Tuesday, December 26, 2006

 

Fuck Hawaii, Fuck Colt Brennan, and Fuck Don Ho.

Mele Kalikmyballs.

While the Sun Devils played inspired football for most of Sunday night's game against the Hawaii Warriors, Dirk Koetter proved to be too much for the players to overcome as piss-poor halftime adjustments and weak efforts on the field plagued ASU late in the fourth quarter. June Jones and the Hawaii coaching staff must have reminded Colt Brennan that he was passing against the Arizona State secondary, sans an injured Zach Catanese no less, and the junior record-setting QB followed in the steps of Dennis Dixon, Nate Longshore, and too many others by scorching them to the tune of 559 passing yards and 5 touchdowns in Hawaii's 41-24 victory.

5 Good things About Sunday Night's Loss:
1.) Rudy Carpenter played his best game since the 2005 Insight Bowl. You won't see it on the statline, but the lost mojo/swagger of which everyone spoke following the midseason slump was finally back for the Hawaii Bowl, even if it was too little, too late.
2.) Mike Jones! The guys in the booth kept making references to the rapper of the same name, and Jones earned it. He had, by far, his best game as a Sun Devil and looks to lead the receiving corps into the Dennis Erickson era with some promise. This was the player everyone saw in the spring game, and it's about damn time it translated into a real game. He had 5 catches for 72 yards, but many were in clutch situations.
3.) Ryan Torain will be in the backfield for the 2007 Sun Devils. Dude's phenomenal and should be one of the top backs in the Pac next year. He had 160 yards on 18 carries, including a career-long 62-yarder.
4.) There are no 300 pound tailbacks in the Pac-10. Thank God.
5.) Dirk Koetter is gone. Shots anyone?! No more emotionless players. No more folding under pressure. No more punting away any hope of winning games. Throughout most of the game I thought ASU played well and did Dirk proud, but as soon as he quit on them they quit on him. This is twice now that Koetter has pulled this punt crap, and since it is the last time (yeeha!) he gets the horse's ass again.

Even a horse's ass knows when not to punt. At least it didn't get blocked.

Additional kudos for solid play go to Josh Barrett, Travis Goethel, Brandon Smith, and the outgoing seniors.

5 Not So Good Things About Sunday Night's loss:
1.) Tackling, or lack thereof. Jesus. Fucking. Christ. Get in front of a guy, wrap his legs, and drive up. It's just that simple. If you think he's going to juke, watch his midsection. It's a tell-tale sign of which way he's going. I learned this in pop warner, it's really not that complicated. ASU's D probably holds Brennan to less than 400 yards passing if the secondary could have dropped guys upon initial contact. I'm not talking about those bruising running backs, either- they are freaks of nature and have to be treated accordingly. Hawaii's wide receivers needed to be brought down, or knocked out of bounds, waaaay earlier than they were.

2.) Keno Walter-White. Sorry buddy, you're back in the shithouse again. I really appreciate the photo op on 11/25 and you seem like a really nice guy, but you were everybody's bitch on Sunday. You were much like a port-o-potty: you got used, and often times shit on, everywhere you went. One of Hawaii's receivers had 308 receiving yards, and even though I haven't reviewed the game film I'd be willing to bet that he was your man to cover most of the time.

3.) Justin Tryon letting the guy go. After Dirk punted the game away it really didn't make much difference, but you can't get called out on national tv by a neutral observer for a lack of effort. Coach Erickson was probably watching (from a bar?) the telecast and you are in his doghouse before having never met the man. You have been the team's top corner all year, but you will now have to rebuild your reputation with many. I't a long offseason with nothing else to do, so you can expect this incident to be abuzz all year.

4.) Terry Richardson and Jamaal Lewis didn't make the trip to Hawaii. There wasn't a big deal made about it, leading me to believe that it was for disciplinary reasons. These talented individuals have been marred by off-field problems all season, and it must be a sad day for them. Their collegiate careers ended without spectacle or pomp; these are two men who should be worried about where they are being drafted, not if they are. It's sad to see such a waste of God-given talent, both for the team and for the individuals involved.

5.) Zach Miller is as good as gone. Erickson will have to do some major selling, but I think that there is little left for Miller to prove. His receiving numbers are down this season due to Carpenter's poor play coupled with the emergence of the running game, and a new offense will 1) be complicated to install and 2) more than likely feature tight end passes less frequently. Miller still awaits his junior NFL scouting evaluation, but many feel he is a legitimate first round pick based on his blocking and receiving skills. We'll miss you Zach, and thanks for staying home and being a Devil when you could have gone anywhere out of high school.

Additional thumbs down go to Kyle Caldwell's graduation, Zach Catanese's injury, and Jonathan Johnson's shanked punts.

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Comments:
Good analysis! Couldn't have agreed more with your review of KWW. The man, had what...one decent game this yr? The CB position has been a BIG problem during Koetter's tenure at ASU. He never upgraded that position... and with a pass happy PAC10, is there a more important position on defense?
 
Fuck Arizona Cry Devils, and Fuck You too!!!! You got fuck'n owned by Hawaii so wah wah wah bitches!!!!

Comeback again and you'll get the same results fags!!!

Oh BTW, I love how your D-lineman like to kick people in the nuts, is that the only way you fags can play!!

FUCK ARIZONA!!!Come back and suck more cock when you can!!!!
 
All you HAWAII Hater motherfuckers are gonna pay. You are the ones who are the ball-kickers. we're gonna fuck your mothers while you cry like little whiny bitches. Once we challenge your dumb asses again and find this fuckhead that wrote that shit about Colt brennan and don ho, we're gonna make him eat our shit... then shit out our shit...and eat their shit that's made up f our shit that we made him eat. And then all you Arizona motherfucks are next.

Love the Anti-Arizona Klan!
 
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