The House Of Heat: Matthew McConaughey Is A Traitor

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Matthew McConaughey Is A Traitor

Watching this Texas native/alum/resident stoner jumping around on Texas' sidelines just isn't enough is it? It's one thing to give an interview in the booth of a great game few are watching to promo your new flop film We Are Marshall, but there is no good reason for you to jump around on the Marshall sidelines like a retard. As a native of Oklahoma I consider this to be an omen of epic proportion, instructions from God himself to gamble, and to do so heavily on the Sooners for this weekend's Red River Shotout. Hang dem Horns!

Horns fans should be ashamed of this guy, especially since he's their most famous alum in between Earl Campbell and Ricky Williams. Take that Texas, with your Oklahoma Suks beer and all. Yeah, it's a real product, concocted by the folks at Independence Brewery in the center of all that is unholy: Austin, Texas. Is there anything good about Texas, you ask? All I can think of is that no matter what food you order in any restaurant in Texas, it comes topped with bacon, jalapenos, and chili, and all that results in is a case of the JoePa's. That's it. The best they have to offer ends in diarrhea, pure and simple. I hate Texas. They've wanted independence from the Union for centuries, and I say they should have gotten it decades ago. Back to McConaughey, is it just me or is he looking more and more like the cavemen from those obnoxious Geico commercials? You be the judge.