Tuesday, February 12, 2008

 

U of A Sports Debacle Instructions

The following .pdf document was discovered by Devils Digest moderator Big E. It was apparently sent out to all wildcat fans following the Sun Devil basketball sweep that concluded on Sunday. It seems that their fallback rally cry of "wait 'til basketball season!" has grown stale and they don't even have the promise of football recruiting to look forward to any longer.

This Sun Devil dominance has left many cat fans clueless and unprepared (just like their degrees do- Zing!) for encounters with Sun Devil fans who have been basking in the glory of their recent success. Apparently Arizona Athletic Director Jim Livengood felt they should all be on the same page.

The findings:

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I honestly could not have thought that I could end up thinking that Arizona State fans/students/alumni were any MORE ignorant than I previously did, but your "writing" has more than satisfied the stereotype of the brain-dead ASU douche, to the enth degree.

Congratulations.

Given that I am from Phoenix -- yet left the State for a small private University with shitty sports teams -- I have always tried to convince myself that I should root for ASU.

The blind and mindless cacophony of "people" like you is the deterrent that not only keeps me from rooting for ASU, but from going back to the state, itself.

Hopefully, ASU will someday make literacy a requirement for admission, rather than the current standards (i.e. a puka shell necklace, some kind of Jeep, constant use of the word "bro," unbuttoned silk shirts with large collars and overall worthlessness in the eyes of everyone else on the planet).

Go fuck yourself, you worthless fucking simpleton.
 
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