The House Of Heat

Some special thanks and commendations are in order regarding Saturday's trip to Tucson. Expect a completely different post regarding the actual game within a day or so.

The Goose officially holds the title of the patron saint of less drunk than the rest of us. Thanks for driving, big guy. You truly are a gentlemen.

Tommy did a kegstand... in the back of a moving vehicle. He did a lot more- 20 or so- but that first one was special for its physics/law defying grandeur. Also note that he woke up drunk on Saturday and was still toasted when we hit the road that morning, adding style and difficulty points. That should make up for the last three he attempted when he promptly fell on his face.


The tailgate lot at the intersection of Speedway and Cherry was a good mix of ASU and UA fans, with the latter being surprisingly cordial. The ASU fans were obviously better looking, in greater numbers, better drinkers, cooks and tailgaters, but I was seriously shocked at how nice the kitties were this year. I had more than one civil conversations regarding the game, the rivalry as a whole, and life in general with folks wearing red, and I even posed for a picture with one. I subtly gave the guy the finger in the photo, but that's neither here nor there.

In another instance, one UA chick showed up and was mouthy out of the gate, even stooping so low as to drop the "when was the last time you got laid?" smack. A response of "six hours before my flight" shut her up, but she returned for what appeared to be more when out of nowhere she gave me a hug. She apologized for her earlier actions, wished us a good game, and went back to her lawn chair and cooler. Less than a half-hour later she fell over drunk and was put into the car by her boyfriend who promptly drove her away. We're pretty sure she didn't make it to the game, and we all wished for a camcorder when her face hit asphalt.

We were seated in front of several guys in red/blue face paint for the game all the while hoping we weren't going to be sent to jail for assault, especially after the stories I've heard about Mexican jail. We took our seats and stood early and often with excitement as ASU rattled off big play after big play, and we eventually just stayed up awaiting the standard "down in front" heckle. It never came to my surprise as the painted men simply stood behind us in silence, as 33 rushing yards will do that to a fan. Trust me, I know. Again, cordial UA fans? I don't believe it either and am seriously considering researching the gluttonous consumption of copious amounts of alcohol and its short term effects on hearing. Look for it in the January/February edition of JAMA.

The much maligned and oft picked-on Keno Walter-White is a pretty f'ing cool guy. As we were about to leave our perch above the ASU players' tunnel KWW popped out of nowhere with the Territorial Cup. In a drunken slur I asked to hold it with the certainty that I would be declined but he responded with a "Hell yeah!" Shocked as I was, I reverted to my roots as a hockey player by lifting the silver vessel high, then kissing it. One of the team trainers was cordial enough to get Keno, the cup, and the rest of us in a group photo. Yay us, and shame on the rest of the group for heading to the car.
Tommy managed to evade a small mass of police officers and jump the fence on to the field, and he was able to go all over the place without being too conspicuous. If you review the game film, look for him popping over the shoulder of MVP Ryan Torain during his post-game interview.

The aforementioned Tommy received a hero's welcome when we got back to te tailgate lot. Aparently some folks had been so impressed with his, er, drunkedness that they waited there to say goodbye and good luck. I didn't even bother to ask why.

On the drive home we listened to the radio broadcast of ASU's stunning basketball victory over Iowa. We pulled into Casa Grande for dinner and announced the win to a restaurant filled with gold t-shirts and the place erupted. There may be something building at WFA, now if we can just get some people to go to the games the Sun Devil hoopsters may really get rolling.

I don't have a single complaint about the entire trip. No one got arrested or hurt, which is always a positive. It was a truly stunning day to watch ASU claim it's sixth Territorial Cup in eight years. Thanks to all who to contributed.

Labels: anecdotal evidence, ASU alumni, hoops, I miss college, I'm a big fatass, rivalry rants, tailgating, UA morons