and it cost them. Stafford is a year better but a lot of little question marks on both sides of the ball keeps them from being higher.

18. Boston College
Matt Ryan has been anointed the best QB in the ACC and they bring a ton back on defense.

19. Oklahoma State
Here comes the offense! They can play some D, but they’ll be this year’s Texas Tech and beat a few teams by simply outscoring them.

20. Hawaii
The Hawaii Bowl taught me that these guys can actually play. They’ve got a mean, physical defense and some quarterback named Colt.

21. Rutgers
Ray Rice, all day long. Schiano built this program the right way and depth is developing everywhere.

22. Florida
Losing nine defensive starters and a starting QB leads to a mid-20s mercy ranking for the champs.

23. Clemson
One of the better running back tandems in the country with Spiller and Davis. They could get over the hump this year and challenge for the ACC title.

24. San Jose State
Ahhh, a sexy mid-major upset pick! Everyone else is jumping on USF’s jock but this Spartan squad is good. Dick Tomey has a solid defense and some big athletic receivers that are raising eyebrows on the West Coast. The more I read on them the more I like them.

25. Oregon
A defense returning a lot of playmakers and an offense with Jonathan Stewart could overcome Belotti’s QB flip-flopping.

I’m well aware of ASU’s absence, but a team with so many defensive questions does not deserve such a ranking. Add to that, last year’s quarterback play wasn’t exactly lights out and the receivers were downright terrible.

Who got left out and why:

Alabama: I’m not convinced Saban is the second coming of the Bear…yet. Arizona: Offense
Arizona State: Defense
Auburn: Cox isn’t that great of a QB and a lot of starters are gone
Kentucky: Defense and last year’s luck (+15 TO margin)
Maryland: they won 9 games last year, but against whom?
Missouri: I’ve heard the have a great QB, but I haven’t heard anything else
Nebraska: Sam Keller can’t do it alone… or can he?
Oregon State: They’re going to miss Matt Moore A LOT
South Florida: Sorry, I’m just not buying it.
TCU: SJSU got my sexy mid-major pick. Sorry.
Texas A&M: the coach Fran unexciting factor
Texas Tech: Yarr, defense matey
Wake Forest: Last year was luck, luck, luck. And a weak ACC.

EDIT: As an observant reader was quick to point out, I totally forgot about Wisconsin. The Badgers have to replace QB Stocco but they have another one of those huge yet mysteriously quick backs and you know Wiscy is always powerful in the trenches. They probably deserve to be wedged somewhere in between Michigan and Penn State, but damn if I know who to bump.

Labels: blogpollin', we're sorry Sam Keller

You think you can do better? be my guest. At the end of the year I'll be sure to point out every one I get right and ignore every one I get wrong.

9/1, San Jose State: Former UA coach Dick Tomey has a knack for beating ASU and this will be closer than most think. Expect a tough defense, volumes of trick plays, and for this game to still be in doubt at halftime. SJSU was a bowl team last year, and after scaring the piss out of me the Devils will pull away in the second half. ASU by 17

9/8, Colorado: The Buffs went on the road last year and almost pulled off an upset at Georgia, but I think they're still playing intramurals, brother. Too much offense on our side of the ball and the crowd should be good. ASU by 21

9/15, San Diego State: SDSU returns 4 defensive starters from a 3-9 team. While that may help, it won't help enough against Ryan Torain and a senior-laden O-line. The defense should be starting to gel by now. ASU by 24

9/22, Oregon State: Nobody in Corvallis realizes how much they're going to miss departed QB Matt Moore. He was the heart and soul of the team that beat USC and I don't expect them to be in fighting shape by week four. ASU by 14

9/29, at Stanford: I can't believe the Devils haven't won a Pac-10 roadie in Cali since 1999. Coach Erickson has the team playing with confidence and Dirk Koetter is a distant memory. ASU by 30+

10/6, at Washington State: The first serious road trip will be close- it's WSU’s homecoming and QB Brink's a gamer. They have some quality receivers but their run game is a bit suspect. ASU by 7

10/13, Washington: Trap game! ASU returns home at a 6-0 mark and there's a buzz building around town causing the best crowd of the year. UW will be anywhere from 2-3 to 0-5 and hungry for a win. If Dirk's still coaching this is a loss. ASU by 13

10/27, Cal: The Devils will be fresh off of a bye week and seeking redemption after last year's embarassment in Berkeley, but ASU's secondary + DeSean Jackson = bad news, even on Homecoming. Cal by 4

11/3, at Oregon: I'm not sold on QB Dennis Dixon despite last year's statstical beat down in Tempe (lots of screen passes that went long) and Coach Belotti will probably be shuffling Leaf the younger in by this point in the season. ASU by 9

11/10, at UCLA: 20 returning starters for the Bruins, holy freaking God. Their strength last year was the run D and that won't change. Expect Torain to have his worst day of the year. UCLA by 12

11/22, USC: Arizona State has a hard time getting a good crowd on Thanksgiving Day and it's freakin' USC. The young Trojan talent is firing on all cylinders by now and the tryptophan leaves the Devils flat. USC by 27

12/1, Arizona: The premier matchup will be UA's defense against ASU's offense, but the game will be decided by Air-izona vs. the Devil D. If concussion prone Willie Tuitama still has his head on his shoulders by week 12, the kittycat offense will be decent but not good enough. ASU will be trying to save face after two consecutive losses and Erickson won't let them come out flat. ASU by 10



Once again we’re the best of the rest of the Pac-10 at 9-3. We still don’t have the horses to run with the big boys but we’re not beating ourselves against the other dwarves. With this schedule we should be better but it’ll take a minor miracle to run through the final five games with two or fewer losses. The only chance is that the players adapt and buy into Erickson’s schemes quickly and all of the outstanding questions are answered with good fortune.

Bowl game, Nebraska: Sam Keller throws for 600+ yards and 6 TD's in a Husker rout. He then goes into the stands and fucks half of ASU's women, yet mysteriously all women present become pregnant and give birth to coked-up, rocket-armed cyborgs that destroy the earth. Far fetched, yes, but it's as close to anyone's bowl prediction made before fall camp.

Labels: Dirk's a horse's ass, drugs, Pac-10 business, the new era, UA morons, we're sorry Sam Keller

This does not look like a satisfied coach.

Labels: Rudy Fucking Burgess, Shut up Carp, the new era, we're sorry Sam Keller

With my man crush on Sam Keller in full force after Rudy Carpenter opened his big mouth, it's good to see Sam the Man in the news. If you're desperate enough for football content to come to my typo-ridden corner of the blogosphere, you probably already know that my boy SK was cited for disturbing the peace yesterday in Lincoln.

Yeah. It's pretty hard to joke about this one since the actual incident is so ridiculous, but the hits keep a comin' from the net. EDSBS' post fefatures the video for "Move" by Ludacris, but my fave so far is from Cactus Rancher "Sun Devil 916" with this gem of a zinger (mmm...donuts):

He had won the parking spot first, only to have it given to someone else later. No word yet on if he will be transferring parking lots after the incident.

Someone pointed out how feasible this really is when you look at ASU's parking prices for the upcoming academic years, but the kicker of the entire incident is that the magic bullet of a cup is already on ebay. Yay Capitalism!

So yeah, it's a short story and there's nothing much else going on...what the hell. How about a pic of proud ASU alum Victoria Thornton!

Go Devils!

Labels: ASU alumni, I miss college, message board nonsense, regular old crackers, Shut up Carp, we're sorry Sam Keller

Spring practice is here, finally! Unless you have one of those premium subscriptions to those expert-filled star-giving websites, you're as out in the cold as a homeless eskimo. I don't want to pay $80 a year either, so I'll attack the published material as mch as possible. ASU beat writer Jeff Metcalfe, of who I am a fan, sat down with Rudy Carpenter and baited him into making the following stupid remark.

"We had so many guys on the line hurt and no wideouts virtually..... I was second in the Pac-10 in sacks."

Returning Wideouts that saw playing time last year: Mike Jones, Brandon Smith, Chris McGaha, Nate Kimbrough, Kyle Williams, Rudy Burgess, and Tyrice Thompson

Returning Offensive Linemen that saw playing time last year: Thomas Altieri, Paul Faniaka, Brandon Rodd, Shawn Lauvao, Robert Gustavis, Mike Pollak, and Julius Orieukwu

Burn bridges much, dick? It doesn't sound like you've ever heard of a fellow Cali-boy douchebag named Chris Rix, who was such a locker room cancer that Pro Bowl WR Anquan Boldin was known to intentionally drop pases from him IN GAMES while playing together at Florida State. Shut your pie hole and throw the ball, son. this was the first actual football article in the Arizona Republic in months, so you know everyone in the valley read it. Good job, team leader. Oh and there's planty more:

On differences between this spring and last:
"It's going to be lot different. I think we all know who the quarterback is going to be. If Danny (Sullivan) comes in and beats me out, hey, that's my fault.

Oh yeah, you played lights-out last year after Keller's departure. Pressure is good for the competitive spirit, and you have none coming from the depth chart. Bully for you. Sullivan will never play since you can't build an offense around a guy that throws the ball like Edward Scissorhands. We all know that, and I long for the day that Chasen Stengel and Samson Szakacsy can chase your whiny ass up the ranks.

"So many times the whole being 6-5, 230, having a cannon is so overrated."

I have no idea who he's talking about.
This man pwns you, Carp.

This year there's going to be more of an emphasis on football rather than position conflict and controversies."

It certainly doesn't appear so.

Labels: movie references, Shut up Carp, surrounded by morons, the new era, we're sorry Sam Keller

Mmmmmm...Rolling Rock.

Yup. Thirty-three freakin' yards. Of passing offense. For an entire game. An ASU game. Apologies for not posting last week, but I was in the middle of an angry gauntlet of music, climaxing with two consecutive nights of Widespread Panic in Charlottesville. Woooo! Sorry about that. Since my last post not involving big shits ASU has, well, taken two big shits versus Cal and Oregon, respectively. The latter was hard enough to watch, but reading the box score was even more difficult. Thirty-three passing yards for the Devils over sixty minutes of football is obviously unacceptable, but at least it produced a 100-yard rusher in Ryan Torain(again). He has been a calming source of consistency in an otherwise tumultous season marred by an ocean of inconsistency, even by ASU standards. The question I keep asking myself is, "how does one person reverse the fortunes of the entire program without doing anything illegal?"

Onlookers have testified that Carpenter has lost all confidence in himself, so much that he often appears afraid to throw the ball. I was watching the game at a bar in Richmond while there was a Virginia Tech game being broadcast concurrently, so there was no sound available thanks to those turkey-lovin' motherfuckers (ramblin wreck, bitches). I was under the impression that there was excellent pass coverage by the Ducks and that was why Rudy held on to the ball for so long but apparently I was wrong. According to a testimonial by someone we'll call Pat...

During the interception in the end zone, Mike Jones did 100 jumping jacks, took a few pictures with the cheerleaders, called his mom, fucked a hot chick, went to Circle K and got a gatorade, drank it, had a hot dog on the way back into the stadium, and was STILL wide open in the far corner when Carp (under)threw into double coverage and was picked off. Jones then looked at the student section and lifted his arms in frustration, as if to say "what the fuck?!"

The defense HAD been the toast of Tempe, going into the Oregon slaughter tied with the national lead in sacks, even though they recorded a whopping none against Cal the previous week. Keno Walter-White couldn't cover Charlie Weis in the open field(Weis you may remember is the love child of Rosie O'Donnell & Jabba the Hutt), the linebackers seem to be UN-learning with each passing week, and the d-line, while drastically improved, has managed to be a bust so far. Loren Howard still has yet to see the field as a Devil, and Tranell Morant has been there but you'd have to pay very close attention to know. The safeties are leading the team in tackles again, which of course is only so because the nine guys in front of them can't make plays.

So is this a case of ASU being really bad or both Cal and Oregon being really good? A little of both, methinks. Carpenter set an ASU record for fewest passing yards in a game, outsucking such legends as Griffin Goodman, Jeff Krohn, Andy Goodenough (how ironic), Chad Christensen, post-op and post 8-ball Ryan Kealy, Steve Campbell, and the incomparable (or so I thought) John Leonard. Yeah, I went there. John Leonard. Cal AND Oregon can't both be that good. We suck. Maybe we'll make a bowl game. Hmmm, I'm not even sure about that enymore.

God I hate football.

The guy on the left says it all, and the empty bleachers echo his sentiments.

Labels: anecdotal evidence, ASU alumni, Dirk's a horse's ass, I'm witty, surrounded by morons, we're sorry Sam Keller

On my signal, unleash hell.
















Quarterbacks
Ok quarterback, singular. Rudy Carpenter returns as the nation's defending leader in passing efficiency and touchdown to interception ratio. He'll make the offense tick as long as he's under center, but the Sun Devils went from one of the deepest in all of college football at quarterback to one that is frighteningly shallow. No knock on Danny Sullivan, who is said to be ahead of where Carpenter was in terms of learning the playbook, but having a true freshman as your number two QB puts a big target on the number one. Everyone in Tempe has been talking about/anticipating/hoping to God for a really big hit on Willie Tuitama, but now we're all hoping karma doesn't jump up to bite us in the ass.

Tailbacks
We've said it before, but ASU has a great stable of running backs. Hopefully the diseases of thuggery and injury don't destroy this year's crop the way they did in 2003. Keegan Herring and his ridiculous biceps return in the starting role and they should have plenty of room to run considering the respect our passing game should command. Shaun DeWitty was the surprise of spring practice but has been a little slow out of the gates, something which Coach Koetter dismisses as Shaun being "very calculating." He has little room for error with the arrival of JuCo transfer Ryan Torain, a 220 lb load that hits the hole at full speed and pushes piles- something the fullback-free Koetter offense has lacked since the departure of Mike Karney. As if all of this wasn't enough, Coach K already pulled freshman Dmitri Nance's redshirt, citing that"he's just too good of a player." Nance will get to tote the rock a few times each game, but most of his meaningful playing time will come on special teams.

Tight End/H-Back
All-American Zach Miller leads this unit and is looking to rebound from a subpar 2005, oe where he was riddled with injury thus a slip in production. While known for his circus-type catching ability, he acually an amazing blocker, just like predecessor Todd Heap. If he has the 2006 we're all expecting, Zach will have the option of leaving early for the NFL. His bigger slower older brother Brent will line up at the starting H-Back slot where he will have ample opportunities to block and a few cracks at recieving passes. 17 year-old freak of nature Lance Evboumwan will redshirt and Jamaal Lewis will see some time at TE, but will primarily be used at wideout. Gator transfer Dane Guthrie has shown flashes of brilliance among some overall inconsistency, but he should see some reps.

Wide Receiver
Not even the injury bug can hold this group back (*knock on wood); there is simply too much talent waiting in the wings. This is the WR crop that should be waiting in line to attend such a pass happy school, and Koetter's hatred of the run has finally paid off. Terry Richardson and Jamaal Lewis/Mike Jones will start, and they will have the backup of gazelle-like sprinter Nate Kimbrough, full-of-promise Brandon Smith, and former Arizona big school POY Chris McGaha, a white receiver who breaks the possession reciever mold. T-Rich has shaken off a spring practice suspension to excel in the classroom and on the practice field, as he has grown from a stuck-up talent to one of the team's leaders and hardest workers. Speaking of suspensions, J-Lew will be out for the NAU game, but if the Devil-O misses him at all, 2006 will be an excruciatingly long year.

Offensive Line
ASU returns a seasoned group thanks to a flood of injuries last year. The Hell Hogs are led by senior captain Andrew Carnahan, a native Texan (we won't hold that against him) who has played in all four years during his tenure in Tempe. He'll be at left guard watching Rudy Carpenter's back, and his mates along the line include Brandon Rodd, Robert Gustavis, Stephen Berg, and Paul Faniakia. Hellish beast Zach Krula is still out with complications from an ankle injury sustained during last year's Northwestern game (week 3!) but may come back before season's end if needed. The two-deep is filled with guys who have game experience, now it's just a matter of five of them gelling into a cohesive, punishing unit.

The X-Factor
RUDY. FUCKING. BURGESS. You'll see him at wideout, running back, hell, he even threw a touchdown pass last year. He'll be on end-arounds, reverses, and if we're lucky a flea-flicker or halfback option. THe guy can and will do it all for the Sun Devils.

Summary
You can't stop us, you can only hope to contain us. G'head and try.

Labels: Rudy Fucking Burgess, we're sorry Sam Keller

He looked way better in Maroon and Gold, but that's besides the point.

No one, including me, really seems to know what happened, but I will absolutely miss Sam Keller in a Sun Devil uniform. Whether or not he's the guilty party, I choose to take the high road (for once) and pay tribute to good ol' #9. I mean #2. #5? Whatever. Here are some of the things that made me a fan of Sam, in chronological order:

He chose ASU over Michigan. A storied tradition of tall, white QB's with NFL success, Sam spurred the Wolverines at the 11th hour and chose to wander into the desert. This is extra cool since Sam's father Mike sported the maize and blue while playing linebacker in the surprisingly quiet Big House. Sam gives a "screw you, dad!" in a moment of teen angst not seen since Eric and Lyle Menendez.

Day after Thanksgiving, 2004. Well decorated senior QB Andrew Walter leads the 8-2 Sun Devils into stench filled Tucson against the 2-8 rival Wildcats. AW goes down with an injury in the fourth quarter while the team is down by three scores and Sam nearly brings them back save a dropped 4th down pass, something for which Matt Miller will never be forgotten/forgiven. Going into a hostile environment and facing a large deficit isn't easy, but Keller got within 23 yards of having gone down as one of the top clutch performers in ASU history. He was the silver lining within an otherwise dark cloud of a day.

370 yards, 4 TDs, Sun Bowl MVP. The halftime score was 3-0 ASU, and while we were all baffled by the defense (or better yet where it had been all year), we were shaken by the first half QB play. Were those drives in Tucson simply flashes of brilliance in a pan of mediocrity? The 3rd and 4th quarters were a resounding "STFU" for any and all doubters. The lasting image of Keller that day was that after each touchdown pass, he could easily be seen flexing his muscles and giving a samurai-style bow to the Purdue bench. After AW's stoic Joe Cool routine, this display of bravado was a welcome sight. We would be in good hands come 2005.

September 10, 2005: Keller proves he's for real. It's easy to light up Arizona, Purdue, and Temple, but here come the Tigahs. In the game moved from Baton Rouge to Tempe (thanks Katrina) Sam strutted his stuff against a defense that will have over a dozen of the guys occupying the two deep on NFL rosters. 461 yards and four TD passes were almost enough to overcome the special teams implosion clinic put on by the Devils, which included a blocked field goal, a blocked punt, and a fourth and long converted by LSU's punter throwing a duck of a pass to a wiiiiide open receiver. We were considered by many to be the best one-loss team in the nation, and Keller was first or second in nearly every passing catergory. I hate Tom Osborne.

October 1, 2005: I hate Reggie Bush. For those in attendance, this game will be remembered for the sweltering heat and agonizing disappointment. For those who watched from their couches and sports bars, it will be remembered (at least for ASU fans) for Sam's 5 interceptions and the mysterious Derek Hagan handoff to a Trojan DB that led to the aforementioned agony and subsequent pain-numbing drink-a-thon. In the 3rd quarter of this game that espn classic never wants us to forget, Keller took a big-ass needle full of pain killer in his throwing shoulder, straight up North Dallas Forty style. One has to love his "I don't care if it falls off, I want to win dammit!" attitude. That may explain the 5 INTs, but many are quick to forget that he still got us back to a 28-24 lead with under 6 minutes remaining against a team that hadn't lost in 29 games. We were considered by many to be the best two-loss team in the nation, and Keller was still first or second in nearly every passing catergory.

The following week against Oregon, Keller stiff-arms Haloti Ngata. 'Nuff said.

Keller was never the same QB after the USC shoulder injection, but I'll always remember the good things Sam did in Tempe and not the (rumors of the) bad things. I'll keep a close eye on Sam now that he's in Lincoln and I wish him the best, but I have only one final comment on the Sam Keller saga: 19-0, BITCHES!

Labels: blog links, Dirk's a horse's ass, surrounded by morons, we're sorry Sam Keller

Today feels like a big concussion. ASU head coach Dirk Koetter, after naming Sam Keller the starting quarterback, has gone John Kerry on all of us and named Rudy Carpenter the starter. There will be a much longer post on this topic once I peel myself off of the ceiling, but my BAC is way too low to start on that rant. Besides, isn't it kind of difficult to make conclusions when there aren't any facts on which to base it?

Keller was excused from Sunday night's practice to "review his options." It sounds like Koetter expects the true senior to transfer, so let's examine his options. Playing time is important to Keller, as he has one season of eligibility remaining. What really throws a curveball into all of this mess is that he never used his redshirt.

1) Keller stays with ASU. It's really not that unforeseeable, despite what the internet tells you. Since Jake the Snake graduated (9 season ago), ASU has had ONE season where the same quarterback started every game, the 2003 campaign with Andrew Walter. ,It's not out of the question that Rudy could get hurt even behind a very seasoned O-line. If he stays and Carpenter gets through the season without so much as a hangnail, as long as he refuses mop-up time he can claim a redshirt year and pull a Kruger- he can transfer to any D-1 school and play right away under a new NCAA rule(that oh by the way is total garbage). This is the best situation for ASU, as they have an insurance policy for Rudy's arm/knees. I don't think anyone outside of Tucson wants to see true freshman Danny Sullivan take any meaningful snaps this year.

2) Immediately transfer to a D-1 school. He can take his redshirt year this season and still play next year. There are plenty of teams that would love to have him, but my picks for early favorites would be either Colorado or Nebraska. Both run an offense conducive to chucking it early and often, and both have immediate needs under center. The push goes to the Buffs, who currently employ Keller's former QB coach Mark Helfrich as their offensive coordinator.

3) Transfer to a D-1AA school. There are certainly plenty to choose from, and Keller is probably better than at least 99.9% of their current quarterbacks. He can play this year, showcasing his ability to quickly pick up an offense to the NFL scouts. He'll also pad his stats against inferior competition. Jeff Krohnwill tell you how much the scouts eat that up.

Keller(9) is greeted by Dirk Koetter(96) before Sunday's practice.













4) Say 'ah fuck it' and start prepping for next year's draft. This could be fun. Sam could hang with rappers, get his Goose on, and study the kabbala with Ishmael Soprano, all while embarassing his alma mater long after his departure. Nothing says "big NFL bucks" like man boobs. (and I ought to know)

And the worst thing Sam Keller could possibly do...

5) Transfer to U of A and win a national championship. Commense vomiting.

Labels: Dirk's a horse's ass, drugs, I'm a big fatass, surrounded by morons, we're sorry Sam Keller